I found a piano.
I was more surprised that I hadn't noticed it before, actually. It wasn't hidden or tucked away in some dark room in the district. It was across from the cafeteria in the hallway. I saw it one day when I was headed to lunch with Kyler. I stopped walking entirely at the sight of it. It was old and covered in a thin layer of dust. I stood there staring at with my mouth hung open like an idiot as Kyler started at me, like I was utterly insane.
"Madge, are you okay?" He asked me, placing his hand on my arm gently.
I blinked and was immediately pulled out of my trance. "Huh? What?"
He smiled at me. "You're staring at the piano like it's the first time you've ever seen one in your life or something."
I forced a half smile on my face. "No, it's not that." I turned back towards it then.
He looked at it for a moment and then snapped his fingers. "Wait. In the games, you said you play, right? You said you play the piano."
I swallowed hard. Well, I did play the piano. Back in the comfort of my house in District Twelve. Back when my father was alive and could hum along to the tunes I played. Back when I could run my finger through our shelf of music books full of sheet music. Back when I played hundreds of beautiful songs that never got old or boring. Back when my life was better.
"Not anymore." I mumbled. "Come on, let's get to lunch." I said as I pushed him into the cafeteria with me. He had tried to bring up the topic a few times more but I dismissed it. It wasn't something I was ready to deal with it yet.
That was a week ago. Everyday, I would walk past it and my heart would ache to feel my fingers on those keys. I dreamed of creating beautiful melodies again. I yearned for it. But I wasn't strong enough. And my fear kept me as far away from that dusty old piano as possible. Fear has a way of paralyzing you like that.
As I headed to lunch now, I walked past it quickly, trying my best to not even look at the cursed thing. Kyler's shift was ending in the kitchen and we were going to hang out. I spotted Gale sitting in the corner of the cafeteria with his family. Posy was sitting next to him, showing him a picture book of some kind. He was nodding along. I swallowed hard as he looked up and made eye contact with me. He held my gaze for a moment before dropping it entirely and returning his attention to the book and his sister. I sighed. At least he no longer had to be locked up. At least he no longer hated me entirely. At least he was trying to trust us. That was a start, right?
Of course, Coin had wanted to make Propo's the second she heard Gale was going to help us. She had been very eager about the entire thing. Too eager, in my opinion. His brother had nearly died and all she cared about was shoving him in front of a camera to have him declare that he was on the rebels side. Haymitch and Finnick had been able to talk her into giving Gale a week. Just one week to relax without the cameras and pressure. We didn't want to push him too far, anyways. He may have been better but he wasn't back to normal, by any means. He could freak out at any moment and try to kill us for all we knew.
"Hey, Rebel. Ready for me to destroy you in a game of cards?" Kyler's voice kicked me out of my trance. I blinked and smiled at the blond haired boy who was now in front of me. He still had his apron on and it was soaked with soapy water. I eyed him curiously and he rolled his eyes. "I had to wash dishes tonight."
I snorted. "I thought you were a chef? Did you get demoted to maid?" I asked teasingly.
He stood up a little straighter and put on a dramatic accent. " No. I am a chef. Actually, it's Chef Kyler Mellark, to you, mam." He said with a wink.
I let out a loud laugh and Kyler smirked. "Sorry, Chef Kyler Mellark." I said through another fit of giggles. "Let's go play some cards so you I can see you cry when you lose."
Kyler tickled my side and I laughed again, pushing him off of me. We started walking towards the door and when I turned back around for a moment, I saw Gale watching us carefully, his expression unreadable but intense all the same. I blinked quickly and turned back around, swallowing hard and ridding all thoughts of him.
We sat on the floor of Kyler's room, our cards sprawled before us. I shuffled the pile in my hands before laying one of them down. Kyler played a card on top of mine. "So," He began before he slapped down another card. "Did you hear that the Capitol is offering loads of money for your capture? For any of the rebels captures, actually."
I slapped down a card on top of his. I shrugged and tried to play the brave girl. "Doesn't matter. They know we are here but they won't come and get us. They won't declare war on Thirteen. We have the nuclear weapons. Do they want somebody else to come and try to capture us? Well, good luck with that." I said with fire in my lungs.
"How do you know they won't come? We are weeks away from a war anyways." Kyler asked before he played a winning card on top of mine. He threw his fist up into the air and did a silent cheer for himself.
"First of all, you're a dork." I said teasingly before gathering all the cards to shuffle them. "And second of all, I just know! I'm a genius, after all."
"A genius who just got smashed in this game." Kyler said with a proud grin.
"I was too busy answering your silly questions!" I said with a smile of my own. "Let's play again and we will see who gets smashed."
We played cards for the remainder of the evening but something wasn't sitting right with me after Kyler's comments. It was the idea that possibly, the Capitol would come and capture us. Was it possible that we weren't even safe in District Thirteen? Well... where were we safe then?
It wasn't until I was trying to sleep later on that I really let the fear get to me. I tossed and turned in bed as I tried to think this through. Mutually Assured Destruction. That was how Haymitch explained it all to me on the first day that we came here. The Capitol and Thirteen stayed away from each other because they knew that a fight between them would result in complete and utter destruction of the entire nation. Of course, we were planning a war already but nothing on the level of nuclear weapons. If the Capitol came to thirteen, they would be declaring a nuclear war. And that would be deadly for everybody involved. The Capitol wasn't dumb enough to risk everything just to get us rebels in their capture, were they?
I was shaking. My teeth were chattering. I was scared to death. Suddenly and without thinking it through, I raced out of my bedroom door and down the hall. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked down the cool and dark hallway that led to the cafeteria. It was near midnight. When I spotted the dusty piano, I knew what I had to do. It had been a source of comfort for me my entire life. When I was sad, angry, or even scared. And right then, I was terrified. I was terrified out of my mind and I knew I needed to play again. I knew it would bring me the comfort I was looking for.
I took slow and steady steps towards it, my heart beating outside of my chest. The floor creaked as I got closer and closer. I touched the edge of the shiny black piano and my hand came back covered in dust. I dangled my finger over the keys, touching them without making them sound. I sat down on the cushioned black seat. I swallowed back the lump that was already forming in my throat.
I had spent the last two months trying to separate myself from my past. I had cut off all my hair, I had lost my home, I was fatherless, lonely, broken. And the piano was part of that past. But sometimes, your past has to blend with the present. Sometimes, you have to go back in time and dig out the memory, no matter how painful. Sometimes, you have to bleed in order to heal.
I knew a song. A song my father had taught me when I was very young. It was simple, really. Just a few keys. But it was beautiful, haunting, majestic. I was already starting to cry by the time I let my finger press down on the first key. The sound rang out and echoed in the hallway. I smiled at the beautiful noise that it made. I had missed that sound. My fingers danced over to the next key and then the next and then the next. I was playing the song! I was playing it!
The song reminded me of nothing but my father. He was everywhere as I played. He was there as I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music. He was chasing me in our garden out back. He was sitting with me at the table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper as I did my homework. He was holding my hand as I walked across the road when I was much younger. He was there. He was in the song. He was the song.
I cried as I played but yet, I didn't want to stop playing. It was sad, of course. But it was freeing at the same time. I was freeing myself of the pain. I was letting go. I was letting the music bring relief to the dull ache in my chest. It was time. It was time to say goodbye. And goodbye didn't mean I had to forget. Goodbye just meant I had to realize that it was okay to move on with my life. It was okay to be happy again.
I hit the last key and my finger lingered, letting the note ring out for much longer then it needed to. I wiped at my eyes before letting my hands slip away from the keys all together. I was met with the haunting silence of the night.
"That was impressive." A voice said hoarsely.
My head whipped to the side. I hadn't realized I had an audience. I stood up at the sight of Gale before me. I must've woke him up with my playing. "Gale, you scared me." I said, putting my hand to my chest.
"Where did you learn to play the piano?" He asked me before taking a step forward and placing his hand on the edge of it, like I had done only moments ago.
I wiped at my face again. "My father. When I was very young."
He nodded but kept his eyes on the piano. "He died, right? Trying to save you, he died." His voice wasn't condensing. Instead, it was soft and quiet.
I swallowed. "Yes."
"You must be pretty special. I apparently was willing to die for you and so was your father." Gale said quietly, a sad smile playing on the edges of his lips.
I looked up at him. "So you believe me? About the games?"
He sighed and met my eyes for the first time. "I think so. I don't know, Madge. It's the weirdest thing. I don't remember any of it. I really don't. But... I believe you. You remember how you saved my life? And I didn't believe you when you said I was outside of the district?" I nodded my head. He continued. "Well, once I saw the Capitol for what they really are, I realized you were right. I remember now. I was outside of the district hunting and I got caught. You made up some lie about a necklace that got me out of trouble and then you took me to the hospital." He smiled at me.
"You were brainwashed. Your brain didn't want to remember the truth because it didn't fit with what the Capitol told you. But once you saw the truth about them, you saw the truth about that day as well." I explained for him.
"But how come I don't remember any of the games?" He asked, frustrated.
"They didn't just brainwash you. They took away your memory of the games entirely so you wouldn't remember whose side you were really on." I said with a sigh. "I just wish I could make you remember."
"Me too." Gale replied softly, locking his eyes with my own. He swallowed and said, "Anyways, that song you just played was... it was beautiful."
I smiled. "Thank you." I wanted to say more but I was still stuck on the way the word beautiful had slipped past Gale's lips.
He nodded his head and then opened his mouth to say something. He closed it again and shook his head, changing his mind. Then, he opened it again, letting the words out this time. "So... why did you do it?"
I cocked my head to the side slightly. "Why did I do what?"
He took a small step towards me, his eyes glued to my own. "Save me with the necklace thing. All those years ago. You didn't know me. We weren't friends. So, why did you save me?"
I gave him a soft smile before I replied. "Because," I began, "You needed to be saved. And no matter who you were or where you came from, you deserved that. Everybody... everybody deserves to be saved sometimes, Gale."
He nodded his head but didn't say anything else for a few moments. And then, quietly, he said, "Have a good night, Madge." He turned and walked away then, leaving me standing there in the dark, the sound of the music still echoing through my head, running through my veins, pumping through my blood.
It didn't occur to me until I was back in my room and under my covers that Gale had just spoken to me like a normal person. It was almost like... it was almost like it used to be. He didn't remember the games or falling in love with me, but he still trusted me. He still believed me.
But I had to make him remember. I had to make him remember that he loved me just as heartbreakingly as I loved him.
I had to save him again. One last time.
Perhaps I shouldn't have been sneaking around. Perhaps that's why I heard what I heard in the first place. But nonetheless, I heard it. And I couldn't take that back. It happened early in the morning. I was sure nobody else was even awake yet. I slipped out of Peeta's bed and into the hall. We had been sleeping in the same bed again. Ever since our... kiss in the storage room. If you even called that a kiss. Because it was definitely more than just a kiss. It was much more.
But I didn't have time to decipher it. I had to get to the stupid showers. I was waking up early to get to the showers first. It seemed trivial, yes, but I hated having to take one when there was a hundred other girls waiting. I liked avoiding the crowd. I was just passing Command when I heard Coin on the phone. I slipped against the wall so I could listen without being seen. I only caught one side of the conversation of course.
"-and if we let them stay here?" Coin's voice said into the phone.
"I understand that but you listen to me. This is bigger than the rebels now. You are putting my life at risk now. You are putting the lives of every thirteen resident at risk!" She yelled.
"We are talking about a nuclear war!"
"My loyalty can only stretch so far. I have to draw the line somewhere, do you understand that? Because clearly, you're not grasping that concept."
"Well, fine. But if I get word that the Capitol...yes... of course...alright. Just know one thing, if this all falls apart, I am blaming you. Good day."
She slammed the phone down on the table. I heard her heels clacking and I ran off before she could come out and see me. Forget the shower. I had bigger issues now. As I walked towards Finnick and Annie's room, I tried desperately to make sense of what I had heard. Something was happening. Something that apparently was putting everybody's life at risk and Coin wanted us to leave. Something about a nuclear war. I sighed and picked up my pace, practically running to his room. I banged on the door a few times. Silence. I rolled my eyes and banged again. After another few minutes, the door opened.
Finnick, wearing nothing but his underwear, opened the door. His hair was disheveled and he had clearly been sleeping from the way he could barely open his eyes. And although I wasn't exactly attracted to Finnick, I still blushed at the sight of him practically naked in front of me.
He glared at me through his sleepy eyes. "It is five am. What the hell are you doing, Katniss?" He groaned his words.
I smiled at him innocently. "Sorry to wake you up. Actually, I'm not sorry. Because I just heard what could potentially be the most important conversation I could ever hear. I need to talk to you."
"At five am? You need to talk to me at five am?" He asked me, his voice thick with sleep.
"Yes, Finnick. Now get out here and talk to me, would you?"
He rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him as he walked out into the hall. "You could've done this at like eight or nine or ten, even."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you need more beauty sleep?"
"No. But you could clearly use some." He snapped back, motioning at my current state. I caught myself in the reflection of his door and cringed. My hair was falling out of my pony tale, my eyes had huge bags under them from lack of sleep, and my shirt was falling off of my shoulder. I was a mess.
"Good morning to you too, sunshine. Now, let me talk." I said as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. I took a deep breath and then began, I heard Coin on the phone with someone. From what I gathered, she is thinking of kicking us out because for whatever reason, she is risking the lives of all the thirteen residents and herself if she allows us to stay here any longer. I heard something about a Nuclear war and something about the Capitol." I stood up a little taller after I finished. I was proud of myself, honestly. I had done something useful for once.
Finnick stared at me, completely un-fazed by my words. He blinked once, appearing utterly bored and then clapped his hands together. "Right. Well, now that you've told me something I already knew, can I go back to bed?"
He went to open his door and I grabbed his arm, yanking him back over to me. "What? What do you mean you already knew that?"
He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Katniss," He hissed, "We knew before we even came here that it was a risk. We knew it wasn't permanent, by any means. We knew the Capitol would eventually break their little treaty with Thirteen and come try to capture us, okay? But this was the best option we had until we figured everything out. I'm well aware of the fact that the Capitol is offering up a very generous amount of money for our capture. They need us to scare the districts again. They need to kill us on national television. They need us now more than ever and they will do anything to get us. Even openly declare a nuclear war with Thirteen, which will be massively destructive. Look, we were going to tell you guys all this at a meeting later."
I shook my head. "We don't have a meeting later."
"It's a secret meeting. One without Coin." He sighed and then said, "Look, we will just talk about this later, alright? Go be annoying somewhere else."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're a world class jerk when you don't sleep enough."
This got him to smirk. "Only with you, beautiful. I'll talk to you later." His voice was softer now. He opened the door and stepped back inside his room. He spun around on his heel with a huge smile. "Oh, and Katniss?"
"What?"
He leaned against the door frame in a dramatic and seductive pose. "Did you find my outfit... distracting?" He winked at me and I busted out in laughter.
"I'm only human, Finnick." I said through my laughter. "I'll see you later." I waved at him as I walked away.
Because nobody could wait any longer, (apparently the entire world would crumble if Gale didn't start doing Propos immediately) we were finally filming our first Propo with the final member of the Fantastic Six. Gale's week grace period had come to an end. I was nervous for him, to say the least. How would he react? What if he snapped and tried to choke someone to death? What if he snapped and tried to choke me to death?
We all gathered on the set and stood in front of the stupid green screen again. We weren't allowed to film another Propo in the districts because of heighten security. We stood in a straight line, Finnick was at one end next to Katniss with Peeta on her other side. Then there was Me, Gale, and then Haymitch.
We all stood there awkwardly, adjusting our shirts and smoothing over our pants and fixing our hair. Basically, we were doing anything to keep ourselves busy. Eventually, the Camera Man came out to give us some direction. He began to speak but the set was loud and crowded with people. We couldn't hear a single word he was saying. Finally, some genius walked over and gave him a microphone. He tapped it twice before he spoke.
"Hello, Fanastic Six! This is our first Propo featuring all of you! We want a very basic shot. Simplicity speaks volumes. We are going to have you all join hands and walk forward, hand in hand, linked together as one. Because you are one! You are the Rebels! We will edit this piece later with some different backdrops, hence the green screen behind you. Shall we begin? Join hands!"
I cursed him right then and there inside of my head. I cursed him and Coin and this entire Propo and the rebellion because, really? I was supposed to grab Gale's hand? The last time I had touched him... well, the last time I touched him I thought I would never see him again. I thought he was dying so I could live. I thought I was losing the only boy I had ever fallen in love with.
I looked over at Gale now and wondered how we had managed to come this far in such little time. How we had started of the games as enemies, then grew into friends, then into something resembling lovers, then we lost it all. And now... now we were... well, I wasn't sure what we were anymore.
Gale turned and caught me staring. I swallowed hard and together, we glanced down at our hands. Slowly he reached for mine. When he found it, his fingers interlaced with my own, holding onto my hand tightly. The warmth it shot through me was immediate and overwhelming. I looked back up at his face but he wasn't looking at me. Instead, his eyes were fixed on our hands, his eyes glazed over and his brow furrowed. It was like he wasn't even there, though. It was like he was somewhere else... somewhere far away in his mind. After a moment, he blinked and let go of my hand quickly, flinging it away from him. It was as if my hand had suddenly became a hot flame that you jump away from. We hadn't even started rolling yet.
"I can't do this!" He yelled, shaking his head and stepping out of the line. We all stared at him, our mouths hung slightly open.
I took a step towards him. "Gale," I whispered.
"No!" He yelled, his voice strained. "I... I can't do this. I'm sorry." He looked at me and then to the camera man. "I'm sorry." He repeated quietly before he walked off the set entirely, leaving the rest of us in his trail, dazed and confused. I could still feel the warmth of his hand in my own. I cradled it in my other hand, as if it were a newborn baby.
"What just happened?" Peeta leaned over and whispered into my ear.
I sighed and shook my head. "I have no idea. He grabbed my hand and then freaked out."
Peeta hand squeezed my shoulder. "Maybe he just needs more time."
"Or maybe there's not enough time in the world to make him come back entirely." I whispered.
Because it was true, wasn't it? I was just playing pretend if I actually thought things were going to get miraculously better with Gale all the sudden. Maybe I was just too scared to see the truth. There was a large possibility that Gale would never come back to himself. He would never remember the games or his love for me and I would spend the rest of my life wishing he had.
We had to cancel the Propo for the evening, which didn't make Coin very happy. In fact, she was fuming. Oh, well. We had no control over Gale's emotions. I certainly didn't. One minute, he was complimenting me on my piano and using the word beautiful and talking to me like I mattered and the next, he was running away at the simplest touch of my hand. I just wanted Gale back. All of him. Every single part. Even the parts that drove me crazy.
Actually...especially the parts that drove me crazy.
I tried to head back to my room to sleep but Peeta grabbed me and told me we had a meeting. When I told him I wasn't in the mood to get yelled at by Coin, he smirked and said she wasn't invited. This got my attention. A half hour later, we all gathered in some back storage room that Peeta had found. He kept exchanging these looks with Katniss that had her practically blushing, however. And Katniss wasn't one to really blush.
Haymitch and Finnick had managed to convince Gale to join us in our secret, little meeting. He walked in but wouldn't meet my eyes. I stood up a little taller and told myself to get over it. We clearly had more important things to discuss.
Haymitch began to speak once Katniss shut the door behind us. "Alright, as some of you may know, the Capitol is sick and tired of waiting for somebody else to capture us. They have raised the reward for our capture but I don't think that gives us much time. They know very well if they come to District Thirteen to try and get us, they are breaking their deal with Thirteen and openly declaring a nuclear war. Nobody wants that. Not even the Capitol. There would be little to no survivors. However, that seems to be their big master plan at the moment. They need us back desperately to put order back into the country. If we stay here in Thirteen any longer, we are risking more lives than our own."
Katniss stepped forward. "Well, where can we go?"
He sighed. "Let me finish first, would you?" Katniss narrowed her eyes at him but nodded her head anyways. "Thank you." He said. "Now, we knew coming here to Thirteen was never a permanent option. Finnick and I saw it as more of a... holding cell for where we really wanted to go. We had much more research to do, however. We had many more phone calls to make, many more secrets to keep. So, we came here first. But now, our time here has to end."
Finnick cut in now. "What we are about to tell you cannot leave this room. Nobody is to know of this outside of your families who will be informed of this same news soon by me. What we are about to tell you isn't open knowledge in any way. In fact, it's a secret bigger than Thirteen. It's a secret so big, you probably haven't even fathomed the idea of it."
"This is quite the dramatic speech." I murmured to Peeta, who smirked at me in response.
"Cut the crap and tell us where we are going." Katniss said before placing her hand on her forehead, like all of this was giving her a headache.
Finnick and Haymitch exchanged a look and then a nod. Finnick spoke again. "Panem isn't all there is. There are more countries, more people, people who rebuilt after war and destruction destroyed the world before us. We are going to another country entirely. We... we are leaving Panem." Finnick finished.
A/N: OH SNAP. What the puke is going on? You're probably thinking that. I hesitated with taking the story in this direction because I knew it would be difficult but... I wanted to do it. And I think it will definitely make it different than Mockingjay. I always thought Panem couldn't be all there was. Now, another country is going to help our rebels. Makes sense. Countries use to ban up together in wars all the time. And the rebels needed to leave thirteen to stop a nuclear war from occurring. Hope this all makes sense. If any questions, leave a review and I will try to answer!
So, Gale and Madge sort of take one step forward and two steps back, huh? Sorry about that. Everything will make sense with him, later. The way he reacted with the hand holding.. it WILL make sense. Sorry there wasn't much Katniss/Peeta but I was fairly heavy with that last chapter so you'll survive :p
PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think about this new development in the plot, what you think of Gale and Madge, of our cute little CLASSIC Finnick and Katniss scene, and of the chapter in general. LEMME KNOW!
P.S- All the nuclear crap confused me in Mockingjay so if it doesn't make sense here, I am sorry. I tried my best and hopefully I can clear up any confusion! Love you all!
