Part seven

Your mouth so lying was most heaven in view

When I came back to the safe house Farfarello was sticking painted pieces of macaroni unto paper, all the macaroni was in shades of red and he was painting massacres. Most disturbing of all the one eyed Irish maniac was singing, "I'm a tot, je suis une tot, tilly tom and tiny.1" I shuddered and shifted around hoping he wasn't going to see me.

"BBC World service." Mastermind said from behind me, "he was feeling homesick, try not to listen, it's really, really catchy."

Nagi was sat on the other side of the room humming it with his Game Boy advance SP (tribal edition) happily bleeping and whirring, his face was lit up. "That better be educational." I muttered.

"Hai, tousan," he answered with a smirk, "there's a lot one can learn from Pokemon Red." He looked over at me, "you were out for a long time, hot date?"

"I went to a movie." I answered, "I went to see Yojimbo."

"Yo Himbo?" Schuldig asked.

"No, Yojimbo," Nagi said rolling his eyes, "it's a masterpiece of Japanese cinema, directed by Kurosawa."

"Oh," Schuldig looked a little disappointed, "it sounded like gay porn."

"That's on Channel 5 at 2.30 this morning." Nagi said without even looking up.

"What Yojimbo?" I asked, not really sure of what I was walking into.

"No, Yo himbo." Nagi replied dryly, "Crawford, surely you know Channel 5 is Schuldig's gay porn channel."

I groaned. "Nagi, it's past your bedtime." He looked at the clock, it was barely midnight. Nonetheless without raising his eyes from his gameboy he went to his room. Of course it was too much to ask that he might actually go to bed. Well he might but just sit in it in his pj's and carry on bleeping and whirring. Turning the light out doesn't work anymore either, damn thing has a back lit screen.

I stand in the shower for a long time, dealing with all manner of personal hygiene problems, what you didn't expect me to tell you did you? I did worry over how long is normal for calling, I very nearly called him the instant I got back, pretending that I accidentally dialled it when programming it into my phone. Then I realised that that was the absolute worst excuse I could think of and resolved to phone him in the morning. Or maybe wait a couple of days, I really had no idea how to do this, in the past if I wanted someone I went out and got them, I didn't bother with this dating nonsense so why on earth would I know how long to wait before I called him.

After dressing in a pair of comfortable sweat pants and a outsized t-shirt I flick on the remote to my favourite channel, the Koneko. He's only just got back. Balinese actually smells him as he pours water into the kettle for tea. "You smell like man," he says.

"Well, Yohji, that might be because I am a man." He answers wryly.

"No," Balinese takes another deep sniff, "you smell like aftershave and coffee and," he wrinkles his nose, "liquor, you were on a date."

"I went to the pictures." Aya answers blithely, "I met a friend there, we went for a drink."

"You don't have friends," Balinese replies, "so did you get his number?"

"I gave him mine, I got the impression that he wouldn't want me phoning him." I had a brief vision of him phoning and Farfarello answering the phone. I was suddenly so glad that I hadn't given him my number.

"Is he married?" Balinese asked.

"No." That was nicely emphatic.

"Then why doesn't he want you phoning him?"

"He has nosy house-mates." Aya answered. "In fact he might as well live with a house full of you's."

"Aya, in all the time I have known you how many times have I said not to give out your number, get theirs because they won't phone you." He has a lecturing face on and I really want to shoot him, the only reason I haven't called already is because it's been less than an hour and it really is too soon, even I can tell that shifts the balance from eager to really really desperate.

"He'll call." Aya answers, "Now I have an early shift in the morning so I'm going to threaten and leave you." He blows a kiss at him in a manner that is actually sarcastic as the phone rings.

It takes me a moment to realise it's not me.

"Aya, phone." Bombay shouts from the hall, being as he is stood right beside it he picks up the kitchen handset.

He sticks his tongue out at Balinese as he answers. "Fujimiya desu." His entire face falls, "Oh, hi, Sakura." It's actually remarkable to watch, his entire expression changes from pleasantly amused to beleaguered and he sat heavily in the chair and put his head on his hand and looked down at the grain of the table. I think even if I hadn't desired him, as much as I did, seeing the look of absolute despair on his face as he spoke about whatever the girl wanted, I would have rescued him.

I took out the piece of paper with his number on it and then flipped open my cell and dialled the number.

"Sakura, I've got to go," he didn't in any way look overjoyed, "there's someone on the other line. I'll call you back, okay." The look on his face gave the impression that it would be a green day in Hell before he did, but it seemed to work because it got her off the line. "Fujimiya desu." He answered.

"I had the suspicion that you'd be entirely grateful if I phoned you now." I told him.

"So there is an advantage to precognition?" He answered with a laugh, he didn't have to ask who it was.

"More than one." I assured him dryly. I sat back in the leather armchair in my room, I could see his expression as he stood in the kitchen, he was making himself tea with his phone wedged between his ear. "Isn't there anything you want to ask me about my vision or thank me for saving you?"

"Yes," his smile was impish, he was leaning his hips against the counter as he waited for the kettle to boil, one hand holding the phone and the other playing with an eartail, twisting it around one finger in a rather teasing manner, the long gold pendant earring banging against his hand as he did it. If I had have had a romantic bone in my body I think I would have been in love, rather than pure lust that it was. "I must thank you from saving me from the terrible dilemma I was in, talking to a young girl who worships me."

"If you want," I said, watching him intently on the screen, "I could let you go and you could call back your dutiful worshipper."

"Don't you dare." He said fiercely. "She's only got two topics of conversation, me and running, and there's nothing I loathe talking about more." He poured the hot water into the tea and then went back to playing with his hair, "god it's worse than starting Omi about programming."

I laughed, because it was genuinely quite funny, "I can think of someone like that." I told him, "except the only programming he really cares about is chaos generators and that thing where you can shoot doors in games and they open."

"I like solitaire." He told me a little archly, "but anything more than that and I get confused."

"Mah-jongg," I told him, "half the time I appear to be working I'm really playing mah-jongg." I watched him laugh.

"Computers are for Omi," he told me, "I can just about use the internet and when I try to get him to explain it to me he baffles me with jargon."

"You think that's bad," I tell him, "Nagi has it wired up so that it can run these computer games I've never heard of and half the time we can't even get the internet."

"You amuse me." He told me softly. "You have a vision of me suffering under the predations of the deadly Sakura and rescue me, then you tell me the terrible secrets of your organisation, you'll be telling me the passwords next."

"I know I could and Nagi would have removed all the protected passwords to play Final Fantasy 11."

"If I even knew how to find those programs."

"You'll find yourself wandering around Final Fantasy land dressed as an orc or something." I felt quite proud of myself for that sentence.

"I'd probably lose all his experience points and he'd know he'd been hacked." Aya said, sipping his tea, and turning the bowl in his hand, it was decorated with a spray of magnolia branches, the white blossoms looking as if they were dipped in blood. I thought it lovely and suited him rather well. I suddenly had the idea of a wonderful gift for him. I half expected that he would drink tea from some ugly mug, Nagi once gave me a cup with a man running wildly and waving his arms at a load of black dots, it said midges keep me fit.

I bought him a set of moomin crockery in revenge because it pays to know what scares him the most. Believe it or not moomins are the only thing that the boy is actually scared of. And the kinder hippo, who is a giant blue moomin.

Nevertheless I actually have become fond of the mug and drink my morning coffee out of it rather than the plain white mugs that make up the rest of the tea service.

"Face it, he'd know he'd been hacked if you just set your cup down somewhere near the keyboard." I told him.

"Now tell me, did you phone me just to rescue me? Or to talk about Nagi?"

"Now, are you telling me that you're getting jealous because I'm talking about Nagi?"

"You phoned me," Aya said, "isn't this where you're supposed to regale me with stories of my beauty? And find what makes me tick so you know exactly what to say."

I laughed, it was actually quite true, "I can see the future," I told him, "I always know what to say, and I thought you didn't like being told you were kirei, that kirei was a girl word."

He laughed into his tea, "you were listening."

"What are you working the day after tomorrow?" I asked suddenly.

"It's my day off," I actually knew that but didn't say.

"I have a plan." I was smirking, I'm sure he could hear it down the phone. "I was thinking that I could take you out for tea."

He laughed, "well, how old do you think I am, taking me out for tea, and a slice of cake, as well I suppose. I must wonder if you've been sniffing the tippex you use for mission reports."

"That's water based." I protest, "Schuldig's socks have been known to have the same hallucinogenic effects however. They have pokemon on them, you know."

"His socks?" That was incredulous. "From now on I'll have to call him Pikaschu."

"That for some reason is so much funnier when you say it rather than when Farfarello did." I told him.

"I didn't think he had a sense of humour." Aya answered.

"He doesn't, he just watches Pokemon." I tell him, "now tell me you'll meet me tomorrow at the Kuroneko Ochaya, and I'll tell you what they call you."

"Hmm, now what could they call me? Ice prince, umm, the red rose of Weiss, lets see, Yohji said I was a damned kitsune." He said.

"I'm not telling you until tomorrow, he who poses."

"Why am I getting the impression that they call me Tuxedo-Kamen?" There is no way he could have guessed that, I'm thinking he overheard someone, "one of the fan girls in the shop said it the other day and it was all I could do not to spit take."

"Well," I tell him, "you both have an equally fine."

"I beg your pardon," he says mock offended.

"I was going to say code flower." I can mock innocence with the best of them.

"Face it, you were going to say ass."

"I might have been thinking ass, and visualising ass but I was going to say flower."

"So now you're fantasising about my ass." I think he's trying not to laugh.

"As if you can reassure you're not fantasising about mine." I say, I can see Balinese coming into the room. "So tell me, how do you picture my ass?" I only said it to see how he would answer with Balinese in the room.

"In the air with your face buried in the pillows." He tells me winking at Balinese who actually looks very offended.

"That better not be Sakura you're talking to." He says. "I think I'm traumatised."

Aya swats him, "ugh, that's just, ugh,"

"Nasty mental image?" I ask. I'm not supposed to be able to know what Balinese asked him.

"It'll be his punishment for thinking up such a vile topic." Aya assures me, "he's going to be thinking it all night, and then when he finally gets to sleep he'll have nightmares about Sakura." I laugh though I wouldn't know this Sakura if I was to pass her in the street. Regardless I recognise her as a rival. "I've finished my tea now, so I'm going to hang up, I'll meet you at the Kuroneko at 10, and not a moment later. Bai bai."

His sign off his rather informal and I quite like it, and it's only when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that I realise that I'm grinning like a fool. It's lust I tell myself, and part of me even listens.

Author's note

I do finally give in to pressure, obviously,

This chapter has been written and eaten by my laptop no less than six times. It's cursed, I tell you, cursed. Its weird because the characterisation for this is very different from AA&W so… but short it might be but it is the next chapter.

There is actually a list of things that I have to mention for this, one of them, my personal favourite in fact is the moomins. I'm terrified of moomins and then one day I'm stood in House of Fraser and a tea set stared at me, and jumped a good clear foot in the air with a aarrgghh moomin and my beta said Lust list - a moomin tea set! And I had to do it.

1 This is a children's tv show from the UK, it has the most annoyingly catchy theme song, and tells surreal French fairy tales.