Lost in the Darkness
Summary: "Lost in the darkness, silence surrounds you. Once, there was morning. Now, endless night. If I could reach you, I'd guide you and teach you to walk from this darkness back into the light."
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I do not own "Holding Me Down".
Warning: This is rated M for a reason. There will be language, gore, and sex. If you are not 18 and do not have parental permission (or Author Permission), DO NOT READ.
A/N: Sadly, I'm going to be starting a Cosplay shop soon. That means that the time decreases even MORE. I'm a bit inspired by the song 'Salvami' by Sonohra, which I am obsessed with. I love Italian now…Also, I know it's been way too long since I updated. I wrote and rewrote this chapter several times.
Oh, thanks go to , jadeoline, Madara74, and jcvampirebat for adding my story!
And has anyone ever taken notice of Aizen's chairs in Hueco Mundo? There is the throne in his throne room that is slightly too large for him, the spinny chair that, if you look at a spoof of Austin Powers/Bleach, manages to break and keep spinning, and the chair that looks like it could fit Aizen's Espada, Aizen, Gin, and Tousen in the stupid thing! He has too many thrones!
This chapter is dedicated to AngelQueen17, a friend of mine who has discovered my stories! Yay AngelQueen!
Chapter 7
Holding Me Down
"To hell with you, baby, keep wastin' my time."
- XXXVI -
Believe me, I hate wasting my time on nothing. This was one of the times that I was very hateful of myself. It had been useless to come with Sousuke, as he could have killed until he reached the emperor of Las Noches, Barragan Luisenbarn. I smiled slightly as I stepped in front of and to the side of Sousuke. "Barragan Luisenbarn, you are no match for the Shinigami Aizen Sousuke. He outdoes your power more than hundredfold. Stand down or be killed!" It was probably lack of judgment on Barragan's part, but he suddenly fired what was known by us as a Bala. Instinct led me to leap in front of Sousuke, taking the hit with my arms spread. The pain was quite excruciating, and I kept myself entirely still, staring up at Barragan with blatant insolence. He had no one to back him up, and Sousuke had me. Even now, I knew that the defense hadn't been necessary as Sousuke looked at me. He put a hand on my shoulder, shoving me out of the way a little more gently than his normal shows of force. I made it seem like he threw me out of the way, landing in a pained crouch with my muscles trembling. I glanced down and was halfway alarmed to see that the Bala had gotten through my Shinigami uniform on the stomach. My skin was almost scorched, but Sousuke didn't care. Barragan said nothing but rose to fight Sousuke.
It was entirely sudden, but Sousuke disappeared. I glanced up at the dais, and Barragan's arms were somewhat spread, blood coming from his chest, where I recognized a blade quite similar to that of a Zanpakutou. That had been a fast battle, and I marveled at the sight of the Arrancar that I had so long ago obeyed suddenly fall to one I had followed for no length of time in comparison. I didn't move, staring up as Sousuke shoved Barragan forward, letting him fall—alive—to the ground. He sat upon the large throne of Barragan's and I bowed my head with respect. "Rise, Adara. We must discuss how things will happen here in Hueco Mundo from now on…" Yes, so it should be. I used my arms to push myself up and rose to my full height, my muscles tensing as I prepared to leap.
- XXXVII -
As the Arrancar had awoken, they had all been tested for their strength. I had given my opinions and I had even admitted a few that were more powerful than me. Of course, they were not many, and Sousuke placed them below me. Quite soon, the limited supply had been ordered by age, followed by strength. I had learned that Sousuke had chosen the numbers 1 to 10 as the ones for the most powerful, and then 11 until 99 were for other Arrancar as they were born. Sousuke was working on tattooing the numbers for the ten most powerful onto the bodies. The other nine had already been completed, and I found myself apprehensive. However, I still approached the Arrancar who was marking the skin. I realized that it was a burn, so I tightened my jaw. Sousuke watched my eyes, and I stared back at him as I knew he would want. He smirked at the flash of pain that I was sure went through my eyes when the brander was pressed hard against my left shoulder-blade. I slipped my hands into the slits in my hakama, now wearing my Arrancar clothing. The Shinigami uniform had to be repaired either way. Finally, the pressure lifted and I could feel the residual pain. There was a permanent mark on my skin from a few seconds of pressure. I wondered where I was to go and Aizen motioned me to join him on the dais. I walked over to the stairs to the side and began to climb them, soon bowing beside the throne. "What can I do to serve Aizen-Sama?" I asked softly.
"Don't be so formal up here. None can hear us," Aizen said with his fake warmth. I nodded submissively. "How much did it hurt?" He asked, surveying my back. He traced the burn and I hissed. "Does it still hurt?" I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak without whimpering or whining. "Really…?" There was light sarcasm in his voice. My muscles contracted as he continued to trace the burn, and the contracting stretched my skin, which hurt quite a bit. I almost stepped away from him, but held myself from doing so. Finally, he dropped his hand to the arm of the throne. I looked at him.
"Those glasses aren't necessary. Maybe you should take them off." Aizen sighed at my advice and nodded, pulling them off. He folded them and set them on the arm of the chair, his reiatsu flexing strongly. I couldn't help but shrink at his overbearing reiatsu. "Adara, what would you title yourself as the best of the best?"
"Hmm…The Primera Espada."
"Why?"
"'Espada' means 'blade' or 'spade' and we are weapons at your bidding. 'Primera' means 'first' and I am the strongest to your opinion." I bowed to him with the end of that comment. He seemed pleased.
"So…Shall we see what we have?" He asked, and I knew that the proper answer was a solemn nod. He smiled coldly and rose from the throne, descending from the dais. As he walked, he spoke. "All of my ten that were just branded—my Espada—follow Adara-Kun." He let me into his mind long enough to let me know that he wanted me to lead to a meeting room. By this time, Barragan and Diogenes had been healed, and they had been branded with their numbers. All ten of us—eleven with Aizen—left for a meeting room, and I led the way. Aizen was memorizing the reiatsu signatures along the way to the room so that he could find it later. I didn't blame him. I would have to give him a full tour on what rooms were for what purposes.
- XXXIIX -
Tousen sighed as the smaller boy clung to him. "This isn't necessary, Ichimaru."
"B-b-but…Yo' can't see it…" Gin commented, shying behind Tousen and peeking out at the Hollow that was supposed to lead them to Aizen and show them around Las Noches. There was suddenly a quite familiar voice from behind the Hollow.
"That's enough," Adara said to the Hollow, walking out from behind it and looking at it with a blank expression. "Stop making them feel awkward." Her voice was firm, and she seemed far different from the amused, teasing Arrancar that Tousen remembered. The Hollow released something between a whine and a screech and left upwards, towards the hole they had entered through. The taller of the boys stepped forward with the slightly less nervous fox and Adara watched them. When they were within arm's length, she put a hand on Gin's head and one on Tousen's shoulder. "Both of you relax. Aizen-Sama got through this and this is the safest way through." She was rather happy to find that there was no one around. There was a sound akin to ripping and her feet began to rise off the ground. A yellow beam surrounded them and Gin flinched as the hard earth they were on went up in the beam. Adara pat his head and he clung to Tousen tighter. The taller of the two sighed. They were soon in a Garganta, large white hands that Adara had decided to claim control of safely placing them on the surface of the white sands only seconds later.
"Where're we goin'?" Gin asked quietly. Adara smiled slightly, dropping down beside him and pointing at the large white castle of Las Noches looming in the distance.
"See that castle?" A nod. "That is Las Noches. This is the kingdom that has looked over Hueco Mundo since the first intelligent Arrancar formed. It is where you will soon rule with Aizen-Sama if he so wishes," Adara replied softly. Tousen's face was turned to them, and Adara was sure that she sensed impatience in him. She glanced between them and Gin suddenly swayed on his feet. "Oh boy. I knew I should have brought the bands with me," she said, picking him up and grabbing Tousen by the hand. "Come on, I need to get you two there before their reiatsu completely weakens you." She began using Sonido and—wouldn't you know it?—Tousen's attempt at shunpo left him falling flat on his face. The sudden shift in weight threw Adara off and she landed flat on her back. A groan escaped her. "Okay, I'm carrying both of you."
"It isn't necessary," Tousen replied. Adara huffed, setting down a somewhat suffocating Gin and crouching in front of Tousen as he sat up.
"Wrap your arms around my neck." He held onto her neck tightly and she started with her Sonido, scooping up Gin on her way by. She heard his choking. "It's alright," she said, just relax and breathe deeply." His attempts didn't go unnoticed and he seemed to get enough oxygen that he wouldn't choke to death. Adara's quick steps assisted, as wind was forced to go down his throat. She quickly glanced at Tousen, who was faring far better than Gin at the moment. It took moments before she was leaping over the large walls of Hueco Mundo. She stopped at the doors, letting Tousen stand on his own feet and setting Gin down. Of course, Gin was still having trouble, so Tousen put a hand behind him to keep him steady. They made their way all the way to the throne room, where Adara sighed before throwing the doors open. She walked in a few steps and—without showing her respect to Aizen because she was rushing—grabbed the bands that would relieve the pressure of surrounding negative Reiatsu. She slipped it onto Gin's thin on first and he slowly seemed to be gaining where he was, while Tousen—seeing as he was larger, so it didn't affect him as much—took a deep breath. Duties taken care of, Adara turned to the dais and dropped to one knee in a bow.
Aizen had watched her rushed actions with amusement. He knew what she was doing, so he did not decide to punish her. As he sipped tea—it was bland, and he didn't particularly like it—he gazed at the two newcomers. Gin was grinning now that he knew who was around him. Well, since he knew the one in charge. He was still loosely clinging to the blind Shinigami who had chosen to remove the sleeves from his uniform. Adara assumed this was so that the sleeves wouldn't hinder him. They bowed shortly and Aizen waved it off dismissively. "You two are my equals," he said, "you needn't bow." Adara glanced at the two, knowing it was a trap but wondering if they'd fallen. Gin probably had, but Tousen was far more intelligent. There was more chance that he would see through it than falling for it. "Adara," he said to get her attention, "please get me stronger tea. This is quite a watery taste." With a bow of acceptance, Adara rushed from the room to retrieve her lord's tea.
- XXXIX -
I can't explain how annoyed I was. I knew that Sousuke was just clearing the throne room so he could talk to them alone. However, I had no choice but to obey him. As I arrived into the kitchen, I looked at the many Arrancar in the room and rolled my eyes. I picked up the teapot and filled it with as much water as I needed, putting a strainer in it and dropping crushed tea leaves into it. I set the tea over a fire to let it heat and boil. I allowed myself into my thoughts, closing my eyes as I kept focused enough to know when the water was boiling.
Sousuke was now in charge of Hueco Mundo. Hueco Mundo had been rebuilt where it had been destroyed—really it was just the throne room—and Sousuke had completely changed the way that Hueco Mundo functioned. He was still working on how to get Garganta to differentiate who came through. It would seem that, unless it was specifically his, Tousen's, or Gin's reiatsu, any positive reiatsu would be far further than before, and Arrancar reiatsu was somewhat closer. This had made the difference in getting the two Shinigami into Hueco Mundo and Las Noches. Sousuke was also far less warm—no matter how fake his warmth had been—towards me. I leaned heavily on the wall next to me, pressing my temple against the cool stone of the surface. No. It was a bit disturbing to me, but I did not know why. Perhaps I really did love him. As an Arrancar, I wondered if I could feel love. Arrancar lost their hearts when they became Hollows. Was it truly the heart that allowed one to feel? Shaking my head, I pushed that thought away.
I myself had changed. I used to be a teaser, light-hearted. I had become completely serious and a time where I could laugh was rare. I felt freer than in the Seireitei as I could run around Hueco Mundo…
Until my master called.
The sharp, piercing wail of the teapot made me grab it and pour tea into a plain white mug. I opened my eyes and set down the pot on a non-flammable surface when I was done with it. I seemed to remember that I used to fix Sousuke's tea when he was first starting. He never complained then. Perhaps he wouldn't now. Sousuke…No, Aizen was rather specific with his tastes and interests. I had learned this long ago. I walked quickly through Hueco Mundo. It wasn't far enough to the throne room that I wanted to use Sonido, and I needed time to collect myself. As I arrived, I pushed the door open and slipped in. I approached the dais, and his restricted, controlled reiatsu invited me up without words. In fact, it seemed that all discussion had stopped. I glanced at Gin and noticed with minute jealousy that he was in my spot of the throne—the right arm. However, I set his tea on the left arm and bowed before moving to leave him.
"Adara-Chan," Gin sang with a wide grin. I turned, looking at Gin. I knew he was my superior, as Aizen had stated they were equal. I quick glance allowed me to notice that Tousen was standing behind Aizen's throne, somewhat behind it yet still to the left. Gin was still grinning. "Can I 'ave sum'thin' ta drink?"
"Of course, Ichimaru-Sama," I replied, bowing to him. He seemed to be thinking while Tousen looked at me with some odd amount of pity, it seemed.
"Watah."
"Of course, Ichimaru-Sama," I repeated, bowing again to walk out. I made it to the door before I heard Aizen make a rather derogatory comment.
"Isn't she a good slave?"
I knew he was testing me. I only paused for a moment before walking out of the room. It hurt. I wouldn't lie and say that it didn't. Closing my eyes, I navigated the halls. I knew that the other Arrancar would avoid me, as I was brooding. I opened my eyes when I arrived at the kitchens and took a look around. I grabbed another mug to get cold water for the brat.
"Enjoying yourself?" Diogenes questioned with amusement, leaning on the doorframe.
"Shut up," I replied in a monotone, not really in the mood to deal with him. He didn't heed my warning. Instead, he stepped forward. He was only feet from me when he stopped and spoke again.
"You know, as soon as you become boring, you're going to be killed. Or when you're weak and useless. Maybe when you die, I'll be more important. He doesn't care about you." I was silent. "In fact, I think he hates you for knowing more about Hueco Mundo and Las Noches than he." And what did he know? "However, either way, you'll die eventually. Your loyalty will mean nothing to him when all is said and done."
"Shut up," I warned again.
"I speak only the—"he was silenced when I sent a punch to his cheek, knocking him backwards and flat on his butt. I had used a Bala in sync with the heavy hit to his face and there was a burning circle there now. He seemed to be dazed and I stepped over him with the glass of water.
"I don't care about your fucking opinion. The only time I ever want to see you is during a meeting. Otherwise, keep your ass clear of me," I said, well aware that my threat wouldn't work because I was overreacting to his comments. However, the doubt resided in me. I knew there would be a time when my use was over, and I would be disposed of one way or another. I entered the throne room moments later, ascending the dais to deliver Gin's water. He didn't thank me and just took it to sip at it. With a final bow, I intended to leave. I made it nearly to the door before I heard another voice.
"Adara," Tousen called softly.
"Yes, Tousen-Sama?"
"Take me on a tour of Las Noches." He joined me within a second with Shunpo and I bowed in acceptance, holding the door open for him. I could sense that Aizen was pleased, and it gave me a moment's elation. I followed after Tousen for a moment before he paused and I took the lead, pointing out rooms that I knew he would need to be aware of.
- XL -
Aizen sipped his tea for a few moments after Adara and Tousen left. He knew that Tousen pitied the Arrancar because she had helped him when he was in the academy. He glanced at Gin, who wasn't really drinking the water. He was looking around at the Arrancar with a mixture of fear, curiosity, and amusement. They were large and burly for the most part, it seemed, and a few of them were small figures that really didn't seem to be worth any attention. However, Aizen had tested them all the same. He smirked at Gin. "How do you feel?"
"Eh?" The question was a bit out of context.
"To be frank, I feel quite alive. To be the most important person to the survival of this world's order…" Aizen leaned back. "I suppose that is an odd way to put it, isn't it, Gin?"
"Nah," Gin replied, sensing the answer was to raise Aizen's ego. The man smirked a bit wider. He was secretly tracking Tousen and Adara, getting up moments later.
"Let's go play around with Adara and Tousen." He walked down the side of the dais, Gin following quickly. Aizen had finished his tea and Gin was carrying his water with him. Adara had spent the previous day assisting Aizen in his internal map of Hueco Mundo. Well, of Las Noches. He walked with ease and Gin wondered how he knew where to go. Aizen arrived at the control room, which had many panels and circuit boards. He sat in one of the chairs and found Tousen and Adara on the monitors. Tousen's hand was on her shoulder so that he was sure of where she was, while she was making sure that she was on the right path as well. Aizen smirked, using one finger on a circuit board to alter the path. He noticed Adara stop as though perplexed moments later. He chuckled and Gin giggled, watching as Adara turned in all directions. She and Tousen were both befuddled and Aizen turned the corridor back to normal. He chuckled again as Adara stared at the way to go. Then she glanced up and almost as if looking directly at him with a dry glare. Tousen was speaking and Adara gave a short reply before walking down the corridor and turning quickly.
Upon a few moments of watching, Aizen became aware that Adara and Tousen were headed in his direction. He smirked lightly, turning to the door. Gin sat in another chair, relaxed as he also waited. It didn't take very long before Adara threw the door open. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU—oh. Hello, Aizen-Sama…" Adara stared at him, mixed fear and surprise showing in her eyes. Aizen smirked at her.
"Adara-Kun, I need tea," he said as though it explained everything. Tousen blinked behind his dark visor as he stepped out of Adara's way and then into the room while Adara went to fetch Aizen some tea. "Kaname, Gin, we will have to go back soon. I think we should alternate who checks here on the progress that has been made. We have Adara to send back and forth just in case we cannot make it. We will see how that works, hm?" Nods. "Very good. We will leave after I finish my tea…" He paused, rather annoyed at waiting for his beverage.
