AN: This is for all of you who guess what's going to happen next. Well done TaylxBayl, luvvampluvdog, hayleygirl, logannicole93, a rose by any other name715, Ms.XJacobXBlack, BellaCinderella, PeaceLoveTea.


Chapter 7

After Alice brought me back from the bathroom…again, we settled down at the table.

"What are we doing?" I asked looking from one face to the next.

"Playing strip poker, remember?" Emmett asked. I just laughed hysterically at him again. He stared back stoically.

"Seriously?" I said when no one else joined in my laughter. Emmett nodded. "Uh uh, I'm not getting naked."

"That's okay Bella, you don't have to!" Alice said from beside me. "That's why I had you put on a swim suit. Whoever gets down to their swimsuit first looses. Eventually, one person will end up with everyone else's clothes."

I considered it. I wouldn't have to get naked, and it sounded like a lot of fun. I wasn't sure why I thought it would be fun, I was normally very self-concious about my body. "Well, as long as I don't have to get naked I guess…"

"Cool!" Emmett started dealing the cards, and I took another drink. When did I get another bottle?

Unsurprisingly, I lost the first hand. Emmett got my Jacket, and Alice's and Rosalie's right shoe. I would have given him my shoe too, but it was way too hot in their house.

There was a tense minute where Alice attempted to strangle Emmett for trying to fit his sneaker-clad foot into her strapy designer shoe. Finally, Emmett agreed to wear it on his hand. He then tied my jacket around his head, unable to get even one arm though it.

The next round, Rosalie won. I forked over my shoe, and watched Emmett give her Alice's high heel. Alice gave Rosalie the sweater she worn over her tank top. I decided it was time for another trip to the bathroom, so I stood up unsteadily. The floor felt really uneven, I'd have to ask Esme about it.

I tripped over the couch on my way out, and once I'd righted myself I promptly walked into the doorframe. Emmett choked on his laughter causing him to fall backwards into the piano. There was a loud crack and everyone's eyes widened. Emmett stood up carefully to survey the damage. Luckily, he'd only destroyed the bench, leaving the actual piano unharmed. Even so, the prospect of Emmett's continued existence looked dim.

"Ooh, Edward's gonna kill you..." I sang obnoxiously. Then I whirled around to head back towards the bathroom and ran into the doorframe for a second time. Alice sighed and carried me to the bathroom. When I was done, we returned to the living room for the third round. The shattered piano bench had disappeared. However, another bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade had magically appeared.

Rosalie dealt the cards and took a drink as I looked at which ones I had gotten. Possibly the worst hand in existence. Sigh. Alice won with a full house and gleefully took my other shoe. Emmett went to hand over his sneaker, but Alice shook her head.

"I want your shirt!" She declared.

"No way, I didn't get to pick what piece of clothing I got from you!" He protested.

"You didn't ask," and she gave him a very frightening glare. He gave her his shirt.

"Rosalie, I want your left shoe." She silently handed it over. Alice cheerfully dealt the cards out. I picked them up and glanced at what I had been dealt. I did a double take. I had a full house. I grinned evilly.

"Does the phrase 'Poker Face' mean anything to you Bella?" Alice asked.

"Nope!" I grinned. She shook her head. I won that hand easily. "I want your other shoe Alice," I told her happily. She handed it over and I stuck my foot into it. I looked at Rosalie. "I want Alice's other shoe." She gave it to me and I slid my foot into it. I noticed vaguely that the color of blue matched my halter top really well. Alice had probably seen this coming.

I took a moment of consideration. Emmett had my jacket, one of his shoes and his pants. I didn't want my jacket back; it was way too hot in this house to wear it. I made a mental note to find the thermostat and turn it down. I opened my mouth to ask Emmett for his shoe but Alice stopped me.

"Ask for his pants Bella!" She whispered in my ear. I giggled loudly.

"That's not very nice!" I whispered back.

"Oh come on Bella, just do it," Rosalie said from across the table. Suddenly, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"I want your pants Emmett," I declared. He took them off and handed them to me, grumbling something about being drunk.

"Getting her drunk isn't as much fun when it turns on you, is it Emmett?" Rosalie asked snottily. I let out a bark of laughter and swayed from side to side. I held his pants in my outstretched hand and looked at them.

"Well now that you got them, you have to wear them!" Emmett declared. I shrugged and stood up unsteadily. When I lifted my leg to step into them I fell face forward and was caught yet again by an exasperated Alice. She helped me into the pants, which were about four times to big for me. Finally, we settled back down and Alice handed the cards to me.

"Alice," I whispered. She looked at me. "I need to pee again!"

"Again Bella?" She asked uncertainly. "Is this normal Emmett?" She looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he said offhandedly. Alice carried me to the bathroom again, and helped me out of Emmett's pants. Then she helped me undo the top button of mine. When I was finished, she helped me back into them, and carried me back to the living room.

I picked up the cards to try to shuffle them and they slid right though my hands. They all scattered on the floor. "Oops," I said peering down at the floor.

"Got it!" Emmett said and gathered them up vampire speed. "You want me to deal them for you Bella?" He asked. I nodded and he quickly passed them out. I looked thoughtfully at the cards in my hand. They were all black. I was going to win again! At the end of the round, Emmett had a straight, Rosalie had two pair, and Alice had one pair.

"I've got a royal flush!" I cried out, throwing my arms in the air. "I win!"

"Uh Bella?" Emmett asked, "There are clubs and spades here. It's only a flush if they're the same suit. And it's only a straight if they're in order."

"Oh…alright then. I forgot. Who wins then?" I asked.

"Me!" Emmett replied evilly, "And I want your shirt!"

"I don't know…" I said. I couldn't put my finger on it, but for some reason that seemed like a bad idea.

"That's the rules Bella!" Alice sang out. I shrugged and pulled the halter off, leaving me in my bikini top, Emmett's pants, and Alice's shoes. I handed Emmett the halter top and he went to tie it around his arm.

"No, no, no!" Alice chided. Rosalie also had a mischievous glint in her eye. "You have to wear it, that's the rules."

"It's too small!" Emmett protested.

"It stretches silly!" Alice told him.

"Here, let me help you," Rosalie added silkily. They converged on him, and suddenly, he was wearing a blue halter top. It was stretched to the limit and it only came down to the bottom of his ribcage, leaving his stomach exposed. His muscular shoulders bulged out either side of the shirt and the little sparkly ornament that decorated the top twinkled merrily on his collar bone. They had tied my white Jacket around his waist, just below his hipbones, on top of his black swim trunks. He looked ridiculous.

He glowered angrily, probably at the loss of his manhood. "Fine," he said exaggerating the word, "but in that case, I want both of your pants." Alice and Rosalie exchanged looks and handed him their pants. Rosalie's swim bottoms were red and very revealing and Alice's were yellow and bright.

"Okay," I said after I gained control over my hysterics, "Now whose turn is it to deal…those things?" I pointed at the card deck.

"Mine," Emmett said triumphantly reaching out for the card deck. "Jeeze Bella, you are really drunk." I started laughing hysterically again, and Alice reached over to steady me.

"Am not! I feel just fine!" I told him.

"Can you walk a straight line?" He asked looking suddenly less sulky and more mischievous.

"Psh, of course, I can," I said as I stood up wobbling slightly. I concentrated really hard on walking forward and was able to take several steps before collapsing to the ground. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling laughing my head off. "Maybe I'm drunk," I told Emmett.

He picked me up and sat me back down on the couch. I went to pick up my cards and Alice stopped me. "I don't actually think we're going to have time for another hand."

"Why not?" I asked. She looked towards the door, and as I watched it opened and Edward stepped into the house with a stunned look on his face.

"Edward!" I squealed happily, "I'm drunk! Come play strip poker with us!" I thought about it for a beat. "Actually, Alice, can you take me to the bathroom again? Then we can play another hand." Edward's mouth remained open, and he seemed to be looking for something to say. Carlisle and Jasper stepped around Edward to survey the scene before them. Their mouth's dropped open too.

"Uh, Edward?" Emmett said, sounding almost sheepish, "I can explain…"

"I seriously doubt that," Edward growled.