Title: Can My Life Get Any Weirder! 7/?

Author: David A. Knapton

E-mail: Gilmoreslash and Twisting the Hellmouth. Others, if you want but it is polite to let the author know you are doing so

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to the owners of BtVS and Gilmore Girls.

Spoiler: Both shows up to and including season five of Buffy and four of GG.

Rating: 12A/PG-13

Pairing: Canon pairings for both shows except Joyce/Lorelai, and Buffy with Riley (at least at the beginning).

Summery: Meeting the family.

Notes: The fight described in this part is from Into the Woods but some dialogue has been changed to fit the storyline.

Thanks so much to my great beta Tamara.

'' Thought.

Feedback: If you wish.

Please note I am English, so is my spelling. Live with it.

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"They're here," exclaimed Joyce looking out the living room window wringing her hands.

"Just breathe hon. we can do this. Just remember Buffy loves you," Lorelai reminded her wife as she hugged and kissed the side of her neck.

"I don't know if I can do this Lorelai?" whimpered Joyce as she watched her daughter jump out of Xander's car and begin heading towards the door.

Lorelai stepped away from the other woman as the door opened, "Mum," called Buffy striding into the room. When her mother failed to respond, she stepped forward giving the strange woman a hard stare before turning back to her mother, "Mum, are you okay? You haven't got a headache have you?" she asked worry in her voice.

"N-no dear, no headache," Joyce smiled weakly.

"So what's wrong?" Buffy asked as the others began filing in.

"I need to explain some things to you and now you're here I don't know if I can?"

"Why don't we start with introductions," suggested Giles.

"Yes, Rupert," Joyce nodded her thanks. "Lorelai, this is my daughter, Buffy and her friends. Her boyfriend Riley," she indicated the tall man next to her daughter.

"A pleasure to meet you ma'am," greeted Riley extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Riley, and please call me Lorelai," smiled Lorelai shaking his hand.

"And this is Willow and Tara. They go to UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Willow, Tara, this is Lorelai."

Lorelai beamed at the redhead, "Joyce tells me you babble," she chuckled.

"I've been know to. Usually when I'm nervous or excited, Lorelai," smirked Willow beginning to like the brunette.

"Well maybe we can babble together later," smiled Lorelai. "Pleased to meet you Tara," she said offering her hand to the blonde.

"And-and you," replied Tara.

"And finally this is Xander and his fiancée Anya," gestured Joyce.

"Nice to meet you Lorelai," greeted Xander stepping forward.

"And nice to meet you too, Xander," Lorelai shook his hand and looked to Anya. "Congratulations on your engagement. Joyce and I talked about it on the way here and decided to pay for you to have the honeymoon suite at my Inn back in Connecticut for a week as a wedding present from both of us."

"Oh, so I was right, you are a lesbian couple just like Willow and Tara," nodded Anya a smug grin on her face as she accepted Lorelai's hand. "I can't think why any woman would give up a penis for a tongue and fingers. Unless of course you plan on using one of the many artificial penises on the market, I know several web sites that have inexpensive..."

"Anya baby, please stop now," cried Xander pulling his girlfriend away from Lorelai.

"I really must introduce you to my friend, Patty, when you come to Stars Hollow," laughed Lorelai.

"Mum, what's going on?" asked Buffy looking at her mother's blushing face. "I notice that you're not trying to deny being... like Willow and Tara."

"No dear," replied Joyce barely above a whisper not meeting her daughter's eyes.

"What the hell have you done to my mother," growled Buffy taking a step towards Lorelai, her fists clenched. The brunette took a step back at the look on the blonde's face.

"Buffy," shouted Giles sternly.

"What?" the Slayer turned on her Watcher. "This woman has obviously taken control of mum somehow."

"Buffy," sighed Giles stepping towards the blonde. "Lorelai has done nothing to force your mother into this situation. As hard as it may be for you to accept, your mother is in love with her of her own freewill. Now let's all sit down and allow them to tell us what they plan for their future. Calmly. As your mother's doctors told you both, she should not become stressed as she is still recovering from her operation."

Pouting and dropping onto the couch, her arms crossed, she stared up at her mother and Lorelai. "Well?" she asked tightly.

"Well dear," began Joyce, "Even though we only met a couple of days ago, and I know it sounds impossible, I love Lorelai deeper than I have loved anyone before. Lorelai feels the same, that's why... we got married."

"What?" shouted Buffy jumping up again. "You do know that she's a woman, right?"

"Buffy, gay marriage is legal in Massachusetts," explained Willow. She took Tara's hand, "Tar and I have talked about possibly going there to get married ourselves after college."

"Yeah but you're different, you're my best friend, mum is... my mum," lamely replied Buffy.

"Honey, you need to get past the idea that I've never had sex, it's rather childish," sighed Joyce.

"But you're my mum, you're too old to have sex," stammered Buffy pouting.

"Buffy dear, I had sex last night, just after our telephone conversation, and I fully expect to have sex tonight."

"Mum, stop talking about sex, you're wigging me out," cried Buffy.

Joyce gave her daughter an amused smile, "You brought it into the conversation," she pointed out. For some reason her daughter's frustrations was making it easier to talk. "Now I'll be honest with you. We both woke up in bed together yesterday morning with no memory of the previous evening or of getting married. We even talked about getting our marriage annulled but because of something that happened later, which to save your feelings Buffy, I won't go into detail about, but just to say that we realised we enjoyed each others company and want to make a go of our marriage."

"So where do you plan to live?" asked Willow.

"Well," edged Joyce, "Lorelai has only just fulfilled her dream of opening her own Inn and would be letting a lot of people down if she were to up and leave. So... I suggested that I move to Stars Hollow and open a gallery there."

"So you're leaving me just like dad," cried Buffy jumping up and running for the door.

"Buffy," yelled Joyce as the door slammed shut behind her daughter.

"Riley, Willow, Xander go after her, see if you can talk her into returning?" sighed Giles.

"On it," nodded Xander as he hurried out after the Slayer with the others.

Giles looked sadly at the quietly crying Joyce enveloped in Lorelai's arms. He glanced over at the equally sad Tara, "Maybe you could fix everyone some drinks?" he asked.

Tara just nodded and headed for the kitchen with Anya following, the former vengeance demon realising that Giles wished to be alone with the two older women.

Giles squatted down in front of Joyce and Lorelai after the brunette had guided the blonde to the empty couch. "Joyce, I'm so sorry things did not go as you hoped, but Buffy just needs time to come to terms with your relationship with Lorelai. I didn't know that Buffy still held such deep-seated resentment at what she sees as her father's abandonment of her when you came here. That abandonment has caused her to become very possessive of those she loves. I think the only thing you and Lorelai can do is show her that you really do love each other and that you will always be there for her. And you Lorelai, just be yourself so she can see you have no intention of hurting her mother. May I further suggest that you hold off on selling the house as long as you can and now that college is finished for the summer you take her with you to Stars Hollow to help facilitate your eventual move there?"

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Buffy glanced around having no idea how she found herself in an alley between two warehouses, it was now dark, which meant she had been wandering in a daze for several hours. As she passed by a stack of pipes, two vampires stepped out from behind her and closed the distance between them.

The Slayer turned to confront them, "The pyro act on my place the other night was a bad idea Slayer," snarled the male. "Lost a lot of money."

"Felt good to me. Would have done it before if I'd known about your little money scheme earlier."

"You don't get it do you. By closing us down, we'll just have to find humans that don't pay for it. Every corpse is on your head," sneered the male vampire. "Unfortunately your not gonna be around, in fact you're not gonna make it through the night."

At his final words, six other vampires moved to surround the Slayer. Who just glanced at them before turning back to the leader, "Walk away," she said between clenched teeth. The leader took two steps towards her. "I'm serious. You don't what to do this. Not now."

The leader lunged at her. Buffy's hands shot out and he went flying backwards into the pipes. She back-fisted the vampire that came from her right and followed that with a kick to the face of one coming from the left. She turned quickly and hit one of those behind her with a right cross. As she turned back, she saw a vampire pick up a length of wood and attempt to swing it at her but she grabbed it with one hand and hit him in the face with the other forcing him to release it. Sensing the one coming up from behind, she rammed the end of the impromptu stake into its heart then turned back to club another to the ground. Clubbing a second one, she quickly reversed her actions to stake a second and clubbed yet a third.

As three other vampires came at her from the sides and rear, she expertly dusted them all. By now, the leader had regained his footing and dived at her but the Slayer thrust the end of the wood upwards turning him into dust on the wind. As the final female vampire moved towards her, Buffy placed the impromptu stake between them. The Slayer could see fear in its eyes. Although its features were distorted, it reminded her of the woman that had taken her mother from her, without further hesitation, she thrust the stake into its heart.

She remained staring at the swirling dust before the stake fell from her hand and she dropped to her knees crying next to it.

"So, how'd that work out for ya?" asked Xander stepping into the alley behind the Slayer. Buffy rose slowly and turned to stare at Xander. "Make you feel better? Wonder what Freud would say about that last vamp?" he smirked having noticed a passing resemblance to Lorelai.

"What are you doing here?" asked Buffy.

"Giles sent Riley, Willow and me to find you, figured we'd stand a better chance of finding you if we split up. I thought you might be ready to talk. Then I saw the skirmish happen. I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones."

"Go away, Xander," snapped Buffy angrily. She turned and started to stride away.

"Buffy," called Xander beginning to follow.

Buffy turned back, "I'm serious!"

"So am I. Something's up. You're acting like a crazy person. And not just 'cause your mum's found someone."

Buffy turned and began walking away again without replying. Xander followed closely behind. Buffy pushed aside a large metal door and entered one of the warehouses.

Xander entered behind her and closed the door. "Take this for instance. You don't wanna deal with your mum and Lorelai, so you hide? It's not very slayer-like," he pointed out.

"Just leave me alone, Xander. It's not just my mum and... and her situation! You have no idea what's going on."

"No?" snapped Xander. "Good, so besides your mum wanting to leave, you and Riley aren't on your way to imploding?" Buffy turned to him surprise on her face. "It doesn't take a genius. You expect everyone to leave you, your dad, and your friends back in LA, Angel... Faith." The Slayer's eyes widened. "Yeah I figured that out sometime ago," he gave her a crooked smile. "And now you figure your mum's abandoning you as well... Riley will probably follow soon after."

"Did he tell you he got a call from some super secret Initiative type unit, they want him back. Who told you about me and... Faith?"

"Nobody told me anything, Buffy. It was right in front of my Xander face. I doubt you told anyone. I know girls tell each other about their boyfriends and... girlfriends but I figure if you told anyone it would be Will and as she basically hates Faith with a vengeance to rival my hatred of Deadboy, no way would she have been able to keep quiet," he chuckled.

"It ended the night I put her in a coma and chose Angel over her," sighed Buffy looking into space.

"Why don't you go visit her in prison? Not to get back with her, 'cause hey she's in prison for life, but maybe you could make your peace with her?" asked Xander gently as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Since when have you been the level headed one?" smirked Buffy. "Do I need to remind you of Cordelia, Miss French i.e. Preying Mantis woman and what you had Amy do to every female in Sunnydale including my mother?"

"Okay, okay. So I haven't always been the level headed one. And hey totally not fair bringing Miss French into it, I still maintain it was those pheromone things," smirked Xander. He sobered, "The thing is Buffy, none of us ever leave, even Cordy would be here if we needed her. We may change, grow, get married whatever, but we love each other, we will always be there for the others, we've been through too much together not to be. Your mum will be there for you as well. Besides, have you considered she'll be safer away from the Hellmouth? We can get Will to checkout the place she wants to move to, make sure it's a safe place, if not we can at least worn her so she's prepared."

"Okay, I'll think it over," Buffy nodded as they made their way out of the alley. "So how often did Faith and I feature in your fantasies?"

"Two or three times a night," smiled Xander. "My favourite involved you both with a couple of stakes. You're both laid on my bed in tight leather, when I walk in. You both look at me like you wanna eat me and begin crawling..."

"La, la, la, I'm not listening, la, la, la," cried Buffy putting her hands over her ears as they headed towards her house.

"So. Do you think you and Riley can get over this army thing?"

"Honestly," sighed Buffy becoming serious again, "I don't think so. His ego can't take the fact that he'll never be as strong or as fast as I am. I see it in his eyes sometimes, the resentment," she clarified. "And he knows that if he stays we'll drift apart or one of us will get killed. And long distant relationships never work for me."