VII.

She's read about mothers who had gone through miscarriages, and loss of their unborn child, she's always thought those stories were exaggerated. She knew there was pain, and that pain was very real, but for how long could you mourn something you were never able to hold? That's why she never bothered to pay attention to any of those sob stories, they couldn't be that real.

Until now.

The pain was unbearable. She was lucky enough to be blessed with twins and had one still alive. She was so grateful for that. However, knowing her body was in the process of absorbing what was left of her second unborn child…it killed her. The pain was very, very real. She didn't blame anyone but herself for this loss. She shouldn't have trusted just anybody with her body. She should've searched up the words she didn't know before ingesting the pills, not only that, she kept taking them knowing they didn't even help. She was ignorant, and for that her child had to pay the price.

Yes, she was handing the children over to Sheldon and Amy, not so much anymore, but still they were her kids. She was four months and a half pregnant, and she felt them in her womb throughout it all. Now, she only felt the feet of only one. How would she even be able to tell the child that in the future? I killed your twin by accident, love you though!

She was a terrible mother and they weren't even born yet.

She spent a week in the hospital, the doctors were monitoring her heart rate and watching the surviving child's vitals as well. It took everything inside of her to not break down in front of her friends. It was only when they left for the night, she let herself cry. On the second night there, she was sobbing into her pillow when the door unexpectedly opened, and Sheldon had walked in holding a paper bag of food. He didn't say anything, he only placed the bag on the table, got into the bed with her, and held her until she stopped crying. Long forgotten was the Thai food.

After that night, he stayed overnight with her for the rest of the week. The same routine every time. She found the only way she could ever sleep peacefully, or as peaceful as she could get, was if she was crying and torturing herself over the loss of her child. Why should she be able to sleep peacefully and carry on peacefully, while her child died? It wasn't fair.

At the end of the week, Sheldon held her chin in his hand and forced an intense eye contact between them. All he said was, "Stop punishing yourself."

It took a few hours for her to finally let his words in, he was right. No matter how bad she felt, she still had a baby to protect and help grow. Crying constantly couldn't be healthy for it. So, they left the hospital in slightly better moods than they arrived.

She spent most of her time at 4A now, she even found herself falling asleep in Sheldon's room too, with him cuddling her protectively. Ever since the week in the hospital, and the near-death experience she had he had been attached to her a lot more than he used to be. She barely had time to breath, only while in the bathroom and even then, he made sure to keep one ear glued to the door. He refused to let her out of his sight. She noticed his roommate getting impatient with it as well, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

She twisted slightly in her seat, rather Sheldon's seat, her back had started hurting her a lot lately but she didn't feel like she deserved to whine about it. The doctor told her since the miscarriage she would experience some cramping as her body absorbed the tissue, whether in her back or her stomach, and it seemed like it was happening now. She would endure this because of what she did, what she caused. She sighed deeply as the front door opened.

"Penny…"

She nodded, "Leonard."

Her ex-boyfriend stood there awkwardly. This was one of those rare moments where he caught her without Sheldon hovering over her like a shadow, and he felt like he should seize it somehow. This was the moment he had been looking for since they had their double date three weeks ago. He looked at her, and his face fell slightly when he noticed she wasn't even paying attention to him, but rather had a look of discomfort on her face.

"Are you alright?"

She groaned, "No. I just have some cramps right now," she said, "In my back."

His face lit up, "If you would like, I can give you a friendly massage. Mother always used to say I had small feeble hands, maybe I could help you out?"

She gave him a side eye; she was obviously weary of him and he knew she had all the reason to be. Especially after what he did, but maybe he could find himself back in their good graces before they found out, if they ever did, and then they wouldn't be too angry at him.

"Fine. Just a quick one." She said as she scooted towards the edge of her seat. He smiled eagerly and made his way around the back of the couch, taking his satchel off and disposing it on the floor, he would hurry before she decided to change her mind.

He carefully placed his hands on her shoulders, the first time he was touching her since they dated so long ago, and he waited for her reaction. Once he realized she wasn't going to complain, he slowly moved his hands and added slight pressure. He would work his way down her shoulders blade, and towards her lower back, and up again.

He felt encouraged when he heard her let out a little moan. He smirked to himself, he knew Sheldon had never made her make those sounds before. For one, they never had sex. And though he knew they shared a bed now, he knew nothing romantic or sexual could be going on in there, Sheldon was asexual and had no deal. He let his thoughts wander as he thought about that. Now that Amy was on the lam, Sheldon would technically be a single father, and that is a less than ideal image to think of when it comes to the life of a young child. So, though he knew it was a long shot, maybe Penny would think of him as a viable candidate now?

He was about to speak when the door opened, and then slammed loudly. He looked up, and he couldn't help but smirk when he saw his roommates cloudy face as he stared at him and Penny. He knew what they were doing was innocent, but he loved the picture it painted in Sheldon's head.

It was Penny who pulled away from him first, and then she stood on wobbly feet, "Sheldon…" she smiled and waddled towards him. He held an arm out and gently pulled her towards him, "How was work?" She asked as he never once took his stormy eyes away from Leonard.

She tapped his chest, and he finally looked down at her, "Adequate. What's going on?"

She shrugged as if it were no big deal, "My back was hurting me, really badly, and Leonard came home and offered to give me a backrub."

He went back and shot his roommate a look, "I bet he did."

Leonard than spoke up, feeling like if he poked the sleeping bear enough that it would blow up in his roommates face and everything would go better for him, "Hey, the lady was in pain. Who am I to leave a damsel in distress? I was practically her Knight in Shining Armor."

The taller scientist only narrowed his eyes, "Be reasonable Leonard, if anything you were one of the seven dwarves, let's see…" he trailed off sarcastically, "Frumpy?"

The two roommates squared off with each other, both obviously displeased about the other's presence being around. The blonde female sighed, knowing a weird science version of a piss contest was about to start so she just held Sheldon's hand, and although he was glaring at his roommate, his fingers instinctively curled around her own. "Come Sheldon, my back still hurts you can finish the massage, I think I have some oils in my apartment," she went to pull him out of 4A, not missing the disbelieving look on Leonard's face.

"Wait," Sheldon said once out of his reverie, "I got a hold of Amy Farrah Fowler," his voice was thick with bitterness.

The room went silent, even Leonard was shocked.

"What happened?"

"She called me from an unrecognizable number. She was crying and apologizing profusely for what she had done, she asked to meet me and explain her side of things," it was the first time she saw him roll his eyes, "I stopped her, told her I will get Howard to trace her phone call and bring it to the authorities if she didn't come to the apartment and explain to everybody including yourself, Penny, why she did what she did," he nodded assuredly, "I called Koothrappali, Wolowitz, and Bernadette on my way home. Everyone should be here in a few minutes," he stated calmly.

She was unsure of what to even say. She knew she wanted to speak to Amy eventually, but a week later? Was this too soon? Would she even be able to control herself when she saw the brunette? She sighed, and then there was a knock on the door, she figured she didn't have time to figure it out.

It wasn't much longer the entire group was sat in the living room of 4A. Amy stood ashamedly by the front door while the rest of the group separated themselves from her, all disgusted by her behaviour. The protective hold Sheldon had on Penny didn't go unnoticed by anyone. Though, they all decided to not acknowledge it, there were bigger fish to fry. Even Leonard found himself not being able to focus on Penny and Sheldon, he was too consumed with the anger he felt for Amy to even think about pursuing Penny.

"I…"

Sheldon shushed the brunette up with a hand, "No. You don't speak yet. I'm sure Penny has questions to ask you, you'll wait for her to ask and then you respond. That's it."

"I called you to explain my side, Sheldon. Not to be interrogated."

The taller man gave her a look that could've killed, and she instantly fell silent. Everyone watched in curiosity as he softened when he fell back beside Penny, his hard glare still on the brunette.

"Why, Amy?"

"Why what?"

She glared at the friend she once had, "Why did you want to kill my babies?" She spat out bitterly.

Something in Amy snapped, and she let out a humorless cackle, "Your babies? Listen to you, this wasn't ever about you, Penny. Sheldon and I came to you for us, you were nothing more than a human incubator because I couldn't have children. These were never your children, they just had your DNA," the viciousness in her tone was unbearable, "You were never really going to be their mother, Penny. Do you think you could stop drinking long enough to even take care of them?" She laughed.

Howard stood to his feet, "That's enough, Amy, what you did was completely out of line and I don't know about anyone else but I'm pretty sure I speak for us all when I say I won't hesitate to call the police on you."

Amy glared at Howard, unmoved by his threat, "For what? You have no proof of anything, no confession, no paper trace," she smirked, "You can't implicate me, and that sucks doesn't it?"

She scorned brunette watched as Sheldon rubbed Penny's arms comfortingly, eyes narrowed, she pointed accusingly at the two, "This is why I did what I did. Sheldon look at you! You always had an issue with physical contact when it came to me, but when it came to Little Miss Sunshine, you were always eager for her touches. You prefer her over me, and as your girlfriend that hurt. I was hurt, Sheldon! I felt like my own boyfriend didn't want me. First my family, then my boyfriend, and then we were supposed to have her children? I know she was your first suggestion. You acted as if she wasn't, but I know she was the only person you had in mind to bare your children, and it made me sick to my stomach every day I thought about it. But I went along with it because this was a big step and getting you to take it was miraculous. Now, I regret it every single day," she trailed off as she shook her head, "I saw no way out, except one…"

Sheldon glared at her, "I am not your boyfriend, Amy, as if that wasn't clear enough. You terminated our relationship the moment you poisoned, Penny," he seethed, "And you're right. I rather Penny's touch because yours was cold and manipulating."

Amy let his words roll off her back, "This is why I did what I did," she repeated as if it justified her actions.

"This is why you set out to murder the children you wanted in the first place?"

The brunette shook her head, "I never meant to hurt the kids, I meant to hurt you," she smiled at Penny, "That's why I used peanuts. In lieu of your allergy, I thought best to use it against you. No, the initial thought wasn't murder and it took a long time for me to even come to that conclusion. Yes, I felt like you betrayed me, Penny, you and Sheldon, but you were my best friend and I loved you. However, it was just a lot of rage and jealousy that made me so angry I thought to up the dosage of the peanut pills, and let it do its job."

Penny felt like she couldn't breathe. Amy, the female she trusted, set out to harm her and she said it with pride. She buried her face into Sheldon's chest and felt the sobs wrack her body.

"I think it's time for you to leave, Amy," Raj and Bernadette stood to their feet, shielding her from Amy's view. Amy only rolled her eyes, "If you're kicking me out, you might as well kick Leonard out."

"What?" Sheldon's voice was curt, and he glanced at Leonard sharply.

Leonard looked away, he thought if he stayed silent the entire time no one would remember him, and Amy would forget. He guessed wrong. "Yeah, he was the one who gave me the idea."

"What?!"

She nodded, "Don't you remember? The night of our double date? When we were walking up the stairs, you two were lagging behind, as usual too preoccupied with each other to notice your dates. Leonard and I were so upset at you two for not paying attention to us that night, even though it had been both of you who asked us out. I may not have an eidetic memory, but I'm sure he said something along the lines of 'I wish there was a way to separate them forever.' That's when half the idea came to me." She nodded.

"That doesn't implicate him at all," Howard stated, "It's just his jealousy speaking."

"Oh, but doesn't it? I asked him what he meant, and he went on to say, 'I just feel like if I can't have Penny, no one should get her. She's mine. And it's either me or death,' then he went on about ways he would end her life if she chose to leave him or rejected him again. Sure, they were probably rambles, but I heard him mention her allergy, that's when the idea was fully born. I felt the same way about Sheldon, it's me or death, and my heart couldn't bear to murder Sheldon, so I chose the target of his affection."

It took everything in Penny not to lunge at Amy. She wanted to hogtie her so badly, but all she could think about was the one child in her stomach and how she would do anything to protect it. She wouldn't risk its safety just to pummel Amy, she wasn't worth it.

That's what she'd keep telling herself, anyways.

"You're sick, Amy," Bernadette stated, "And just because I couldn't stand what you did to our friend, someone who was once your friend too, I recorded this entire conversation," She stated confidently, "And don't even think about trying to destroy it. All my recordings go straight to Howie's hard drive at home, so there are backups," she was pissed.

"You're going to jail, Amy, where you belong," Raj agreed.

Amy's face never fell, but you could see the fear in her eyes if you looked hard enough.

Penny stood to her feet and walked towards Amy, she looked the brunette in the eyes and saw nothing but sadness and loneliness. It broke her heart at how pathetic and lost the neurobiologist was. She shook her head at the permanent scowl painted on her face and side stepped her, she opened the door to 4A, "Here's a head start."

Amy didn't ask twice about what she meant when she said that, it was obvious. She knew it was pointless to run, the cops would find her, but she was damned if she would let them find her without a fight.

Penny slammed the door closed behind her and locked it with the deadbolt.


I know I shouldn't, but I'm about to publish a new Shenny story. I'm trying to get all my Shenny ideas out now, cause I start a new full-time job next month and I won't have time for Fanfiction like I do now.