He liked the feeling of sweat rolling down the side of his face because he earned it. He was sweating as proof of his hard work. Running was always his favourite hobby and now it was his favourite distraction. Whenever he can't think things through, he would run uphill until all that was in his head was the acid building in his limbs.

Today, the sun was glaring at him. Even if he closed his eyes, he could see the light. It was like honey, sticky and warm. It was like her eyes. It was like she was still watching him from wherever she was.

He groaned as he halted to a stop. This wasn't going to work.

He had run around the campus three times – at least. He still wasn't tired; he wanted to do more. Maybe he should stop by the gym and lift weights. That always strained his muscles.

"Syo!"

He turned to see Otoya and Cecil dashing towards him. They were heaving from running so fast that Syo almost wanted to laugh. But the two of them had such serious expressions on their face that Syo began to get worried. What could happen that could make the situation worse?

"What's wrong?" he asked, the moment they bent over to fill their lungs.

"We… We're going…" Otoya started, heaving.

"To find… Haruka," Cecil finished, looking straight into Syo's eyes. "Help us get the others. We're going to search for her."

"But Masato said it's best if –"

"We're going," Cecil repeated, "No matter what."

Syo swallowed.

It was tempting to act all enthusiastic about joining them but there was a creeping voice inside telling him not to. It was telling him this was no good. He would only bother Haruka. He wasn't even strong enough to support her. It would be likely his fault that Haruka won't write. He was better staying here, working out like he did.

"Come with us," Otoya urged, grabbing his hand.

Syo wrenched it back. "I don't –"

"Syo," Otoya exasperated, "Every time we faced a challenge Haruka stuck by our side: Saotome Academy, Shining Agency, the Master course, Utapri awards, the Triple S. We have to do everything the same way we usually do – together."

He stared at Otoya, impressed by his resolve.

He wished he could be like him. He wished he was determined to solve their problems. But he wasn't. He was pessimistic about the entire thing. But it felt wrong to decline after what Otoya said. After all that she'd done, Syo couldn't just abandon her. He would never dream of it. (Plus, it was impossible to say no to Otoya when he gave those puppy eyes. He was too earnest.)

"Alright, alright," Syo sighed in defeat, "I'll get the others. Meet you in the living area then."

Otoya burst into a massive grin and hugged him. Syo felt crushed. The man had no boundaries.

"Thank you, Syo!"

"No bother," he muttered.

Otoya quickly released him, ready to jump up and down. "Alright! Now I'm feeling optimistic."

Syo couldn't help but chuckle. Wasn't he always optimistic?

"Let's split up then. I'll call Tokiya and track down Ren."

"I'll find Masato," Cecil replied.

"So I just have to get Natsuki."

Then they disappeared as quickly as they'd come. But Syo felt slightly better. At least he could focus on doing something now. Nothing he did was going to stop them from finding Haruka. He might as well help, even with guilt tearing at him.

"Syo-kun, here," Haruka offered him a towel, "You've worked really hard."

"Thanks," he smiled at her. As much as he enjoyed a long workout, he didn't want Haruka to come so close. He must reek. "How come you're over here? Are you going to the gym?"

He looked her up and down. She was wearing one of those floral dresses that always suited her.

Haruka shook her head, "No, no. I was just walking about. I wanted to get… new ideas."

Syo nodded in understanding. As large as the campus was, sometimes it felt claustrophobic. Luckily, their jobs always took them out and about.

"You know if you want a really cool strong image, you can just look at Hyuuga-sensei," he grinned, "You should totally write a song about him! Wait, no. That would be weird. Maybe write one dedicated to him? Hm. This is difficult. I have no idea how to help."

Haruka gave a little laugh. "Yes, it is hard at times."

"You do it so well and so naturally," Syo sighed, chugging his water. He completely missed the desolate expression that marred her face.

"Syo-kun, isn't it difficult to keep up a strong persona when others look at you differently? Do you ever just feel like taking a break from it?"

Syo turned to her.

Haruka was staring over the campus, over the dormitories with a foggy look. And although Syo had decided he wasn't going to come close, he had to hold her hand. It seemed like she was about to float away.

"Sometimes," he answered honestly, "But then I remember that I'm making people smile and I forget about giving up. Plus, it's not in my image to give up. It's who I am."

Haruka nodded in agreement, "Syo-kun, you are very strong."

He blushed furiously and slipped his hand away. What was with this tension? It was so… intimate. Haruka was looking at him with those eyes –

"So are you," he managed to blubber out. Mentally, he was kicking himself. That was the perfect opportunity and all he could do was throw the compliment back. It was such a wasted opportunity.

"No, not really," Haruka answered quietly, "I can't help anyone the way I am."

"That's what everybody thinks," Syo countered quickly, "I thought that for the longest time. I thought I would never be able to be like Hyuuga-sensei. But you were the one that helped me get over that, Nanami."

She gave him a grateful smile.

"That was a long time ago. Now you're so far ahead."

"I think we both are."

Nanami shook her head. "No, you're all very far ahead."

Thinking back, Haruka must have been struggling to write then. But she was always jotting things down on her notebook or fiddling with the piano. She was always doing something.

Syo understood that though. When you felt down, you might force yourself to be active. But it could make things worse. He had once trained until he couldn't move the next day and he lay there, feeling awful.

Speaking of awful…

"Natsuki, are you… baking?" Syo choked out, trying to ignore the stench. This time it smelt slightly fishy but it was coming from the oven. A colourful puff.

"Ah, Syo-chan. Yup," Natsuki smiled back softly, "For Haru-chan."

Syo's breath hitched. Even Natsuki.

Was he the only one feeling this way? Like there was an animal clawing him up every time he remembered Haruka. If he saw her now, he was sure it would eat him alive.

"Syo-chan?"

"Oh yeah. Otoya wants us all to meet and find Nanami. Something about working together," he droned on, hating the lifelessness of his voice. It felt like he was talking through a puppet.

"That's a great idea! I was just thinking of looking for Haruka after I finished this cake. What do you think? Syo-chan?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Syo?"

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Sure, yeah."

Natsuki narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied instinctively. The disappointed look in Natsuki's eyes immediately defeated him though. He hated it when his childhood friend did that. It was worse than saying: Syo, you're a weakling.

"I don't deserve to face her like this. I can't even face myself," he confessed, "I couldn't even help her when she was practically asking for help. How am I supposed to help her now? What would I even do? I don't know what's wrong."

Natsuki smiled sympathetically.

"Syo-chan, we all feel that way. I'm sure of it. I think that's why Otoyan wants us to put our heads together. We always face these things together. We can fix our mistakes together."

He recalled Otoya saying something similar. Something about being together. Syo couldn't doubt that with Starish, he felt more confident than ever. It brought something out of him. And although Haruka wasn't a member, she was Starish – in more ways than a composer.

"Don't you want to support her?"

"I do."

"Then let's go find her and see what we can do. If she tells us to go, then we'll keep our word."

"You're… you're right. I'm overthinking this too much. I just feel so guilty –"

"But we have to put Haruka first," Natsuki reassured him, "We all have to put her first."

Just Haruka. The Haruka that believed Syo could be the manniest figure ever. The Haruka that reached out for him when he had fallen so low as to dress up as a girl.

"Okay."

"Let's go then. Oh no, the cake still needs about fifteen minutes to rest. It's a rainbow chiffon. Don't you think it's cute?"

Cute was definitely not what Syo had in mind. The damn thing was bubbling and gurgling – or was that just his stomach? He forced himself to swallow and look away.

"Let's go now. We can't lose time. We need to find Haruka."

Although he felt reassured and determined to become Haruka's support, he could not stop thinking about her reaction. Would she not need him anymore?

But until she said it to him, he would try to be worthy.


Awwww guys.

I was rolling around in my bed over the reviews. I'm not kidding. My sister told me to stop grinning like an idiot because I looked creepy.

AkariShoko, Miss171, Sally Sanchez, moonalice - if you're reading this, thank you so much for the support. You're all too kind. I cannot emphasise how much your reviews meant to me. I'm overjoyed that you enjoy this fic so this chapter is dedicated to you guys. I will try to be worthy of your compliments! Your words encouraged me to write and because of that, I'm almost done with the final chapter too! And you silent readers, thanks for patiently waiting for my updates. You all know who's next... Masato!