Dojima managed to put his clothes back into reasonable order without really consciously intending to, all the while shaking his head in refusal and muttering under his breath fragmented assurances that none of this was real. It simply had to be a dream, despite the throbbing ache and the doubt that attested otherwise. He hesitantly reached out and brushed his fingertips over Souji's shoulder, but the boy flinched away. At that moment something reared up in the pit of his stomach and he felt sour bile tear a path halfway up his throat. He swallowed it back and sat up, hand firmly pressed against his revolting belly. "This…it's is just a nightmare. I could never…"

"Shut it." Shadow Dojima grimaced. "I don't wanna hear those half-assed self-righteous lectures of yours anymore. It's pathetic. You can and you did. Own up to it." He stood up and sauntered toward the bathroom, disappearing inside for a moment. When he returned he wore only his belted slacks, a bottle in his hand and a cigarette burning between his lips.

The Shadow came and knelt beside Dojima, who was still shaking his head and staring into some other invisible dimension. Exhaling a thin stream of smoke, the Shadow placed the cigarette against Dojima's trembling lips, which instinctively took the offering. The bottle was then settled into Dojima's limp hand as it rested against the floor.

"Drink up," the Shadow advised.

Dojima looked down at the bottle for a long moment before pulling the cigarette from his mouth with his free hand. He listened to the sound of Souji's hitched breathing. The sound of the Junes kid's idiotic murmuring. The sound of his own weak heart pumping blood through his body. Oblivion smiled seductively at him in his mind's eye and he felt sick all over again. Slowly, his grip on the glass tightened.

With a strong sweep of the arm, he flung the bottle across the room. The sound of shattering glass broke the tense atmosphere, and both Yosuke and Shadow Dojima turned to look wide-eyed at the mess of liquor and bubbles cascading down the wall. Dojima stood too fast and swayed a bit, but his hand swiftly and steadily yanked his pistol free from his holster. Without warning, he turned and fired. The crack of the explosion practically rattled the walls and the Shadow's head snapped back.

For a long moment Dojima stood and breathed heavily, his arms still poised with his gun pointed at his double. The latter still stood, legs spaced widely apart to balance his body, with his head and shoulders slumped back. Dark, viscous blood drizzled like a black waterfall from the Shadow's head to the floor below. A strained chuckle tightened Dojima's finger on the trigger.

The Shadow's head snapped forward in an arc and landed with his chin resting against his chest. He rolled his head to the side and lifted it to look directly at Dojima. A dark hole dripped thinly from the center of the Shadow's forehead.

"Nice shot," the Shadow taunted and smiled. "But it's not enough." He began to walk toward Dojima.

Lowering his aim, Dojima fired again. The shot ripped a hole into the Shadow's chest and made him stagger. The Shadow recovered quickly, however, and that dark fluid trickled from still-smiling lips.

Yosuke left off tending to Souji for the moment in favor of the violence before him. He had wriggled his jeans back on, trying hard to ignore the pain that came with his actions. Retrieving his blades, he entreated Dojima.

"Dojima-san, please listen carefully. You can't defeat it like this."

"I won't let this…thing…get away with what it's done," Dojima proclaimed, more to himself than to Yosuke.

The Shadow lashed out so swiftly that Dojima didn't see the action coming. That hand gripped his throat and squeezed hard, surprising Dojima enough to drop his pistol. The Shadow's other hand quickly followed and Dojima grasped his Shadow's wrists in an attempt to pull them away. But the hands holding his throat, wringing the very breath out of him, were too strong for him to overcome. The Shadow pushed him backward until the back of Dojima's head collided hard with the wall. White stars flitted in his field of vision.

Shadow Dojima's face twisted in black amusement. "I know it felt good to finally do that, but the kid's right."

"Dojima-san."

Both Yosuke and the addressed were surprised by the weak voice that suddenly spoke. Souji had sat up, tears still staining his cheeks. His weary eyes were fixed on the floor as he softly continued. "It's okay. We all have a side like this."

Dojima closed his eyes, both out of pain and the onset of resignation. The Shadow's grip loosened slightly.

"Please…you have to accept it," Souji murmured. "For yourself, and for your daughter."

Souji's tone of voice and the thought of Nanako left alone cut straight into his heart. It was all too reprehensible, but he knew what he had to do now. Denial could no longer hold him afloat. For now, he would just have to give in.

As if sensing Dojima's growing resolve, the Shadow released his grip on the man's neck. Dojima slumped to the floor and coughed.

"I tried to repress it. I tried damn hard. But I could never just erase it, even knowing how sickening it was. Those feelings. They ate me alive sometimes." Dojima shut his eyes and turned his head away. "But I swear on my life I never wanted to hurt you, Souji."

Dojima looked back up at his Shadow. "Yes. You were a part of me, even if I hated it," he said softly, his bruised throat straining.

The Shadow gazed thoughtfully at his original.

"All this time I just…didn't know how to deal with it."

The Shadow nodded slowly and wavered. "Now, you understand." With an almost sad smile the Shadow dissolved and vanished, leaving only the fog in his wake.

Souji shifted and began to pull on his pants with obvious agony. Yosuke moved to help him and Souji did not bother to deny the assistance, as degrading as it was.

"Can you stand?" Yosuke asked once the last button was secured.

Souji nodded and lifted himself from the floor. Pain sluiced through his muscles, but he fought to ignore it. Yosuke was right; there were more pressing matters to attend to. He could never allow his friends to consider him a leader if he couldn't even make it through this. The people he cared about depended on him now more than ever.

Souji approached Dojima and offered out his hand. "Let's go home."

Dojima looked at the turned up hand and then at Souji's face. Though the boy appeared calm, he recognized immediately the despair and disappointment behind those eyes. He reached out and grasped that hand, but pulled his own weight up without the aid. Embracing Souji hard as soon as he stood, Dojima let out a choked sound.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Souji, somewhat surprised, listened absently to the mantra and allowed his arms to return the embrace, though it was an empty reaction in truth. He didn't know what to think. No, he simply couldn't think about what had happened right now. All he wanted was to get the hell out of that place.

Yosuke was apparently of the same mind. He pulled one of Dojima's arms free and guided his own arm through it for support. Souji mirrored the action and took his katana from Yosuke when his friend handed it to him. Together they managed to escape from the long dark hall with Dojima, who unresistingly allowed them their assistance. Muted pleas for forgiveness occasionally tumbled past his lips as they went.

As they came to the portal leading out, Yosuke looked to Souji as Dojima continued his oblivious rambling. Silver hair fell in an absolute mess about Souji's head and managed to obscure his eyes. But from the way the corner of his mouth dipped, Yosuke could tell Souji was repressing the urge to break down. It hurt to see his friend that way, knowing he could do nothing at the moment to help. He wanted desperately to do what Dojima had done—embrace Souji and mutter mindless apologies. He felt partially responsible for had happened. If only he hadn't passed out at that crucial moment. If only he hadn't been so damn weak, he could have somehow stopped it.

"Yosuke."

Yosuke blinked when he heard Souji address him, though the boy hadn't looked up. "Yeah?"

"I still mean what I said before. No one can know."

Yosuke bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah…"

"Come on."

They exited the doorway and found themselves on the outer landing of the manor-like house. The red lamps above were no longer illuminated and everything lay in still darkness. Teddie suddenly rushed out from a clump of shrubs nearby.

"What took you guys so long?" he practically screamed. "I was getting so worried and—" Teddie cut himself off when he saw the state of his friends. He stopped and stared for a moment. "Sensei? W-what's wrong? And Yosuke. Your face is all bloody." After eyeing the both of them, he studied Dojima.

"We're okay, Ted," Yosuke lied. "But we need to get him out of here ASAP."

"Something bad happened, didn't it? Just like I thought? I sensed something."

"We'll talk about it later," Yosuke replied and noted Teddie's doubt. "Promise."

Teddie nodded. "Fine. But I'm still worried, you know." He began to lead them back toward the starting point. No one said a word the entire way.


Outside Junes, the air was cool and refreshing. They had received a few curious stares from the few remaining evening shoppers as the peculiar foursome made its way through the department store, but not one of them seemed to care. Yosuke had his cell ringing a taxi company the second their feet hit the sidewalk pavement.

"They'll be here in five," he confirmed as he shut his phone. Looking around, he closed the distance between himself and Souji. Leaning in close, he talked softly. "Do you want us to tag along? Just to be safe?"

Souji shook his head. "It's okay now. I can manage." He turned to look Yosuke in the eyes for the first time since they were in that compromising position in the strange room. "I'll see you tomorrow."

There was some hidden meaning enmeshed within that simple statement, or at least Yosuke thought he heard it. "You're sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Yosuke." Souji's eyes were averted again.

Though he felt a bit reluctant leaving Souji alone, Yosuke knew he wouldn't be able to sway his friend's opinion. And honestly, there was a part of him deep inside that had wanted to escape anyway. All this play at normalcy was beginning to fray his nerves. He nodded and agreed they'd see each other at school first thing in the morning before walking away with Teddie in tow. Unable to resist, he turned to look back when the cab drove past him and watched Souji help Dojima into the car.

"Hey, Yosuke," Teddie said.

"What?"

"It's just that, well, I know you were lying to me. I'm not mad or anything. I just don't like being kept in the dark, especially when you're hurt."

Yosuke reached up and brushed a hand over his mouth, feeling the swollen gash on his upper lip and the crust of dried blood on his cheek. "Heh. I guess you can be pretty perceptive sometimes, Ted." He attempted to lighten the mood, but Teddie wasn't buying into it. Yosuke slumped his shoulders as he walked. "I must look like a wreck right now."

"Yeah. You do."

"Sorry. I know it's not fair to you. But for now, as a favor to Souji and me, can we just leave it alone?"

"Okay. For you guys."

The two continued along the dusk-laden streets, each in his own dark world of contemplation.


Souji was thankful he had enough money in his wallet from his part-time job to cover the cab fare once the vehicle pulled up to the Dojima residence. He told the driver to forget his change and slammed the car door shut. Hurrying to Dojima's side, he unlocked the front door and slid it open. Nanako practically materialized from the wall she was there to confront them so quickly.

The state of them stayed her lecture, however. Her eyes went wide. "Dad? Big Bro? What happened?"

Souji forced a smile. It almost hurt. "Hey, Nana-chan. Sorry I forgot to call. I ran into your dad outside the bar and we kinda…took a spill in the flood plain walking home." Souji shrugged but didn't feel very relieved when Dojima said nothing. He wasn't sure Nanako would buy it.

From the look on her face it appeared she was in fact dubious, but she didn't retort. "I'll go make up his futon," she stated dully and ran upstairs.

Souji kicked off his shoes and Dojima managed to mindlessly do the same. Once unshod, the man broke free of his nephew and wandered off toward the stairway.

"Dojima-san…um, are you going to be okay?" Souji called after him.

"Please, just leave me alone. I can't bear to look at you right now..."

Souji watched as his uncle disappeared around the corner, the man's heavy footsteps slowly ascending the stairs. After a moment he heard Nanako's upset voice say something and Dojima's door shut soon after. Her barely audible steps flew across the hall and down the stairs before she stood expectantly in front of Souji.

"Big Bro, what's wrong with Dad? He doesn't even smell like sake tonight."

"He's just tired, Nanako. Sometimes they work him too hard at the station and he hasn't been feeling well lately. You understand, right?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

Souji hugged her and kissed the crown of her head. "Sorry we worried you. It won't happen again." He could feel her melting under his embrace and was relieved for it. "Come on, it's bedtime."

After seeing her to her room for the night, Souji hauled his heavy body up the stairs toward the bathroom. Shutting the door quietly, he turned the lock and rested his back and head against the door. After a few deep breaths he moved to turn on the hot water tap and allowed the bathtub to gradually fill. His muscles protested as he slowly twisted his limbs out of his clothing. As he tossed the soiled articles to the floor, his naked flesh shivered with the slight chill hanging in the room. He studied his reflection in the mirror.

His hair was a tangled mess. His eyes were bloodshot and tired and even a trace amount of Yosuke's blood still clung to the underside of his nose. No wonder Nanako was worried. He sighed and shut his eyes, nausea suddenly rolling through his stomach. Before he had a chance to quell it, his mouth watered uncontrollably and his body seemed to move on instinct toward the toilet. He had just barely managed to lift the lid in time when a series of dry heaves wracked his entire body. Saliva dripped from his mouth to the water below. Even though nothing was coming up—he hadn't realized until then that he had eaten nothing at all that day—he could not stop his heaving. The effort alone was enough to make him hurt even more.

With a decent amount of willpower, he managed to loosen the fist squeezing his stomach and released his death grip on the porcelain. He staggered to a stand and found the tub was nearly full now. Turning off the tap, he lowered a foot into the water, hands bracing his weight against the wall, and cringed at the near-scalding temperature. He brought his other leg into the water and began to lower himself in anyway. As his skin flushed, his nerves cried out in protest and Souji's tears began anew. It might have been the water burning his skin. It may have been the looming task of coming to terms with the fact that his body had been ravaged by someone he trusted that now faced him. They came all the same without prejudice.

Reaching his arm into the water between his legs, Souji rubbed at the mess still clinging to him. Faint pinkish-red clouds swirled to the surface of the water, dissolving away soon after. He watched it, almost entranced, and the minute he let his mind go the night's scene replayed for him again. He remembered the violent way he came, an experience that paled everything he had successfully wrung from his body when he masturbated. The fact that it had felt so good was beyond any imaginable humiliation. And Yosuke had gone through it as well. Though he knew it wasn't necessarily Dojima's fault, it was still rape.

Dojima. Did he really think of Souji that way? He couldn't believe this had been going on under his nose and he never even caught so much as a hint. He felt so stupid. Souji's temples began to throb painfully with the thought. Leaning forward, he rested his head in his hands and covered his stinging eyes from the light, trying to choke back his tears.