What I'd Always Wanted

~0~

Fate's Secret (II)

~0~

Hayate declined Signum's invitation to stay for dinner and left as soon as she could. However, Nanoha was left with a tumult of emotions wandering around her head.

After dinner, Nanoha finished her History homework and went to bed. She picked up her phone to discover that Fate had called. She dialed her number and waited. "Hayate," sounded Fate's relieved voice. "Good evening, Fate-chan." Nanoha greeted. Fate was the first to speak. "I wanted to apologize again for this afternoon." "Stop worrying about it," Nanoha scolded. "By the way, guess what happened to me today at school." She suddenly changed the subject. It was a good opportunity for Fate to hear about it. "I wanted to tell you before, but I forgot with everything that happened. Nanoha invited me to eat lunch with her and her friends." She told her. "I really think you were right after all, Nanoha is not so bad. She's trying. We could be friends. All of us. What do you say?" She spoke enthusiastically.

There was a long silence. For a second Nanoha thought the line was cut. "Fate-chan?" she wanted to make sure.

"Really?" was heard blonde's voice with a strange tone. Between incredulous, hopeful and something else. Signum entered the room to get Nanoha in bed, like every night. "Fate-chan, I have to go. Think about it, okay? Are you coming tomorrow?" she hurried to end the communication while Signum gave her friendly gestures to end the call. "Mm" the blonde nodded. "See you tomorrow, Hayate. Goodnight." "Goodnight, Fate-chan, take care." She finished.

"Do you two ever get tired?" asked the guardian with a slight smile. Nanoha laughed. "And what's up with that other girl? What happened between you two? She comes here a lot lately." Said the adult as she straightened up some clothes on the chair. Nanoha simply shrugged. Signum snorted amused. "Goodnight, Hayate."


The next day, Nanoha had a hard time getting up, she wasn't feeling very good again. She growled annoyed at how frail and delicate Hayate's body turned out to be, and it wasn't the first or last time she thought so since their change. Idly she completed her daily routine, she smiled a little sad at the note Signum had left on the table and ate breakfast in silence. She got ready for school and attentively looked at the clock.

Someone rang the door and Nanoha smiled, putting aside her discomfort and her previous moment of depression and loneliness.

She opened the door and behind it appeared a shy Fate. Nanoha smiled hesitantly. Fate's deep eyes looked at her with shame before daring to reciprocate the gesture. To Nanoha's surprise, Fate was the first to speak.

"Last night I had a strange dream because of you," said the blonde in fake accusation. Nanoha raised her eyebrows, "What kind of dream?" Nanoha asked amused.

"About Magical Girls." The blonde whispered looking away. After the surprise, Nanoha couldn't help but burst into laughter. Fate turned fixing her scarlet eyes in the azure ones of her friend and adorably grumbled. "Don't laugh. It's your fault for making me watch all those series of yours." She blushed. Nanoha laughed again.

On the way to school, Nanoha forced Fate to tell her about the dream. It was hard, but finally the crimson-eyed girl revealed some details. In the story, she, meaning Hayate, had black wings and floated in the air giving orders. Signum wore a fuchsia combat suit and blindly followed her instructions. Fate herself wore a short black suit along with a black and red cape, everything very vampire like, and she engaged in crazy fights with Signum or also follow Hayate's orders. Nanoha imagined everything and laughed with pleasure. Her mood changed when a new factor was added to the story. "The most bizarre thing was when Nanoha also appeared," Fate blushed. Nanoha blinked and asked, "What happened then?"

"She was dressed in white, and wore her hair in two ridiculous pigtails… wait, come to think of it, I also wore two ridiculous pigtails," she panicked. Nanoha giggled but her bright eyes asked Fate to continue. "She asked me to be her friend and then launched at me some sort of atomic bomb type of attack. Seriously. It was an exaggerated thing with a fancy name." the blonde explained spreading her hands to indicate the size of the attack's destructive power. Fate smiled and Nanoha laughed. She laughed as Hayate, on the outside, but on the inside, Nanoha was sad. It had just been a dream, but dreams come from the subconscious, from real perceptions, right? What chance did Nanoha had of getting close to Fate if the blonde saw her in such way? Her chest hurt just thinking about it, it almost felt like physical pain.

Despite maintaining her smile and amused expression, Fate's smile faded away as the girl's ruby eyes stared into hers. "Hayate, what's wrong?" Fate asked softly. It was as if she could see the suffering of her soul by just looking into her eyes. Nanoha giggled nervously while building new barriers. "What happened next?"

Fate blinked for a moment. She eyed her letting her know that the ruse hadn't worked and that she was still worried, but this time she let it go. "I woke up." she just said. "It might be some kind of sign." Nanoha said trying again to lead the blonde in the direction that both, she and Hayate wanted. Fate just kept a serious expression.

~0~

Hayate ran happily, bouncing and turning occasionally to see Arisa and Suzuka looking at her from a distance. The two girls had noticed her friend's strange behavior, but noticing such joy in her eyes, her smiled full of life, they had decided to keep quiet for now.

When they reached the school, some students directed strange looks at them. Hayate ignored them completely. There were still whispers about the decision of the previous day, but Hayate wasn't going to backdown now. That was the beginning of the fall from grace that Nanoha possessed, but it also was the beginning of a freer and more honest Nanoha. Hayate wanted to be convinced of this. Suzuka and Arisa were at her side, and when everything returned back to normal, she, along with Fate (she hoped) would support the real Nanoha on anything.


As soon as she spotted Fate walking down the hall to the classroom, delicately accompanying Nanoha in the wheelchair, Hayate froze in fear. She didn't know if she would be able to keep the mask if the blonde got offended by her presence again. Her new friends catch up with her and stood beside her. "Nanoha, is something wrong?" Arisa asked, making Hayate react and hide her lack of confidence.

When entering the room, she took a deep breath and stood in front of Nanoha and Fate.

"Good morning, Hayate-chan," Hayate greeted cheerfully. Nanoha smiled. "Good morning, Nanoha-chan." Nanoha's eyes twinkled. Both girls enjoying playing the role of the other.

"Hi, Fate-chan." She looked at the girl timidly. Fate watched her carefully, studying the situation, but there was no trick, this was the real thing, Hayate and Nanoha were being sincere. "Hi," she answered.

Hayate released the air she didn't know she had being holding and smiled wide. Now with more confidence, she dared to stretch out her hand in a friendly way. "I know we didn't start off with the right foot. I'm sorry I acted like a…" Hayate stopped to notice a menacing look as warning from Nanoha. "… as I've behaved. So let's start again. Let me be your friend." She whispered slightly raising her hand in front of her.

Let me be your friend. Let her be your friend. Hayate no longer knew if she spoke as Nanoha or Hayate.

Her hand shook a little keeping it raised. Fate looked at Nanoha next to her, and again looked back suspiciously and doubtful towards the offered hand. When Fate took a step and put her hand together with Hayate's, Fate sensed more than one released sigh. Hayate knew she still didn't have Fate's trust, but her acceptance was a first step. A glorious first step.


"You already know Arisa and Suzuka." She pointed at her friends behind her. "Let's all be good friends." Hayate wished out loud when after the first classes, the five girls gathered around Nanoha's desk, their lunches in hand.

Hiding her surprise better than Arisa, Suzuka smiled. The previous day she had already started to get to know the girl in the wheelchair and she was lovely, now it was the turn of her tall and quiet companion. "Hello, Fate-chan." Suzuka greeted, always friendly and predisposed. Arisa just waved her hand.

Putting some desks together, they made a perfect table for the five to eat. It was obvious that Arisa was uncomfortable with the new company, and despite being accepted, Fate remained distant and uncertain while Nanoha and Hayate seemed to be in their element. Suzuka, being more perceptive, tried to soften the atmosphere between the two blondes since her gentle personality made it easy to get along with any of her classmates with no problems.

"What happened to your mouth?" Arisa asked Fate point blank. The crimson-eyed girl lowered the rice ball she was eating and faced Arisa's green eyes frowning slightly. The question didn't show any concern in it, but there wasn't any malice either. It had born from a simple and innocent curiosity, without ulterior motives. But, even though she knew this, Fate didn't answer. Hayate glanced and saw a dark crust that cut the blonde's lower lip. A whirlwind of emotions stirred her heart; sadness, anger, compassion, tenderness… "I hit myself yesterday. A small accident." Fate said without giving further explanations. Half lie, half truth. It wasn't a bad answer given the circumstances, it avoided conflicts and mainly, it put an end to the subject eliminating the possibility of further questions.

Arisa blinked and opened her mouth again, but Suzuka managed to divert her attention. The rest of the meal was calmed with light conversations. For being the first time they got together like that, the result wasn't so bad.


"This is the birth of a great and beautiful friendship," Hayate yelled at the end of classes. "We must celebrate," she said on their way out of the school. "I say we go to Midori-ya." She announced to her friends. The four looked astonished at the outburst.

Nanoha frowned and yelled inwardly clenching her teeth. Even if the café was the family business, Nanoha's expenses were deducted from her pay. Hayate would ruin her.

"Sorry, Nanoha, we have violin practice this afternoon." Arisa apologized while Suzuka gave her a pained smile. The real Nanoha rolled her eyes when Hayate let out a "Oh, right. I forgot."

They had gone over those details hundreds of times and in her enthusiasm, Hayate did nothing but screw up. It was a miracle that no one suspected anything, could she really be as reckless as Hayate so that they didn't notice any change?

With sagged shoulders, Hayate watched her new friends leave. "Well, now it just the three of us, huh?" Hayate turned to face Nanoha and Fate who stared at her with blank expressions.

~0~

"I don't think this is such a good idea." Fate whispered in her ear nervously. Nanoha glanced at her. Fate seemed more frantic now than when Arisa and Suzuka were in the group. Why? It almost seemed like she was afraid of Nanoha, meaning, the body which was now inhabited by Hayate.

Upon entering the establishment, the bell on the door rang, Nanoha smiled at the familiar sound. Her parents turned to greet them, but Hayate beat them to it, "I'm back." She greeted. The gesture was nothing common on the original Nanoha, but everyone took the changes as something natural, as if it was a phase in the teenage growth of their daughter. Nanoha didn't know whether to be happy at the understanding and freedom they gave her or be disappointed.

"Nanoha," Momoko said surprised, but she quickly approach them to give a hug to her precious daughter. "I thought you'd go straight home." She said. Hayate smiled, Momoko saw her daughter had brought company and understood. Recognizing the handicapped girl she said with her loving and motherly smile. "Good afternoon, Hayate-chan. Glad to see you again." Nanoha felt her mother's warmth embracing her with those words. "Me too," she replied awkwardly.

Then the young Mrs. Takamachi faced the new face of the silent blonde. Fate stiffened. "Fa… Fate Testarossa, ma'am. Nice to meet you." She introduced herself hastily bowing. Momoko let out a laugh. "There's no need to be so formal." She laughed again.

Nanoha grinned. "You'd think you just introduced yourself to the parents of a girlfriend." She joked. Hayate grimaced for a moment regretting that Nanoha used those words. Fate turned red as a tomato. "Hayate!" Fate let out a shriek, her eyes wide, so flushed it seemed like smoke would start coming out of her ears at any time. There was some laughter by Momoko before she guided the girls to a table. "Where are Arisa and Suzuka?" she asked. Hayate explained that they had practice. Momoko nodded and took note of the orders to bring to her daughter and her new friends. With a smile she turned to her husband, behind the bar, and watched the three girls. "They look like good girls." Shiro said approving the change. Momoko nodded. Her daughter didn't usually make sincere friends easily, and although Arisa Bannings and Suzuka Tsukimura were lovely girls, it was good to see how Nanoha's circle of friends widened. Hayate and Fate seemed like a really good influence.


"Ugh. I can't eat anymore." Nanoha said with a smile. She gave the rest of her food to Fate who seemed to have a bottomless stomach and had already finished her own food. The blonde accepted it and Hayate whistled in surprise. Fate blushed slightly looking at the other brunette, and in doing so she blinked; trying to hold her laughter using her hand to cover her mouth. Nanoha copied Fate's actions and her eyes fixed on Hayate's face. If she were in her own body, Nanoha would be the laughing stock of more than one, but this one time, Hayate was the one being put on the spot, even if it was on Nanoha's body. She laughed and pointed to the face of the hostess. Hayate had chocolate all over her face. The napkin wasn't enough and the girl finally had to excuse herself and go wash her face on the bathroom. As she disappeared, Nanoha heard the sigh of relief from her companion. The blonde got completely relaxed in her seat. Intrigued, she couldn't help asking, "Are you okay, Fate-chan? Does Nanoha… really makes you that uncomfortable?"

Fate looked away, "Hayate, don't start. You know I don't like it when you get into that topic." She said sounding annoyed and with a slight blush on her cheeks. Nanoha on the other hand didn't know what Fate was talking about. Apparently, Hayate still had some things to explain. There was a slight silence until Nanoha decided to try something, "What if I tell you that I don't know what topic you're talking about?" Fate looked at her incredulous. "I would say that I don't believe you. You're Hayate, after all. It's hard to keep any secret away from you." Fate continued to play along thinking that Nanoha was just joking. Nanoha pouted. "Well, you did deceive very well about the things with your mother," she said without thinking. A hurt expression appeared on Fate's face and Nanoha immediately regretted having opened her mouth. "Fate-chan…" she whispered. "Sorry, I didn't mean… I'm sorry."

Fate looked at her blankly, but a hint of sadness showed in her crimson eyes. "I know, and partly you're right… but that comment hurt me, anyway." Fate muttered in a subdued voice. "Excuse me for a moment," she got up and went to the bathroom, leaving Nanoha alone on the table.

"Stupid." Nanoha scolded herself hitting her forehead with one hand. The action made her vision blurry for a moment. "Huh?" she said stupidly, but quickly regained focus. She looked at the direction of the bathroom and then started playing with her spoon while waiting. A small voice in her head wouldn't stop telling her that the secret that Fate still kept from her, was something important.

~0~

Hayate left the bathroom with a cheerful smile, which immediately disappeared when she passed Fate entering the room with long strides. Concerned she turned and went after her. "Fate-chan?" she quietly asked to see that the blonde had locked herself in a cubicle. Fate didn't answer. Hayate turned to face the mirror and washed her hands again absently, still watching the reflection of the door. "Was it an emergency? Did something made you feel sick? You know eating so much chocolate… you don't have to be embarrassed." She spoke with a smile. The door didn't open, but the sound of Fate moving behind it, told her that at least she had gotten a reaction. After a moment of silence she tried her luck again. "Hey, you can trust me. I can't show you I'm a good friend if you don't let me." She continued.

Seeing that Fate wouldn't come out, Hayate decided to leave her alone. She wiped her hands and sighed. "Don't take too long or Hayate's going to get worried". Just then, very slowly, the door opened and Fate decided to leave her hiding place, to Hayate's relief.

"Did something happened?" the brunette asked even though the blonde had yet to answer any of her other questions. Fate shook her head. "Did you have a fight with Hayate?" Hayate's tone was soft. "No" Fate said. If she had said yes, Hayate would have been very mad at the cute little Nanoha.

Fate looked down before looking at Hayate in the eyes. "It was my fault, something stupid… it's just that sometimes it's hard to be honest with others. Even when it's about small things that don't seem to matter. And then you feel guilty for having kept a secret that you knew you shouldn't have." Fate spoke a bit nervous, it could be seen that she didn't know how to explain the situation. "Have you ever felt like you're not capable of saying something? Not so much as lying, just not telling the truth. Keeping a secret not because you don't trust someone but because you trust them too much." Fate asked in a vulnerable small voice and Hayate felt the weight of her own guilt, her own secrets. She nodded slightly and looked away, unable to face her friend.

"It's as if you felt the need to keep something to yourself in order to maintain your own identity." Hayate whispered, lost in her own self reflection. The two girls looked at each other as if trying to solve a puzzle. Although their conversation was far from possessing any common element, at the same time it seemed like it was about the same thing. At one point it seemed like the conversation that the two girls were having was a deep introversion to the nature of human beings and their relationships, and then the next instant their words had no meaning.

"Exactly," Fate said with a slight smile and Hayate blinked. She had lost track of what they were talking about. "When you find someone who knows you so well, so much that they almost know you better than you know yourself, sometimes you come to doubt where the person that others had created ends and where your own true person begins. It's a bit scary, isn't it?"

"Are you saying that you feel like Hayate-chan is taking away your personality? Is that what happened?" Hayate frowned in concern. Fate, however smiled tenderly. "No, no. It's not that." The blonde waved her hands in front of her.

"Then… I don't understand." Hayate tried to concentrate on understanding the link between Fate's words and her escape from Nanoha's side. Sometimes Fate was very complicated and contradictory, always hiding her true feelings.

"Actually," Fate started to say, heading to the door. "right now I was referring, in some way, to you." Hayate was silent. She had to remind herself that Fate was talking about Nanoha Takamachi, the popular and spoiled girl, the teenager who always hid herself behind a mask of perfection. Now it was her turn to smile, Nanoha deserved a chance. "I'm changing." She defended herself. Fate knew it and nodded.

"Why?" Fate's question rang with the simplicity and innocence of a child. Hayate took a deep breath. Why? How could she answer that? "Because…" she hesitated, she opened the door slightly and pointed at Nanoha, sitting alone at the table resting her cheek on one hand while the other hand played with the spoon, clearly bored. "Because I've seen life in a new light."


The ruby-eyed girl intently looked at Hayate for a moment with a serious face. "You used to hate us." Fate said, it wasn't an accusation, there was no bitterness, only a slight curiosity and fear. Hayate smiled sadly, it was true, but now she knew Nanoha's real motives. "I used to," she said in a strained voice. "be jealous of you," she said, she didn't know to what extent that was true, but she could understand Nanoha's reactions better than Nanoha herself. "I was jealous of your freedom." she added eyeing her old body, bitterly laughing at the irony of the situation. Turning back to face Fate she forced a smile. "But now I can also be free, choose my own way to go, my own friends, be myself." Fate looked at her surprised.

Suddenly Fate took her hand gently and pointed at the table where Nanoha was entertaining herself making small paper balls with the napkin. "That girl over there is Hayate Yagami. My best friend." She said without knowing that the true Hayate was listening attentively. "That girl has suffered a lot, but she gets up every day with a smile. In spite of her limitations she's always willing to help others. She's brave, smart and funny. Always trying to draw a smile on the face of others." Fate took some breath to continue. Giving a slight squeeze to the hand she was holding. "Hayate is a fighter, trying her hardest each day, sometimes to exhaustion, but she never gives up. She's my inspiration. My reason to be strong. She is strong. Her will to live, her energy and way of seeing the world made me realize how beautiful life really is… despite everything."

Hayate had her eyes on Nanoha, seeing her body from outside, listening to Fate talk about her with such admiration and fervor; her eyes were starting to fill with tears from the emotion.

"So I understand you, and believe you." The blonde ended and Hayate was relieved, because one more word and she was sure she would have burst into tears.

"If you promise to take care of this friendship, it's yours."

Hayate looked up incredulous at Fate's offer. She looked at her stunned while the blonde blushed slightly under Hayate's strong gaze. "Are you serious?" Fate nodded. A smile made its way to Hayate's lips. With an enthusiastic cry, Hayate cheerfully hugged a bemused Fate. "I won't fail you." She promised pulling away from the tall girl. After recovering from the hug, Fate glanced at Hayate's bright eyes. "You know, there's something about you that reminds me of her." she said. Hayate tensed, she knew that sooner or later Fate would start to notice the details. She tried to hide it by imitating Nanoha's characteristic laugh, which distracted any of Fate's suspicions.

~0~

Momoko came to clear the table while Hayate and Fate were still in the bathroom. The woman smiled at the girl waiting alone and Nanoha smiled slightly blushing. She felt loved despite knowing that now to her mother she was just a stranger, a new friend of her daughter. Being left alone again, Nanoha had to stop herself from starting to rip another napkin. "They're taking too long." She grumbled eyeing the bathroom door. She raised her eyebrows when she distinguished her two friends through the crack in the door. Hayate was hugging Fate, in a very loving kind of way. She frowned when a wave of jealousy invaded her insides. The slight heat of rage turned into an icy sadness when she noticed how Fate seemed to be enjoying the embrace. She started to feel sick by the rapid change in her emotions and quickly took a drink from the small glass in front of her to calm down.

Fate and Hayate soon returned to the table together. Hayate smiled widely, you didn't have to a genius to know she was happy. Was it really that easy for others to read her face? Nanoha made a mental note to practice her facial expressions when she returned to her own body. Fate just smiled slightly. It was more difficult to know what was going through the blonde's head.

"Hayate, are you all right?" Fate asked suddenly turning her attention to her, sitting by her side immediately and taking her hand. The real Hayate also looked worried. "You look pale," she said carefully. Fixing her eyes on Fate, Nanoha blinked. "I'm fine," she muttered with little enthusiasm. Fate put a hand on her forehead, moving away her dark haired bangs. Nanoha was startled by the attention been given by the blonde. "Maybe it's best if we go home," Fate decided for the two, giving Hayate a look that said it all, thank you and I'm sorry. Hayate twisted her lips in a sad grin of understanding. "Sure," she nodded weakly. Nanoha wasn't feeling bad, but she said nothing, preferring to just leave. She scolded herself for her small attack of possessiveness, but although it was fleeting, she couldn't deny that she just wanted to enjoy Fate on her own.


On the way home, Nanoha let Fate push the chair all the way. She wouldn't admit it, but the fresh air had done her well, clearing her head a bit.

"Hey, Fate-chan," she called her silent companion. "Yes?" "Are you still mad?" Nanoha asked in a small voice. "No" Fate replied calmly. "Fate-chan" "Hmm?" After swallowing, Nanoha tried to keep the anxiety she felt away from her voice. "What happened between you and Nanoha in the bathroom?" This time Fate took a little longer to answer, Nanoha knew her smile had widened before answering, "We became friends."

"And that makes you happy?"

"Yes"

Nanoha was silent for a moment, thinking. "And nothing else happened?" "Huh?" Fate looked at her confused. "You guys took too long." Nanoha said without mentioning that she had seen them hugging. Fate suddenly stopped understanding her friend's insinuations. "Hayate!" she reproached to the other girl. "And for your information, no. Nothing else happened. We hugged and that's it." The blonde informed, still embarrassed, resuming her walk. Nanoha let out a laugh, to pretend, but then she smiled, relieved.

~0~

The alarm clock rang insistently and Hayate woke up with a yawn. She stretched like a cat, relaxing her numb muscles. She got to her feet with a jump and happily noticed that she was no longer sore. She got dressed quickly, went downstairs skipping steps and greeted the Takamachi family who waved back from the table. It wasn't very common for all the member of the family to be there at the same time, but that morning they were. She eagerly ate breakfast and went to school with a smile and a quick step. She stopped by a park, ran passing by a group of judokas doing their morning training. She jumped some obstacles with skill and laughed every second that her body was suspended in the air. She had fallen in love with the feeling of weightlessness, but she also loved the instant when her feet came in contact with the ground and her weight was cushioned on her knees, strong and resilient.

Arisa and Suzuka saw her arrive at their meeting place. Arisa once again complained about her friend's pace being too fast at such time of the day. Hayate couldn't help it. Life was smiling at her, now more than ever since she had gotten Fate back. Completely forgetting about Fate's feelings, the recent affection of Nanoha for the blonde and how complicated everything was, plus their own situation, Hayate was only thinking about how happy she was. She ran to school with enthusiasm and cheerfulness.


"Good morning," she almost yelled when getting to class. Her classmates looked at her as if she had gone mad, but Hayate ignored them, focusing on her newly acquired kindred souls. "Fate-chan," she said with a smile, "Hayate-chan" she followed it with a wink "good morning."

When Nanoha looked up to answer the greeting, Hayate immediately knew that something was wrong. "Hi, Nanoha" Nanoha whispered in a small weak voice. Fate looked at Hayate and upon the stunned face she found, she grabbed the one who a few seconds ago was a cheerful girl, to move her away from Nanoha's hearing range.

"Today Hayate is not feeling very good. I tried to make her stay home, but she's very stubborn and insisted on coming." Fate said a bit sad. Hayate glanced at Nanoha, who really didn't look very good, since the previous day she had been very pale and her dull eyes clearly showed her discomfort. "Help me convince to her to at least go to the nurse's office." Fate begged.

"Wow, Hayate, you look awful." Arisa's sincere and indelicate remark didn't seem to reach Nanoha's ears. "Hayate-chan, are you okay?" Suzuka was also worried.

Hayate saw Nanoha's clenched fists, her cold sweat. She, better than anyone, knew her own body, knew exactly what Nanoha was feeling right now, that hideous feeling, a chest pain that felt like claws ripping her insides. She felt terribly guilty that Nanoha had to experience such unpleasant situation. She approached Nanoha with a serious expression. "Hayate," she called her without the –chan. "go to the nurse's office, now. You can't play with your health that way. Remember our promise." The last sentence was said in a lower tone. They both had promised to take care of the other's body. After Hayate's simple order, Nanoha nodded slightly. Fate, surprised but at the same time a bit calmer, took control over the chair.

Hayate saw them go, but the knot in her stomach, the bad feeling, never left her. Concerned, she unconsciously bit her lip.

~0~

"Ugh" Nanoha groaned feeing the headache increasing. Fate sped up. "I told you you should've stayed home." Fate growled anxious. Nanoha smiled remembering how when opening the door in the morning, Fate had noticed right away, and if not for her own stubbornness, she would have forced her to stay in bed. But Nanoha didn't want to stay home, she didn't want to be alone. If she would have asked Fate to stay with her. Would she have done it? Possibly, most than likely, almost certainly. She looked at Fate's face above her, pushing the wheelchair through the hallways, concentrated, worried. Yes, Fate would have stayed to look after her, to keep her company, to pamper her. Despite everything she was feeling, Nanoha smiled.

They were in the nurse's office in a flash, but Shamal, the nurse, had yet to arrive. While waiting, Fate impatiently watched the shelves with medications. "Fate-chan," she called her and the blonde immediately turned. "Tell me your secret." She told her. Nanoha wanted to know. She hoped that her current state of vulnerability would play in her favor and Fate would agree. "What secret? Other than the thing about my mother, there are no other secrets between us." Nanoha took a breath with difficulty. "Please," Nanoha begged and at that moment she didn't care if she looked like the most pathetic girl in the whole world. She tried to recover some air to clarify her ambiguous request, but Fate closed her eyes sighing, as if knowing what secret she was talking about. "I guess I always assumed you knew. I know you know, but I've never said it out loud. It's embarrassing… although, if I don't do it, it would be like not wanting to admit it, right? And I don't want that. Even more now, I'm sure of it…" Fate stopped. Nanoha looked at her silent. "Say it out loud." Whispered the convalescent girl through clenched teeth.

Fate looked at Nanoha's eyes. She took a deep breath and gathered some courage. "I'm in love with Nanoha Takamachi," she murmured softly and it was as if that statement had taken the weight off her shoulders. A weight that fell over Nanoha like a giant rock. First her heart skipped a beat and then her insides froze.

"What?" she tried to say, but her voice didn't come out. She choked. It was as if someone had just clenched their fist with her heart inside and Nanoha screamed.

~0~

Hayate heard the cry of pain and her blood ran cold, she was fours steps away from the room and they disappeared in two leaps. She had gone after Nanoha and Fate not too long after they left because she was worried and certainly her instincts hadn't failed her. She quickly entered the room to find Fate holding Nanoha who was writhing in agony like a dying animal. Fate turned when she heard the door expecting to see Shamal, who would know what to do, who would end her friend's suffering. "Nanoha" she mutter in a small voice upon seeing her. Although she was firmly holding Nanoha so she wouldn't fall, her eyes showed that she was terrified. "Ahh" Nanoha gritted her teeth clutching to Fate's shirt so hard her knuckles were white.

Without waiting another second, Hayate took Fate's place of trying to calm Nanoha. "Fate, the medicine," she ordered with an authoritative voice. Fate controlled her panic. "It's in her bag…" before she even finished the sentence Fate was already out of the room like bats out of hell. "Damn it" Hayate growled, blaming herself for not noticing before the state in which Nanoha was in, regretting having let things get to that point.

"Hayate-chan… it hurts" Nanoha cried, using their real names. "it hurts so much". "I know, Nanoha, Hold on. Fate went to get the medicine." She murmured as she stroked her sweaty forehead. She should have mentioned to Nanoha to always carry her bag with her, which had some injections, for emergencies like this one, in the inside pocket of the bag.

Hayate had thought that suffering the pain that Nanoha was experiencing was the worst thing one could feel, but she had discovered that it was terrible worse to see it happening. Knowing that her friend was suffering and feel so helpless… unable to do anything about it.

Nanoha's shaky and tense body relaxed under her arms and Hayate froze to see that Nanoha had lost consciousness. Her fingers immediately went to find her pulse and was horrified to notice it weakening. Resting her against the chair, Hayate left Nanoha alone while her eyes traveled like crazy through the shelves. She opened a couple of drawers to find what she wanted.

"Damn it," she muttered a second time as she injected the prepared solution with a syringe like the ones used by diabetics.

"Nanoha-chan, god, come on wake up, wake up!" Hayate yelled lightly hitting her cheek. Nanoha lifted her tired eyelids. Hayate smiled slightly, relaxing. "You really scared me for second there, what would I do if you leave me with no body, you idiot?"

Nanoha smiled slightly. Just then, Fate came in panting with a pale and frightened face.


Fate dropped the bag on the floor, taking big gulps of air to recover from the run. She carefully observed the scene, she saw the object still in Hayate's hand and the dazed and pale face of Nanoha. With watery eyes and filled with emotion she hugged Hayate. To Fate, Nanoha had just saved the life of her oldest and dearest friend. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." She repeated in a small voice again and again, saying the word softer and softer, like a distant eco.

Upon the emotional display of gratitude from Fate, Hayate didn't know how to react. After what had happened she was somewhat stunned.

"Hey, the one who almost died is me. Is there no hug for me?" Nanoha's voice was raspy and weak, but happy. Hayate and Fate turned to face her. And on their own accord, they both embraced her.

"What's going on here?" Shamal had just arrived.


By order of Shamal, Nanoha had to stay in the nurse's office, tucked in a nice bed. The nurse called Signum and the guardian was on her way to pick the girl up. Hayate and Fate were forced to return to class.

"I'll go see you when school ends, okay? Now rest and get recovered." Fate told her before she left, kissing her tenderly on the forehead. Hayate watched with a slight smile. "I'm also going. But if you want to be spoiled again, just ask, don't scares us to death like that, okay?" she tried to joke. Nanoha let out a laugh that was followed by a cough. "Ugh. Being sick is a bummer," she complained and seeing her friends she added, smiling, "But I get to skip school."


"Hayate is a little weird lately," Fate said on their way back to class. Hayate eyed her. She could pass more unnoticed as Nanoha to Fate's eyes because the blonde hadn't known much of her before, but Nanoha as Hayate was pretty obvious. She said nothing. She was surprised when Fate took her hand. "Even so, I don't know what I would do without her. You saved her life and I'll never be able to thank you enough for it."

Hayate swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat and with a calmed expression she stopped Fate and faced her. "Just be my friend. Like you're with her."

Fate took Hayate's face in her hands and slightly bumped their foreheads together, keeping that position and staring with her crimson eyes at the blue-violet of the other girl. "You can count on me, Nanoha. It's a promise." She whispered with one of her tender smiles. Hayate smiled tremulously. She was so happy. She had missed Fate's intimacy so much. Her eye's stung and she knew she was about to cry, but didn't. She could only mumble a "thank you" which was nothing compared to what she really felt.

To Be Continued…


T/N: First of all, I'm really sorry, I took me so long to update, well it wasn't really that long, but longer than usual. I was horribly sick and then when I was better, I had tons of make-up to do, but anyway I'm back and with a new story, yay, I was finally able to post the third story after about two months of waiting. But well, continuing with the topic of this story, we finally heard Fate say she's in love with Nanoha, what is Nanoha going to do now? Well, we'll find out next chapter, I hope you like the preview, it's very interesting, let's see if any of you can figure out what's happening. So, thanks for reading and as I always say, please review. :)


In the next chapter:

"Hayate…" Fate interrupted the silence. Nanoha turned already used to being called by that name. Fate seemed nervous. The blonde was really clumsy with words, extremely, but her eyes and her body sometimes spoke for themselves, more than what words could express. "Hayate," she repeated "are you happy?" she asked out of the blue in a whisper. Nanoha leaned on her hands and turned her body towards the blonde. "…" she was speechless for a moment. How would she answer that. First she had to evaluate the question. Was she happy?


"Why didn't you tell me? Why keeping this pain all to yourself?" Nanoha accused her. Hayate looked down. "Hayate-chan" her name was whispered in a broken voice. Hayate looked up to see Nanoha with watery eyes. "I'm sorry," Hayate whispered "I'm sorry" Tears began to slide down Nanoha's cheeks.