Chapter 7: Sense and Sensibility
Lorelai did not spend Christmas by herself. Instead, as she sat in the lobby of the Dragonfly decorated with candles and lights and a beautiful Christmas tree, surrounded by guests who decided they wanted to celebrate the holidays New England-style, she could not have been further from alone. As well, Sookie and Jackson were there with the kids, Davie delighting in getting under foot and Martha sneaking treats when no one was looking. Even Michel came to the inn claiming that whatever vague plans he previously made had mysteriously fallen through.
Between the music, the food, and the general Christmas Eve festivities, Lorelai could almost find herself distracted from missing Rory. Almost.
Despite being absorbed in the holiday happenings, she did notice when a certain individual peeked his head in the front door. Luke was dressed nicely in a dark gray shirt and the black jacket she had bought him so many years before. Lorelai was immediately reminded that no matter how much she liked seeing him in his usual flannel and baseball cap combo, 'GQ Luke' was a delicious treat.
"Hey!" she said, walking over to him. "You made it."
"Yeah, well..." He glanced around the inn lobby, taking in all the activity. "I just thought I'd stop in, say hello. I can't stay long... supposed to go over and see April."
"I'm glad you came," Lorelai said sincerely, allowing herself a moment to enjoy just being in his company. She had invited him to the Christmas Eve gathering figuring he already had plans, mostly because she wanted him to know he was welcome. With so much going on at the inn, Lorelai had barely had time to pop into the diner, let alone have a full-fledged conversation with him since their encounter at the gazebo. But the few times she had seen him, Lorelai thought there was something in his eyes and the way he looked at her, a familiar feeling she had long-since feared was gone.
"Um, so I got you a gift," Luke said, his hand automatically going to his pocket. The box he pulled out was small and black, like a jewelry box. Lorelai's heart automatically jumped when she saw it. "Sorry it's not wrapped," he apologized.
"Thank you, that's so sweet," she told him, honestly not having expected him to get her a gift at all. Taking a quick breath, she opened the lid to reveal a delicately crafted pewter and glass dragonfly on a silver chain. "It's beautiful..."
"Well, I saw it and thought of you," he said, ducking his head a bit in embarrassment. One thing that had always weighed on him was how much Lorelai had adored the necklace he had given her that Valentine's day at the Vineyard, the one Logan had actually bought for Rory. While he had never confessed the necklace's intended recipient, seeing her wear it had served as a constant reminder of his romantic shortcomings.
But this gift Luke had picked out himself. Well, April had been with him at the time and had offered her input, but he had been the ultimate decision-maker. It just so happened that his daughter's highest level of approval coincided with that particular necklace.
Lorelai wasted no time in taking it out of the box and moving to fasten it around her neck. Seeing her struggle with the clasp, Luke held out a hand and asked, "Can I help with that?"
She met his gaze and gave him a shy smile before surrendering the necklace and turning away from him. His fingers lightly brushed her shoulders as he brought the chain around her neck and secured the clasp in the back. When he was done, she carefully removed her hair so that the necklace could settle against her throat and then turned back to face him.
It was a ritual they had gone through on only a few occasions, when they got dressed together for some event or when Lorelai was feeling particularly seductive. At the same time, she would usually ask him to zip up the back of her dress, and he in turn would ask her to do his tie or smooth the collar on his shirt. They were small gestures, little intimacies she had gotten used to when living with a man for the first time. She could tell that he remembered them as well.
"Well, so... I got you something, too," Lorelai stammered, remembering that she had brought her gift for him on the off-chance that he came to the party. She quickly retrieved the present from under the Christmas tree, spotting Davie shaking various boxes as she did so. As she handed the gift to Luke, she smiled and said, "Merry Christmas."
Their hands touched briefly as he took the box from her, and she tried to ignore the feelings that simple contact ignited inside of her. It had been so long since they had simply touched, and she had to fight back the urge to throw her arms around him.
The gift to him was slightly less personal, mostly because Lorelai had felt odd buying him anything at all considering the fragile state of their friendship. She did not want to give him clothing, although she had found a number of shirts that would have suited him perfectly. She considered fishing and camping items but ruled against them. A book might have been just the right blend of friendly and , but considering how many of the books she had gotten him in the past sat in her garage, unread, she abandoned that notion. In the end, she retreated to an old stand-by and simply got him something she knew that he would like, hoping he would not read any unintended meaning into it.
"The Planet of the Apes DVD box set..." Luke said, chuckling as he read the title.
"I figured that's something you might enjoy. They're definitely not chick flicks," she said with confidence. "And the original is so much better than the remake. I love Mark Wahlberg, don't get me wrong, but that movie just belongs to Charlton Heston."
Luke smiled at her, glad they had slipped back into an easy sort of exchange. When he was with Lorelai, he could not help but feel lighter and more relaxed, and yet, at the same time, she drove him absolutely crazy. Ever since the first day she walked into the diner and demanded coffee, she had been turning his world on it's ear, challenging every long-held belief he had ever held. Marriage, children, relationships, family, even business. It wasn't necessarily that she changed how he reacted or dealt with things, but rather that she made him see everything in a whole new light.
When faced with the prospect of waking up next to her every morning, marriage did not seem as intimidating as it had when he had been dating Rachel. Even the idea of having a baby, once so daunting when he was with Anna, filled him with a sense of excited anticipation when he considered that any child they had together would have Lorelai as a mother. And she was a great mother, a great person in general. Whenever he messed up or got lost in himself, she was always there to pick up the slack, like on his dark day when she saved his dad's boat. So Luke knew, if he was not the best father or husband in the world, he could count on her to be there and keep him from screwing everything up.
And yet, when he found out about April, all he wanted to do was keep her out of the picture. Luke realized that this girl – his daughter – was something he had to figure out on his own. He did not want Lorelai to rescue him from a situation of his own creation, even though he knew she would be fantastic at it. She could have easily won over April and bonded Luke with his daughter with one swipe of her magic 'Mom wand,' but that was not what he wanted. He had wanted, needed to show her he could be a father all on his own. He needed to prove it to himself.
But somehow, it had all gotten turned around and he had lost her in the process. It made him wonder if perhaps he never should have had her to begin with.
"Um... well, I guess I should get going," he said.
Lorelai's disappointment was obvious as she followed him to the front door. "Are you sure you can't stay a little longer? Sookie's made all kinds of food. I'm sure if we look hard enough we can find something that's somewhat healthy..."
"I would, but... Anna's cooking this whole big thing, and April invited me over, so..." He shrugged regretfully.
"Well, wish April a Merry Christmas for me," she said softly.
"I will."
They stood for a moment just looking at each other, each having so much to say and yet neither being able to express it. They had come so far from being just the grumpy diner owner and his coffee junkie customer, and yet, the prospect of beginning their romantic relationship all over again was frightening.
"Mistletoe!"
Luke and Lorelai glanced down to see little Davie standing near them and pointing at the ceiling above their heads. Indeed, a sprig of the romantic holiday plant was suspended right above the front door. Lorelai looked at Luke, and then back at Sookie's son who stood watching them expectantly.
"Michel must have put that up. We don't... it's probably just cilantro-" was as far as she got before Luke silenced her, putting his mouth to hers in a chaste yet decidedly passionate kiss. As his lips delicately caressed hers, Lorelai's hand went to his cheek automatically. But within an instant, it was over and he was stepping back from her.
"Merry Christmas, Lorelai," he said softly before turning to leave.
"Merry Christmas," she echoed.
On Christmas morning, Lorelai was called to the inn with an emergency: the heat had gone out. And there was not a repair place within three counties willing to come out and fix it on Christmas day. Luckily, Lorelai still had Tom's cell phone number, and through him she was able to track someone open for emergencies. After receiving word that the repairman was on his way, she made a general announcement to the guests who had assembled around the fire in the main lobby in an effort to stay warm. She also made another apology and refunded half the price of their rooms before inviting them all to share in the breakfast Sookie had come in to whip up.
Afterwards, as the two inn owners stood at the desk together lamenting their bad luck, Lorelai said, "I'm sorry you had to come out here on Christmas morning. Why don't you go back home and be with Jackson and the kids?"
Sookie shrugged dismissively then leaned in as though to tell a secret. "Actually, I don't mind the break at all. Davie got us up at five o'clock this morning to open presents, and then Martha woke up, so none of us could go back to sleep. By six o'clock the living room was buried in wrapping paper and the kids were playing with their toys. Loud toys. I don't know what Jackson was thinking, buying the kids things that make noise. We should have gotten them books and puzzles. I'm telling you, when you got Rory, you were blessed."
Lorelai smiled at the memories of her own Christmas mornings with Rory – complete with books and puzzles. "I was," she agreed. "Except when they go to college, those books weigh a ton."
"But I suppose I should get back. Hey, do you want to come spend the day with us? Jackson's family is coming over later, but I'm sure you can escape before then."
"That's okay," Lorelai said. "I think I'll just stay here and make sure everyone's comfortable until the heat gets fixed."
"Well call me if you need anything," her friend stated firmly.
But just as Sookie was leaving, one of the guests approached Lorelai, a tall man she seemed to remember being in Hartford on some sort of business trip. They had met the night before at the party, and he stuck in her mind because he was traveling alone and had chosen to stay at the inn precisely because of their holiday festivities.
"Great job handling the heating crisis," he said amiably. "Two years ago I had a plumbing emergency and I had to call everyone in the book to get someone to come out."
"Well, that's one of the benefits of living in a small town," Lorelai said. She had actually almost considered calling Luke, but in the end decided not to because she did not want to spoil his day with April.
"Yes, I'm definitely beginning to understand the concept of small town charm," the man said warmly, almost flirtatiously. After making more small talk, he reintroduced himself as Elliot Chandler and invited her to have breakfast with him. They sat and talked through the morning with Lorelai focusing mostly on her experiences at the inn and raising Rory in Star's Hollow. Elliot revealed that while he was a resident of New York, he had a young son from a previous marriage who lived with his ex-wife in Seattle. Because he was only able to see the boy every other year at Christmas, every "off-year" he chose to travel for business to keep his mind off it.
As they spoke, Lorelai could not help but find herself attracted to this man. He was good looking, smart, articulate, well-dressed, and he obviously loved his son. And yet, in so many respects, he was just like so many of the other men she had dated. Elliot's sense of humor was frequently dry and self-deprecating the way Jason's had been. His style of dress and overall educational background closely paralleled those of Max. And the easy way he slipped into light conversation reminded her overwhelmingly of Christopher. However, the one man he did not bring to mind was Luke Danes, except perhaps in his obvious devotion to his son.
As they finished breakfast and Lorelai got up to go check on the heating repairman, Elliot startled her by saying, "Maybe we could do this again sometime. You know, when it's not Christmas and there aren't icicles hanging off the ends of our noses."
"Um..." she began, not sure how to disappoint his hopeful expression. Finally, she just decided to be truthful. "I appreciate the offer and you're a really nice guy..."
"But?" he asked, sensing her hesitation.
"To be completely honest, I just recently got out of relationship with someone. And... I'm just not ready to start dating again."
He nodded his understanding and they parted amicably, but Lorelai stayed in Elliot's thoughts long after she left the room.
"So, Luke, are you coming to my New Year's Eve party?" Miss Patty asked saucily, sitting with Babette at the diner two days later. "I'm making my famous punch."
"When have you ever seen me come to one of your parties?" Luke replied, even as he worked the cash register and distributed change to one of his customers. The town's twin gossips had, characteristically enough, chosen the busiest part of the morning to harass him about whatever came to mind.
"You went to the party last year," Babette pointed out immediately. "Lorelai made you go, remember?"
"I remember," Luke sighed. Ever since she had broken up with Christopher, everyone in town had been dropping veiled hints about them getting back together. Kirk had even gone so far as to start a betting pool as to the exact date of the reconciliation. And try as he might, no one would believe him when he said they were just friends, that they had tried the relationship thing, but it just hadn't worked out for them.
"You know, if you want to make Lorelai jealous, I know a single mother who's daughter is in one of my classes," Patty said, her voice dripping with insinuation. "I'm sure she'd love to ring in the new year with you."
"I have no desire to make Lorelai jealous, and I can get my own dates, thank you very much," he responded with annoyance.
"Suga', you haven't dated anyone since you two broke up," Babette interjected helpfully. "If you're not going to get back together, you should put yourself out there."
Patty added, "And if you decide to get back together later on, say around March 3rd, you can always have a little fun in the mean time."
"No, it should be on Valentine's day," the other woman advised him. "February 14th! Can't wait too long. Lorelai isn't going to stay single forever. We all know she doesn't waste any time between boyfriends."
He could feel his anger at the intrusion in his personal life growing exponentially with every passing minute. Sometimes living in Star's Hollow really did equate to living in a fish bowl, and for someone as attached to his privacy as Luke was, even friendly needling from the local gossips felt like unwanted interference.
"Look," he said. "Who I date and who Lorelai dates is no one's business. And if Lorelai finds someone who can make her happy, good for her. No one deserves it more. But she and I are just friends."
Thankfully, a tourist entered at that moment and he was able to escape the conversation by taking the man's order at the counter. "Coffee, french toast, and sausage," he read back. "Anything else?"
"Actually, I know this is going to sound strange, but do you know the woman who owns the Dragonfly?" Elliot Chandler asked. He had just finished his meeting in Hartford and was on his way back to the inn to check out. While part of him had recognized the truth in Lorelai's statements about not being ready to date, he was also curious to see if her small town had any contrary thoughts that might give him hope.
Luke was instantly on guard. "Yeah, why do you want to know?"
"Well, I asked her out yesterday and she turned me down, said she had just broken up with someone. And I was just wondering if that was just a brush off line she tells everyone or if maybe I had some chance with her..."
It was at that moment that Luke reached his breaking point. Pointing at Babette and Patty, he said hotly, "They put you up to this, didn't they?"
He ignored the confusion on the man's face and interrupted him as he started to say, "Uh... no, I just-"
"Listen up, I have a general announcement!" Luke called out to the whole diner. "Lorelai and I are just friends. We're not dating. We're not engaged. And no one is going to get us back together just to win some bet that Kirk has going on. And if any of you ever try something like this again-" He pointed to Elliot, "-I'm banning you from the diner. Permanently!"
With that, he turned and went into the kitchen, leaving everyone to stare after him in curiosity.
Babette stood up and placed a sympathetic hand on Elliot's shoulder. "Suga', you have about as good a chance with Lorelai Gilmore as you do with that Angelina Jolie-gal. Give up and go home. Those two are meant for each other."
To get her mind off of Rory's absence and the resulting holiday loneliness, Lorelai decided to do the one thing that usually tended to boost her spirits. She went shopping.
Either fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one viewed her circumstances, Lorelai ended up in a sea of sale-seekers and bargain-hunters, as well as a number of simple gift-returners. It was precisely the kind of situation Rory would have enjoyed mocking with her, had she been there. And on the other side of the coin, she could almost hear Luke going into a well-deserved "mall rant" indicting commercialism as the root of all evil.
And then, she did hear precisely that. Except, the mini Luke-rant that came to her ears was spoken by someone else.
"We spend way too much money on stuff. What does everyone need with all this stuff, anyway? It just sits around gathering dust, and then we have to clean it and move it around and clean it again. And after a few years we run out of room, so we have to get rid of it, either by throwing it away or by giving it to people who don't have enough stuff. It's materialism run amock."
"You've been spending way too much time with Luke," Anna Nardini concluded, although she grinned at her daughter in amusement.
For her part, Lorelai only had a moment of time to register the mother and daughter walking towards her before April spotted her. "Lorelai!" she shouted, rushing over to her.
"Hey. How are you?" she greeted the girl politely.
"I'm okay. I had a headache earlier, but I think that was from eating ice cream too fast. Why I ordered ice cream in the middle of December, I don't know, but it sounded really good at the time. What about you? How was your Christmas?"
"My Christmas was good," Lorelai said, ignoring Anna's unfriendly stance and icy stare. "How about yours? Did you get everything on your list?"
"Well, I didn't really have a list this year," April replied thoughtfully. "That always seemed kind of presumptuous, to just make a list. But I did get everything I wanted. Well, almost everything. There's still one or two things I was hoping for that haven't happened yet, but I'm working on them."
"That's good," Lorelai said, although she was far too distracted by Anna to give the girl's rambling words much thought. "I guess I should let you and your mom get back to shopping," she offered with a timid smile to April's mother.
"Thanks," Anna said, flashing her own fake smile in response. "We've still got a lot to do."
"Okay, well, tell Rory I'm almost done with her book," April said. "I'll leave it at Luke's and he can give it to you the next time you come to the diner, if I don't see you before that. Hey, maybe sometime you, me, Rory, and Luke can go do something again, like go bowling or get something to eat. Well, somewhere besides diner, which - don't get me wrong, I love the diner – but maybe somewhere different, you know?"
A subtle mixture of emotions crossed Anna's face in that moment, including surprise, jealousy, and carefully controlled anger. Her expression was not lost on Lorelai.
"Um... I think that's something you should talk over with your parents first," she advised April cautiously.
"Oh, I don't think Luke will mind. He really likes it when you come to the diner," the teenage girl said, dropping her voice to a lower octave just to make the insinuation clear.
"Well, let's just see how it goes," Lorelai said, growing ever more fearful of the twitch that had developed at the corner of Anna's mouth. She had no wish to get Luke in trouble with his daughter's mother again, or to get herself in trouble, for that matter. "It was nice running to you," she concluded, being sure to give Anna a friendly nod as well before continuing on her way.
Anna and April were not even out of earshot yet before the girl's mother began grilling her about how much time she had been spending with Luke's ex-fiance.
"What about her?"
"No."
"You're right. She doesn't look like your type. Her?"
"Patty, I already said it about five times. No."
"Oh, come on, you didn't even look."
She held up the picture once again for Luke's inspection, a small pile of discarded photos already littering the diner table. With the Christmas season over and most of her students on their way back to school, Miss Patty had started a project with the intent of not only entertaining herself but hopefully improving the lives of everyone else in town. She wanted to get Luke a date.
Ideally, she preferred him dating Lorelai, but there was still plenty of time for that. And the poor man needed some female companionship beyond that daughter of his.
"Patty, I'm not doing this with you," Luke said warningly.
"Well of course you're not," she returned flirtatiously. "If you were, we wouldn't need all these pictures, would we?"
"Jeez..." he muttered, walking away.
Miss Patty had been bugging him every day since Christmas about finding a date for her New Year's Eve party. No matter how many times he explained to her he had no interest in dating anyone or attending her little soirée, she just redoubled her efforts. She pointed out women on the street, brought in pictures of women she thought he might like, and she even threatened to bring in the women themselves.
"Wow, you sure know a lot of single women," he had told her at one point. "I think you missed your true calling."
"As a matchmaker?" she had asked.
"As a brothel owner."
Unfortunately, his comment had only made her laugh and wink at him saucily. It occurred to Luke that almost nothing was going to deter Patty from this dating venture she had set her mind on, which was odd considering he knew she had money in Kirk's "Luke/Lorelai Make Up" pool.
But his mind was taken off those issues when he noticed Anna walk through the front door of the diner. She was alone and she looked angry, just like the day she had found out Lorelai had helped him with April's birthday party. Except this time, she did not take him upstairs to yell at him but rather started almost the moment she walked into the room.
"Do you have any idea what you're subjecting my daughter to?" she demanded.
Luke was completely confused as he asked, "Anna, what are you talking about?"
"I'm her mother. You can't just completely ignore what I say!" she continued to rant. "If I say I don't want her around someone, then that's what I mean! And maybe you should consider that when I tell you something like that, it's for a good reason and not just because I'm trying to make your life harder."
"Anna-" he tried again, beginning to understand what she was talking about.
"No, don't 'Anna' me. And don't give me that speech about being her father and how she can be around anyone you want her to be around," she exclaimed.
She either did not notice or did not care that every eye in the diner was now glued on her and Luke as they argued.
"Since when do you get to make the rules about who April sees and doesn't see?" Luke exploded. "It's not like I'm letting her hang out with drug dealers and prostitutes on the street corner. When April's here, at the diner, she's going to be around people who come in. This is a diner. Customers order the food. I cook the food. Customers eat the food. That's what a diner is, in case you haven't noticed. If she's here, she's going to be around the customers."
"I'm not talking about customers. I'm talking about your ex-girlfriend. Your sister is one thing, and I still have some misgivings about that, but letting April spend time with and bond with your ex-girlfriend is something entirely different."
"Hey, wait a second-"
"Because we ran into her at the mall, April and I. And imagine my surprise to hear about all the time April has been spending with this woman, who I specifically told you I didn't want her to be around," Anna said angrily.
"Lorelai is a friend-"
"She's your ex-girlfriend!" she interrupted. "And you're letting her become a part of April's life. What happens the next time you two have a fight and stop speaking to each other? Do you really want to put April in the middle of that? Do you have any idea how crushed she'd be? April becomes very attached to people and I don't want her getting hurt by this on-again, off-again relationship you have going on with this trampy ex-girlfriend of yours."
Stunned silence met Anna's last remark even as Luke's blood heat to a boiling point. Patty, who had been watching the exchange with as much wide-eyed curiosity as everyone else in the diner, involuntarily leaned back in her seat as she waited for his response.
Luke did not disappoint.
"First of all, April's my daughter. I would never intentionally hurt her or bring her pain. But she's thirteen years old, Anna. You can't protect her forever, and you certainly can't protect her from losing people she's close to. That is just going to happen. It's a part of life." As he spoke, his voice started to gradually build until he was very nearly shouting at her. "As for who I'm allowed to let her see, like you said, I'm her father. I have just as much right to her as you do. But really, I she's old enough to decide for herself who she wants to spend time with. You can't pick and choose her friends her entire life, Anna. And as for my relationship with Lorelai, that is none of your business. But for your information, Lorelai and I are friends. I have known her for over ten years, and she's probably the best influence anyone could have on a teenage girl!"
"Really, the woman who got pregnant at sixteen is a good influence on my daughter?" Anna said sarcastically.
"Yes, absolutely," Luke replied instantly. "Because even though she made a mistake, she owned up to it and did everything in her power to give Rory the best life she possibly could. And Lorelai not only raised her daughter and sent her to a fancy Ivy League school, she put herself through school. She started her own successful business. She's a leader in this community and the best friend I've ever had!" Remembering the rest of her diatribe, he added, "And the next time you want to call someone a tramp, you should consider the fact that April had to run DNA tests on three men to find out who her father was."
Even if Anna had a response to Luke's explosion, it would have been drowned out by the applause that suddenly erupted from the diner patrons, most of whom were town members and knew Lorelai personally. Somehow, in the middle of shouting at each other, they had forgotten their unwitting audience.
"This isn't over," she told Luke sharply before turning to leave.
"You're sure as hell right about that," he shot back.
But once she had gone and the diner atmosphere had returned to normal, he still found himself staring angrily out the window as her words replayed over and over again in his mind. To distract himself, he concentrated on his work and went to Patty's table to refill her coffee.
"That was some scene," the dance instructor said.
"Yeah, well..."
"You certainly stood up for Lorelai."
Luke sighed in annoyance at his complete and utter lack of privacy. He felt like he was constantly under a microscope, being watched and examined by everyone – the town, April, and now even Anna. He especially hated reliving his problems with Lorelai through everyone's less-than-vague insinuations and comments.
Without warning, he reached down and randomly picked up one of the scattered pictures of single women Patty had been going through at her table. He barely registered that the woman was a pretty brunette before handing the photograph to Patty. "Her," he said curtly. "Get me her name and phone number and I'll ask her out for New Year's."
Patty smiled widely at the choice despite the fact that she noticed he had barely even looked at the picture. "Oh, you won't be sorry, honey. This one's a very nice girl." And as he walked away, she said to herself, "Just the perfect rebound date for you."
