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How many times had he sat in a hospital and waited for news about one of his team? How many times had the team waited for news about him in these same types of waiting rooms? It was too many to count, and it had to stop, Reid thought

He tilted his head back in his chair and stared up at the eggshell white ceiling over his head. If he concentrated with all his strength, maybe he could see Emily's face projected there like a film. If he could see her face, then she'd be okay. She'd be alright and he could put his father's advice to work

"Reid."

Apparently, his concentration was shot because he could still hear Rossi, who'd sat next to him since he'd arrived at the hospital.

"What?"

"The doctor's here."

Reid shot to his feet as the surgeon approached. To him, the woman striding toward them was the most important person in the universe. Her grey eyes were tired, but he saw that they were also hopeful. It was better than nothing.

She held up a hand to forestall any of their questions. "Which one of you is Agent Hotchner?"

"I'm he."

"You're her emergency contact."

"That's right, doctor, how is she?"

She turned her attention away from the rest of the team. "Why don't we go into one of the consultation rooms?"

"Please allow the rest of the team to hear it. I know Emily wouldn't mind."

"Alright, please come with me."

The room she led them to, was very small, and with all of them inside, it felt like they were hiding from some nameless threat. Reid stood in front of the door while JJ and Garcia took the only two chairs in the room. Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan surrounded the doctor, eager to hear what she had to say.

"Ms Prentiss was brought in with a gunshot wound to the upper left quadrant. The bullet missed her heart, but it did nick the left lung. The resulting internal bleeding caused what is known as a hemothroax. The external pressure caused the lung to collapse. We were able to repair the damage and have taken measures to re-inflate the lung. She will walk out of here in about a week."

There was a general uproar, but Reid just stood clutching hard at his cane. Relief made him so weak he would have fallen without the support.

"Can we see her?" He didn't care about the tremble in his voice. The only thing important was Emily

The doctor regarded him over Rossi's shoulder. "She's still in recovery and she hasn't regained consciousness. She won't need to be in intensive care after she wakes, but I'm going to insist that you keep the number of visitors to two people for the first forty-eight hours. She needs her rest."

"Thank you doctor."

Hotch held out a hand to her. She took it and smiled at him, her warm grey eyes twinkling. "You must care about each other a great deal."

"We do."

"My name is Dr. Agatha Perry if you have any questions. Ms Prentiss will be on the fifth floor when she's out of recovery. You can get her room number from one of the nurses on duty."

They followed her out of the consultation room and down the hallway to the elevators. She gave them another smile and turned off down a hallway to the right and back toward the operating theaters.

"We have to find out who did this to her." Morgan implored Hotch.

"Then let's get to work," Hotch agreed without argument.

"Hotch, someone should stay here." Rossi pointed out. "Emily said something about her parents going to Europe for the holidays and to see to some business. I don't think they'll make it back for a few days, at least. Why doesn't Reid stay here while the rest of us work on the case?"

'Rossi I want to help -"

"You can barely stand up with that knee." Hotch gestured to him. "Stay here with her. I promise we'll find who did this."

"But, Hotch -"

"He's right," Rossi agreed. "You're in no shape to chase after a drive by shooter."

"I'm not helpless."

Rossi pinned him with a look that shut off his complaints. The rest of the team left when one of the elevators arrived, after giving him messages to pass on to Emily when she woke.

He took the other elevator to the fifth floor. His knee trembled and ached as he watched the numbers on the read out count up. The stabbing pain in his leg couldn't get his mind off Rossi and Emily. His teammate had given him a look that said he knew something was going on. Perhaps there was no way to keep it from any of them.

Does it matter? Emily's in a hospital bed fighting for her life. Is secrecy the most important thing right now?

The doors opened onto the fifth floor. The lights were dimmed and the only person he saw was small, blond women in light blue scrubs. She stood with her head bent over what looked like a file. Her ponytail fell over her shoulder when she lifted her head and glanced up at him.

"Can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you can tell me where the waiting room is."

"It's down the hallway." She pointed to the left. "Wait," she stopped him when he turned in that direction. "Who are you here to see?"

"Um, Agent Emily Prentiss. Dr. Perry said she was still in recovery."

"Oh yes, I'm Jackie. I'm one of the nurses on this floor tonight. Agent Prentiss won't be transferred up for a few hours and then she won't be awake. Are you sure, you want to wait. You look tired."

Her dark blue eyes reminded him of JJ, they were full of the compassion JJ often had for victims.

"I'm fine." He pulled out his badge and showed it to the nurse. "I'm SSA Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU. Emily is one of my teammates. I'd like to wait here for her if that's okay."

Jackie took his arm. "Are you sure you're okay. You look like you could use sleep."

"It's nothing. I was shot in the line of duty a few months ago. My knee was nearly destroyed. I'm recovering though; it's just too much work."

"And worry, I would say," Jackie replied, "that it's the result of too much worry."

"I'm okay; I just forgot my pain medication."

"I could get you some Tylenol."

He made himself smile at her. "You don't have to do that."

"It's okay. We're pretty quiet tonight."

He realized that they'd arrived at a waiting area that looked like every other waiting area he'd ever seen.

"Thank you."

"Sit down and I'll get you something for your knee."

He looked around the room, and found what he needed more than the painkillers, a pot of coffee. It stood in a maker on one table, near a lamp that glowed like gold in the low light of the room.

Even though he made a cup, when Jackie came back, she found him on the couch asleep. "Well, I'll just leave this here for you when you wake up. Don't worry; we'll take care of your friend."

CMCMCMCM

It was six am when Reid entered Emily's room. He stopped at the entrance because there were so many tubes and wires connected to her. Her face was as white as the sheet pulled up to her neck. His eyes frantically searched for the telltale rise of her chest. He sighed in relief when he saw that she breathed. He also noticed the cannula in her nose that delivered oxygen.

Of course, she's breathing. You can see the monitors keeping her heart rate and her oxygen stats.

The room was dark, lit only from the light that infused from the hallway, but there was enough light for him to see a bag of red blood and other bags of fluids were hung from poles at either side of the bed. He knew there would be other tubing that would carry away the blood or fluids that had built up in her chest and caused her lung to collapse.

"Oh hello, Dr. Reid."

Jackie had entered the room behind him so quietly he jumped. "Hi," he squeaked.

"I'm just here to take her vitals. You can sit down if you like."

He sat and was quiet until Jackie left. "Hi, Emily, it's Reid. Um, I just wanted you to know that the team is doing everything they can to find the person that did this to you."

She was so quiet that chills fingered their way up his spine. All the complications he knew that were possible from this kind of wound and operation, started to careen through his mind like a ball bearing in a pinball machine. He clutched at his head and tried to think of something else. Oh, what he wouldn't give for the ability to just shut off his mind.

Tell her how you feel.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry I got so mad at you," he said.

His voice quaked so that speaking became more difficult than walking without his cane. He watched her face, but she didn't give any indication that she heard anything he was saying.

"I was angry and afraid. You were right. I do love you. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. Still, that doesn't mean that you have to love me in return. I just want you to wake up and smile at me again. It doesn't matter what happens after that. Please just live and the rest we'll figure out together."

He blinked away a tear that was trying to escape his eye because it did no good. Hadn't he learned that lesson when he was a child? It hadn't helped when the bullies in school beat him up. In fact, his tears seemed to egg them on as if they took pleasure from them.

He learned to suppress his tears so the older boys that hit him wouldn't see. It didn't stop the torture, and it wouldn't help him now. Nonetheless, the traitor tears began dropping down his cheeks like rain from storm clouds. He impatiently wiped them away, but couldn't stop them because the pain in his heart was like a physical thing trying desperately to get out. He inhaled deeply, and tried to make the urge to cry go away. What if Morgan were to come into the room? Morgan never cried.

Crying is good for you. You saw Hotch crying at Haley's funeral. Crying is a good response to stress. It releases hormones like prolactin that relieve stress. Humans are the only species that evolved to cry as a way to relive stress and boost the immune system. Humans cry in times of stress, sorrow and even joy. It's a natural thing to do. Unrelieved stress can cause heart attacks and damage certain areas of our brains. We need to cry to rid our bodies of hormones that can poison our emotional and physical well-being.

What are you thinking? Who cares about why you're crying? Emily is alive. Cry some tears over that.

He watched Emily's face, but there was nothing to indicate that she might wake up. He didn't understand it. This was the part in stories when the heroine was supposed to open her eyes and admit that she heard everything the hero said and that she loved him too.

He watched and he waited as more tears fell, but she didn't wake up.