The loss of Innocents

.7.

The small bedroom had fallen into darkness long before Adrien started to stir. Buried under his blankets, he kept his eyes closed tight as he listened to the rain on the roof. His mind was anywhere but here, and he couldn't shake the growing guilt that was twisting around his stomach.

As thunder rumbled over the city, Adrien thought back to the first time Marinette had acknowledged him on the steps of their old school. It had been a simple gesture... it was raining and she didn't have an umbrella. When he'd looked into her blue eyes he found a familiarity that he couldn't place and when his hand brushed hers his heart started to race. He was already head over heels in love with Ladybug, so he'd ignored it and put it down to teenage hormones. Little did he know that he'd just met the girl behind the mask.

A thousand thoughts were running through Adrien's pounding head and he didn't know how he felt about anything anymore.

Marinette has been through hell because of him, the guilt was unbearable, and he hated himself for all the awful things he'd said to her.

Before she left he knew she was suffering and all he wanted was to be her shoulder to cry on… her rock… her anything as long as they were together, but she left him, no good bye or explanation and he couldn't understand why, until now.

Would he have done the same thing to save her if he thought she was in danger? Without a doubt, even if it had killed him to leave her there was no way he would have knowingly put her in harm's way.

Deciding he didn't want to waste any more time, Adrien freed himself from the tangled blankets and sat up. Feeling completely disorientated, he looked around his dark room wondering how the hell he'd made it from the roof top to his bed. The room started to sway forcing him to lie back down, curling up on his side he pulled the blankets over his face again and waiting for it to pass.

"Hey kid, how you feeling?" Plagg asked from his perch on Adrien's bedhead. He'd been keeping a close eye on his troubled charge for the last twelve hours after a worried Tikki told him about the memory she'd shown him.

"Leave me alone Plagg." Adrien grumbled from under the blankets.

Plagg knew exactly what that information was going to do to Adrien. He'd watched every break down and witnessed all the fallouts from Adrien's reckless decisions over the last eighteen months. Now he was afraid Adrien was about to turn all that anger and blame onto himself.

Master Fu had insisted Adrien couldn't know what was going on. He believed that a broken-hearted Adrien was the best way to insure his safety and the only way to stop him leaving to search for her. After all Paris couldn't lose both of their heros even if they had gained three new ones. Hawkmoth was still a priority and Ladybug and Chat Noir had come the closest to catching him.

It had pained the Kwami to keep it from him, and watching him self-implode hadn't been fun. But he'd seen firsthand the chaos and destruction Akai Senshi had inflicted in her attempt to destroy one of his earlier charges Kuro Neko. If she was possessing Marinette the further away she was the better.

"Kid, you can't ignore me forever. Surely you must have questions?" Plagg floated down and landed on his pillow next to his face.

"Did you know the whole time Plagg?" Adrien asked sitting up. He already knew Plagg had kept it from him, but the real question was why?

"Some of it…" Plagg thought back to the night Tikki told him Akai Senshi had returned while their two charges were busy distracting each other.

"Plagg would you stop thinking about your stomach for a moment and listen to what I'm trying to tell you." Tikki snapped at the black Kwami who was complaining about being stuck in the bathroom.

"All I'm saying is, if they were going to do that at least they could have warned us. I could have grabbed supplies." Plagg grumbled as he searched the draws for anything eatable.

"Really Plagg, Adrien just told Marinette he loved her and she kissed him. It's so romantic but heartbreaking at the same time." Tikki closed her eyes and sighed, shaking her little head she focused on the conversation she was trying to have with the imposable Kwami she had known for well over a thousand years.

"That Marinette of yours may look all innocent Tikki but from what I can unfortunately hear that's more than kissing going on out there and I'm hungry. Who knows how long they will be at it for." Plagg gave up his search and landed on a fluffy towel Adrien had left on the floor.

Rubbing her temples Tikki tried to ignore Plagg but he was right. Instead of the plan Tikki and Marinette had come up with for her to say what she needed and then leave, Marinette had given into her biggest weakness. As soon as Tikki had heard Adrien say, 'I love you, I always have', she'd peaked around the corner to find the two locked in an embrace to rival any great love story.

At that point Tikki knew it was too late to stop them and had rushed a sleepy Plagg into the bathroom to give the pair some privacy and by the sounds of it she had been justified to do so.

"Ok Plagg you need to listen to me. I know this has inconvenience you and your stomach but Akai Senshi is trying to find a way to use Marinette and there's only one reason she would do that." Tikki floated down and sat in front of the suddenly alert Kwami.

"And you're only telling me this now? Why the hell is she anywhere near him Tikki?" Plagg couldn't believe how irresponsible the normally level headed Kwami was for endangering his charge like this.

Plagg hadn't thought about Kuro Neko for a very long time. He'd chosen to forget about that part of his long life and the things he'd been forced to do.

"Plagg calm down. Marinette doesn't fully understand what's going on and as long as she doesn't transform around Chat Noir there shouldn't be a problem… yet."

"What do you mean yet?"

"Well unless Marinette can learn to control that part of the miraculous, Akai Senshi will grow stronger that's why Marinette is leaving… tomorrow."

"What? Did she tell Adrien or is this something I'm going to have to deal with tomorrow after your girls had her way with him and left him broken hearted. You know the boy has abandonment issue's, already right?"

"I know… she still has time to tell him though." Tikki looked down at her hands knowing that Marinette had somehow managed to make it even harder for herself and would surely run at the first chance she got once she'd realised what she'd done.

"You have to be kidding me. That, "Plagg flew up and pointed at the bathroom door that lead into the bedroom, "Does not sound like a boy who's about to lose everything."

"Plagg you can't say anything to him. Master Fu doesn't want Adrien to find out why Marinette is leaving." Tikki floated up to face the angry Kwami.

"Why the hell did you tell me then Tikki? How is he ever going to trust me again when he finds out I knew?" Plagg slumped back down onto the towel dreading what was ahead.

"Why did you lie to me Plagg? The least you can do in be honest with me now." Adrien looked down at his Kwami trying to stay calm. His temper hadn't helped anyone today.

"I didn't want to kid… Believe me I hated watching you suffer and not just because it affected the cheese supply."

"Plagg this isn't funny. Can you stop thinking about your stomach for once?"

"Yeah, yeah I know. What I'm trying to say is Tikki told me the night you got lucky with Lady luck herself."

"Plagg!" Adrien felt his cheeks growing hot at the thought of her body pressed against his.

"What you can't deny it. I heard what you said to her… it was kinda hash but she had it coming and I warned Tikki this would happen." Plagg floated up and landed on the bedhead shaking his head at the thought.

"Seriously Plagg… It's none of your business. Stop wasting my time." Adrien hissed trying to stay calm. He replayed his earlier conversation with her in his head and his heart sank. He'd been so angry and his filter had dissolved leaving him to say whatever he wanted. At the time he felt like she deserved to hear it all but now he wasn't so sure…

"Kid, Tikki told me that Akai Senshi was coursing Ladybug grief and she had to go away to learn how to control it. I've seen firsthand the length Akai Senshi will go to and I wasn't going to let you get yourself killed on my watch."

"You could have told me something… anything…"

"Like what? Ladybugs Miraculous was damaged and a dead Ladybug was trying to use her to kill you. You were so stupidly blinded by love do you think you'd have stayed here knowing that she was in danger because of your Miraculous?"

Adrien glared at his Kwami lost for words. He couldn't argue with Plagg, he knew he would have followed her to the ends of the earth to save her. Nothing about this was black and while, everyone was to blame including him, but it didn't stop his pain or clear his aching head.

The only thing he was certain about was finding her. He didn't know if they had a future together, he wasn't stupid and he hadn't forgotten about the bird-boy, but he wasn't about to give up on her without a fight.

"It doesn't matter Plagg, what you did was fucked up. Nothing you say fixes anything, but I do understand why you did it even if it was wrong." Adrien scratched the little cats head then stood up. The room swayed slightly but he ignored it, turning the light on he had to wait a moment for his eyes to adjust before he could search for his keys.

"Hey, thanks… I think." Plagg mumbled watching Adrien struggle to keep his balance. "You shouldn't be out of bed, Tikki told me to make sure you rested. Playing around in your head comes with a price."

"Your telling me… my head is killing me but if you think that's enough to ground me Plagg you don't know me very well."

"Yeah, I know kid but Sabine has your keys and she's hidden your Miraculous."

"You have to be fuckin' kidding me… argh, why can't anything just go my way for once. Doesn't this whole unlucky bullshit ever get you down Plagg? And how are you still here if I don't have my Miraculous?" Adrien grumbled as he ran his hand through his messy blonde hair in frustration.

"Ah you get use to it after the first thousand years and as long as I have camembert cheese in my life it's not that bad, speaking of cheese is it too much to ask for…"

"You didn't answer my question Plagg, how are you still here?"

"Oh well that's easy, your Miraculous isn't too far away and you still want me here. So how 'bout dinner?"

Adrien couldn't believe how much the small Kwami could eat and he always seemed to ask at inappropriate times. Glancing at his watch he was surprised to see it was 1am. He'd managed to sleep for the whole day and most of the night and his stomach grumbled in protest. He could still taste vomit in his mouth and he doubted he'd be able to keep anything down.

Shaking his head and sighing Adrien opened his door and headed to the kitchen with the hungry Plagg right behind him.

The lights were still on in the kitchen and Adrien found Sabine and Nino seated around the breakfast bar eating leftover macaroons from the bakery. It was obvious that the pair had been waiting for him, knowing he'd be looking for his keys or Miraculous at some point throughout the night. He thought about demanding them back, but he didn't have the energy or heart to fight with Sabine when she was only looking out for him.

Nino stood up before Adrien could say anything, picked up a sleepy looking Wayzz and grabbed a plate of cheese.

"Hey bud… you look better than you did a few hours ago. I'm going to give you guys some privacy. Come on Plagg, I have your favourite stinky cheese." Nino said goodnight to Sabine before patted Adrien on the back and motioning with a nod of his head for Plagg to follow him. Plagg looked at the plate of cheese then back to Adrien who nodded his approval at the hungry cat.

Once Nino and the two Kwami had left the room Sabine walked over to Adrien and wrapped her arms around the troubled young man. It had been an easy decision to welcome him into her life after she had lost almost everything, and she knew she owed him more than she could ever repay, emotionally and financially.

Even in his broken state he had a gentle heart and Sabine couldn't understand how a mother could leave her only child with such a heartless man even if it was his father.

Adrien let her comfort him for a moment as the impact of the day started to sink in. He'd hidden behind the impenetrable wall he'd built for so long that moments like this were rare. Sabine had been the closest thing he had to a real family since his mother left and she always seemed to know when to talk and when he just needed someone to be there.

He knew he couldn't stay angry at her even if he wanted to. Struggling to hold the tears back any longer his anger turned to heartache and he pulled away trying to hide his tears.

"Oh Adrien… sit, we need to talk." Sabine took his hand and lead him over to the couch.

Adrien slumped down and hid his face in his hands still struggling to control the tears that stubbornly refused to stop. "Is she okay?"

"Marinette is resting, she will be fine Adrien. She hasn't changed… still just as stubborn. Master Fu wanted to prepare you first. He thought if he took the brunt of your anger it would be enough. But Marinette panicked when she saw you and Tikki is having trouble keeping her guilt a bay. Tikki should have known better but the poor Kwami feels like she is to blame." Sabine reached out and tried to smooth Adrien's messy hair with her motherly touch.

"I stuffed up Sabine…" Adrien mumbled still refusing to look at her.

"No, you didn't, we did… we all hurt you by keeping something from you, but you need to understand we all did it to protect you. We knew if you thought she'd rejected you that you wouldn't follow her. It was cruel but we didn't know how to stop you searching for her.

Nobody enjoyed seeing you suffer but I wasn't going to lose you as well… I promised her I'd watch over you… I owed her that much after… after I told her go."

"I don't understand… you told her to leave, why would you do that?"

"After the accident Marinette blamed herself. I was struggling to come to terms with everything and I couldn't bring myself to tell her it wasn't her fault. All she wanted was her mother to comfort her and I failed. So, when Master Fu approached me, I felt relieved when he suggested taking her away to finish her schooling at an exclusive training school. I hardly knew the man, I'd only met him a few times, and even though Marinette talked about him often he was still a stranger but somehow I still let him take my baby away." Sabine paused and looked down at her hands resting in her lap. Adrien noticed tears were streaming down her cheeks and silently falling onto the flour covered apron that she was still wearing. He wanted to say something, anything to comfort her but how could he? She was talking about pushing Marinette away, the same girl he loved even after she broke him. So he sat in silence waiting for her to continue.

"The last time I saw Marinette was after the Funeral. She was just about to go up to her room with Alya but she turned around to hug me and I just shook my head and walked away from her. I can't explain why and I'll never forgive myself for it. Later that night she left without saying good bye. I knew I didn't deserve a goodbye after that but I hadn't prepared myself for losing them both. It was the wakeup call I needed but it was too late. I know for a fact she hated herself for the way she left you Adrien and if you want someone to blame it should be me." Sabine couldn't hide her guilt as she looked into Adrien's green eyes knowing that she risked losing him as well, but he needed the truth more than she needed a substitute child.

Adrien felt numb as he sat there staring at Sabine. The night Marinette stayed over she'd refused to talk about the accident or the week that had followed so he left it. He had no idea how bad it had been between mother and daughter before the funeral. Everything about that night had thrown him and he didn't want to push her into talking. He thought they had time and she would talk when she was ready but she left before he even had a chance to help her.

The thought of a scared lonely Marinette lingered in his head clouding his thoughts and his judgment, and he was still struggling to believe Sabine could be so cold towards her. He knew grief did funny things to people, he'd witnessed firsthand the change in his father when his mother had left them. His father was never the same and Adrien had suffered because of it.

"Did you talk to her while she was… away?" Adrien tried to keep his voice steady but he was struggling with his anger and the guild felt like it was smothering him.

"No… I tried but she refused. Master Fu only told me what he thought I could handle but I know there was so much more going on with her… some days I was sure I could feel her pain and I hated myself for failing as her mother when she needed me the most. I knew the only thing I could do for her was to try and keep you safe."

"Is that the only reason you asked me to move in?" Adrien felt the familiar sting of rejection and his walls were instantly back.

"Adrien, no. I could see you were in pain, your father was hardly home and when he was he didn't notice you unless you were modelling his clothing lines. The truth is I needed you as much as you needed me. This is your home now, no matter what happens." Sabine reached out for Adrien's hand, but he abruptly stood up.

"I understand… but I can't be here right now. I need time to clear my head… it's been a weird day." Adrien headed for the stairs refusing to look back at Sabine.

"Adrien wait… your Miraculous!"

Adrien didn't bother to answer, he just wanted to escape from everything. He'd woken up believing one thing this morning and hadn't expected by the end of the day everything he thought he knew would turn out to be so wrong.