Mistakes are my fault, but do not blame me!
.
Gilbert wasn't as happy about this as he should have been. Roderich was out of the hospital now, and was coming home for the first time. And Gilbert knew that given Roderich's condition a haphazard life spread over two apartments just wasn't going to work. So he did something completely stupid and irrational.
He'd bought a house.
The house wasn't anything close to the three story mansion that was Roderich's home of dreams, but it was nice. Cosy even.
It wasn't like Roderich would never walk again. There was treatment and exercises that could be done, and though he'd never get the strength back that he used to have, he could at least get better.
He could get better.
Gilbert swallowed hard. Sure Roderich could get better but… He'd refused the treatment.
Gilbert had pushed Roderich into the house, and through the rooms, trying to give him a feel of the place. Roderich's grip on his hand was weak, and his smile was small, but at least it was there. But when they got to the room where Gilbert had moved Roderich's piano, the smile just seemed to fade. The amusement left. The room suddenly seemed filled with half expressed pain, and a sense of subtle hopelessness.
Like something along the way broke, and though the wheels were still turning, a piece of the soul had been left behind.
"Do you want to play it?" Gilbert asked.
"Eventually. Show me the kitchen."
Gilbert didn't hear piano in the house for weeks.
Gilbert didn't hear piano in the house for weeks, and when he finally did, it wasn't like the usual flowing pieces that came with his lover. It was just, disjointed.
Gilbert entered the music room to find Roderich staring at his hands, silent tears brimming in his eyes.
Gilbert didn't make a noise as he entered the room, but somehow Roderich knew he was there and looked up to meet his eyes. And then the tears began to fall.
"Roderich, what's wrong?" Gilbert crossed the room to fall at his lover's feet. "Baby, please, tell me what's wrong."
"I can't do it, Gilbert. I can't do it anymore. I used to be so good and now I can't force my hands to do the same things anymore. I just can't."
And Gilbert felt a little bit of his soul break, because to Roderich, music was everything. He would stay with Roderich forever but Roderich would never be the same.
"Shh, shhh it's okay. Don't force yourself." Gilbert pulled Roderich into a tight hug, running his fingers through his smooth dark hair. Roderich pulled back to look into his eyes.
"I know this is the part where I'm supposed to be all selfless, and tell you that you don't have to bother with me if you don't want to, but I don't think I have the strength. Please don't leave me Gilbert. I don't think I can loose anything else."
And Gilbert clung to his broke lover, which was the only thing he wanted in the world, and felt tears spring into his own eyes.
"Never. I could never leave you after this."
.
Lovino had been traveling for a few months when he found it. It wasn't anything special, just an abandoned church in a never heard of town, but there was something about it that just, drew him in.
There were holes in the roof of the chapel, where water damage had gotten the best of the old wood, but the natural light almost made it: magical. Amidst the rubble in a few piles on the pews, and around the cracking windows, plant life had slowly made it's way into the building.
There was a room off to the side which still had a full roof and seemed pretty windproof, and there was a yard that looked like it used to be a garden that was now overrun with weeds.
But despite the disarray of the church, it seemed that it only added to the majestic qualities of the building.
And despite the fact that Lovino told himself he was only staying for the night, he never really left.
.
Lovino waited until the moon was high in the sky to leave the German's house. He really didn't want to cause another scene. He'd almost made it out safely, when the kitchen light snapped on, and Lovino was met with the face of an extremely angry Gilbert.
"Where are you going?" Gilbert's voice was dark. Lovino just stood, and clenched his fists.
"You're leaving, aren't you? You can't bear to see the brother you abandoned on his death bed, so you're taking the cowards way out again, and running."
"You don't understand…"
"Don't understand! What's not to understand! You're a coward, plain and simple, except it's not enough to ruin your brother's life, you have to ruin my brother's too!"
"I didn't—"
"You are a weekling that shouldn't have even shown their face. By god man, you don't even have any respect for you brother's boyfriend, a brother you claimed to love and then threw that love back in his face when you abandoned everyone that you—"
"Shut up! Just shut up!"
Gilbert paused, and took a moment to study his opponent.
"You don't even care about my bro—"
"Of COUSE I love Ludwig!" Lovino screamed at the top of his lungs. "That's why I left in the first place!"
And Gilbert's mind ground to a halt.
"What?"
"I didn't abandon him. I betrayed him. He had something beautiful and I didn't want to ruin that, so I left."
"I saw the two of you—"
"He told me I was the only part of Feliciano he had left. And as much as I'd love to stay here and be with him, I can't do that to myself. Because he looks at me, and kisses me, but I know he isn't seeing me, I'm just Feli's replacement! And if I stay, he's never going to get over him."
"So you running—"
"PLEASE! Please, let me move on with my life, Gilbert. Let me let go of the memories that haunt my past. Let me leave behind the love that I don't deserve to have."
Gilbert couldn't move. He couldn't quite process what was going on, what was being said. This had to be the truth, but it couldn't be the truth because that was too painful.
"I'll be going now." Lovino's voice was soft. "The decision on what to do with Feliciano is entirely up to you, but if it were me, I'd pull the plug. Give Ludwig the same chance I have."
Gilbert nodded, his throat to dry to speak. Lovino went for the door, but hesitated.
"Gilbert, if you do decide to actually… Tell him it was me. Because this will be so much easier for him if Ludwig has someone to blame."
And then Lovino was gone and Gilbert was falling on the floor in a mixture of hate, mistrust, despair, and confusion.
.
Lovino and Ludwig first met outside the school library. Ludwig had a spare that he wanted to study in. He and Lovino had met at the door, whom at the time was simply a mildly attractive stranger, and Lovino pushed the door open and held it for Ludwig.
He'd only greeted him with a "Hey," and a soft smile before they parted ways inside the library, but Ludwig was thinking of that tender smile for the full hour he was supposed to be on spare.
When Feliciano, thinking they didn't know each other, introduced them, Ludwig saw that heart warming smile again. But when Feli continued saying that Ludwig was HIS best friend and that they were going to study together all the time, and hang out and be the bestest of friends…
The smile faded so fast that Ludwig forgot it was ever there in the first place.
And the heart that had been given a single chance to see the light slammed its doors shut and hid so far down that everyone just gave up on it.
.
"You know sir; you don't really have to be so secretive," was the voice that greeted Lovino as he stepped out of the building into the night. He turned to see a girl, maybe fourteen, leaning up against the fence. Lovino froze.
"No one's going to get mad at you for living in the church. In fact, we've wanted another resident in it for a while now."
"Really? But… why?"
"It's a church. It's there for anyone who needs it."
.
A/N: Alright, so one more chapter after this. Woot! Or possibly boo if you like this story and want it to continue.
For once I have a chapter dictated not by how long it is, but the content that needed to go in it! sooooo... YAY!
Hope you guys won't be dissapointed with the ending.
But yeaaaaaaah.
And guys, I'm gonna be bored while waiting for my Angst/Depressing creativity bar fills back up, so if you write a request for a oneshot in a review I will probably end up writing it. My only restriction is that it has to be Hetalia!
