A/N: I seriously debated whether or not to put this chapter up because it seems like the interest in this story is falling. If you guys want me to continue, please let me know.
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Tis the Season for Confessions
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"So, what do you want to do today?" Craig asks brightly the next morning. We've been up for about an hour, eating Coco Puffs and watching Bugs Bunny elude Elmer Fudd for the millionth time. I look out the window. Snow was still coming down pretty steadily, if lightly.
"How about nothing."
"Oh come on El, we have the entire weekend with nothing to do." he says.
"Craig, in case you hadn't noticed, it's snowing outside. I'd rather just stay in."
"It's not like you're gonna melt." he teases, then laughs when I scowled at him. "Please? I need help picking out presents."
"Presents? I hate Christmas shopping." I whine.
"Even if I promise to buy you all the coffee and big cookies you can handle?"
Okay, that's low. But effective. I'm beaten and I know it. So I agree and head off to the shower. When I come back Craig is standing in front of my closet, shaking his head.
"What?"
"Do you ever think that maybe you wear too much black?" he asks, eyeing me head to toe. I feel the blush creeping up my face as he takes in my black shirt and jeans so dark they may as well be black. And we both know the belt, shoes, and jewelry are going to be the same hue.
"Like you should talk." I retort. Craig took a shower earlier and is now wearing a black Beattles tee and black Converse sneakers along with his ever present black leather jacket.
"Fair enough." he says as he flops onto my bed while I dry my hair and put my make up on. He just ... sits there watching me. And it's really unnerving me. There's something about him seeing me getting ready. It's almost ... intimate in a way. "Stop watching me freak. It's creeping me out." The tone of my voice is harsher than I intended it to be and I notice Craig frowning in the mirror.
"Scuse me." he mutters.
"Ah, didn't mean to hurt your poor little feelings. I know how sensitive musicians can be."
He glares at me before sticking his lower lip out in a pout and I know he's not really mad.
"So," I say as he continues to lay sprawled out on my bed, "are we going or what?"
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I hate the mall. It just ... cheery. All these kids hyped up on sugar and these girls wearing next to nothing while they try to pretend they're not there to attract all the loser guys trying to act all cool. It's like high school times fifty with lots and lots of candy.
Craig knows this. Yet, he still insisted we come here when there are many nice, quiet, and music free stores downtown. He says he can't find the doll Angie wants anywhere else. He's only been in town for two days! When did he even look? Do I sound angry? Maybe just a little seeig as some Britney wannabe just spilled her extra foam mocha diet whatever all over me and them claimed it was my fault! If Craig hadn't been there to sweet talk her, I might have been forced to pull a Paige/Manny smackdown right here in Toys'RUs.
"I think it's time we got you home." Craig said, steering me toward the exit.
Thank God. I'm not sure how much more holiday cheer I can stomach. I may punch the next Santa I see.
"Well, looks like I got everything." Craig says, peering through his bags. "Joey, Diane, Angie, Marco, Jimmy... "
"Manny?" I supply. Ew, why did I say that? Now I'm gonna actually have to help him pick out something for her.
"Right." Craig said, like he didn't actually forget. What's that about?
We're walking by this little vendor cart that sells stuffed animals and knick knacks and he just grabs this snowglobe off it. "Here we go."
"Sure you don't want to think about it a little more?" I ask sarcastically. I may not like Manny, but no girl deserves to have her boyfriend give her some random gift he just happened to see.
"What?" He sounds genuinely confused. Looking down at the trinket in his hand, his brow creases in worry. I study it and realize, it's actually kind of perfect for her. All pink and sparkly and full of teddy bears and a castle on the inside. Thought or no, Manny would love it.
"Nothing." I say. "I'm sure she'll love it."
He grins and pays for it and that's when it hits me. Craig didn't have to go on this long, drawn out search for the perfect present because he knows Manny well enough to just catch a glimpse of somehing and know she would like it. And this is the moment I know, my chance with Craig is never gonna happen.
I can feel the tears about to errupt, and I hate crying so much, so I turn away and pretend to be absorbed in some palmestry book on the shelf while Craig pays for his perfect present.
"Ready? he asks.
"Um, sure." I put the book back hastily, averting his gaze. But it doesn't work and he's holding my chin up to face him.
"Ellie, what's wrong?" The real concern is more than I can take and I either have to admit it, or cover it up. I shake my head, having dcided to cover it up. Was there ever any doubt?
"Nothing, just that stupid book." I gesture to the palmestry guide and laugh. "Apparently I'm supposed to be a suburban soccer mom in a pink house." I tell him. "Can you imagine anything more horrible?"
"Maybe one or two things." he says, obviously not buying my story for a second. "I know what this is about."
My head snaps up. "You do?"
"Yeah, and don't worry," he puts and arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him as we hed again for the exit, "I already have your present safely tucked away. Like I'd ever forget you El."
There's no way to dsecribe just how much that hurts so I do the only thing I can do. I cover up my aching heart with the false bravado that's gotten me through many a Craig-induced mope fest.
"Like there was ever a worry about that. You know I'm the most unforgetable person in your life."
"Too true." he says with a dramatic sigh reminescient of Marco and I shove him playfully. He pulls me back to my previous location at his side, my arm slipping around his waist naturally.
This is so wrong. How right it feels. So very wrong. Craig's not free and neither am I, no matter how much my heart is telling me otherwise. A thought I'm acutely aware of every time I think of him or hear his name. One that I'm reminded of yet again as we round the corner and face the last two people I want to see right now.
Manny. And Sean.
"Craig!" Manny says in disbelief. Her eyes narrow into slits as she takes in my presence and Craig's and my arms around one another. "What are you doing here?"
"Uh, shopping?" he tries, holding up his bags in a lame attempt to prove his story.
"I meant in Toronto. Why didn't you tell me you were in town?" she accuses angrily. The real quesetion is glaringly obvious as she continues to stare daggers at me; What is Craig doing with me?
While my arm has returned to its rightful place by my side, Craig's remains perched across my shoulders and as Manny continues her death stare, I twitch my shoulders in effort to get him to move it. A catfight with an anonymous high school hoochie is one thing, but to fight with one I actually know is totally different.
Craig seems to notice Sean for the first time. I almost feel sorry for him, he looks completely lost as he gazes between Manny and Craig. He's clutching a bag from a jewelry store in his hand and I feel my day plummet further. He's shopping for Emma. Great. Just what I need, another reminder of how easily the guys I like move on to other girls.
"Sean, hey man. I heard you were back in town." Craig's arm finally drops as he shakes Sean's hand.
"Yeah," Sean says uncertainly. "Just doing some shopping."
"Craig, can I talk to you a minute?" Manny all but demands.
He shrugs, offering an apologetic look back at me, before they head off to the little alcove by the pop machines. Instantly, Manny begins her tirade, hands flailing and face contorted in rage.
"So ..." Sean says. I had almost forgotten he was here.
"How are you?" I ask. "I heard through Jimmy that you got into some trouble a while back. You okay?"
No, I'm not totally heartless. It's true that I would love for Emma to dump him and give him the poetic justice he deserves, but I did love the guy once. I still care if he's in trouble.
"Yeah, I'm good. Everything kinda worked itself out." he says.
"I'm gald. How's Emma?"
He swallows. "She's fine. Listen Ellie," he starts but I cut him off.
"It's okay Sean. It really is. You love her. There's no need to explain. Or to apologize. I'm not angry anymore."
"Really?" he asks dubiously. Honestly, you'd think he'd trust me after everything we went through.
"I was for a while. But I got over it." I assure him.
"I can see that." He remarks, tossing a look over at Craig and Manny and their little drama-rama.
"What Craig? No, we're just friends." I explain hastily.
"Then why is Manny so upset?"
I can't answer that. And he knows it. Judging by the sympathetic look in his blue eyes he knows it all too well.
Just then Manny stalks by, grabbing Sean by the hand and tugging him away.
Craig looks totally dejected when he comes back. I'll bet good money that it was nasty. We are talking about Manny Santos after all.
"You look like you just got hit by a truck."
"Manny just dumped me." he says with absolutely no emotion. Could he be in shock?
"For not telling her you're in town? Why didn't you use some of that famous Manning charm and convince her that you wanted it to be a surprise?"
Craig sinks down onto a nearby bench and looks up at me sadly. "I didn't want to lie to her."
Okay. Not expecting a confession like that. I sit beside him, trying to think of a way to comfort him when he speaks again.
"She didn't like the fact that I was with you." he whispers.
Now I'm really not liking where this is going.
"Manny's terrified of you." He says like it's so bizzare and out there he just can't seem to wrap his head around it.
"Me?" I ask suspiciously. "Why would she ever be afraid of me? W're just friends, it's not like I'm planning to jump you anytime soon."
He smiles at that and mission accomplished. Craig's allright, so the world's right again.
"I have a confession to make." I lean over and whisper conspiratorally. "I hate malls."
"This is something I already knew Miss Nash." he replies.
"So how about we head out? Bad Thai take-out on me."
"Sounds like a plan." He gathers up his stuff and we leave, all thoughts of Manny and confessions and the now useless snowglobe forgotten. We'll deal with them later. Like we do everything.
But you want to know the real confession? We never do. We just say that so we don't have to face anything. Our shrinks would be so proud.
