Turning Point
Chapter Seven: Drawing the Line
The anticipation is the air was stifling, thick and palpable in it overwhelming weight, shapeless and formless, hovering in it malignant presence as it combined with their worries and fear, until it began to seep into the minds of those present, tormenting, unnerving.
Keiko stole a glance at Yusuke, who sat at a table just beyond her bench from where they had congregated that early morning in the still-closed ramen house. They had not dared to sit near one another, not with Katsuhiko's stern visage just a few feet away. He turned his head at the same time, and their eyes met. Keiko found there, in warm eyes of mahogany brown, the same mixture of doubt and fear that she felt inside, twisting in her gut, but also a whisper of a determined resolve. It reassured her, however it may waver, that he had not given up completely.
But that was just like Yusuke, to not give up, to not surrender. By giving in too soon, they would be giving up so much together. However, that was where the conflict lay in the first place. If they did not give in, how strained would both their relationships with Katsuhiko become, both as father and surrogate father?
He smiled softly, the expression strained with his heart not in it, but the gesture warmed her nonetheless as she returned it, wishing she was closer, to have some sort of reassurance, to be able to hold on to him and never let go. As Katsuhiko's head turned, he mouthed a quick sequence of words before turning away as well.
"I love you."
That was it, three words of simple reassurance, but her heart seemed to lighten, allowing herself a small smile as she mouthed the same words to his back, knowing he would not hear them or see them, but rather feel them.
And feel them he did, for his back tensed for a moment, and then he looked at her over his shoulder, his hand clenching and unclenching as if unconsciously searching for hers.
Beside her, her mother watched their silent interactions without a word, her expression unreadable as she gently squeezed her daughter's hand and then moved to join Katsuhiko. Katsuhiko faced them a moment later and cleared his throat, his eyes hard, his face strangely serene but eerily expressionless.
"Keiko, your mother and I have discussed this situation at length and I have to say that while frankly I am very deeply, deeply disappointed in both of you, this is not the time for lecture. Instead, we have come to the decisions about how things are going to work from now on."
A quiet presence beside him, Seiko reached for his hand, and he grasped it gladly, outwardly stern and cold as stone, inside…inside he was falling apart. "First of all, there seems to be no question that you two have every intention of raising this child, is that correct?"
Both teenagers nodded, not daring to say a word.
"I thought so. However, for this to work, Seiko and I have come to several decisions that you will follow. There is no leeway in this. Number one, Keiko, you will still graduate from high school. I won't allow you to throw away your future." It went unspoken, of course, that Yusuke had never continued his schooling passed his final year of junior high.
Gently squeezing his hand, Seiko continued where he had left off. "We think its best you continue to attend school, Keiko. You won't start to show for a few more months at the most, but when that happens, we think you should be home-schooled, dear. That way you can still earn the credit and be able to return for your next year."
Katsuhiko nodded in agreement, and began again. "A child, children, is a great blessing, but also the greatest responsibility you will ever face. None of this is going to be even relatively easy. I'm warning you of that now. Seiko and I are prepared to help you every step of the way, any way we can."
"As for you, Yusuke, you need to understand something. I won't allow my daughter or this child out of my house until you prove to me that you can care for them."
"But Yukimura-san, the baby-"
"What do you have now to provide for them, Yusuke? Would you take my daughter away from the comfort and safety of her home when you have nothing?"
Yusuke grew silent, his mouth twisting into a frown, brow furrowing with the severity of the expression. "I know. I know I'm not good enough, Yukimura-san, but all I want is the chance. I want to give the best kind of future to Keiko and our child as I can. Please believe that."
Katsuhiko sighed, combing his fingers through graying brown hair, and leveled a thoughtful gaze in Yusuke's direction. "I did believe in you, Yusuke, as a good and honest young man. Now I understand you both have made a mistake, and you will pay for it, there's nothing we can do to stop that. But my trust in you is wavered, young man, in the both of you. Prove to me that you're ready for this, Yusuke."
Katsuhiko rose to his feet, set both hands down firmly against the table, palms down. "Those are my rules, and they will be abided by. Am I understood?"
"Yes, sir," The young couple answered in unison, soft-spoken whispers originating from suppressed frustration and guilty submission.
Katsuhiko bowed his head, nodding decisively. "Alright then. For now, Yusuke, I'd prefer that Keiko stay at home. You see her from time to time, but not too exuberantly. I want it understood that you are not yet welcome in my home."
As the older man looked up at him, Yusuke swallowed, unable to meet the elder's eye. "Hai, Yukimura-san. I understand."
As Katsuhiko left the room, Yusuke fell back into his chair, squeezing his eyes shut as he sharply exhaled, bracing his hands against his forehead. His mind swam with indecision and frustration, torn between outrage at his restrictions on seeing Keiko and his desire to prove himself to Katsuhiko. Why, why did he have to make it so hard? What was the point in making them suffer? Wasn't it enough that they would already pay for their mistakes?"
But still, he took a deep breath and calmed his rage, lapsing into a focus exercise long since taught to him by Genkai. Calm himself, take the anger, the guilt, the doubt, and push it all away. Push it deep down for future consideration, to the very core of him, away from the present awareness.
Focus on seeing the situation from an outside perspective, to think objectively, to quell his emotional reaction and respond with rationality. To look at their situation from Katsuhiko's point of view, attempting to understand the restriction put upon him. To understand the source of the strain and tension, to comtemplate the distance and rejection the older man affronted toward himself and Keiko.
It was hard to form logical thought when his heart was so full. Through the emotional haze, he felt an inkling of understanding, trying to imagine himself in Katsuhiko's position. Keiko was his best friend, his lover, his heart, but first and foremost, she was Katsuhiko's daughter. She was his flesh and blood, and his drive to protect and shelter must be profound.
Perhaps he had not the years of experience Katsuhiko had at his beck, but he was a soon-to-be father himself, and he felt some of that need, to protect from the outside world and all that sought to harm that precious child he called his own. Yusuke had proved himself to be such a threat.
Katsuhiko's eyes were clouded, his vision tunnel-like, focused on one conclusion: his seventeen-year-old daughter was unmarried and pregnant. Everything hoped and planned for her future had been jeopardized, and Yusuke was the one responsible for it all.
"Yusuke?"
He opened his eyes once more, blinking away unfocused vision to see Keiko standing before him, her expression hesitant and concerned. "Are you alright? You look like you're in pain."
He shook his head, managing a smile he hoped would reassure her. "No. I was just thinking."
She nodded, seeming hesitant as she gazed down at him. Her hazel eyes were wide and fearful, full of quelling emotions he was all too familiar with. His face softened with a small smile, and he held out his hand to her. As she ever so lightly placed her fingers over his open palm, he closed his hand around hers, grasping it in a tight but gentle grip.
He pressed his lips to the back of her hand, felt her return his light grip with slight trepidation. Trying to convey all he could through gesture and touch, he found himself struck by the same feeling of awe he had felt at first sight of this girl, this young woman, after their long time apart. The woman who had so long ago stolen his heart and took it was her own.
For she was his heart, no denying that, so profoundly in his soul, the epitome of everything that was love in his life. She was his future, his family. She was carrying the very beginning of that family nestled inside her.
"We'll be okay, Kei," he whispered fervently, closing his eyes as he willed himself to believe, deep down and completely, that they really would be. "I promise you that. Believe me, please."
She smiled softly, eyes brimming with unshed tears, as she rested her head against his shoulder, finally letting them fall as they trailed down cheeks of pallid pallor. "I'll try, Yusuke. I'll try."
xxx
hai: yes
