It's hard writing this chapter. Reading discretion is advise, it might wake some of your demons...it did in mine.


Breathe Again

(Sara Bareilles)

...

For anybody who have loved, and lost.

There are kinds of love that lasts a lifetime. The first time they laid eyes on each other, was on a mutual friend's party. It's Lorna's birthday party, held on Nicky Nichols' apartment. Lorna Morello is Nicky's girlfriend. She, Piper and Polly are studying at University of Southern California together. Although they're taking different courses, they were able to become close as they live on the same dorm in campus. She and Polly arrived together around 8pm, as the party was just getting started. There were lots of people coming still, as the night progressed. Piper is talking with Brandon Cash, her insistent ex boyfriend. Piper Chapman is a debutante. Having raise by wealthy parents, she was never used to have less than what she deserves. Same goes to the guys she dated. Brandon is a varsity of the USC football team. He was well liked and praised by many, to say that her parents like him, is an understatement. They adore him. He was even more their child, than Piper sometimes. So, when they broke up four months ago, because she found out that Brandon cheated on her one time with their team's cheerleader, they were broken hearted, more than she is. Piper moved passed it, but Brandon seemed to still have hang ups about them. Despite her upper class upbringing, Piper doesn't judge people easily by their social status. She even usually found kinder, honest, and true people, that is outside her social circle.

It's probably around 11pm and he's still currently talking her ears off, when she set eyes on the brunette. She saw her come inside, as Lorna opens the door for her. They greeted and hugged each other briefly, as the brunette immediately heard her name being called by Nicky.

"Vause! Fucking late man!"

"Sorry, kid. OT." She answered, as she approached the wild haired woman.

Piper didn't notice that she was staring, until she heard Brandon's irritated mumbling and abruptly leaves. She looks at him for a moment, but dismissed his antics, as her gaze gravitated again towards the brunette. Piper was mesmerized. She openly dated both genders before, but something attracts her towards the dark haired woman, with secretary glasses. There's an atmosphere of secrecy around her but at the same time, she seemed to be gentle and harmless. She continually gazed at the brunette, when Lorna shoves her.

"Shit!" She said startled, as Lorna chuckles.

"Nice view?" Lorna teases.

"What? No…I mean...what are you saying?" She rumbles.

"Piper, I know you're staring...and I understand. C'mon!" She said, as she drags Piper by the hand. They walked towards where Nicky and Alex are talking.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey." Nicky said, as Alex sends a tiny wave on their way.

"Nice party, Lorna. You have quite a theme." She teased, as the living room was decorated in pink.

"Thanks, Alex. I know!"

"Don't listen to her babe. It's beautiful."

"Aw, thank you baby." Lorna said, as they kissed each other. Alex rolls her eyes on the gesture, as Piper stands on the side watching. Their eyes met briefly. Alex smiles at the blonde pleasantly, as Piper begins to blush a little.

"Oh, right! Piper this is Alex. Alex, this is my friend, Piper." Lorna said introducing them. They greeted each other, sending warm smiles and intense gazes. Polly calling her urgently, to join in the party at the living room, interrupted the contact. She dismissed her, as she stays rooted, starting a conversation with the brunette. Before she knows it, she felt being dragged away again. "Jesus! What's with the dragging me around!" she murmurs. She looks back at Alex apologetic, as the brunette waved goodbye at her.

The next she saw her was almost midnight. She saw Alex outdoor at the patio silently seating, just watching the party from the outside. She clears her throat, not to startle the brunette, as she lifts her gaze towards Piper.

"How come, you're in a party but not partying?" Alex chuckles on her question, as she pushes her glasses more towards her nose.

"Not everyone is born with a silver spoon kid. I have work tomorrow, unlike you and all of these royalties."

"I haven't seen you around?"

"Not from here kid."

"Where?" she inquired gently, as she sit besides her.

"I work, or school?"

"Ugh…both."

"Barista, in Coffee Club. I graduated Business Ad, Economics, two years ago, LACC. I decided to keep my apartment, while I searched for a job relevant with my course."

"Cool." She said genuinely, as Alex smiled.

"You?"

"Third year, Journalism. USC."

"I knew it." Alex replied teasingly, as Piper frown at her but smiled after."

"How did you know Nicky?" Piper inquires attentively, as she drinks her cup of beer. She was intrigue by the honesty of this girl.

"Old friends in high school. Nicky's a good friend. She didn't care about any social standing, unlike other people. Although if you met us back then, you'll see how different our lives are." She said fidgeting with her glasses.

"Not all royalties are judgmental, servant." She jokes, as Alex chuckles at her slurring words.

"Had enough of the party?" Alex asks, as she sips on her beer bottle.

"Hmm…it's suffocating sometimes."

"Really? The princess had enough of the attention?" She said teasing.

"Don't judge. There's more in the story of the princess you haven't heard." Piper said sullenly. Alex observes her demeanor, viewing honesty on her words. She was intrigue with this girl.

"Really? Like what?"

"Like, maybe...the princess, is a prince." Piper said revealing, as Alex raises her brows and laughs audibly on her joke. They both laugh for a while continuing their drunk talk, before Alex gets serious with her question.

"What's your story kid?" She asks sincerely, as she looks at Piper. The blonde looks at her intently getting lost at her emerald orbs hiding behind her glasses, before it registers that Alex asks a question.

"Sorry. Ugh...mom's a denial alcohol dependent, dad's a decent womanizer...if that makes any sense." She giggles on her own description, as Alex edges a smile on her lips. Maybe, she misjudged the blonde. There's more to this girl than the social circle, she's privilege enough to have.

"What's yours?" Piper asks interested.

"Well, mom's an elegant waitress...dad's an honorable absent parent." They looked at each other and erupt in an audible laughter, as they toast on the hilarity of the ugly truths in their lives.

"And they say...our generation is messed up." Piper said drinking on her cup of alcohol.

"Well kid...they forgot who raised it." Alex said concluding, as Piper spit the alcohol on her mouth, creating a sprinkle on Alex's jeans. They burst laughing again.

"Oh my...fuck! Sorry..." She said brushing the wetness on Alex's jeans by her hand.

"It's fine kid."

"I like you." Piper said genuinely in her drunken state. She realizes her slip, and the weight of her words. She felt Alex gaze on her keenly, as she felt the alcohol and a warm feeling rose to her cheeks.

"You're blushing kid. It's okay...and I like you too." Alex said softly. They looked at each other, as a smile slowly edges on both of their lips. They continued talking, paying little to none attention towards the party they began to feel indifferent to.

...

The exciting part of getting to know someone is the discovery of a mystery that not everyone gets to know.

Her and Piper have been spending a lot of their free time together, since the party on Nicky's. If the blonde is not hanging out with her university crowd, she often visits Alex on her work. She waits until Alex finishes, and then they will head to whatever that is in their plans that day. If Alex gets a free time, she often went to Piper's school to meet her. They both enjoyed the hilarity of each other and as well as the warmth of their unexplainable bond. They were comfortable, and there's no pressure to act a certain way. Their weirdness compliments each other, as their silence is relaxed. Their closeness has sparked some news around their friends, which had been the topic of teasing whenever they meet. They decided to have lunch together when their schedules allowed. Alex, Piper and Polly seated together, while Nicky and Lorna sits across them.

"Vause, my aching heart is breaking. Please don't tell me you trade my loving friendship with Chapman!" Nicky said joking, as they ate.

"Shut up!" Alex answered, as she threw a single fry on Nicky. Lorna chuckles at her, as Piper reddens lightly. Polly bumps her shoulder to Piper's, as she joins the teasing.

"So what if they're going out?" Lorna asks.

"Piper's single. Are you single Alex?" Polly asks, as Piper was shocked on Polly's forwardness.

"She's single!" Nicky said excited.

"C'mon guys, can we eat in peace?" Piper finally voice out, as a smile slowly edges on her lips.

"You're like kids, you know?" Alex said, dismissing the topic. They continued teasing the pair, as both continuously dismiss the topic.

When they've finished lunch, Polly excuses herself as she has one subject in the afternoon, while Nicky and Lorna said their goodbyes too, claiming to have something important to do. They were both free in the afternoon, so they decided to just hangout and make the most of it. They were walking towards an ice cream shop, when Piper was intrigued about something.

"Alex, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you ever look for your father?" Alex was silent for a while, making Piper feel uncomfortable. The blonde felt she crossed a line and was about to apologize when Alex speaks.

"I thought about it before. But as time went on...I begin to realize that if a person really loves you, they'll make an effort to stay. I move passed it. I still have questions, but I came to a point where I stopped looking for answers." They were comfortably silent again for a while, before Alex speaks.

"Sorry, I rumbled." She said, as pushed her glasses more to her nose.

"No…don't apologize. That's actually my favorite thing to do." Piper jokes, as they both laugh at the truth of her words.

"I meant to ask, are you doing something on Saturday?"

"Ugh, that's my rest day so I'll be at the couch." Alex said, as they both giggled.

"Why? What's up?"

"I was wondering if you might want to go with me in a concert?" Piper asked hopeful.

"Oh."

"It's Third Eye Blind."

"Really? Wow, that's cool. I like them."

"Yeah? Me too!" Piper said excitedly. She continued walking when she felt Alex have abruptly stopped.

"Alex? Are you okay?"

"Ugh...I want to go Piper, but the money is tight on my part right now." She said shyly, playing with her glasses, as she avoids the blonde's blue orbs.

"Hey, it's fine. It's on me." She said comforting, as she places a hand on Alex's arm.

"No. You don't have to, that's expensive. You can ask someone else." Alex protests, still avoiding the blonde's gaze. She was suddenly hit by the realization of how far apart their social standing is.

"Alex." She called the brunette, as she slowly looks at Piper.

"I want to go with you...and besides, I'm the one who asks." She said smiling, as Alex smiled back. She realizes that Alex's main insecurity is about not having enough. She doesn't want Alex feeling this way, so she lightens up the mood a little.

"Besides, you can always treat me with coffee on your shifts...now lets go! I'm really craving for an ice cream, right now." She said smiling, as Alex smiles back. She held her hand and drags Alex towards the shop, not letting go.

...

They had been busy at school for quite sometime, so Nicky invited them to hangout that Wednesday. She studies digital film making, at LA Film School. She made sure before, that though her and Alex went on different schools, they get to spent time with each other like they used to. She also knows that Alex sometimes feel a little less as a person, because she lack financially. She always reminds her that money is important, but it's not everything. They agreed to meet at Black's, a bar lounge near, to unwind. It was only the four of them, as Alex couldn't come because she has something to do, in which Nicky was fully aware. She and Lorna reached Black's earlier than Polly and Piper. They decided to wait inside and grab a table, while Nicky's orders drinks, as she's older than the rest of the girls. Few minutes later Polly and Piper came with a buff guy, with the same height as Piper.

"Hey guys, this is Pete." Polly said.

"Oh, hi! Nice to meet you." Lorna said.

"Wow, it's crowded tonight." Piper states. They seated on a round table not quite far from the stage and exchange pleasantries for a while. Pete was ordering drinks for them when Piper saw someone in her peripheral.

"Alex?" She called.

"What the actual fu...Nicky!" Alex turned and yelled.

"Oh, hey kid!" Nicky said excited. Everyone was surprise to see Alex, as Alex was shocked too.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ugh...unwinding." The wild haired woman said, teasing. The rest was looking dumbfounded on the exchange. Piper however, was taken aback on how beautiful Alex looked. She was wearing a half sleeves black dress with a combination of white, blue and green stripes in the middle. It was fitted well in her body, and falls two inches above her knee. She's wearing 3-inch high heels, making her taller than she already is. Her dark hair and glasses added, highlighting her porcelain doll like skin, making Piper admire her more. She was absentmindedly staring at her when she heard her name being called.

"Right, Chapman?"

"What?" She asks dumbly at Nicky. She heard the rest of their friends laugh at her.

"I said we came here to have a great time."

"Nicky..." Alex whined. It makes Piper wonder why she's so upset, until she heard someone from the stage announce the acoustics will start in a moment.

"Go!" Nicky said to Alex, as the brunette exhaled defeated.

"It's nice to see you kid." She told Piper before leaving.

"It's nice to see you too." The blonde replied, as Alex starts walking away.

"Wait, where's Alex going?" Polly asked, when Lorna points at the stage. Alex walks to the guy in front and whispers, as she climbs the stairs to the stage and seated in front of the Piano.

"Uhm...hi guys! I hope you're having fun tonight. I started singing in here a month ago. I didn't know what you heard, but you guys are crazy to be crowded in here every Wednesday..." She said through the microphone and smiled, as the crowd laugh and cheer. "So...well, yeah. Here goes nothing."

The crowd seemed to be silent as Alex slender fingers started stroking the keys in the keyboard, as the sound she's making flooded the room. She was slowly getting lost in the magnificent tune that her fingers and her soul were blending in. Piper was captivated. She was listening into something she hasn't heard ever in her young life.

'Today, we took a walk up the street'

'Picked a flower, climbed the hill'

'Above the lake'

'And secret thoughts were said aloud'

'We watched the faces in the clouds'

'Til the clouds had blown away'

'And were we ever somewhere else'

'You know, it's hard to say'

Her raspy voice mixed with warmth and gentleness caresses the words. She closes her eyes as the melody sweeps through her veins, feeling her heart's dance on the rhythm. Piper lost herself in the way Alex sings her heart. She felt warmth and tenderness stroking her soul. She drifts into Alex's voice sending her to a haze of adoration and pure emotions. It makes the music more beautiful than it already was.

'And it feels like now and it feels always'

'And it feels like coming home'

'Never saw blue like that before'

'Across the sky, around the world'

'You've given me all you have and more'

'And no one else has ever shown me how'

'To see the world the way I see it now'

'Oh, I, I never saw blue like that before'

'Oh, I, I never saw blue like that'

She saw Alex bares her soul on the song. She's hearing Alex's heart. The crowd erupted with roars and applause, as Alex ends the song. Their table was cheering, as Piper was still rooted on her chair flabbergasted, her heart is beating so fast in her chest.

"What the actual fuck!" Polly said amazed, as she turned and look at Piper.

"Damn, that girl is something else." Pete murmurs on the side. Nicky was still wildly cheering at her friend, as Lorna stood up clapping.

It was deep in the night when they decided to part. Alex walked her home to her dorm, as Lorna stays with Nicky, and Polly decided to stay around with Pete.

"I didn't know you play…and sing?" Piper said to her, shocked.

"It's nothing kid. It used to be a dare, until people seemed to ask for it. The manager agreed to pay me, so it's a deal." She said smiling.

"You were brilliant Al."

"Shut up! I'm okay." She said playfully shoving Piper.

"What? Have you heard yourself?" She said dramatically that earned a laugh from the brunette.

"You're amazing Alex…and I hope you try to believe it more." Piper said in a sincere tone, as Alex smiled. They continued walking and were feet away from her dorm when they heard someone calling Piper.

"Oh, hi!" Piper said to Brandon, as she was surprised to see him.

"Pipes, how are you?" he asks politely.

"I'm fine Brad…oh, this is Alex. " she said introducing them. Alex greeted him, and continued to stand in the side letting them talk.

"Hi! I know her, she serves us every morning." He said in a mocking tone. Alex drops her gaze on the floor and smiled, as Piper's brows furrows upon the arrogance of this guy.

"What do you want?" she said dismissive.

"Oh, I want to ask you this Saturday to…"

"I have a date this Saturday." She said cutting him off.

"And please Brandon, we're over. O-ver! Over! Done. I moved on, it's about time you should too." She said to him bluntly. Brandon was embarrassed, as she saw Alex brows rise, and bites her lower lip to keep herself from laughing. He gave Piper a look before dejectedly walks away.

"You are fucking cruel!" Alex said laughing, as the blonde shoves her on the shoulder.

"Not a fan?"

"No, not a fan. I'm your fan." She teases the brunettes, as Alex blushes lightly.

"Shut up!"

They both giggled and we're silent for a moment, when Alex recalls something.

"A date huh?" she teases the blonde.

"Shut up!" Piper said red-faced, as Alex chuckled.

"This is you kid." She said, as they stopped in front of Piper's dorm. They bid each other goodnight when Alex speaks.

"Your eyes."

"What?" Piper asks questioning.

"It's the song. 'I never saw blue like that' Shawn Colvin." Alex said, as she slowly closes the gap between them and gently kisses Piper on the cheek. She smiled at the blonde and waved, before she starts walking away. Piper was standing still, overwhelmed with emotions for the brunette, as she feels though her heart will burst with happiness.

...

Once in a lifetime, you'll meet someone who will take your breath away, not because you want them to but because they were meant to.

Saturday came, as Piper was ecstatic. She's excited to see the band and at the same time, hangout with the brunette. Alex came to her dorm, as they head together towards the concert. It's an open ground stadium so they made sure to be there early, so they would be up close to the stage. The concert was astounding, as the band performs most of their songs like deep inside of you, how's it going to be, jumper, never let you go. The crowd gets excited and everyone was having a great time. By the middle of it, semi charmed life plays and some people begin to dance in tune with the music. Piper was overwhelmed, as some people unconsciously push on her. Alex saw her uncomfortably trying to stay rooted on her side.

"Hey, Pipes come here." She said, as she gently held her hand and assisted her towards her front.

"Ugh...thanks!" She said, biting her lower lip to prevent a smile.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...this is nice." She said, as she tilts her head on the side to see Alex. The brunette smiled at her, as she rested her hands on Piper's hips. She couldn't concentrate anymore, as the overcoming feeling of being close to Alex is taking her attention. She felt Alex's warmth, and her breath lingers on her neck as she sings, sending shivers down her spine. Her heart is pumping so fast, she felt like losing breath. She faces Alex and looked deeply in her eyes, through her glasses. Alex was surprised.

"What's wr..." Piper cuts her off, as her lips crashed into hers. Her tongue slides in, forcing Alex to part her lips. It's a sloppy, urgent kiss. The kiss slowly died, as they parted.

"Well, that's a messy kiss." Alex poke fun at her, as she giggles, her hands are still on Piper's waist.

"Shit!" She said sheepishly. She buried her face on Alex's shoulder, as her cheeks reddened. Alex giggles on her antics.

"I'm sorry. I don't usually kiss like that. It's just I feel like I urgently need to."

"It's okay, kid. Just kiss me again. Pay for your sins!" She said joking, as the blonde chuckles. Their laughter died as they slowly close the gap on their lips again. She places her hand on both sides of Alex's face gently. They enveloped each other's lips softly, creating a rhythm, as their noses brushed slightly. She subtly opens her mouth, as she felt Alex's gentle tongue dancing on hers. The kiss lingered, as Alex gently pulled her closer and her left hand rested on her neck. The world around them seemed to disappear, as they were consumed by each other's warmth.

...

The concert has been the start of their relationship. They grew closer each day as they made an effort to spent time with each other. The blonde felt like she couldn't let the day passed without seeing Alex, and the dark haired woman made sure that Piper is a priority on her everyday agenda too. It was quite a thrill when she first spends the night in Alex's apartment. It's a one-bedroom apartment with oak floors, on the third floor of a decent neighborhood. The apartment is small but it's roomy and tidy. The living room is spacious enough for a couch, TV and a player. There's an organ on the side of the wall, where a picture of Alex and a woman in her late 40s is hanging. There's a wide hallway going to the bedroom and the bathroom across it. At the end of the hallway were a waist high maple wood black cabinet, and a large window is placed. Alex especially wants to sit in there, overlooking the city lights. She scolded her one time thinking the cabinet might break and hurt herself, but Alex just laugh at her. The kitchen was simple, black tiled, with cherry cabinets around. Her bedroom is small but light colored walls make it seemed like it's bigger than it is. A queen size bed was pushed on the wall, there's a small window with dark curtains and a tall black maple cabinet behind the door. She especially loves Alex's bed as the sheets and pillows are soft, and the orange and black colors compliment the laid-back feeling of the room. They first made love on that bed, three months after they started dating. Alex trapped her between the wall and her own body. She remembers it quite well as the three continues orgasm that Alex gave her, made her feel ecstatic and adored at the same time. She felt like for the first time, that sex isn't just supposed to be rubbing bodies, and that it is deeper and meaningful.

She explained this with Polly once, when they were hanging out on campus between their subjects.

"What's with your face?" her friend asks.

"What?"

"Piper, you have this 'I had sex' face."

"Shut up! I'm just really happy."

"Is Alex that great?" Polly teases.

"Whatever Polly! I'm not going to tell you any details of my sex life."

"What? You always share when it's terrible. Alex must have been really good."

"Shut up!"

"C'mon, Pipes spill! Or I'll ask Alex myself, if you don't." She jokes, as the horror on Piper's face show.

"You asshole! It's just…it feels right. She makes me happy." Piper said gently.

"I never thought that Alex is the only answer on your long time questions…I'm happy for you Pipes." Polly said, as she smiles. She returned the smile sincerely, as she counted the hours till she sees the brunette again.

They had been dating for 8 months now, and it's been amazing having each other. When people start to notice, there had been some comments, and stares. Some are because of envy, some are judgmental but both didn't seem to mind because they both knew that other people's opinion wouldn't matter. The week of final exams makes Piper stressed and a little cranky. She has spent so little time with Alex, as the brunette was having a busy week too, between her work and new job interviews. It makes Piper even grumpier. Polly called Alex on a Thursday saying her girlfriend is throwing tantrums every chance she gets. She decided to show up on her last subject and ask her for dinner. She was standing outside the building when Piper saw her.

"Alex?" She called surprise, as she walks towards her.

"Hey, kid." Alex said with a tiny wave.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" She asks, and pecks her on the lips. Piper didn't care about anyone paying them attention. She kisses Alex, hold her hand, touches her whenever she wants.

"Ugh...I just wanted to see you."

"Hmmm..." Piper hums, as she envelops Alex in a tight hug.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah. Exams makes me stress though...plus not seeing you in days." She confessed, as Alex laughs. They started walking towards Piper's dorm.

"You're so dramatic sometimes." The brunette teases.

"Are you saying, you didn't even miss me?" The blonde says offended, as she abruptly stops.

"No…I'm saying, maybe you wanted to go get some dinner with me and then sleepover after? You're so grumpy." Alex said softly, brushing both of her hands on Piper's shoulders, soothing her.

"Sorry. I was just...I miss you." She said softly, as Alex kisses her gently.

"It's okay Pipes. Now let's go to your dorm. Go change and get some clothes too. You're sleeping with me tonight."

"You're so nice. Whose girlfriend are you?" She said teasing, as they both laugh.

"I love you." Alex said suddenly, making Piper blushed. She felt her insides melt, hearing Alex says it first.

"I love you too." She answered honestly. She kisses her gently, as they continue to walk hand in hand towards Piper's dorm, making the blonde relax for the first time.

After dinner, they decided to watch a movie before sleeping. They were at Alex's living room being cozy, as Piper is spread on the couch while Alex is leaning on her, making her a human pillow. Alex knew that Piper has a personal grudge towards smelling fart. She has unintentionally feels the need to use the bathroom but she couldn't leave just yet, because the movie catches her interest as it nears the end.

"What's that? Did, you just fart?"

"Ugh...no."

"What's that sme...you fucking..." She cursed, as she pushed the brunette away, lightly.

"I didn't fart, okay Piper!" Alex said defensively, as she leans again towards her.

"What's that smell?"

"I don't know."

They continued watching the movie with intent. As the ending spills fills the screen, Piper stood up to place another movie.

"Where are you going? I thought, one more?" She asked, as she saw Alex stands up from the couch.

"Oh, yeah. Just pause it for a while…I need to shit!" She said running.

"You fucking asshole! I knew it!" The blonde said, as she pulled a throw pillow from the couch and threw it to Alex. The brunette dodges it, as Piper heard giggling from her. She smiled to herself, thinking how comfortable this is and she wouldn't exchange it for anything else.

...

Their first major fight involves Alex's pride and Piper's choice. They celebrated their first anniversary a week before, with Alex cooking and playing a song for her, as they made love in the remaining hours of the night, in her apartment. It's very simple but heart warming. Piper never felt this happy. But unbeknownst to her, Alex is feeling like a failure. She felt that she hasn't given Piper enough like she deserves. Combine that, and every let down on her job interviews, the brunette's mood is off. She's on the verge of lashing out, and one judging comment coming from a long time silent rival sent her at the edge. It was after her shift at the Coffee Club; Alex decided to grab a take out for dinner. She was on her way to a diner when she passed by Brandon Cash's group of friends. She dismissed the first few words blurted out about her, as it comes from an insecure good for nothing ex but when he said something deliberately about her mom being a call girl more than a waitress, and Piper deserving more, her anger escalates and before she knew it, she had punch him in the nose, so hard it bled.

"Fucking hell, Vause!" Nicky yelled, as she rushed towards her followed by Lorna. They were passing by when the commotion happened. Some people have stop the fight even before it started.

"Fucking asshole!" Alex yelled, as she shakes her sore knuckles. She saw Piper, Polly and Pete approaching too.

"What the hell happened?" Piper asks worriedly, as she saw Brandon's bleeding nose. The blonde notice Alex's foul mood a few days ago but the brunette always dismisses her worries.

"Really Piper? You're with her? Fucking low class." Brandon said in anger.

"What did you do Alex?"

"Really? Me?" Alex yelled, as she chuckles hysterically. She pushes her glasses angrily, more towards her nose.

"Vause…" Nicky tried calming her but the anger in Alex seemed to rise even more when she saw Piper checked Brandon's nose.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I'm asking because I didn't know."

"Guys…let's settle this somewhere else." Polly said trying to defuse any more tension.

"You know what, I had enough of this. This is fucking bullshit!" The brunette said angrily, as she starts walking away, clutching her hurt hand. Nicky rushes to follow Alex, as Piper just notice her injured knuckles. She felt extremely stupid for checking Brandon first, when she saw the blood.

"She must have been really pissed off for this. I haven't seen her lose her cool ever." Pete said in conclusion, as Polly elbowed her on the side.

"Alex!" Piper shouted, but the brunette kept walking away. Piper felt tears brimming at the edge of her eyes. It's the first time she's ever seen Alex like this, hurt and angry. Her calm and composed girlfriend, something must have really set her off to be this livid. She felt stupid. She felt Polly's hand on her shoulder consoling her, as a tear left her eye.

...

Nicky was able to convince her to stop, and she drags her to the nearest bar to let her cool down. She told Lorna where they are but specifically instruct her to not say a word to Piper.

"Vause..." She said gently, as she sip her bottle of beer. Alex was quiet.

"What happened there?"

"I was there…just to grab a takeout when Brandon intentionally says things and made a rise at me. I lost it Nicky. You know me, I don't usually do things like that." She said miserably. She felt horrible immediately after she threw the punch.

"I know, and I also know that when you do, it's just because you had enough."

"He insulted me. I can take that. I'm used of people calling me names...but he said something about mom too...and Piper. And maybe he's right, maybe Piper deserves someone better...someone who can give her things that she wants."

"Vause, shut up! We both know that's not true. Piper adores you. Listen to me kid, that girl loves you with all that she is." Nicky said, as Alex weighs her words.

"It's just makes me feel a failure sometimes Nick. I can't seem to give her what she wants...or be someone that she's proud off." She said as a tear left her eye. She wipes it immediately, as she sips her beer.

"She is. You haven't heard her talk about you every time. She talks about you like royalty, it sickens me sometimes. She talks about how mesmerize she is whenever you play the piano. She even talks our ear off saying how "wonderful Alex is." She said, as Alex chuckles on her mimicking Piper.

"Kid, there are things money can't satisfy. Give yourself some slack. Trust me, Piper's glad you're hers." She said side hugging Alex, as the brunette gave her a timid smile.

It's almost 9 when she reached her apartment. Her dinner was forgotten as she had a small talk with Nicky. She was about to call for pizza, when she heard a knock on her door. She opened it and saw the blonde standing there.

"Piper?" She said surprised.

"I...I bought Chinese. Nicky said you guys didn't eat." She said shyly. Alex opens the door wider, so she could come in.

"Where are your keys?"

"I have it. I just wasn't sure you wanted company."

"Pipes..."

"Your hand. It's still sore Al." The blonde said worriedly, as she saw Alex's injured hand.

"It's fine." Alex said, as she hides her hand at her side.

"Seat on the couch. I'll go get some ice." She commanded Alex, as the brunette obeys reluctantly. She placed the take out at the plates over the counter. She went to the fridge to go get ice but sees none, so she took the frozen peas instead. She walks at the couch towards the brunette, as she took Alex's hand and examines it. The brunette tries to protest a little saying it's no big deal. She placed the frozen peas over Alex's hand for the swelling, and let it rests on her thighs.

"I'm sorry." Alex said dropping her gaze on the floor.

"It's not your fault." The blonde answered. She talked to Nicky and found out what really happened. They were silent for a while before she speaks again.

"Alex...you're hurting me...what you said to Nicky...I don't want anyone else, you know that." Her voice shakes, as she tried to catch Alex's gaze. The brunette looks at her and slowly leans in, resting her head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry kid. There are just times that I feel like you're just settling."

"That's not true! And even if I am, I would settle each time with you." Piper said, as she hugs her tightly and place a kiss on her forehead. Alex wraps her other arm on Pipers back, hugging the blonde.

"Please be patient...while I try to believe what you see in me." She said timidly, as she buries her face on Piper's neck.

"Please don't go punching people, although it's sexy. Brandon deserves it, I may say. I think you broke his nose." She said joking, as Alex chuckles.

"I love you Al…I really love you." She said, as se gently grabs Alex's face with both hands.

"I really love you too Pipes." She answered back, as Alex kisses her gently. The kiss was interrupted by Alex's stomach protesting. Piper took the food from the kitchen, as she helps Alex eat in the couch.

...

It's past midnight on a Sunday night and Alex is about to sleep, when she heard whispers and murmuring in her front door. It couldn't be Piper, as she said she'd sleep over at Pete's, together with Polly tonight after their night out. She was alarmed and thought maybe it's a burglar trying to come in, so she grab a frying pan in the kitchen and slowly reach the front door. Her heart beats faster on her chest, as she raises the pan, ready for attack. She quickly opens the door, and about to whack the intruder's head when it registers who it is.

"Piper?" She questioned shocked, as the blonde shows up in her pajamas.

"Hi." The blonde whispers, as she waved shyly.

"Fucking hell! What are you doing? I almost smack you in the head!"

"Sorry, Al. I was searching for my key, so I didn't have to wake you." She said slurring.

"Get inside." Alex commands, as she steps inside the apartment and locks it after the blonde.

"Sorry." Piper said again, as she slowly walks to the brunette and pecks her. She releases her after, and giggles.

"I thought you're sleeping at Pete's?" Alex asks, as she place the frying pan in top of the cabinet near the door.

"Well, that's the plan. Until I couldn't sleep and kept on whining on going here and wanting to sleep with you." She said explaining as she chuckles.

"Are you drunk?"

"What? No!" She said defensively, trying to hide her swaying, but couldn't.

"Well maybe a little. Just a little." She said, as she gestured with her fingers. She hugs Alex tightly, burying her face on her neck.

"Did Polly drop you off?" Alex asks her, as she gently rubs soothing circles at her back.

"Hmmm..."

"Pipes..." She calls her name, as the blonde's clouded mind failed working.

"What?" The blonde asks, raising her head.

"I was asking if Polly drop you off?" Alex asks gently, as she brushes her golden locks at the back of her ear.

"Oh, no! Pete...with Polly."

"You're an idiot! C'mon, let's sleep." She said giggling at the blonde's state.

"Carry me!"

"What?"

"Carry me Alex! I'm drunk. I can't walk." She said whining.

"Piper, you're heavy you know...and the bedroom is just few steps away."

Piper didn't budge, and gave her well-mastered puppy dog eyes, that she knew worked well with Alex.

"Are you kidding me?" She said, as Piper stares still.

"Oh my fucking...fine! C'mon!" The brunette exhales defeated, as Piper's smile slowly edges on her lips. She raised her arms on Alex's shoulder, as she jumps slightly wrapping her legs on her waist. Alex wraps her on a tight hug, and walks towards the bedroom.

"Ugh...you're fucking heavy! What do you eat?" She said joking, as the blonde giggles like a little girl. Piper places kisses on her face, as Alex smiles edges on her face. She places her down gently at the bed, as she walks back to the door closing it.

"Let's sleep babe!" The blonde said complaining, as Alex switch the lights off.

"Move on your side." She said firmly, as she sat at the bed and place her glasses on the bedside table.

"You're terrible!" Piper jokes offended.

"I'm kidding babe." Alex said sweetly, lying down. She pulls Piper towards her, and hugged her tightly. The blonde smiles at the gesture, and wrap her arm on Alex's shoulder, as she briefly kisses her.

"I love you, Al. Goodnight!"

"Love you too. Goodnight kid!"

Alex buries her face on Piper's neck, but the blonde's adrenaline seemed to pick up, making her a little restless. Alex was on the verge of sleep when Piper decided to tease her again.

"Al, have you lock the doors?"

"Hmm...Yeah."

"Are the windows close?"

"Yes, kid."

"What about the lights, are they off?"

"Off."

"Are the..."

"Piper, I'm warning you..." The brunette says irritated, as the blonde chuckles. She looks at Alex's annoyed expression and pecks her one after the other. The brunette notices her evil antics, so she hugged her tightly and started tickling her.

"No…no! No! I'll behave. I'll behave, I promise." The blonde said pleading, as she laughs.

"Do you promise?" Alex asked, as she smiled.

"Yes, yes! I promise."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"No more talking Piper! Let's sleep." She said, as they both calmed down.

"No more." The blonde said, as she smiled and took Alex's face with both hands.

"I love you." Alex said softly with so much love, Piper felt her insides melt. She kisses Piper gently, as the blonde smiled sweetly.

She felt she's blushing, so she buries her face between the pillow and Alex's neck.

"I love you too, Alex." She said shyly, as she kisses her on the temple. She finally fell asleep on the same position, as she inhales Alex's scent.

She woke up earlier than Alex the next morning. It's a rare occasion that she does, as the brunette always woke earlier than her. She took the opportunity to observe Alex. She's really more beautiful without her glasses. Her serene face on the quiet morning is scenery she was glad she was able to see. She was lying on her front; both of her arms are under the pillow, as her left leg was wrap on Piper's. She brushes Alex hair behind her ear carefully, not to wake the brunette. She feels so much love for the girl in front of her it's terrifying. She softly kisses her left arm, as she brushes soothing circles behind her back. Alex's green orbs flutter a moment, as she slowly wakes up.

"Hmmm..." The brunette hums, as she turns and buried her face on Piper's neck.

"Good morning baby." Piper utters sweetly, as she hugs her and buries her nose on top of her head. They were silent for quite a while, content on each other's warmth, as they take on the quiet morning. She felt so much love and happiness inside her, she was afraid she's going to combust. Alex started placing fatherly like kisses on her neck, and she welcomes her gentle touches in her body. Before they know it, they were breathing raggedly, as their clothes was discarded on the floor. Their lips collided gently, as Alex opens her up softly gathering wetness in her fingers brushing her folds. Her thumb is rubbing circles on her clit. It takes a lot in Piper not to come right then and there. Alex's warm mouth sucked on her breast, as her tongue circled her hardening nipples. She tightens her grasp on her hair, when she felt Alex's middle finger slowly pushed inside her opening. She started pumping inside her, as Piper rides on the rhythm that she sets. Alex adds another finger thrusting in and out of her, as her thumb continuously brushed on her clit. "Aaahhh...baby" Piper moans as Alex's talented mouth gave the same attention to her other breast, as she reached her climax not long after. She was coming down on a high, when she felt Alex again thrusting on her as she added another finger. "I love you baby...come again." She said with so much love, Piper felt she's melting. Alex kisses her passionately, as their tongues dances on each other and she brings her again to reach her peak. Her hips thrusts on the tempo Alex has set. "Uuuhhhh." Piper moans, as she nears the edge again, as she heard Alex groan. She lets go a powerful orgasm, as Alex continues to pump bringing her down to a high. She was hovering above her smirking, when she was finally able to get back to her senses.

"I hate your guts!" She said briefly kissing her, as she smiles

"You're so ungrateful." She answers, as Piper chuckles.

"I love you too baby." She said looking intently at Alex, as the brunette blushed a little. Piper brushes her dark hair behind her ears, as they grinned towards each other.

"Okay. Let's start breakfast." She says, and about to leave, when Piper traps her in a hug.

"No. No...No, no! Not yet." She said protesting, as she wraps her arms and legs on the brunette.

"Pipes, you have a class in an hour and I have an interview..." She places a hand on Alex mouth interrupting her speaking.

"An hour and thirty minutes. I have thirty to spare...and I want you for breakfast too." She said as she softly kisses Alex. The brunette wasn't able to protest any longer, as she felt Piper's lip delves on her own. They continued their early activities, getting lost in each other.

...

The trouble is, you think you have time. - Buddha

Her phone kept ringing on the bedside table, forgotten. She was lying on her side of Alex's bed, staring on Alex's side as tears continuously fell on her eyes. Nicky is calling her again, but she deliberately ignored it. The last she answers, she heard the most devastating news, in her life. Alex...

It was in that morning, when she had that rare privilege to watch Alex sleep. They were happy. She felt all of Alex that morning, connecting deep within each other's soul and emotions. She hasn't felt that with anyone she dated before. Alex called her later that afternoon, excited about finally landing a job as a market research analyst in a company. She promise they'll grab dinner together, early that evening to celebrate. She waited on their approved restaurant; she waited and waited, except Alex won't be there. Nicky was the bearer of the awful news. She called Piper hysterically saying, "Alex is gone" in the other line. It was an accident. She was hit in the sidewalk, by an upcoming car when the driver looses its break. Piper's world was shattered into million broken pieces. She wouldn't believe it at first, her heart refuses to. She called Alex but she wasn't picking up, so she waited, and waited until Lorna shows up at the restaurant with blood shot eyes. Alex is gone.

The following days have passed as a blur. She's functioning on autopilot. She was there but she wasn't, it's like an out of the body experience. It only registers that it's real when she couldn't find Alex, while Diane shows up in black, and everyone around is wearing the same thing...Alex is gone.

She had cried oceans of tears. She wakes up in the morning hoping it's an awful dream. She hopes every waking hour that Alex will be there. She almost thought it was, when she saw Alex's discarded shoes on the living room once...but she remembers that it's the shoes she's been searching, days ago. She pleaded for days, to have one more day, to just see her face again, hear her voice, see life in her emerald orbs...to hug her one last time. She begged to anybody with a higher power, whoever is listening, to just take something away and give Alex back, anything, but nothing happened. Alex is not coming back. So Piper's angry now. She grabs her phone, still ringing, and throws it as hard as she can on the wall, and it breaks into pieces, like she is.

Polly worries about her, as she hasn't heard from her all week. She went to Alex's apartment, as Piper's roommate said she wasn't in the dorm almost two weeks now. She knocked for an hour with no answer. She called Nicky to come over, as Alex gave her a spare key before. They saw Piper at the hallway, seating at the top of the cabinet near the window.

"Pipes..." Polly said her name softly, not to startle her.

"She loves to sit here. I used to scold her seating at the cabinet...I didn't see what she used to see, overlooking this houses with lights." She said glumly, staring at the view, not bulging to glance at them.

"Chapman, have you eaten?" Nicky softly asks.

"What's the point?" She asks angrily, as she looks at them.

"What's the fucking point of all of this?

"Piper..."

"What?! Alex is gone. She was just gone. We didn't stand a chance. How cruel was that? She's just fucking gone! She's fucking selfish to leave me here like this! I fucking hate her! I fucking hate this!" She yelled and stands abruptly. Her knuckles turning white as she grips firmly. Before Nicky and Polly can stop her, she punches the window with all her might, breaking the glass. Her hand was bleeding but Piper welcomes the pain for the first time, as it felt different. It felt good, not coming inside her. She was about to throw a punch again when she felt Nicky wrap her arms on her torso. She pushes Piper on the wall. She couldn't fight her, as she felt extremely weak, with the emotional chaos she's been dealing with. Nicky held her both hands pinning it, as they both slides on the side.

"Fucking hell...Chapman enough!"

"Nicky…make it stop. I don't hate her. Please...ask her to come back. Tell Alex to come back." She pleaded desperately, as she sobs.

"Chapman..." Nicky's voice shakes, as she tries to stop her own tears. Piper shed endless tears, longing for Alex.

"I've got a lifetime ahead and she's not here. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"You move forward...You keep the memory of her, tuck in your heart, and at the back of your mind but you need to move forward, no matter how heart breaking it is sometimes...You can't change what's already happened Pipes. I wish you could, but you can't." Polly said, as her tears flow from her eyes. She hugs her so tight hoping to stick the broken pieces of her, together.

"Just get through the day. Put one foot in front of the other. One day at a time." Nicky said consoling her. They seated there silently, only hearing each other's broken hearts, taking comfort on each other.

...

She was back to school months after. But as Piper manage to continue her day, she was also detaching on her feelings. She partied, and partied a lot, for months. She's trying to feel something, trying to fill the void. Polly bit her tongue about Piper's new way of dealing with Alex's loss; instead they just try to accompany her as much as their schedules permit. They agreed to, rotating whoever can accompany her. As Piper gulps more Alcohol, she loses the pain, the torture of waking up without Alex, the feeling of hopelessness. She loses attachment to her feelings, and it felt good...for some time.

On a night out that neither three on her friends are free to accompany her, she manages to lose herself in the alcohol. She was successful, as she couldn't remember anything at that night, or how she was able to reach Alex apartment but she's there, sleeping in her front door. That's how Polly has found her the next morning, after she showed up at Piper's dorm looking for her.

"Pipes...get up. Piper!" Polly shoves her hard, as she wakes her.

"Oh, hey." She said on her hangover state.

"Keys?"

She gave Polly her spare key as she helps Piper on the couch. She went to the fridge to get some ice, luckily there are some, as Piper used it when she spends the night there. She puts it in a cloth and took a glass of water too. She heads back to the living room and find Piper sleeping.

"Wake up! Pipes, wake up!"

"Hmmm." The blonde slowly opens her eyes.

"Hold this to your lip." She gave the cloth to Piper, and helps her drink the water, as the blonde obeys reluctantly.

"You were bruised, you know!"

"Yeah? Well, I can't remember how, so that might be good." She answered, as Piper chuckles on her own joke.

"Pipes…we should talk ab…" Polly speaks but the blonde cuts her off even before she could finish.

"Please…I don't want to talk about it…because I'm going to have to think about it…and then I'll start crying, and if I do…I'm afraid I'll never stop." She said, as she swallows a lump in her throat and leans back at the couch. Polly nods in understanding.

"I am not your mom…but I need to say, this isn't healthy, you know that."

"Give me time…I'm trying to…I really am, but it's still a struggle to wake up every morning, because the first thing I want to see is her face." She said, as she tried hard composing her self.

"I admire you Pipes. You're very strong, and very brave too. It is bravery to face something you know that would kill you every time." Polly said, as she brushes Piper's hair. She catered to her that day, as the blonde slowly recovers.

...

Eight months have passed when Diane called her. She asks Piper if she wanted to keep Alex's apartment to herself. She can no longer pay two apartments, as she doesn't need two anyway. She kept it this long, because she wants to preserve Alex's memory, until she couldn't anymore. Piper thought about it, if she wanted to stay there and give up her dorm. It's full of their memories, Alex and hers. It's killing her. She knows she must let go of something that's hurting her, but it's killing her to let go.

She was with Diane, Nicky and Lorna packing Alex's stuff. Diane will keep most of her stuff, so she lets them take what they want. Piper was absently brushing her fingers on the keyboard of Alex's organ, remembering how she used to play it whenever Piper's around.

"You should keep it." Diane says, as Piper looks at her.

"Oh, ugh...I never really knew how to play." She answered shyly.

"You're heart will learn hon…and besides, I knew Alex would want you to keep it."

"I miss her." She said, as she smiled sadly. She wanted to add more to that statement but she didn't know how, Diane noticed though.

"You always will, dear…until one day, it wouldn't hurt as much as it used to. Your heart has its own way of healing it, take all the time you need." She said, as she hugged her tightly.

The following day was just Nicky and she. They were able to almost finished packing Alex's things but there are some still left to do. Diane said she'd just drop by Nicky's apartment after her shift, to get the things they don't need to keep. They were boxing some books, as Piper would keep the ones she and Alex read together.

"I couldn't believe you guys would hit off before." Nicky said remembering.

"Really? Why?"

"You're from different worlds."

"Ugh, I know. She's a servant, and I'm a royalty. She told me that before." She said, as they both laugh.

"You made her believe on herself Chapman...and in return, she made you happy, truly happy." She said, as Piper smiles.

"I miss her like crazy, it hurts every single day." She said, as she traces her fingers to the concert tickets of Third Eye Blind, tucks in between pages of a book Alex once read to her.

They were able to finish everything early that evening. She asks Nicky to wait for her outside, as she will have to do something for the last time. She looks at the empty apartment silently. Reminiscing her and Alex's days, the living room, where Alex always finds a way to tease her while they're watching something, the kitchen, where she cooks and Piper interrupts. She still sees Alex on that hallway sitting on top of the cabinet. She walks towards the window and opens it. It's a new one, as Nicky called someone to replace it, when she broke it. She stands in front of it, as she speaks.

"Alex, I have to let go. There are so many memories that lingers in here. It's draining my soul…It hurts to be here. I'm not forgetting you...I can't." She said pausing to catch her breath, as she sobs quietly.

"I'm just starting over. I will always love you...You'll always be mine...I'll search for you first, in another life." She cried, as she says goodbye. She felt a breeze touch her face for a moment.

"Chapman...let's go." Nicky called her name softly, as she saw Nicky's teary eyes. She closes the window carefully, as she starts walking away. She glances back, one last time, as she slowly let go of Alex Vause.

...

There isn't a day that goes by where; I don't, at some point, think of you.

It was a Wednesday mid October two years after, when the first sporadic rainfall of the rainy season occurs. She was rushing to get to Nicky and Lorna's apartment as she promised she'd be there. She passed by Black's and heard the acoustics. She stops for a moment, as she remembers Alex that night, years ago. She always does. On random days, she was reminded of Alex's voice when she sings, or her distinct smirk when she's teasing Piper, her emerald orbs, when she gazes at her intently. Her memories linger, although it's fading, she still feels it's there. She closes her eyes for a moment, as her heart remembers her Alex, and as she opens it again, a smile edges on her lips, not quite reaching her eyes.

Lorna gave birth to her and Nicky's first child. Everyone's excited to see them, luckily they get to come home the two days after, as the baby is healthy and Lorna's stable enough to be sent home. Their first visitor is Polly, as she's excited to see the additional member of the Nichols. They were having tea on the living room, and on a middle of a discussion when Piper knocks. She was greeted by Nicky at the door, which she immediately barged, hurrying to get inside.

"Oh, nice to see you too Chapman!"

"Sorry. Hi Nicky!" She said shyly, as she kisses her cheek.

"Go ahead! Living room." The wild haired woman said, as Piper strides towards her friends.

She saw Lorna with their baby, talking to Polly. Polly saw her and called her by the hand, instructing her to hurry. Lorna looks at her direction and smile. She hurriedly walks towards her friends.

"Hi..." Piper said softly caressing the baby's chest.

"Do you want to hold her?" She asks Piper, as the blonde nods. Nicky sanitize her hands first, that earned a snicker from Lorna. She gave the baby to her, as Nicky stands by Lorna's side, while Polly walks towards Piper's.

"Sorry, I missed you on the hospital." She said to Lorna.

"It's fine. I get to come home early, so no big deal."

"She's beautiful, Lorna." She said in awe.

"Of course! We used my eggs, Chapman." Nicky said proudly, as Polly chuckles beside Piper, both of them astonished on the tiny human by Piper's arm.

"What's her name?" She said, eyes not leaving the baby. They were all silently looking at each other.

"Alexandra Elizabeth Nichols, meet your other godmother." Nicky said softly. Piper looks at them both surprised. It's their names. She's Hers, and Alex. Her eyes immediately gather tears at the edge, feeling bittersweet emotions of releasing Alex and receiving another one.

"Hey, Alex." She whispered at her goddaughter, as she kissed her crown. She felt Polly kisses her at the side of her head, as a tear left Piper's eye. Nicky swallowed a lump on her throat, as she stops herself from crying. Piper felt closing a chapter in her life, as another is about to begin. She'll miss Alex constantly, every waking hour. She'll remember her, always. She's not here, but she's with her, everyday.


Thanks for reading guys! And sorry too. Tell me what you think. reviews