Beta: None. WILL have spelling and grammar mistakes. (Please don't complain as I've just warned you.)

Sex: No

Swearing: Minimal.

Main Title: Afterlife by Avenge Sevenfold.

Chapter Title: My Sacrifice by Creed


WITHIN YOUR MIND

Dean had no idea what had gotten into him. He was acting like a girl. He buried his head under the warm water and breathed deep, hoping the water would wash away… everything. The memories, the need, the feelings and the choice.

He felt his head beginning to ache under the weight of two worlds fighting against one another. Cas had told him that it was his choice, which world was really and which would only me a memory, but the problem was they were both real to Dean, they were merely separated by a fence.

The grass is always greener. His mind contributed.

Yeah, except both sides had equally green grass; on this side, he had his mom and Bobby…. He could even have Cas, if he could get over this irrational jealousy of himself. While on the other he had Sam and Bobby… and Cas, though on that side of the fence they were friends, nothing more; which meant his other-self was clearly either an idiot, blind or just a plan-ass jerk.

So really it came down to one choice, well two actually. One: his mother over his brother? Two: friendship over love?

Love?

Dean got out the shower and stared at his reflection, he wanted to deny the love aspect, wanted to tell himself that there was no such thing as love at first sight, which there wasn't – because he hadn't fallen for Cas at first sight, he fallen for him over the course of months and years, as memories slipped into his dreams, as feeling resurfaced a bit at a time, over the course of a life-time.

He'd been in love with Cas for his entire life, though he hadn't known it. It wasn't love at first sight; it was finding that which was lost.

Watching himself in the mirror he sighed and resolved to himself that if his other-self didn't have the common sense to want Cas, then he didn't deserve to have him.

That of course didn't mean that Dean had made his choice. Cas had said there was no rush, but he'd made up his mind not to allow his other-self to stop him from following where their heart led him.

Now he just had to convince Cas to allow him a chance, to see if this world could work for them both.

Something tightened suddenly in his stomach as a realization hit him like a thunderbolt. He would give up that other world, that other life…..Sammy, for this one if only he could have Cas. Because with Cas, this life would be happy.

Tears burned at his eyes lids. His throat tightened up on him. His breathe burned in his lungs. He stared into his own eyes and whispered a pray of apology to his unknown but remembered brother. As he did so he knew, his heart knew that Sam would understand. That he would not mind as long as Dean was happy.

This world was safe; there were no threats, no angel/demon war. This world was what his life was meant to be.

~SUPERNATURAL: AFTERLIFE~

Dean strolled down the stairs with clean skin and fresh insight, and came to a shocked halt. "Mom?" he frowned as Mary Winchester stood in the doorway her eyes hard and angry. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Where is it?" she demanded.

"What?" Dean asked, trying desperately to sound innocent, while trying to figure what she was doing here, how she's known.

"Don't play dumb with me Dean John Winchester!" she almost shouted. "Where. Is. It!"

Dean's gaze snapped to the kitchen for a split second before turning back to his mother. That second was all the older woman need to know just where her enemy was. Before another word could leave Dean's lips she was barreling forwards, murder in her gaze.

~SUPERNATURAL: AFTERLIFE~

"Mom! – Mom!" Dean jumped over the banister, landing with a crash on the wooden boards; he didn't hesitate for a second before rushing after his mother. "Stop. Mom!"

Bobby rushed out of the lounge at the sound of the raised voices; seeing Mary marching murderously towards the angel he tried to get to her. "Mary Stop…. Listen." But she was determined and angry.

Castiel watched it all happening in a blur, he got to his feet and fixed his gaze with Mary's. The woman hadn't change much over the years. She was still beautiful, even with the violence shining from her ocean coloured eyes. He saw Dean rushing in from behind her, he saw Bobby coming from the other room, he saw the gleam of an angel blade him Mary's hand.

"MOM!" Dean yelled but the woman continued to ignore him.

Cas looked from Mary to Dean and noticed the desperation in the younger hunters gaze, the fear and his heart skipped. Twice in two days he'd seen that fear in Dean's eyes, both of which were aimed at him and the risk to his existence.

Early morning sunlight bounced off the pure silver of the blade as it was raised. Castiel didn't flinch, he didn't breath. He understood Mary's hate. He accepted it. After all he was as responsible for what had happened to John Winchester as Anna.

Rough fingers wrapped around Mary's wrist as Dean sprinted past his mother to shield Cas. The woman glanced around angrily to see Bobby holding her firm.

"Stop!" he ordered.

"It's an angel."

Bobby's gaze shot to Cas then back to Mary. "Yep, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die."

"You're protecting it?" She gasped. "I thought you were on my side?"

"I am Mary." Bobby said softly. "But he's not like the others." He nodded towards the silent angel being shielded by her son.

Dean was press against Cas with pleading in his eyes. "Mom…. Just listen, please."

Mary's gaze shifted between her son and the angel he was protecting, a sense of betrayal washing over her, that betray was flamed with anger when she noticed Dean's finger cling to the man's hand.

Mother and Son locked gazes, a thousand questions and accusation swimming between them.

"Who is he?" she grounded out, not meeting the angels' eyes, talking as if it wasn't there.

"Castiel."

She snorted at the gentle way her son said the name. "And he's here way exactly?"

"To help." Cas answered.

Mary didn't acknowledge him or what he'd said; she stared at her son waiting for him. It was childish, but anger tended to do that to people.

"He's here to help, Mom."

Mary scoffed and turned to leave. "Help turn my family against me."

"Mom." Dean rushed after the retreating woman. "Please…. There'd stuff you need to hear…. About Dad."

Mary came to a halt not turning. "What about him?"

"Who killed him….."

"I know who killed him." her voice tightened with emotion at the pain and memory of that day, which was still so raw to her.

"Why she killed him."

"Because angels don't care, they're no better than demons. – I thought I taught you that."

Dean glanced back at Cas with soft eyes. "They're not all bad Mom. Some do care…. A lot."

His mother mumbled under her breath.

"Just listen to what Cas has to say, then you can go. – It's important Mom."

Mary turned slowly to stare passed her son to the man standing in the kitchen of her friend, the angel that was slowly fooling her family. Tears burned at the back of her eyes. She breathed deep and stepped into the lounged, lowering herself down on the window seat, her heart pounding against her ribs.

She wasn't fooled, she wouldn't be fooled. She would listen to what this angel had to tell her, then she would finish him as she had a dozen before.

She would not be fooled by innocent remorseful eyes.

"You called my mother." Dean whispered harshly to Bobby as he watched Mary walk to her seat in the lounge.

"She has a right to hear this, Idjit. – He would have been her son too." Bobby snapped before following after Mary.

Dean turned apologetic eyes on Cas and smiled as he walked towards him. "You're going to have to tell her everything. – She'll never trust you if you don't."

"Everything?"

Dean smirked. "Everything that is relevant…." He lowered his voice. "You can leave out the kissing and snuggling. I don't my mom would appreciate hearing about her sons love life."

Cas nodded, but Dean didn't miss the red stain creeping up his cheeks. It made his earlier decision the right one. – At least as long as he could convince the angel to go along with it….. Not to mention his mother.

"Are you going to hide in there all day?" Mary Winchester shouted from the other room. Her tone clearly informing the two men that she was angry and impatient.

"Let's get this over with….. Cause there are more important things to discuss."

Cas frowned and tilted his head unconsciously, which Dean instantly mirrored with a secret smile, cause Cas to once again straighten.

"What is more important than fixing what Anna has done?"

Dean sighed a little angrily. "I thought you said that was my decision to make…. Fixing it?"

"I – It is?"

"Then let me make it."

"Dean!" Mary shouted again and the hunter headed for the room, Castiel behind him.

~SUPERNATURAL: AFTERLIFE~

Castiel sat on a hard desk chair meeting Mary's gaze unflinchingly. The only thing that was making him nervous was the way Dean was sat on the coach staring at him. He wasn't sure where to start, it had been so easy to tell Dean and Bobby what had happened, he knew them, he knew they'd understand. But he'd never met Mary Winchester.

She was staring at him in the same way Dean had when he'd walked into that apartment to save his life. It spoke of a memory, but she couldn't remember him.

"I know you." She suddenly remarked.

Dean and Bobby's heads snapped around to stare at the woman. "What?" they quizzed in unison.

"I know him…?" her eyes narrowed. "I – no, that's impossible…. I killed you. – Five years ago."

"What?" Dean's mouth fell open as he stared at Cas with confusion.

"Yes…. Only it was not me, it was my other self."

"You're what?" Mary sneered.

"I'm not from this reality. I travel back with your sons to try to stop Anna." Cas began. "Anna travelled back from the year 2009 to kill you and John Winchester."

"Why?" Mary was angry again.

"To destroy your children." He glanced at Dean out of the corner of his eye.

"Well she failed." Mary smirked bitterly.

"Not completely. – You were already carrying Dean, but she was able to insure that Sam was never born."

"Sam?"

"Your other son. – He was supposed to be born in 1982, but with John's death that never happened."

Castiel calmly told Mary everything, leaving out nothing, except Dean's kiss. Mary sat watching with a bemused and somewhat disbelieving look on her face though out. As Cas spoke of the grand plan and the Winchesters role. How Sam and Dean were the destine vessels of Michael and Lucifer, of Anna's desperate plan, Mary said nothing.

"Why Me? – Why my sons." Mary asked when Castiel had finished, still not believing what the angel said.

"Because it is destiny, because John Winchesters bloodline stretches all the way back to Adam and because you made the deal." Cass voice suddenly held a hint of anger.

"Deal?" Dean frowned. "What deal?"

Mary's gaze narrowed at the angel, her hands clenched tightly around the angel blade in her lap. Cas waited, never once breaking eye contact. A challenge passed between them, Mary daring the angel to speak, Cas daring the mother not to. Dean and Bobby sat between them waiting.

"This is rubbish. – He's lying." Mary sprang to her feet. "If you want to believe this shit, go ahead I'm leaving."

"What deal Mom?" Dean snapped, gripping his mother's arm and receiving a blazing glare for his trouble, but he did not let go.

"Dean." She warned in a low grown. "Let me go."

"Not until you tell me, what deal?"

Dean saw the tear burning behind his mother's eyes and the bottom of his stomach fell away, his heart pounding. She sent Cas a scolding hateful look, probably because he was forcing her into a position where she had to reveals something she didn't want to.

"It's not important Dean."

"If it's the reason Dad died, it is."

His mother's face whitened considerably, it was a discomforting sight.

"I – it was a long time ago Dean…." She said in a small tight voice. "I – there's no proof that what that thing…." She spat. "… is saying is true."

"He has a name Mom." Dean snapped becoming increasing angry with the woman how'd raised him, taught him, not only because of the way she was speaking to Cas, but also cause of her attempts to avoid the question. "And it's the truth Mom. – You know that as well as I do. – It makes sense."

There was a long pregnant silence that filled the room and stole the air. Dean stared at his mother; Bobby stared at them both and Cas stared out of the window.

"I – I made a deal…."

"With?"

She sighed furiously. "A demon."

"What? – When? – Why?"

Mary sent a murderous look to the back of Cass head, he couldn't see it, but he felt it just the same.

"To save your father. – A yellow eyed demon killed your grandparents and then your father, he promised to bring John back if I agreed to his terms."

"What terms?" Dean shouted.

"He said something about stopping by the house in ten years."

Dean stared open mouthed for an eternity. "And you didn't ask why?"

"Of course, he didn't say why, he said no one would get hurt."

"Well he lied!" Dean shouted, his head once again filling with the oxygen-stealing vision of his mother burning alive. "… Demon's do that! – He lied Mom, cause someone did get hurt, YOU!"

Mary met his eyes with tears sliding from beneath blond lashes.

"You died, Mom….." he was crying, he didn't want to but he'd held back these memories, the pain he hadn't actually experienced but remembered, for so long it was all he could do not to crumble under its weight.

Mary's hand brushed her sons' cheek. "I'm sorry, Dean…. If I had known…. If I had thought…."

"You still would have done it." Dean whispered, he was still angry, still so very angry. "Because to you Dads' the most important thing…. Dad and getting revenge for his murder, no matter what the cost." With that the tall man turned on his heels and marched out of the room, his mother gaping at his retreat. Tears pouring from her eyes like a river bursting its banks.