Chapter Seven
So Much More
"So that's it?" Maxie asked incredulously. "Don't love me? Love yourself? Can I just say that I am so happy you finally signed those divorce papers? You deserve so much better than Johnny Zacchara, Lu."
Lulu sighed and continued to pluck all of the shiny ornaments off her dying Christmas tree and gently placed them back into the appropriate boxes. She did deserve so much better than Johnny. She deserved someone who wasn't afraid to love her. Someone who said to hell with the danger and someone who thought she was worth it. That someone was definitely not her husband.
"I know," Lulu agreed. "I'm so disgusted with myself, Maxie."
"Why?"
"I kissed him back thinking 'oh he loves me'! And he doesn't. I was so stupid to think otherwise."
"No," Maxie disagreed. "You were hoping for a reunion. You were a little to trusting about the whole thing, sure. However, you were not stupid. That is one thing Lulu Spencer is definitely not."
Maxie took the stockings off their hooks above the fireplace and pursed her lips together. "Can I say something? You're totally going to get offended or freak out or whatever, but I just want to tell you how I'm seeing this whole situation."
"Shoot for it and I promise not to go all 'whatever' on you," Lulu teased.
"Okay. I just think you should take a look on Johnny's side. I mean I get where you're coming from, but I also get where Johnny is coming from."
"What?" Lulu asked whirling around. "Since when?"
"Since you explained all about those psycho people who want to kill you. Lulu, he's
protecting you, because he loves you."
"So you're on his side?"
"You know I'm always on the annoying blonde side," Maxie said with a smirk. "All I'm saying is that Johnny does love you, but he just wants to be all dark and brooding about it. Sonny and Jason do it too. I think it's just like a mob thing."
"You'll never change will you?" Lulu asked smiling.
"I'm sorry; I left all of my telepathic abilities at home. Explain please."
"You're going to be thirty years old in a couple years-"
"Hey! Hey! You're right behind me, okay?"
"And yet you still act like you're that badass Maxie Jones who doesn't take any crap."
"I still am badass. And I still don't take crap. I've changed here and there. I'm friends with you aren't I? And brownie points to you for smoothly changing the subject. To bad I'm the inventor of the subject changing. Now, would you like more of my sage advice?"
"I could say no," Lulu told her. "But you'd still end up speaking."
Maxie narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "If you're not going to take me seriously, then fine- I've got better places to be. Like a cozy couch with a hot man named Cooper on it."
Lulu rolled her eyes and grabbed a hold of Maxie's arm. "Please bless me with your sage advice wise one. I'm in desperate need of guidance."
"That still sounds like you're patronizing me, but I'll still give it to you." Maxie unfolded her arms and grasped Lulu's hands into her own.
"Hate Johnny Zacchara all you want. I'll hate him with you. Not just because it's my duty as your best friend, but because I really do hate what he's done to you. He's made you doubt yourself, Lulu. You don't think you're worthy of anything anymore. And that truly terrifies me. You're this smart, spunky, hot mama who has so much to offer this crazy world. And Johnny doesn't want it. Not because he doesn't love you, but because it could kill you. Johnny Z is more stubborn than you are. He's never going to give in and come back to you. He's going to keep you and Nate alive and happy. Maybe it's time that you're happy with someone else."
Maxie released her friend's hands, grabbed her jacket and purse and exited the warm house.
"Well," Lulu spoke softly to herself. "She knows how to make an exit after a very moving speech."
She would hate to admit it to Maxie's face, but she was right. Lulu had done nothing but moon over Johnny and it was about time she got over it.
Where else was she going to go to forget all her problems? Jake's of course. There was no other place in Port Charles that could take your problems and kick them to the curb for as long as you needed. Well, as long as you stayed inside the four walls of comfort.
Lulu sat at the bar of Jakes' and downed the rest of her beer. She relished in the fact that there was no one to bother her and no way she could possibly run into Johnny here. This was one place that he never cared for. The MetroCourt had always been his choice to drown his sorrows.
"Lulu?"
Lulu groaned in response. She didn't want to be found! She wanted to be alone without all the pity looks and 'advice'.
"Lulu Spencer?"
Lulu turned around in her seat and she would bet pretty big bucks that her jaw had dropped straight through the ground.
"Logan?"
Well this was just her luck. Try to avoid an ex-husband and get an ex-boyfriend instead.
"Wow, Lulu. It's great to see you!"
"Yeah. It's been awhile hasn't it?"
She was genuinely surprised that he looked happy to see her. The last time she had seen Logan his face was red and he was hitting leaving town with nothing but anger and frustration towards Lulu. She knew that she hadn't treated Logan right and really owed him an apology. She also knew she could have let him know that she was head over heals for another man in a better way than she had.
"I don't know why you look so shocked. Scott told me he told you I was coming back."
"No," Lulu disagreed. "He said you were thinking about coming back. There's a difference."
"So how've you been?" Logan asked.
"Besides getting a divorce and drowning my sorrows at Jake's? Fabulous. You?"
"Better since I heard you and Zacchara aren't together anymore. He was only ever going to get you hurt Lulu. I'm just glad he realized it. Sooner would have been better."
"So you heard?"
"About you getting shot? Yep. My dad called me straight away telling me I had to get down here and save you from yourself. I told him I tried already and all it did was push you towards Zacchara."
"Don't give yourself too much credit. It was all me. You didn't do anything wrong Logan. Well besides the whole bet thing. After that, you didn't do anything wrong. I was selfish about the whole situation and you deserved better."
"You were better," Logan told her. Lulu gave him a good long look. He looked a lot like he did the first time she had met him in Sonny's coffeehouse. He was a lot cockier and bossier back then. It was good that some things had changed for the better.
"Don't you know better, Baldwin?" Lulu asked leaning on her elbows. "Flattery gets you nowhere with this Spencer girl."
Logan laughed. "You really haven't changed much, Lulu. I'm glad he didn't kill all that fire and spunk in you."
"What?"
"Spunk. That's how Maxie described me today."
"Maxie? You talk to her?"
Lulu smirked. "We talk everyday. Best friends have the habit of doing that."
Lulu held a bubble of laughter that threatened to erupt as he choked on his beer.
"You and Maxie? Best friends?" Logan asked disbelievingly.
"You heard right."
"Wow. That's something I wouldn't have guessed in a million years."
"Cooper said the same thing."
"Well good to know I'm not crazy and remember the Maxie/Lulu Feud correctly."
"It still takes me by surprise too."
There was nothing wrong with having a friendly conversation with an old boyfriend. And yet she couldn't kill that little feeling of guilt that resided in the bottom of her tummy. She should not be the one feeling guilty. If anyone should have their conscience kick in, it should be Johnny's. He was the one who left her. Not the other way around.
It's so much more than that and you know it.
Oh how Lulu hated the inner workings of her mind.
"Kill her," a woman ordered. Her associate could see the steam flying from her ears. "I don't care how you do it. Just do it."
"When?" the associate asked.
"I want little Nathan Zacchara motherless on this Wednesday night. 8:30 on the dot."
"Why so specific?"
"Because I want my little Johnny to watch. He broke the rules of our agreement and now he has to pay the price."
A/N: Agreement? So maybe Johnny didn't tell Lulu everything . . .
