Secrets & Lies
Chapter 7
The Rules

Felicity
I never thought that Oliver would actually go through with it and ask Laurel to no longer be apart of his life. A part of me expected him to put up a fight and stick up for her like he always does. Maybe this proved that he loved me more then I thought he did and if he's willing to do that then maybe he's willing to follow some ground rules if he wants to get back together with me. I think the rules I have in mind are fairly reasonable considering and I also think that Oliver will follow them. He told me he would do whatever it takes to get us back on track, the Laurel thing was just a test and he passed with flying colours. Now it is time to put his money where his mouth is, so to speak. Let's see if Oliver really is willing to do anything to get back together with me and put all of this behind us.

He was supposed to be coming over later so that we could talk some more, I have no doubt he will be here on time. He really is trying hard and it's difficult for me to not let him back in my life the way he was. Things need to be taken slow so I can learn to trust him again and we can start working on getting back to where we were but that is going to take time. Oliver is not the most patient of people at times but I think he'll understand that this is what needs to be done. It's a tough call on deciding if we should work on it or if I should just break up with him but I need to at least give it a try. If I don't I will always be wondering, what if, and I don't think I could deal with that.

My problem with everything happening is that I don't want to seem soft. I'm giving Oliver another chance and I'm happy we're fixing things but I don't want him to think that he will get away with it again. I struggle being a firm person sometimes and I really don't like being firm or mean to Oliver. I know he would never do it again but then again I didn't think he would do it the first time. I look at Diggle and I know he just sees me as being to soft on Oliver and I'm letting my feelings cloud my judgment. Maybe he's right and I'm giving him another chance to easily but if things go wrong again, I can say that I at least tried. I hope everyone knows that this isn't easy for me and I'm not doing this for the wrong reasons.

I'm sticking to my rules and regulations, I'm not making it easy for Oliver to get back into my good books but I miss him. I miss his touch and his voice. I miss him stroking my hair whilst laying in bed. It's really taking a lot for me to stick to my guns on this. It would be easy for me to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened. It would be easy for me to just lay in bed with him after he had sex with her and pretend everything is ok. It's hard for me to actually face up to what he did and know what he did every time I look at him. If I ever let him back into my bed, I know that thoughts of her will come back.

Was she better then me?
Does he miss her?
Would he prefer if I was more like her?
Is he thinking about her whilst touching me?

It's because of these thoughts that I have to give it time. It wouldn't be fair of me to let Oliver back into my bed and have those thoughts running through my head. I promised Oliver I would always be truthful to him so maybe if I speak to him about these questions, he will be able to give me my answers. I'll know if he's lying and he knows it. I guess really only time will tell if it really is me he wants or if it really is her.


I smoothed out my dress and made sure I looked presentable before I opened the knocking door. Oliver stood on the other side of the door holding a bunch of my favourite flowers, Amaryllis' "Thank you, they're beautiful" I said as I took them off him and let him inside. I heard him close the door behind him as I went into the kitchen and put the flowers in a vase.

I walked into the dining area and saw Oliver sitting down and looking down at the table, he looked up when he heard me and smiled softly. I took a seat opposite him and Oliver instantly grabbed my hands in his, the simple touch made me want to melt "Thank you for agreeing to this" He told me and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was sincere. He really was grateful for the opportunity to speak to me and have a meal with me.

"Dinner should be ready soon" I stated and stood up "Would you like a glass of wine?" I asked.

"Please" He responded.

Once I had poured the two glasses of wine I went back to the table and placed one in front of him and one opposite him, where I would be sitting. I didn't take a seat because dinner was ready to be served. It wasn't anything spectacular or anything, just spaghetti with garlicky kale and tomatoes. It used to be something Oliver and I ate all the time together. He can cook it too and I thought it best to go with a dinner we can both enjoy and it might help us get into the flow of things again. With the two plates in hand I went out to the dining area again, placed one in front of Oliver and one opposite.

"Looks and smells delicious" He commented.

I sat down and after a sip of my wine I began to eat.

Dinner was finished fairly quickly and we both went into an awkward silence as we knew what was coming next. The whole reason Oliver had come over was so we could discuss where to go from here and what we expect and want from each other further into this relationship. It was a discussion neither of us really wanted to start as we didn't want to say the wrong thing and cock it up before it even began. Of course one of us had to begin with something so I took the reigns.

"Thank you for agreeing to come over tonight. I think it's important we speak properly about where to go from here and we can talk like adults. I need to tell you what I want from you but I want you to tell me what you want from me. If we're going to make this work then we both need to work at it and we probably both need to make some sacrifices" I explained.

"I agree" He replied.

"Ok, well first of all I don't want you having anymore contact with Laurel. I can't trust you to be around each other right now and I do not want to have to go through this again. This is hard enough without doing it again" I told him and he nodded in agreement "I want you to be truthful with me if something is bothering you. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about your worries or if you think I'm not paying enough attention to our relationship. If we don't become open and honest with one another then things are never going to be right" I told him.

"I completely agree with that. I want you to know that since you asked the first time, Laurel and I have not had any contact whatsoever. She does however live with my sister so I think there will probably be times when we bump into each other and I can't be rude and pretend she doesn't exist. I get you don't trust me and her but I swear to you that I will never do something so stupid ever again" He said.

"I don't even want to hear her name" I stated bitterly "She was supposed to be a good friend but then she goes and sleeps with my boyfriend. Then she shows up at my office pretending to see how I am when all she really wants to know is if you had told me what happened. She's a snake and I don't want her or anything associated with her talked about or brought in front of me" I explained to him and he nodded with me "You're lucky that you're sitting here" I said.

"I know I am" He answered.

"Look I don't want it to seem like I blame her for everything and I have forgiven you because that isn't the case. I am still so angry at you and hurt by what you did to me but what hurt most about her was that she pretended to be my friend. She could have mentioned it to me when she came to see me in the office the day after it happened but she didn't she was snooping to see if you had told me. That's not what friends do and I can never class her as a friend again" I said.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. That's the last thing you need to do" He replied.

"This isn't going to be fixed over night. There is so much that we need to do if we are to ever get back on track. I don't know if I will be able to forgive you for this but I'm going to try. I'll kick myself forever if I never tried. We are really going to have to work on it and I'm willing to try… I'm not promising anything" I explained.

"Like I said, I'll do whatever you want me to do"


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Until next time lovers...