New Beginnings 7
"AN: The following chapter focuses on the symbolism in these lyrics: "Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems. Maybe that's what happens when a Tornado meets a Volcano. All I know is I love you to much to walk away" from Eminem and Rihanna's "Love the Way You Lie.
"What the hell do you think you are doing? I trusted you to take care of Marty and I find you here forcing a kiss on her?" Patrick yelled as he got in between Todd and me.
"It's not what you think Patrick. He didn't force me into anything. I kissed him," I said.
"So, let me get this straight. I went through hell to get back to you and the entire time I've been fighting for us, you've been throwing us away so that you can be Todd Manning's whore."
"Don't talk to her that way," Todd stated.
Patrick punched him in the face. "I'll talk to my wife any way I please, stay out of it."
"Patrick, stop it. Don't be mad at Todd. He didn't do anything wrong."
"Then why were you kissing him? Are you sleeping with him?"
"Of course not. It was just a kiss. I was beginning to lose hope that you were alive. The kiss, it just happened. I'm really sorry that I hurt you, but I never stopped loving you. You have to believe me."
"I do believe you Marty. I've never doubted that you love me. I love you too, but the kiss didn't just happen. I'm going to ask you a simple question and I want you to be straight with me. Do you love him?"
I didn't know what to say. I had strong, passionate, feelings for Todd, I always had, and probably always would. My feelings for Todd existed somewhere in the blurry mess of love and hate and I was afraid to sort it out. What if I still loved him after all these years? I was afraid to be with him, but I couldn't let him go. I looked at Todd and he seemed to be holding his breath waiting for an answer that would never come.
"Well, are you in love with him?" Patrick asked again.
"It's complicated," I answered.
"No it's not. It's a simple yes or no question. Maybe the reason that you've never been able to let him go is because you still love him."
"I love you and I don't want to lose you, I'm just confused right now."
"You need to figure out what you want, because I refuse to share your heart with this bastard who has done nothing but hurt you. I'll see you around," Patrick said as he left me on the pier with Todd.
"Are you proud of yourself Todd? Now that you've completely decimated my life? Why did you kiss me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked turning all my anger and frustration onto Todd.
"I kissed you because I wanted to comfort you, but you kissed me back. Why did you do that? Is Patrick right, are you still in love with me?"
"What do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that I've always loved you? Well I have and I do, but we can't ever be together without a catastrophe happening. Every time I'm close to you disaster strikes. You're a god Dam Tornado Todd. You destroy everything in your path. You always have and you always will. I'm not much better. I'm a self destructing Volcano and my love for you just broke Patrick's heart. Nothing good has ever come from loving you. I loved you so much and you raped me. You destroyed me and I can't go through that again. I won't."
"God, Marty I would never hurt you again."
"I know you won't intentionally hurt me, but I don't know if you can help yourself any more than I can. It's in our nature to be destructive, it's just who we are. I just need you to give me space so I can figure out where we go from here."
"I'll give you space, but will you at least let me hire you a bodyguard. Now that Patrick and I have both escaped from the agency I don't want them coming after you."
"You can hire Shaun. I trust him,"
"Okay, I trust him too. I'll get out of your way. Marty, I do love you and I'll do anything to prove that our love can work."
"Just give me space. I'll let you know what I decide," I said.
We stood in silence, both of us too emotionally exhausted to speak any longer until Shaun showed up and Todd walked away. It took everything that I had not to beg Todd to stay, but I knew that I needed this time apart from him. I needed to figure out if a relationship with Todd was even a possibility after all the pain that we had caused one another.
