A/N: Okay y'all, this is a crazy chapter. It jumps around a lot but hopefully it gets the point across. I'm not back but I felt as if I needed to write and this is what happened. I apologize in advance for the randomness that is to follow.
As always, please review!
WARNING: ALL TRIGGERS APPLY!
Hold On and Let Go
Chapter 7
Beth nervously bounced her knee as she waited in the hall just outside of the lawyer's office.
She had been clean for a while now but if you were simply looking at her, you wouldn't be able to tell that by the way she was acting.
"Ms. Greene," the receptionist called out, "Mrs. Blake will see you now. You can just go on in."
"Thank you," Beth said with a small smile as she stood up and took a few steps to the door. Before reaching for the doorknob, she wiped the palms of her hands on her jeans and took a deep breath.
When she stepped into the office the woman behind the desk gave her a friendly smile.
"Please have a seat Ms. Greene," she said. After Beth had taken her seat, the woman spoke again. "What can I do for you today?"
"Well," Beth began as her nerves really started to mess with her. "You were referred to me by Andrea Harrison. She said you helped her sister with her legal problems."
"Yes, that's correct. I did help Amy. As I'm sure Andrea told you, I handle criminal and domestic cases. Which is yours?"
"Both," Beth answered.
"Okay, can you tell me a little bit about your problems?"
"Yes ma'am..." Beth was cut off by Mrs. Blake.
"Please call me Denise," she said.
Beth nodded but continued on with what she had to say otherwise she knew she would lose her nerve. "It's a little complicated. I..um...I had a baby when I was sixteen, the father was much older than me but we were both on drugs and he quit when I told him I was pregnant. After she was born though, I signed papers givin' him full custody of her and then I went on with my life. I kept using drugs and then something horrible happened. Not long after she was born I was arrested for murdering my brother but since then my life's gone to hell and now that I'm clean and I want to be in my daughter's life, everyone is keepin' her from me. They all say I have no right to see her or anythin' but I want to."
"Okay, let me stop you right there. My first question is, were you under the influence at the time you signed the papers?"
"Yes ma'am. I'm pretty sure I was."
"Okay. My next question, do you remember what the papers said or did anyone explain them to you?"
"I don't remember what all the papers said but I was told that by signing them I was givin' up any rights I may have had to her."
"And you were okay with that?"
"At the time."
Mrs. Blake leaned forward and crossed her arms on her desk. "Well, Ms. Greene, just by hearing what you have to say, I think I may be able to help you. But I still need to ask some more questions. Is that alright?"
Beth nodded and watched as Mrs. Blake took out a legal pad and jotted down a few things then looked back up at her. "Exactly how long ago was this?" She asked.
"Seven years."
"Do you remember who all was there when you signed these papers?"
"Um...my dad and sister were there. Merle and Daryl were there and so was Lori."
"Merle, Daryl and Lori are who exactly?"
"Merle was my boyfriend, the father of my daughter. Daryl is his brother and Lori was a family friend. She's a lawyer."
Mrs. Blake raised her eyebrows. "Did any of them know you were under the influence when you signed the papers?"
Beth nodded. "Yeah, they knew."
"Well, that my dear is basically coercion. You were under duress by being under the influence of drugs so you weren't capable of understanding the full extent of your actions. Because of that, whatever these papers were are now null and void. This Lori you mentioned should know that. What role did she play in all of this?"
Beth shrugged. "She was just kind of there for support, I guess."
Mrs. Blake nodded and wrote down a few things then looked at Beth. "You say you were arrested for murdering your brother, were you ever charged with his murder?"
"No ma'am. I was never actually charged but that didn't keep everyone from talkin' and believing that I did it."
"Well, did you? Did you kill him?"
"I honestly don't know. I remember things about that night and from what I remember, I did. But…."
"I am assuming you were under the influence at the time of your brother's death. Am I correct?"
Beth nodded and looked down. "Yes ma'am."
"I'm aware that you've probably had to tell people on numerous occasions about what happened that night and you may not want to tell it again but if I'm going to help you, I need to know what happened. So, can you tell me as much as you can remember?"
Beth took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves before she began to speak.
"I…I…," she stuttered. "I was with the guy I bought drugs from and Shawn, my brother, came to get me. I remember him tellin' me to get dressed and get my things because he was takin' me home but I kept tellin' him no. I remember there was some shoutin' and then a gunshot and a lot of blood."
Mrs. Blake remained silent for a few minutes while she watched Beth squirm uncomfortably in her seat.
"Look, if you can't or don't want to help me, that's fine but please give me the name of someone who will."
"I didn't say I wouldn't or couldn't help you," Mrs. Blake said as she leaned forward with her elbows on her desk. "I was simply thinking about what you were saying. Do you remember the name of the guy you bought drugs from?"
Beth nodded. "Of course I remember it. We were together for about two years after that."
"What's his name?"
"Caesar Martinez."
Mrs. Blake quickly jotted down the name on a post-it. "Do you know where he lives?"
"No," Beth shook her head. "He just kinda wanders around from place to place. The last time I saw him I was livin' in California. I wasn't with him and I had gotten my life straightened out and then things went to hell. That's when I found out he didn't live but an hour and a half from where I did." She watched Mrs. Blake for a moment before she spoke again. "I'm here about my daughter, not Caesar. Why are you wantin' to know about him?"
"Ms. Greene," she began, "my husband is a private investigator. He works for me as well as Andrea's firm. He's very good at his job and I can assure you that he will be able to find out the truth. That's our first step in this process. We need to clear your name and find out the truth about your brother's death. This has to be done before we can proceed with getting your daughter back because this is the type of thing that the father, the court and the whole legal system will throw at you as a means to keep you away from your daughter. I'm going to do a little research of my own and then give the information to my husband. Once he finds out something, no matter how big or small it is, I'll call you and we can discuss where to go from there. Do you have any questions?"
"I do," Beth said with a slight nod. "I want my daughter. I want to be in her life but I don't want to take her away from her family. I don't want them to keep me from her but I understand that they're just tryin' to protect her. Is there any way we can do this without her bein' taken away from her dad?"
"There is. We can file for joint custody or for some sort of visitation but that all depends on what my husband finds out. As I said, we need to clear your name before we proceed because we don't want them or anyone using this information against you."
Beth and Mrs. Blake said their goodbyes and soon Beth was on her way home.
Merle leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of Annie's head and smiled.
"What ya doin', Princess?" He asked her.
"You cain't see, daddy!" She said as she tried to push him away.
Merle grinned at her efforts and knelt down next to her.
"Why cain't I see it?"
"It's a 'prise, daddy."
"Oh really. Is it fer me?"
She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Yes daddy! It's fer you. Now go away 'til I finish."
Merle grinned and nodded. "Yes ma'am."
He walked away but stood in the doorway and watched as his little girl busied herself with whatever it was she was doing.
"What's she doin'?" Daryl asked, walking up beside his brother.
Merle shrugged and chuckled. "Don't know. She said it was a surprise fer me."
Annie knew her daddy was still watching her but she shrugged it off. She just didn't want him to see his surprise before it was finished but if he did, oh well.
She smiled to herself when she heard her Uncle Daryl talkin' to her daddy. Uncle Daryl knew exactly what she was doin' and when she wanted to give it to her daddy but what Uncle Daryl didn't know was that she was makin' one for him and her mommy too.
"Any idea what she's doin'?" she heard her daddy ask.
Uncle Daryl chuckled. "Yeah. I got an idea but I cain't tell ya."
"Ain't right," Merle said but he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.
"Beth! Where have you been?" Maggie shouted and stormed off the porch as Beth got out of the car.
"I went to Atlanta," Beth said nonchalantly.
"What the hell were you doin' in Atlanta?" Maggie questioned as she followed Beth into the house.
"I went to see a friend of Andrea's."
"Andrea? Amy's sister?"
"Yes, Maggie. Amy's sister."
"Beth, you don't need to be around Amy."
"She's doing better than I am," Beth said as she started up the stairs. "Andrea got her help. She went into a good rehab and she's been clean since."
"You still don't need to be around her," Maggie started but before she could finish, Beth stopped at her bedroom door and turned around to glare at Maggie.
"Why don't I need to be around her?" When Maggie didn't answer, Beth scoffed and shook her head. "You don't want me around her because you think I'll be a bad influence."
"No…."
"Don't even try to act like you're concerned," Beth interrupted her sister. "Y'all won't give me a chance to prove myself but y'all don't understand that that's the kind of shit that makes me want to leave and keep doing what I had been. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Amy is exactly who I need to be around? That maybe she could be a good influence on me or is it just always my fault? I'm always the bad one and everyone's scared I'll mess up other people's lives. I never made Amy do anythin', she did it on her own without me even bein' there."
"That's not what I meant nor is it what I was goin' to say, Beth." Maggie stepped closer to Beth when she finished. "You may be right. She could be a good influence on you but she could also be a bad one. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but none of this is about Amy. I really don't give a damn about her. She's not my baby sister, you are. You're the one I don't want to see get hurt or get into any kind of trouble."
"I know," Beth sighed, "but if you had let me finish instead of jumpin' to conclusions you would know that it's not what you think. I didn't see Amy. Well, I mean I did see her but it was only to get Andrea's number. I called Andrea to see if she knew anyone who could help and she did. She gave me the number to a lawyer in Atlanta who had helped her with Amy. I made an appointment and that's where I was today. Like it or not, I'm not goin' to sit by and let my whole damn family see my daughter but tell me I'm not allowed to see her."
Maggie smiled and hugged Beth tightly.
"What was that for?" Beth asked when Maggie pulled away.
"It was for showin' me that I was right. You do want Annie and you love her. The Beth you were before the drugs is starting to make a comeback."
She rolled her eyes at her sister's comment and stepped into her room. She had the overwhelming feeling that everyone was keeping something from her and she couldn't help but think they all hated her and that's why they were doing it. She couldn't very well blame her dad or Maggie for hating her. After all, she was to blame for Shawn's death even if she didn't pull the trigger. It was still her fault and nothing would convince them it wasn't. And then there was Merle and Daryl. She knew Merle hated her for leaving him and their little girl. That was one of the things she saw in his eyes at Annie's birthday party. The other had her wishing she were dead. He didn't just hate her, he still loved her and it wasn't wishful thinking on her part. He had the same look in his eyes that he'd had the first time he told her he loved her. Only now, that love was mixed with hate.
No wonder he didn't want her around Annie. She realized he didn't want her to hurt their baby the way she had hurt him and then the tears started falling.
"I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself, not even bothering to wipe away her tears as she curled up on her bed.
Every little thing was getting to her and even if she didn't want anyone to see how much she was hurting or how angry she really was, she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it all in.
"Phillip?" Mrs. Blake called out as she entered their home.
"We're in here, mommy!" Their daughter, Penny, answered from the playroom.
Mrs. Blake smiled and leaned against the door frame as she watched her daughter and husband playing with play-doh.
"Did y'all have fun today?" She asked them as Phillip stood up and made his way over to her.
"We had a fun today but your daughter dragged me to see some princess movie," Phillip said with a smile then leaned in and kissed his wife. "How was your day, Denise?"
Denise groaned but kept a smile on her face. "Remind me again why I went into law?"
"Because you're a good person and you love to help people," he answered.
"I do love helping people but sometimes things are so complicated that I don't think I'll be able to help them."
Phillip and Denise both looked at their daughter.
"Is this about a new case?" Phillip asked.
"Yes and I'm going to need your help on it," she said.
He kissed her cheek then said, "You know I'll help you as much as I can. What's the case about?"
She shook her head. "We're not discussing this in front of Penny, Phillip, but my notes and the file are on the desk in your office. Take a look at them while I get dinner ready and we'll discuss it after Penny goes to bed."
Phillip nodded as Denise kissed his cheek and told their daughter to come help her with dinner.
When he reached his office and sat down at his desk, he took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for whatever it was he was about to read. He knew that if it had his wife upset, it was going to be a tough case.
After dinner, Phillip returned to his office. He didn't take a good look at the file before, he just glanced over them and made a few notes of his own. But now that Denise was upstairs tucking in Penny for the night, he had time to spread the papers out on his desk and really dig into the case.
"Hmm," he hummed to himself as he read over the police report Denise had obtained from her connections at the police department in Tallahassee.
The first thing that jumped out at him was the name and age of his wife's client who was the only suspect the Tallahassee Police Department had.
"This is a tough one, isn't it?" Denise said from the doorway.
Phillip nodded. "I'm not even through your notes and the police report and I can already see that there may be no way to help this girl. She was only sixteen when she had her baby and when she was accused of killing her brother. What other information were you able to get out of her?"
"Well," she said, moving to sit in a chair across from her husband, "she said she didn't remember much about the night that happened."
"Do you believe her?"
"Yes. I believe her but that's why I need your help on this. She didn't come to me to try to clear her name, she came to me for help because she wants to see her daughter but no court will grant her any kind of visitation as long as she is deemed a threat to her child. Between the murder accusations and her history of drug abuse, I don't know that there is a way to help her but I'm damn sure going to try."
"That's one of the things I love about you," Phillip said with a smile. "I'll finish looking over the files and first thing in the morning I want you to set up a meeting between me and Ms. Greene. I trust your judgement but I want to be able to look her in the eyes and see for myself if she's lying or not."
"I'll call her as soon as I get to the office. Do you want to meet her there or at your office?"
"Which ever would work for her but if you're going to take her case you will need to be there. I don't want this coming back to bite either one of us in the ass."
Beth woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes but she didn't get out of bed. She was hungry but she figured she'd just lay there until she knew her daddy and sister would be gone and then she would gone down and eat.
Just as she closed her eyes, her phone started buzzing on the pillow next to her.
She groaned and reached for it and without opening her eyes, she answered.
"Hello?" she mumbled.
"This is Alyssa at Denise Blake's office. I'm calling for Elizabeth Greene," the voice on the other end spoke.
"This is she," Beth replied.
"Oh good. Mrs. Blake wants to know if it would be possible for you to come in to the office today. She would like to go over a few things with you."
"Yeah. I can come in. What time does she want me there?"
"Whatever time is convenient for you but the sooner the better."
Beth sighed and sat up in bed. "Alright. I'll be there as soon as I can."
After ending the call with Mrs. Blake's office, Beth quickly took a shower and dressed, the whole time trying to think of an excuse as to why she was leaving and where she was going, then made her way downstairs.
"Mommy!"
Beth froze at the front door and slowly turned around to see Annie sitting in the living room floor.
"I's wonderin' when you'd be up," Merle said as he walked in to the living room followed by Maggie and Hershel.
"What are y'all doin' here?" Beth asked after a moment of staring at Merle.
"You said you wanted ta see 'er an' get ta know 'er so I asked 'er what she wanted. She said she wanted ta see you but only if you wanted to see her. That's the only damn reason we're here."
"Bethie, did you hear Merle?" Hershel asked when his daughter didn't respond.
"Yeah, I heard him but I….there's….there's somewhere I need to be right now."
"Elizabeth," Hershel called out sternly. "You wanted to see Annie. She's here so you need to spend time with her."
"Daddy…," Beth began.
"Naw. I knew this shit was gon' happen. That's why I didn't want ya 'round," Merle interrupted her. "If ya got somewhere better ta be then ya best get goin' but keep in mind this was yer last chance at see that lil' girl."
"No, Merle. Please just stay. You don't understand, none of you do! Y'all want me to straighten out, to prove to y'all that I've changed and that's what I'm tryin' to do. Please don't take her away."
"Where do you need to be?" Hershel asked.
"I…um…I had an appointment in Atlanta but I'll…I'll call and reschedule it," she stuttered.
"Hurry up then 'cause we ain't waitin' all day," Merle said as he took a seat on the couch.
She nodded and step out onto the porch. With shaking hands she too her phone out of her back pocket and called Mrs. Blake's office.
"You've reached the law office of Denise Blake. This is Alyssa speaking. How may I help you?"
"This is Elizabeth Greene, I talked to you earlier about coming in today to see Mrs. Blake. Is there any way I can talk to her right now because I won't be able to come in today?"
"Yes ma'am. I'll let Mrs. Blake know you're on the line."
Just as she was put on hold, Maggie stepped out onto the porch with her and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched her sister pacing.
"Who are you on the phone with?" she asked her little sister.
"I'm calling Mrs. Blake, that lawyer in Atlanta, but I'm on hold right now."
Maggie nodded and leaned against the railing, continuing to watch Beth.
"Ms. Greene?" Denise spoke, slightly startling Beth. "My secretary said you wanted to talk because you wouldn't be able to come in today. May I ask why you can't come in?"
Beth looked up at her sister nervously then turned away from her as she spoke. "I…my daughter is here. Her dad is here too and he's saying that he's going to let us spend time together and I don't want to miss out on that."
Mrs. Blake was silent for a moment before speaking. "Ms. Greene, as a mother, I understand you wanting and needing to see her but as your lawyer, I advise you not to. There's a lot of different things that could go wrong and I don't want anything to jeopardize your case…."
"No offense, Mrs. Blake," Beth interrupted, "but you don't understand. I've been wanting to see her and I'm finally getting a chance to do that."
The other woman sighed, "Beth, if you take this opportunity to see her, make sure that it is supervised. I know that may not be ideal but there needs to be someone there so her father can't try to accuse you of anything. Is there anyone who can be there with you?"
"Yes ma'am. My sister and dad are here. I doubt they'll leave me alone with her anyway."
"Okay. Be careful about what you say and do. We don't need to give him any more reasons to keep her from you. I'll call you back later and see if we can reschedule, alright?"
"That sounds good," Beth replied before ending the call and turning back to Maggie.
"That was a short call," Maggie said as Beth opened the front door. "What did she say?"
Beth didn't have time to respond when she stepped inside and Annie ran up to her, wrapping her arms around her mommy's legs.
"I'm sorry, mommy. I don't want ya ta go away," she said with a pout as she looked up at Beth, still keeping her arms around her legs.
"Don't worry about that, baby. You have nothin' to be sorry about but I do," Beth said while trying to keep from crying, which was something she had found herself doing a lot of lately.
Merle watched the exchange between Beth and Annie all the while praying to God that this would be good for everyone involved and that Beth wouldn't hurt Annie by leaving again. That was what he was praying for the most. His little girl meant the world to him and was the only person, other than Daryl, that he cared about and who loved him.
"Daddy," Annie's sweet voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Can you come outside an' play with me an' mommy?"
He glanced up at Beth then back to Annie and nodded his head yes. After all, he never could tell her no.
Beth walked behind Merle as they followed Annie out of the house. It wasn't because she was scared or didn't want to be there, it was because she was happy and a little excited but she didn't want to get too involved in her daughter's life.
She snorted at that thought, causing Merle to turn his head to look at her.
"Tha hell was that for?"
"Nothin'. Just thinkin' is all," she said with a shake of her head.
Merle stopped walking and narrowed his eyes at her. "If ya think this is funny an' it's some kinda game to you, ya best tell me now."
"Merle, I swear this isn't a game. I just….what changed your mind about lettin' me see her?"
"Daryl. He told me wasn't none of this 'bout me or you. It's 'bout Annie an' he was right 'bout that. She wants ta see ya an' I ain't gonna keep 'er away but one fuck up from you an' you won't ever see 'er again. Ya got that?"
She nodded her head in response.
When Merle walked away to join Annie at the tire swing, Beth turned to look at the house. She sighed in relief when she saw Maggie standing there watching them.
This wasn't going to be easy at all.
"What did you find out?" Denise asked.
"A whole lot of nothing," Phillip replied, keeping his eyes focused on the papers in front him. "Why did she cancel on you?"
"She said she was getting to see her daughter. I advised her against it but I can't keep her away from her."
"Do you think the father knows she hired you?"
"No, I don't think he knows yet. I'm sure if he did I would have already heard from his lawyer."
"Speaking of his lawyer, did Ms. Greene say anything to you about a Lori Grimes?"
"Yeah, she said Lori was there when she signed the papers to terminate her parental rights. Why?"
Phillip leaned back in his chair, "Her name doesn't sound familiar to you at all?"
"No, it doesn't. Should it?"
"It should. You and Andrea are close and you being Amy's lawyer, I figured she would have told you about her. It seems Amy got pregnant a couple of years ago and signed her rights away to the kid. Lori was the father's attorney."
"And you told me you found a whole lot of nothing," Denise smirked.
"It's the truth. I didn't find out anything useful on your client. Other than her drug abuse and murder accusations, she's stayed out of trouble. She even went back to school and got her GED and was taking classes at a community college in California."
"So," Denise let out a deep breath, "when do you want to meet her?"
"How does tomorrow sound?"
"Sounds good but I'll call her and make sure she knows we're coming."
"No, don't call her. If we show up unexpectedly, maybe I can get a better read on her."
Annie sat in her seat in her daddy's truck, watching her mommy and daddy. Her daddy looked sad, like he had all day. She didn't want to see her daddy sad like he had been but she really wanted to spend time with her mommy.
She couldn't help but think of how wrong her Uncle Daryl may have been when he told her nothing would keep her daddy from loving her. What if she was like her mommy?
"What's wrong, baby girl?" her daddy asked her as he started the truck.
"Do you still love me daddy?"
"'Course I do, baby. Ain't nothin' gon' change that. Why would ya think I don't love ya?"
She shrugged. "I don't wanna be like mommy, daddy. I don't want ya ta be sad."
"Ya ain't nothin' like yer mama, ya hear me? I'm always gon' love ya no matter what."
Merle's heart broke. This whole fucked up situation was causing more trouble and pain than it was worth.
