05.11.2012
Stan Marsh: ok, so
Stan Marsh: here's the thing
Stan Marsh: I told kenny you like him because he completes you
Stan Marsh: so just go with it
Craig Tucker: Why would you tell him something that I didn't actually say?
Craig Tucker: Are you fucking stupid?
Craig Tucker: What if you lie to him and he finds out?
Craig Tucker: Then we're both fucked
Stan Marsh: you like kenny, right.
Stan Marsh: so go with it.
Craig Tucker: But "he completes me"?
Craig Tucker: That's fucking gay
Stan Marsh: you are gay
Craig Tucker: Not that kind of gay, dumbass
Stan Marsh: you're a dumbass.
Craig Tucker: What if things don't work out for some reason? And he's crushed because you lied?
Stan Marsh: well it's your fault you were high as a fucking kite. so deal with it.
Craig Tucker: Dude, seriously, fuck you.
Stan Marsh: Fuck you with a pitchfork, Craig
Stan Marsh: Fuck you with a pitchfork
Craig Tucker: I'm never too high to deal with my own boyfriend.
Craig Tucker: There's no such thing
Stan Marsh: then you should have instead of hiding
Stan Marsh: fucker
Craig Tucker: He didn't even ask me
Craig Tucker: So fuck off
Stan Marsh: you fuck off
Craig Tucker: No, you're the fucking one that started this shit
Craig Tucker: Don't fucking lie to people
Stan Marsh: you started it by dating my best friend so fuck you with something pointy, ok
Stan Marsh: Fuck you
Stan Marsh: fine I'll go tell him the truth
Stan Marsh: that you got high without him
Stan Marsh: and ignored him all night
Stan Marsh: because he was too emotional
Craig Tucker: I didn't fucking ignore him, you asshole
Craig Tucker: That's just another lie
Stan Marsh: don't care, don't give a shit, fuck you.
Craig Tucker: If you fuck up my relationship, I swear to God, I'll fuck /you/ up
Stan Marsh: sure you will
Stan Marsh: Just try tucker
Craig Tucker: Or maybe I can just have another chat with Wendy and tell her what actually happened without being as vague as I was
Stan Marsh: I already told her
Stan Marsh: right down to the condom.
Craig Tucker: I bet you lied because that's what you fucking do best
Stan Marsh: nope
Stan Marsh: I also told Kenny
Stan Marsh: right down to the condom
Craig Tucker: Sure. I bet you told her it was all my fucking fault and that I tried raping you
Craig Tucker: Lies.
Stan Marsh: But I actually told them both I initiated it, so fuck you if your relationship fails, I tried saving it.
Craig Tucker: You didn't try saving it, you're the fucking reason it's on the rocks
Craig Tucker: So fuck you
Stan Marsh: what, because you fucked with me in the locker room
Stan Marsh: Takes two to fuck things up this bad, asshole
Craig Tucker: No, just fuck you
Stan Marsh: fuck you
Craig Tucker: No, fucking go to Hell
Craig Tucker: Stop talking to me
Craig Tucker: Every goddamn day
Stan Marsh: you fucking go to hell on a magic carpet, bastard.
Stan Marsh: I don't.
Craig Tucker: You fucking do.
Stan Marsh: but I'm going to stop because my girlfriend doesn't want me to talk to your sorry ass, and I can't blame her.
Craig Tucker: Yeah, she doesn't want you to talk to me because she doesn't want you to get any more fucking attached than you already are
Craig Tucker: And I fucking agree
Craig Tucker: Wendy's fucking smart
Stan Marsh: Yes she is
Stan Marsh: and no, I'm not attached to you
Craig Tucker: Then why do you fucking talk to me so much?
Craig Tucker: And come to my house uninvited?
Stan Marsh: why don't you go shove the whole red wood forest up your ass, Craig
Stan Marsh: just fuck off
Stan Marsh: seriously
Craig Tucker: Way to avoid the fucking question.
Stan Marsh: Because you're a fuckface
Stan Marsh: so fuck off
Craig Tucker: That's totally valid.
Stan Marsh: Yep
Craig Tucker: I don't even fucking care why you talk to me, just fuck you
Craig Tucker: Leave me alone so I can get my fucking life back in order
Stan Marsh: ok, then fucking leave me alone
Stan Marsh: bye
Craig Tucker: YOU'RE the one that keeps fucking pestering me.
Craig Tucker: I'm not responding anymore
Craig Tucker: Ever
Stan Marsh: WHY ARE YOU RESPONDING.
Stan Marsh: okay
Stan Marsh: Go away
Stan Marsh: god
Stan Marsh: Drama fucking queen
Stan Marsh: and by the fucking way, I don't want you. So quit talking to Kenny about me.
Stan Marsh: It's not happening. Ever.
Craig Tucker: I don't talk to Kenny about you
Craig Tucker: Only if he fucking asks
Craig Tucker: Because for some reason he thinks I'm going to fucking leave him
Craig Tucker: So fuck you
Craig Tucker: You caused all of this
Stan Marsh: Leave him for me
Stan Marsh: I don't know why the fuck he'd think that
Stan Marsh: unless you've been hinting about shit
Stan Marsh: I didn't cause any of this
Stan Marsh: if you would have stayed out of my fucking face
Stan Marsh: and not being turned on by dirty fighting, you fucking pervert
Craig Tucker: Fuck
Craig Tucker: you
Craig Tucker: You fucking caused /all/ of it
Stan Marsh: No
Stan Marsh: I didn't
Stan Marsh: stop blaming me fucktard
Craig Tucker: Ugh, just seriously, fuck you
Stan Marsh: fuck you.
Craig Tucker: I don't need this
Stan Marsh: why?
Craig Tucker: No
Stan Marsh: because obviously you didn't participate, right
Stan Marsh: so evidently you don't need to be involved
Stan Marsh: in anything that happens after
Stan Marsh: you think my relationship is fucking perfect?
Craig Tucker: I don't care about your fucking relationship; I care about mine
Stan Marsh: I can't believe I cheated on my girlfriend with someone like fucking you
Stan Marsh: god
Craig Tucker: And how it's fucking going to the shits because of you
Stan Marsh: you've been dating a week
Stan Marsh: idiot
Craig Tucker: So? I wouldn't have asked him out if he didn't mean something to me
Stan Marsh: yeah
Stan Marsh: just like you wouldn't make out with me because he means something to you
Craig Tucker: You. Started. It.
Stan Marsh: Did. Not.
Craig Tucker: Okay, fuck this, I'm not fucking arguing about it anymore
Craig Tucker: Who fucking cares
Craig Tucker: I hate you
Stan Marsh: Who does fucking care
Craig Tucker: I fucking hate you
Stan Marsh: I fucking hate you too
Stan Marsh: go cry in a pillow about it
Stan Marsh: and then fucking shove it up your ass
Craig Tucker: Go fucking drown in vodka over it
Stan Marsh: I will
Stan Marsh: go have a bad joint
Stan Marsh: and OD
Craig Tucker: You can't fucking OD on weed, dumbass
Craig Tucker: Nice try though
Stan Marsh: if it's laced with shit yes
Stan Marsh: yes you can
Craig Tucker: I don't even fucking care. Arguing with you is fucking pointless
Stan Marsh: talking with you is fucking pointless
Stan Marsh: apathetic son of a bitch
Craig Tucker: Yeah, fuck you, why /should/ I care?
Craig Tucker: Apathetic is the best fucking way to be
Stan Marsh: for a rock
Stan Marsh: have fun with that
Craig Tucker: Is there a fucking reason you want me to care? Because I don't fucking see any
Craig Tucker: So I won't
Stan Marsh: let me play a sad melody on the world's tiniest violin for you
Craig Tucker: I'm not the fucking sad one, I'm apathetic, remember?
Stan Marsh: you're the idiot one
Stan Marsh: I remember that
Stan Marsh: what do you want from me, seriously
Stan Marsh: Why do you keep talking
Craig Tucker: How the fuck am I the idiot one?
Craig Tucker: When you don't even know what the fuck it going on half the time?
Stan Marsh: Fuck you
Stan Marsh: just tell me what you want and leave me the fuck alone
Craig Tucker: /You/ IMed /me/ assface
Craig Tucker: And you're really fucking pissing me off
Stan Marsh: I was going to STOP
Stan Marsh: and now you're just
Stan Marsh: ranting.
Stan Marsh: what the fuck.
Craig Tucker: Because fucking fuck you
Craig Tucker: I fucking hate you
Craig Tucker: You're ruining my fucking relationship
Stan Marsh: how am I ruining it
Craig Tucker: Fuck you
Stan Marsh: Kenny is perfectly happy now you moron
Stan Marsh: don't fuck it up
Craig Tucker: Never ficking mind
Craig Tucker: I'm leaving
Stan Marsh: …
Stan Marsh: this is an aim conversation
Stan Marsh: you don't leave
Stan Marsh: you just quit responding
Stan Marsh: retard
Stan Marsh: by the way
Stan Marsh: it's not ficking
Stan Marsh: it's fucking
Stan Marsh: if you're going to use fuck every other word you might as well spell it right
Craig Tucker: I'm going to kill you, stop talking to me
Stan Marsh: kill me? ooo, big scary threat
Stan Marsh: from someone who is so apathetic they can't bother themselves with dealing with shit they helped cause
Stan Marsh: you sure you won't overexert yourself?
Craig Tucker: Stop
Craig Tucker: IMing me
Stan Marsh: you stop
Stan Marsh: IMing me
Stan Marsh: in frag
Stan Marsh: ments
Stan Marsh: to prove
Stan Marsh: you really
Stan Marsh: hate
Stan Marsh: me
Stan Marsh: with as many
Stan Marsh: lines as
Stan Marsh: possible
Craig Tucker: … is there a reason you're trying to piss me off? Because really, I'm passed pissed now. Now I'm just fucking annoyed that my computer keeps dinging.
Craig Tucker: I don't want to talk to you, so just stop
Stan Marsh: why are you even pissed
Craig Tucker: Does it matter? I hate you, I don't need a reason to be pissed.
Stan Marsh: yeah. right.
Stan Marsh: you hate me soooooo much
Craig Tucker: I do.
Stan Marsh: really.
Stan Marsh: so much you're going to overexert yourself and kill me, huh.
Craig Tucker: I'm not going to kill you. I don't even want to see you. Or hear you. Or think about your fucking IMs.
Craig Tucker: So stop
Stan Marsh: …..
Stan Marsh: that's just a fucking odd comment
Stan Marsh: you don't want to hear me?
Stan Marsh: stop jacking off to my aim box, tucker
Craig Tucker: I was just listing off fucking senses, get off it
Stan Marsh: get off it? was that a phrase you used because you're currently getting it off, to my aim box
Stan Marsh: too many dings, huh
Stan Marsh: interrupting the mood
Craig Tucker: Fucking stop. Seriously.
Stan Marsh: why
Stan Marsh: are you afraid I know what you're doing?
Craig Tucker: No, because I'm just sitting here.
Craig Tucker: What would I be doing?
Stan Marsh: www dot youtube dot com/watch?v=hetaBX00wtI
Stan Marsh: that
Craig Tucker: I'm not clicking anything you send me
Craig Tucker: We've been over this
Stan Marsh: whatever.
Stan Marsh: the last time you swore a lot was when you were all up on me so I don't give a fuck if you're turned on or off.
Stan Marsh: just get the fuck over it.
Stan Marsh: not happening.
Craig Tucker: What does my swearing have to do with anything?
Craig Tucker: I fucking swear all the time
Stan Marsh: yeah
Stan Marsh: right
Stan Marsh: I'm going to stop messaging you now
Craig Tucker: Thank fucking God
Stan Marsh: yep.
Stan Marsh: (but fuck you)
Stan Marsh: Well wait
Stan Marsh: what the fuck
Stan Marsh: For four fucking nights we've bitched at each other
Stan Marsh: what's different now
Craig Tucker: Nothing is different now, good bye
Stan Marsh: that
Stan Marsh: is bullshit
Stan Marsh: what the hell are you doing
Craig Tucker: I'm not doing anything
Stan Marsh: you are too
Stan Marsh: ok, I'm fucking serious about admitting to wendy and kenny that I initiated
Stan Marsh: so don't fuck it up
Stan Marsh: by telling them I lied
Stan Marsh: because I didn't lie to them and I don't want to have to go through that shit again
Craig Tucker: I'm not telling anyone anything, just fucking go to bed
Stan Marsh: I'm not going to bed
Stan Marsh: what the fuck
Stan Marsh: Don't tell me what to do
Craig Tucker: Then don't go to bed, fuck if I care
Craig Tucker: Just leave
Stan Marsh: stop thinking about me and a bed tucker
Stan Marsh: Just get over it
Stan Marsh: just STOP
Craig Tucker: These jokes are getting old
Stan Marsh: I'm not fucking joking.
Craig Tucker: Well I'm not thinking about anything except how much I hate you, so you're fucking safe from mind rape
Craig Tucker: Because I'm a fucking rapist and you didn't consent
Craig Tucker: Just fuck off
Stan Marsh: jfc you're not a rapist
Stan Marsh: obviously
Stan Marsh: if I told them what actually happened
Craig Tucker: Then /you/ might look bad instead of me?
Stan Marsh: I did
Craig Tucker: Right, well I'll just take the fucking fall
Stan Marsh: no
Stan Marsh: you haven't
Stan Marsh: I told them what happened
Stan Marsh: every fucking detail
Craig Tucker: No you didn't; I know you'd lie about it
Stan Marsh: well then you don't know fucking shit about me, tucker.
Craig Tucker: That's why Kenny is so fucking upset all the time and he thinks I'm going to leave him
Stan Marsh: have you talked to him since yesterday
Stan Marsh: because I told him last night.
Stan Marsh: idiot
Craig Tucker: Yes, actually, but all he did was tell me he got a new job. We don't really talk a lot since I got out of the hospital because he thinks I'll hate him if he's depressed
Stan Marsh: then thats your fucking issue to figure out
Stan Marsh: i have normal fucking conversations with him
Stan Marsh: maybe i should be dating kenny instead of you
Craig Tucker: …maybe you should
Stan Marsh: …
Stan Marsh: what the fuck
Stan Marsh: was that supposed to confuse me, because I was making fun of you for your lack of giving a shit about kenny's feelings.
Stan Marsh: goddamnit, instead of talking to me go talk to him
Craig Tucker: No, fuck, all I do is make things worse for him. Just fucking stop so I can successfully ignore you.
Stan Marsh: ….
Stan Marsh: jfc
Stan Marsh: ok, whatever
Stan Marsh: i'm not even going to try and help you work things out with kenny because obviously you've given up already
Stan Marsh: fucker
Craig Tucker: I haven't given up, fuck you. I just don't need your fucking help with my problems, seeing as you're probably the biggest fucking one
Stan Marsh: how am I your biggest fucking problem.
Stan Marsh: we've been hating each other for fucking years
Craig Tucker: Fuck you
Stan Marsh: Fuck you
Craig Tucker: No, fucking seriously, fuck you.
Craig Tucker: I /really/ don
Craig Tucker: t want to talk to you right now
Stan Marsh: you're really don
Stan Marsh: hello don
Stan Marsh: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Craig Tucker: Why would I want to talk to you?
Craig Tucker: Would it help if I said "please?" Please fucking stop.
Craig Tucker: There
Stan Marsh: no, because now I want to know why you want me to stop talking.
Craig Tucker: No
Stan Marsh: c'mon, tell me
Craig Tucker: Why?
Stan Marsh: because I'm curious.
Craig Tucker: No
Craig Tucker: I just hate you
Stan Marsh: Come on
Craig Tucker: That's it
Stan Marsh: Yeah
Stan Marsh: you hated me three days ago
Stan Marsh: and we talked until 4 in the fucking morning
Craig Tucker: So? You're the one that was fucking spamming me
Craig Tucker: Does there need to be a reason to not want to talk to you until 4am every night?
Stan Marsh: ..yes.
Stan Marsh: You don't say please.
Stan Marsh: ever.
Stan Marsh: What's up?
Craig Tucker: Fucking nothing
Craig Tucker: Stop asking
Stan Marsh: It's not nothing
Stan Marsh: what is it?
Craig Tucker: It's fucking nothing; why are you so persistent?
Stan Marsh: hey, craig.
Stan Marsh: look at this baby wombat. 25 dot media dot tumblr dot com/tumblr_m3ktuut9wu1r1knwfo1_500 dot jpg
Stan Marsh: and maybe I care.
Stan Marsh: so what's up?
Craig Tucker: I don't care about the baby wombat
Stan Marsh: awww, poor baby wombat.
Craig Tucker: You don't fucking care, stop the bullshit
Stan Marsh: no, really
Stan Marsh: maybe I do
Stan Marsh: so tell me what's up
Craig Tucker: Why would you fucking care?
Craig Tucker: I don't want to talk to you
Stan Marsh: 25 dot media dot tumblr dot com/tumblr_ly3gavm5ru1r97rrio1_500 dot png baby guinea pig that fits in the palm of your hand
Stan Marsh: come on.
Stan Marsh: look at the cute animals and indulge me why you're so pissed off tonight of all nights.
Craig Tucker: I don't fucking want to
Craig Tucker: No
Stan Marsh: 24 dot media dot tumblr dot com/tumblr_ls5s18A4X71qgwu17o1_500 dot jpgo.m.g look at its hair
Stan Marsh: thats fucking awesome
Stan Marsh: come on
Stan Marsh: tell me
Stan Marsh: 25 dot media dot tumblr dot com/tumblr_lo6vmnFa961qmgj5co1_500 dot jpgdude its camoflage
Stan Marsh: come on tucker
Craig Tucker: Just stop
Stan Marsh: stop what?
Craig Tucker: Everything. Just stop.
Stan Marsh: what's wrong
Craig Tucker: You. You're my problem so fucking stop IMing me.
Stan Marsh: how am I your problem.
Stan Marsh: seriously.
Craig Tucker: You're my problem because you fucking fucked up my relationship and I don't know if it's ever going to get better and you won't stop fucking talking to me and I don't know why I even fucking respond at all because you're a waste of time and Tweek is trying to talk to me and everything just fucking sucks and I don't know what I want.
Craig Tucker: Happy?
Craig Tucker: I'm having a fucking moment
Craig Tucker: And I don't need you talking to me
Craig Tucker: So fuck off
Stan Marsh: …..
Stan Marsh: um, ok
Stan Marsh: I'll back off
Stan Marsh: night
Craig Tucker: Fucking finally
Stan Marsh: I'll leave you with this ghetto fabulous guinea pig 24 dot media dot tumblr dot com/tumblr_m3w6ijnHte1qi6m0lo1_500 dot jpg
Stan Marsh: hope things get better.
Stan Marsh: bye
Craig Tucker: whatever.
Stan Marsh: ..are you going back with tweek?
Craig Tucker: No, I'm not.
Stan Marsh: and you're not breaking up with kenny, right
Craig Tucker: Why would I break up with Kenny
Stan Marsh: like he's worried about it
Stan Marsh: I'm just making sure I don't have to kick your ass
Craig Tucker: Why would I leave him?
Stan Marsh: i don't know
Stan Marsh: because you're an idiot
Craig Tucker: Makes sense.
Stan Marsh: yeah
Stan Marsh: thought so myself
Stan Marsh: anyways.
Stan Marsh: why be so stressed about it. it's a fucking no brainer.
Craig Tucker: Maybe.
Craig Tucker: Just fuck off, seriously
Craig Tucker: I thought you were going to back off
Stan Marsh: yeah.
Stan Marsh: but you seem like, suicidal, so I'm just going to keep talking to you.
Stan Marsh: not really suicidal
Stan Marsh: just emotional
Craig Tucker: Ugh, I'm not suicidal.
Stan Marsh: that's kind of weird.
Craig Tucker: I'm allowed to have emotions, asshole
Stan Marsh: yeah.
Craig Tucker: Well you're really not making things any better, you're actually kind of making them worse. So just go the fuck away
Stan Marsh: what?
Stan Marsh: how did that make anything worse
Stan Marsh: what the fuck
Stan Marsh: I be nice and you're being a fucktard
Stan Marsh: well fuck you tucker
Craig Tucker: Yep
Stan Marsh: how am I your biggest problem when tweek's back.
Craig Tucker: Because I Tweek is easily avoidable
Craig Tucker: But you don't know when to fucking stop
Stan Marsh: …..
Stan Marsh: are you saying you have feelings for me?
Craig Tucker: No, how does that even make sense? I hate you and you won't stop talking to me, that's a problem
Stan Marsh: you just compared me with tweek.
Stan Marsh: what the fuck.
Craig Tucker: Because you compared yourself to him first
Craig Tucker: I was just following suit
Stan Marsh: sure
Stan Marsh: that's bullshit
Craig Tucker: Whatever you fucking say because you're always right
Craig Tucker: I'm done arguing
Stan Marsh: whatever.
Stan Marsh: that wasn't an argument
Craig Tucker: Since when is "that's bullshit" not an argument?
Craig Tucker: If you want to believe whatever you believe, then fucking do it
Craig Tucker: I don't care
Stan Marsh: okay
Stan Marsh: I'll just believe you have a crush on me
Stan Marsh: works for me
Craig Tucker: If that's what you fucking think, then I don't care. I'm seriously fucking fed up with this.
Stan Marsh: Really
Craig Tucker: Yeah
Stan Marsh: goddamnit
Stan Marsh: fine
Stan Marsh: if you want to fucking talk about something talk about it
Craig Tucker: I've been telling you this whole time that I don't want to talk about it
Craig Tucker: But you keep pushing
Stan Marsh: because bottling up shit is not the way to solve anything and definitely not with kenny.
Stan Marsh: he's had enough of that fucking shit in his house
Stan Marsh: don't do it to him in his love life
Craig Tucker: I'm not bottling up anything about Kenny
Craig Tucker: That shit's out in the open
Stan Marsh: what are you bottling up then
Stan Marsh: because obviously it's upsetting kenny
Craig Tucker: Nothing.
Stan Marsh: bullshit.
Stan Marsh: Just fucking say it
Craig Tucker: No, I already told Stripe, so fuck off
Stan Marsh: ugh
Stan Marsh: yeah because he can respond
Craig Tucker: He doesn't need to, the point in saying it is to get it out. Why are you putting so much effort into this? What do you want me to say?
Stan Marsh: I don't know.
Craig Tucker: What could possibly be wrong with me that you would give any shits about?
Stan Marsh: I don't know.
Craig Tucker: So why do you keep asking?
Stan Marsh: …I don't really know.
Craig Tucker: Then stop. Because I don't even know how many times I've told you to already.
Craig Tucker: And if you don't have a reason then there's no point in doing it
Stan Marsh: I kinda care.
Craig Tucker: No you don't; we hate each other
Stan Marsh: I hate you but I'm not that big of a douche.
Craig Tucker: There's a big jump between "I kinda care" and "I hate you"
Craig Tucker: So pick one because I don't need both
Craig Tucker: Scratch that; just hate me
Stan Marsh: I hate you but I'm fine with not hating you when you need someone uninvolved to listen.
Craig Tucker: Well obviously if I already told you that you're the biggest problem, you're not uninvolved. You don't need to listen. I hate you and I don't understand why you keep talking to me into the ungoldy hours of the night. it's already fucking almost 4am. Why do you keep doing this?
Craig Tucker: Just seriously stop
Stan Marsh: what are you trying to say?
Craig Tucker: I'm not trying to say anything; I'm saying go away.
Stan Marsh: ok..
Craig Tucker: Are you actually going to go this time?
Stan Marsh: you're kind of depressing me
Stan Marsh: so I'm gonna go
Craig Tucker: You don't have a reason to be depressed, it's not your fucking problem
Craig Tucker: But yes, fucking go
Stan Marsh: night
Stan Marsh: sleep well craigy-poo
Craig Tucker: Yeah
