Another update for you all! Getting even further into the nitty-gritty of Regina's fear now. Hope you enjoy! And please leave a review, love hearing what you all think!


Regina had left Robin's suite with a heavy heart after finding that she couldn't quite bring herself to fully articulate her fear. The reason, in part, being that Robin is indeed engaged. And the resulting disheartened look upon her face, no matter how hard the brunette tries to keep hidden, does not go unnoticed by the perceptive Emma Swan who waits eagerly for her arrival.

"I take it that it didn't went well," Emma remarks, deflating slightly as she watches her somber friend return to her seat.

"I mean, nothing really happened," Regina replies with a shrug and a forced look of indifference written across her features.

"Well, 'nothing' doesn't seem to be exactly a good thing in this case, by the looks of it."

Regina shakes her head, ignoring her friend as she turns towards the appetizer, a garden salad and loaf of bread, which is placed on her tray. She picks up her fork, stabbing a tomato with more force than necessary to complete the task. Out of the corner of her eye she can see the blurry image of her best friend shaking her head.

"Come on, Regina," Emma pries, "What is it? You gave him the book back. Did you tell him why at least?"

Regina turns abruptly towards the blonde, large chocolate eyes flashing. "He's engaged," she confesses with a sneer, "You've got your answer, Ms. Swan."

Emma's brows lift as she leans back against her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. "So that's what this is about."

"Why do you do this to me?", Regina questions, shaking her head irritably, "You give me all these pep talks about hope and moving on and look what happens. I end up feeling worse than I did before."

"Hey, you're the person who decided to bring the book back in the first place, not me," Emma states defensively.

"You know what I mean, Emma," Regina replies exasperatedly.

"Oh so you do listen to what I say," Emma says, raising her brows, a small smile of triumph pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"That's beside the point," Regina states, "The point is that Robin is married, or I mean going to be married, and that's it." She closes her eyes, sighing softly. "He gets his wife, I get my misery."

"You're always so melodramatic," Emma chastises lightly.

"You make what happened seem like something so petty."

"No. I'm just trying to make it seem like something that doesn't mean the coming of the apocalypse," Emma corrects. "Robin was a nice try. Now you know."

"You are real good at comfort," Regina says, pushing a forkful of salad from her otherwise untouched first course.

"You will find someone, Regina," Emma reassures, "He's out there somewhere."

Regina shakes her head. "I'm not even looking for anyone. Which brings me to another question as to why this is even a topic of discussion."

"Because that man clearly has had an effect on you," Emma answers, "Don't deny it."

"Regina, I really like this guy," Emma remarks, "He's so nice!"

"Nice?", Regina scoffs, "You meet the first boyfriend I've ever had and all you can say is 'nice'?"

Emma shrugs. "What? He is. He's just so polite and I can definitely tell he is into you. You absolutely can't deny it."

"Well of course," Regina says with a smirk, "Why wouldn't he be?" The blonde laughs.

For Regina it had been quite a stretch to finally allow Emma to meet Daniel. After just having cleared Emma's case a month ago, the two have not had the best of times trying to see eye to eye on various matters. However as a sort of way to step forward, Emma as well as Daniel saw the encounter as something to be of benefit for the two young women. So the two met.

It was a quaint little gathering at a nearby coffee shop. There were smiling faces, warm hugs and handshakes, warm coffee all around. It all came as a surprise to Regina, how well everything turned out to be. It warmed her heart like she wouldn't imagine, not only to let Emma into her affairs a little more but also to finally be able to share the news of her relationship with someone else. After all, keeping a secret did prove to be quite the heavy burden. And with this encounter, Regina felt as if a part of that burden was somehow lifted.

"I can't believe you got this one to finally crack," Emma had joked, causing Regina's cheeks to turn a rosy color.

"Lots of love, lots of time," Daniel answered graciously, turning towards the reddened brunette with a kind smirk.

Regina shakes her head fondly at the memory. And she's so glad she did, "crack" as Emma had so eloquently explained.

"So are you going to tell Cora?", Emma now inquires, "You've been at this, what? For like almost a year. It's almost graduation."

Regina sighs, hating that Emma has to bring up the elephant in the room. She shakes her head. "No," Regina groans, "You know I can't."

"But you even said it yourself. Your mother might understand. 'She has her moments'. That's how you put it."

"I know, but—"

"We were able to finally make her understand with me."

"Emma, I know but that's different. We're talking about a boy here. And Daniel and I aren't going to break up. I can feel it, Emma." Regina smiles softly, stepping closer to the wide-eyed blonde. "He's the one."

"Regina…," Emma whispers, "You don't mean…"

"Yes I do," Regina says softly. And raising her hand to the silver chain around her neck, she reveals, from underneath her t-shirt, a small diamond ring through which the chain is threaded. The brunette's smile widens.

"Regina, oh my God," Emma breathes, bending closer to get a better glimpse at that ring. "You've got to be kidding me. He—he proposed to you?!"

"It's a promise ring," Regina explains, turning the ring in her fingers, "Of course not now. We are far too young. But—" She beams at her friend. "—But we will. In the future."

"Regina, I don't know what to say," Emma whispers. She shakes her head, looking into wide brown eyes so full of light and excitement. They are truly a change from what they used to be when the two first met in the penitentiary. No longer are they full of loneliness. "Why do you trust me with all this information? I could easily—"

"But you won't," Regina says, "Emma, I know we've had our fights but always with you, I've felt like I can tell anything. I know you'll keep my secret."

Emma smiles gently at her new best friend, her own eyes shining. "I promise," Emma whispers with a firm nod. "You're secret safe with me."

Regina continues on with her dinner, the New York sirloin practically melting on her tongue. It helps take the edge off her hunger, but fails to do the same with her somber mood. It frustrates her to no end that she feels like this. This is exactly why she doesn't wish to even try with such capricious pursuits, which turn out to be nothing but empty.

She shoves the last piece of steak past her lips before handing the tray to a passing attendant, refusing dessert. Instead, she shifts the back of her seat into its horizontal position, kicks off her shoes, and lies down; not able to help but have her thoughts wander back to Robin. So many unanswered questions, that she wishes don't, plague her mind. The man is engaged. However he doesn't seem to be happy. From a lawyer's point of view, this would constitute in a two to six month marriage, a quick yet messy divorce, and loads of unwanted paperwork. It saddens Regina to no end that this could very much be Robin's future if he chooses to go through with this. How could something so painful happen to a good man such as he? The man deserves so much more, something that Regina would be more than willing to offer. But cannot. Her heart is broken. She is not ready. Perhaps she will never be ready. She's afraid, afraid to be alone once again, afraid to have an even deeper hole within her heart than from the start. And with what Robin had offered, the hope and light he had offered in such a book of beautiful, well-written poems, it was just far too much. Regina just can't let herself be sucked in once again. She can't allow herself to grow a fondness for the man behind the words, for an emotion such as that is sure to turn into something more, something now of which to be feared.

Her mind wanders back to Daniel, the only era in her short life when everything just seemed to fall into place.

It's true what Daniel had said. All it took was lots of love, lots of time. They spent the better part of their afternoons together; studying, reading, watching movies, going for walks on the narrow paths through the dimly lit forest behind her mansion, all unbeknownst to her mother. Little by little Regina found herself opening slowly to the possibility of commitment, of love. And for the first time in what feels like forever, Regina felt whole again. She felt happy. She felt as if she had a purpose, something for which she could now live aside from, something different from the burden of her mother's expectations that have been lying heavily across her shoulders. Yet even with such pressure, Daniel was able to offer his help more than Regina had ever imagined, teaching her better ways to study, better techniques to use to ace exams, to be the best student she could possibly be.

With a few extra hours each day, and more than a few pep talks, Regina became top of her class by graduation, the pride and joy of her mother and boyfriend. The ceremony was extraordinary. The young brunette couldn't have felt any lighter that day. Everything just seemed to have fallen into place. A full scholarship to Harvard, and the valedictorian of her class, Regina became the woman her mother always wanted, but also the girl Daniel always knew she could be. Strong-willed and independent yet soft and compassionate, Regina had her eggs within her basket, and the one she loves by her side. Striding up to the podium, head held proudly, she began her speech. Speaking beautifully as always, she captured the audience, entrancing them with her profound and powerful words of good will to the future, a bright speech filled with optimism, with hope. Her brown eyes were alight that day, shining forth their spirit as the crowd stood with a round of applause.

Regina accepted her certificate with all the grace and beauty of a well-cultured student, one her way to an inevitable path of success. She threw her cap with all her might, and amidst the rain of surrounding caps, kissed the love of her life and thanked him for saving her.

So here Regina sits, heart bursting with joy as she gazes back at the boy who sits with her upon the swing, which he had built in celebration of graduation. It's a beautiful swing, one that Regina had requested they have each time they walked past that beautiful hidden river amongst the trees of the forest. The tree was large, its branches sturdy. It was perfect. This is perfect. It's everything she'd ever wanted.

"I love you," Regina whispers, wonder filling her starry eyes as she cups Daniel's chin. Daniel smiles back at her, eyes penetrating hers with love and affection.

"Do you like the swing?", he asks.

"Do you have to even ask?", Regina laughs softly, "It's beautiful. How did you get the wood to be so smooth?"

"Lots of love and lots of time," is the answer and Regina blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you for everything, Daniel," Regina says, "Really. Thank you."

"There's no need," Daniel replies with a shake of his head. "It was all you."

"No it wasn't," Regina disagrees, "It was you. You opened my heart. You taught me how to be open to the possibility of letting go, how to love."

"I don't understand," Daniel says, frowning slightly, "I don't believe for one minute that you were as unfeeling, as closed off at you say you were before. Sure you may have seemed shy but…"

"No," Regina whispers, "I was…empty." She sighs softly. "Coldness was all I'd ever known. My mother was never a warm person. She never accepted any friends I even tried having. The more she turned them away, the more she shunned them, the more friends I lost. I soon ended up with no one. Quickly I just learned that being solitary was what I was meant to be. I became an outcast in school. You saw. Everyone laughed at me. My mother always told me that having someone to care for is weakness, is a distraction." Regina gazes into his gray eyes softly. "That's why I'm so afraid of telling her," she states, "I don't want to lose you too. I can't lose you. You are my savior. You saved me from my loneliness."

That night was the happiest Regina had ever been. She remembers it all. The cool summer breeze. The feeling of his soft, soft lips upon hers. His taste. The warmth of his embrace. The look of adoration in his eyes, as if she was the only thing that mattered in his universe. Where did it all go? How could it have gone? Daniel. Her heart aches for him once more. Her soul cries out to be loved just like that once more, but at the same time is afraid to crack, to let those walls down once again.

So Regina finds herself in a light yet fitful slumber. Her shoulders shake softly as she cries in her sleep, unbeknownst to anyone around her. Small tears slide down the smoothness of her skin and collect in a pool, a small circle of dampness on the leather underneath. Her mind is in pieces, her chest physically aching. Regina is so deep into her dream that she doesn't realize a gentle hand upon her shoulder, shaking her softly.

"Regina," a gentle voice calls to her in a hushed whisper. Regina's eyes fly open as she startles awake. She lifts her head to see a pair of familiar eyes staring straight back at her, eyes full of concern.

"Are you all right, milady?", Robin asks gently, placing tender hand upon the small of the brunette's back as she sits up, wiping her eyes.

"I—I'm fine," Regina stammers, embarrassed that he had to see her this way. She looks up at him, her brown eyes wrought with pain and confusion. "Why are you here?"

"Forgive me but I was passing by. I heard you and decided it best to check and see if you are all right," Robin explains, "I'm sorry to have startled you."

Regina shakes her head. "It's of no matter. Thank you."

"That's quite the dream you seem to have had there," Robin comments softly before glancing towards the edge of her seat. "May I?" Regina nods, shifting over some to allow for the man to perch on the edge of her seat. "Do you want to talk about it?", he asks, his hand still placed upon the small of the woman's back.

Regina shakes her head once more, shrugging hopelessly. "What's there to talk about?", she mutters. "A dream is just a dream," she adds sadly.


Hope you enjoyed reading! Note that many of these flashbacks will refer to previous flashbacks...it's all connected ;) Don't forget to please write a review on your way out, and I thank you so much for those written so far! They mean lots! More to come soon so stay tuned!