Author Note:
Random: Hello everyone! I'm really sorry about the last author note! And I appreciate all your nice comments. I was just felling down on myself because I don't like how I had written this chapter! It's rather short and doesn't have anything really important-
Hikaru: LIES! It has two HUGE important parts!
Random: ...oooooh yeah...I guess it does!
Kaoru: Yeah I guess so! It like completely shifts the story!
Random: Speaking of shifting the story. I have kinda came up with an idea to end this. It could go one of two ways. I've already kind of foreshadowed on both ways it could go...actually it could go three ways, but I think I'd melt peoples brain with that one so I'm not going to do that one. I'm really conflicted on how it should go. I think I'm going to do it one way then write an alternate ending after that...idk...any thoughts even though you guys have no idea what I'm talking about?
Hikaru: *Blink* That made no since.
Random: Shut up you! Your the one that planted the stupid idea in my head!
Hikaru: *Sniggers*
Kaoru: so WARNINGS: Um, swearing, name calling, some harsh themes, specific person homophobia, James breaks down...thing generally not making since.
Hikaru: DISCLAMER: She does not own the boys, if she did their would be hell of a lot more half naked pictures of the boys...or fully naked...;D
Random: So thank you to all that has reviewed/faved/alerted this story. I wish I had time to reply to all of your comments but I don't :( And thank to Jeremy for betaing! Now enjoy this chapter that I think is shit but the twins think other wise! :D
James just stared at the open door. Carlos and Logan had ran after Kendall in a panic to get him back and explain. But all he could do was stare at the damned door. Repeating the words that Kendall had screamed, his voice sounding so lost and broken. How could he have missed that? Not Kendall being gay, well that was part of it, but the part where Kendall had fallen apart? When had that happened?
What the fuck had he been thinking?
James fell back on the couch ungracefully, the couch making a soft thumping sound once he hit it. He placed his head in his hands as he tried to think properly. He didn't know what was going on. Kendall wasn't with Jo anymore. He was with…no he wasn't with anyone. That guy was just using Kendall as a sexual release.
Fuck, he didn't know what to think.
James pulled at his hair. What the hell did all this mean? What other things was Kendall hiding from them? Him? Just…"FUCK!" James screamed, slamming a hand into the glass table in front of the couch so hard it cracked. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He chanted, pulling at his hair again, his hand throbbing dully.
The door suddenly opened and his head snapped to it, hope fluttering in his heart. But it was quickly squashed when Mama Knight came through, carrying a shit ton of groceries. He got up to go help her, thankful for the momentary distraction. She smiled at him in thanks. They talked a little, her just really telling him about her day, as he put away the things. He smiled when he pulled out their favorite snack. Cheese balls! They each got their own bag to avoid arguments. Although, Carlos usually finished his first and tried to mooch off of James' or the others, which just led to fights.
He pulled out the bags, only counting three. That was odd. "Mrs. Knight? Where's the fourth bag?"
"We only need three, honey" She said distractingly.
James face scrunched in confusion. "No…we need four. Me, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan."
James saw her eyes widen, but answered quickly. "Yes, dear. But the store only had three. One's going to have to share."
James nodded slowly and continued to pull out the groceries. His brows knitted together when he pulled out three of everything or something that only had 5 servings. "…Mrs. Knight?"
"Yes sweetheart?" She asked putting away some things.
"Um, Kendall's…Kendall's ran off."
He watched as something flashed in her eyes, an almost happy glint. "Don't worry, James. I'm sure he will come back."
James turned to her abruptly. "Did you know he was gay?" He asked sternly. And there it was. The look that she couldn't hide quick enough. One of complete disgust.
"No…I hadn't."
James looked away. "Are you feeding him?"
"Yes, of cour-"
"Don't lie to me! Are. You. Feeding. Him." He looked into her eyes, searching for the answer he hoped dearly he would get. His heart shattering when he didn't get it.
"No."
"Why?" He whispered.
"Because he is my son. And I will not have a gay son."
"You were fine with me and Carlos!" He said, voice breaking slightly.
"You two are not my sons. I don't care who you sleep with, as long as it's not my son. But I guess you already ruined him." She said coldly, eyes hard.
James looked down at the counter. "Get out."
"What?" She asked in surprise.
"I said get the fuck OUT!" He screamed.
"You can't do that! I-"
"Don't own the apartment. Carlos is 18 and Logan nearly is. And the apartment lease is under Kendall's name. We can do whatever we want." He looked at her with such hate, it made her gulp.
"W-What about Katie?"
"I'm going to tell her everything that has happened, what you have been doing. She can either live with us or with you, I don't care. I just want you out of this apartment."
She straightened her shoulders. "Fine, but I don't know why you're defending the little shit." She said storming to the door.
"You're supposed to be his mother." He said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear.
He saw her tense. "Not anymore." She said, voice dark and left the apartment.
James crumbled to the floor. He'd let this happen. All of this was his fault.
Carlos opened the door, while looking back to watch Mrs. Knight walk away. "Hey James? Where is-James! Oh my god! What's wrong!?" Carlos rushed over to kneel next to the brunet and pull him to his chest.
"This is my fault." James whispered, turning his head into Carlos' chest and started to sob. "All my fault."
Carlos bit his lip, holding James tighter. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what happened. "Baby, it's okay. We'll figure it out." And that just made James cry harder.
Kendall sat at Eric's kitchen table the next day lost in thought, but of course it didn't last long.
"Eric! You done fucking your slut?" A voice called after slamming open the door.
Eric walked into view, toweling at his hair. Kendall started to wonder if the older boy ever wore a shirt for more than 5 minutes. "Yeah, but they're still here." He said winking at Kendall, making the blond teen roll his eyes.
"What? You let one stay for more than 20 minutes after-oh it's Kendork, never mind." Jett rounded the corner and came into Kendall's view.
"Hey yourself, jerk wad." Kendall mumbled around the brim of his mug.
Jett flopped down next to Kendall and placed an arm around the back of his chair. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your friends?"
"No. They don't control me!" Kendall snapped. Jett put his hand up in surrender at the harsh tone. Kendall sighed, "Sorry…rough night."
Jett smirked cockily. "I bet." He sang.
Kendall rolled his eyes and kicked the shorter blond. "Shut up, bastard."
Jett pouted. "Ow! Eric! Your play thing's being mean to me!"
Eric walked back into the room from wherever he'd disappeared to with a shirt and to the fridge. "Children be nice."
Jett rolled his eyes and threw the nearest heavy object at Eric before turning back to Kendall. "Anyway, why are you here? Logan and Carlos have been looking for you."
Kendall looked down, trying desperately to not notice the lack of James in that sentence. "We had a fight."
"Aw, trouble in paradise?"
Eric shot Jett a look. "Shut up Jett."
"No, Eric it's fine." Kendall said, he turned back to Jett. "If by paradise, you mean my hell hole of a home? Then yes. My mother hates me and my friends don't care. Yesterday was my breaking point and I had finally just screamed to them I was having trouble. So yes Jett, there is trouble in paradise." He spat. The words flowing with venom, making Jett flinch. The blond stood up and mumbled he was going to take a shower.
Eric watched Kendall go then turned back to Jett. "Moron! I had just got him feeling better!"
"How was I supposed to know?" Jett asked.
"Because I'm your older brother! And you know me! If Kendall's here that usually means something bad happened."
"Like I'd know that! We are only half-brothers! I can't read your mind!" Jett said, crossing his arm defiantly.
"Well, then figure out how, dip shit!" Eric glared. He got up, "I'm going to go make sure he doesn't accidentally kill himself." And then he stormed away.
Jett sighed and banged his head on the table. Eric was so protective of Kendall. Ever since he'd introduced them. Kendall was like another younger brother to Eric…that he fucked? Okay moving away from that fucked up train of thought. Point was, Eric was a protective son of a bitch when he wanted to be. Jett groaned and banged his head on the table again. Fuck, he always gets himself involved in other peoples business, if he wanted to be or not. He always stumbled into it.
He stood up and walked toward the shower. "Might as well go and apologies. Stupid brothers and brothers-friend-with-benefits-but-younger-brother… thing…Screw it. I don't know what I'm saying. Stupid messed up family." He wondered briefly, when Kendall became part of his family.
