A short one full of angst - tissue alert! Thanks for the lovely reveiws - it is so nice to know people are reading and enjoying.

Chapter 7

It had been three weeks since the attack. Helen spent the entire time either in the infirmary or in her room, not even leaving for meals. She remained in an awake, comatose state, never even acknowledging anyone who entered her room.

James had yet to come near her, other than to briefly check the incision he had had to make in her stomach in order to try and save their child's life, but it had been too late, the poison had spread through Helen's system too quickly, the baby had already died. James had had to supress his grief and concentrate his energies on trying to save Helen. He had nearly lost her three times in that first 24 hours.

Once they hit the one month mark James knew they would have to speak if they were to have any chance of salvaging their relationship. With that in mind he entered their room – a room he hadn't even wanted to occupy for the last month.

"I think it's past time we spoke don't you?" he greeted solemnly.

Helen looked up at him with glazed eyes that had obviously shed a lot of tears and he almost forgot his anger at her – almost.

"What do you think needs to be said James – your actions have made it abundantly clear that you blame me entirely for the loss of our baby – believe me, nothing you can say can possibly make me feel any more guilty than I already do".

"Dammit Helen you were reckless, just like you always are! You put your life and the life of our child – a child you claimed to want more than anything – at risk for something you know damn well you were ill equipped to handle on your own even if you hadn't been pregnant – but you always know best, you always have to do things your own way, regardless of consequences. This time you paid the highest price and you also made me and our child pay too. You made our child pay with it's life!"

Helen looked at James mutely. She was wrong, apparently he could make her feel worse. She though briefly of trying to explain that she had never intended to go anywhere near the creature, that she would never have even considered going if he had been home but in the face of his anger and grief she knew it would be pointless.

They remained looking at each other silently and sadly both aware of the tears sliding down their faces. Both knowing this was the end for them. Helen craved the feeling of his arms around her one last time telling her everything was going to be okay but she knew this time it wouldn't be okay. This time there would be no strong, supportive James to help her work her grief. It suddenly hit her that she had lost so much more than their child.

One month later Helen entered James' office. They had barely spoken in the last month, the chasm between them ever widening which is what ultimately prompted Helen speaking to him.

"James?" she said quietly but confidently.

The only response she received was a lifting of his head to look at her.

Helen took a deep breath and began, "This situation is not healthy for either of us. You can barely look at me and I can't look at you without being overwhelmed by what we have lost, and I am not just talking about the baby." She looked at him – still no reaction.

"I have decided it would be best if I left." She was sure she saw a spark of something in his eyes then, she just didn't want to look too closely in case what she saw was relief rather than regret. "I was thinking of perhaps America or Australia, starting over, possibly even creating a network of sanctuaries throughout the world. I think I want to focus on work, on building something I can be proud of. I love you James." She choked trying to get the words out. "More than anything I wanted to create a family with you but I think we both know our relationship isn't going to survive this. I would rather leave now before we further hurt each other. I hope that one day we can rebuild the friendship we once had. I treasure you in my life and I can't bear the thought of losing you forever."

"America or Canada. You should go to either America or Canada." Was the only response she received. Tears streaked down her cheeks.

"Right, okay then." She waited for him to say more, to say something, when nothing was forthcoming she turned to leave, her heart breaking even more if that was possible. As she reached the door he finally spoke.

"We will become friends again Helen, it is just going to take time." He rose and walked to her taking her hands in his. "It is just hard to have everything I ever wanted within my grasp to have it ripped away so cruelly and to know that it was so unnecessary. Logically I understand, I am just having trouble dealing with the emotions."

Helen looked up at the man that would always have a special place in her heart. "I will contact you when I am settled and let you know where I am."

James nodded and released her hands as he watched her walk out of his life.