Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, or "The Scientist" by Coldplay.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Friday, January 6th, 1967
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Perfect. Just damn perfect.
Anna slowed her steps, wondering why it was that whenever she was having a bad day, Steve Randle had to go and make it worse just by existing. That might have been a bit dramatic; it wasn't as though she wanted him dead, but shoot, she didn't want to see him, either. Especially when she was already on edge.
Three of her fingertips were still stinging after accidentally burning them in Home Ec; Ricky had seemed to decide that finding Anna and Anita together at lunchtime was the perfect opportunity to get in a few more nasty comments about the both of them; Henry had told her that he wouldn't be at Buck's that night because of some work he had to do with Tim and the gang; and to begin the fantastic day she'd had, she and Danny had fought about Grandpa Joe again that morning, resulting in her being late to class and earning a detention that afternoon.
A detention she was heading toward when she noticed three people coming down the hall toward her. She sighed; goddamn her bad luck. Looking wildly around the near empty hallway, she wished for way out. Unfortunately, just as she spotted the girl's bathroom, one of the boys in front of her looked ready to break into a song and dance as he caught sight of her.
"Anna! Lovely to see you this fine afternoon."
She closed her eyes briefly, silently cursing Two-Bit. Opening them again, she continued walking and met him, Steve, and Ponyboy in the hallway.
"Where ya headin'?" Two-Bit asked.
"Um, detention."
She tried hard not to look at Steve, she really did. But even as she answered Two-Bit, her gaze slid toward him. He was staring right at her, small smirk on his lips, and watching her in a way that made it impossible for her to hold his stare. She'd managed to successfully avoid him for three days now, only seeing him in study hall. She didn't want to deal with him and what he'd said.
"Detention, huh?" Two-Bit scratched his head. "Well shoot, if I'd known you had detention I woulda found a way to join ya."
She couldn't help but grin at that. "I thought you had a million detentions after that fight in the hall a few weeks back?"
"Finished yesterday."
"Right." She stared at the floor. "Well, I really oughtta get goin'."
"Stay a while," Two-Bit said. "Miss Taylor's doin' detentions this week, and she won't care if you turn up late."
Well, that might have been true, but she needed to leave. She could feel Steve's gaze burning into her and she couldn't stand it.
She had gone over nearly every word he had said to her on Tuesday, trying to decide just how serious he had been, and she still wasn't sure. Everything about him had seemed so sincere, but admitting his feelings the way he had was so unlike him. Why would he say it if it wasn't true? Why would it be true? Her thoughts had been going back and forward like that constantly.
One thing she had refused to do, though, was consider just what it meant if he really was jealous. In fact, she had unsuccessfully tried to block out every word he'd said after admitting he was jealous, because she couldn't think about that without feeling a little sick. Christ, she couldn't believe the things he'd said.
She frowned, looking at Two-Bit. "I should really -"
"Hey, what's this?" As much as she wanted to leave, Two-Bit seemed to decide that was the perfect time to steal her notebook … and it really shouldn't have surprised her.
"Two-Bit. Give that back."
He held it over his head as she tried to grab it, and grinned. "I don't think so."
She rolled her eyes at him and the chuckles coming from both Steve and Ponyboy. "C'mon, Two-Bit. We ain't in kindergarten no more."
"That's true." He nodded, lowering his arm. "I s'pose if we were all in kindergarten, you and Stevie would still be kissin' next to the sandpit."
An involuntary glance at Steve showed he was still smirking at her, obviously amused by Two-Bit's words, and the heat of his gaze and Two-Bit's talk of kissing made her far too warm. She looked away, blushing.
"Seriously," she said. "I need that book."
"You do, huh?" He flipped through the pages. "Math! Wow, how about that?" He looked at her, eyebrow cocked. "How is your math goin' these days? Ya know, without havin' a tutor to help you out?"
"It's goin' just fine, but I have homework and need my notebook."
"Oh …" He slowly circled her, and she followed, glad to have Steve out of her line of vision. "Does that mean a game of keep-away is out of the question?"
Despite his constant easy grin, Anna knew he wasn't kidding. He and his buddies would throw her book to each other over her head all damn night if they felt like it.
"Don't you dare."
"Don't what? Throw the book to Pony?" His grin widened, and he raised an eyebrow. "How about Stevie?"
Of course. This wasn't Two-Bit picking on her for the sake of picking on her. This was Two-Bit picking on her so she couldn't leave and had to stay around Steve for longer. All it did was frustrate her and make her think about things she didn't want to think about.
"C'mon, Two-Bit. Give me my book."
He shook his head. "I don't think so."
Then he did exactly what she had been dreading, and threw her book to Ponyboy. Anna sighed, turning to look at Pony. She hardly knew the kid, but she was pretty sure he didn't like her much, and that it was just because she had dated Steve, who he didn't get along with. He held the book in his hands, staring at it as though wondering what to do with it.
"Pony …"
He looked at her, glanced behind her, then finally shrugged and handed the book to Steve. Her heart thudded and she wanted to cry. She didn't want to do this yet. It might have just been trying to get a book back from him, but she didn't want to talk to him yet. Not after everything he'd said …
What she wanted was to hate him. His words hadn't changed that desperate need, but they sure hadn't helped, either.
Slowly, she looked up at him, meeting his gaze. He stared right back for a long moment, as though waiting for her to say something, and it wasn't until she was about ready to do so that he finally looked away. He stared at the book, flipping it over in his hands. A few seconds later, he spoke.
"I hear Tim's got his boys out workin' tonight."
She nodded, though he wasn't looking at her. "Yeah."
He said nothing and held the book out to her. Hand shaking, she reached for it. He wouldn't let go, and she looked up into his eyes. "You'll be at Buck's tonight?"
She nodded again. Buck was having a party that night, and despite having work in the morning, she, Kathy, Anita, and Linda Jones had decided to go.
Steve smirked. "See ya there." He finally let go of the book and walked past her.
Taking a shuddering breath, she held the book to her chest. She needed to not think about him - about what he'd said. Refusing to glance behind her, she hurried the rest of the way to detention.
XXXXX
It was still confusing the hell out of him, but Millie had been on Steve's mind more and more the last few days. He wanted to believe it was because - for some completely fucked up reason - he'd gone and told Anna he was jealous. There wasn't much to do or say or think about her now, and the ball was in her court. That wasn't it, though. Fact was, he was just curious. Curious about Millie and the kid. It was a whole new situation for him.
There wasn't anything he could do about it, even if he knew what he wanted to do. She didn't want to see him - hell, she didn't even want him to know about the kid. And sometimes, he wished he didn't. The idea of having a brother or sister was too huge for him to really comprehend.
A part of him did wish Anna had just kept the whole thing to herself, but at the same time, he wanted to know more. He wasn't sure what else there was to know, but he didn't feel good about knowing Millie was pregnant and not doing anything about it.
He sighed; too damn confusing.
Kicking at a stone on the footpath he was walking, his mind went to the party at Buck's that night. It was still a few hours away, but he was heading to Soda's, and Two-Bit was going to pick them up in an hour or so. They'd all head to Buck's, where Anna would be without Henry fucking Phillips. He couldn't help but be thankful for his good luck.
Why he'd admitted anything to her on Tuesday was a complete fucking mystery to him. She hadn't given him any indication of any of her feelings, but he'd spilled his guts anyway. He'd given it a lot of thought since, and a part of him was sure Anna still wanted him - at least in some way. That girl had been crazy for him, and he knew there were still some feelings there. She wouldn't have opened up to him if there weren't, and things wouldn't be so damn intense between them.
But not for the first time, he might just be getting ahead of himself. He knew there was a reason Anna had once called him a cocky bastard. Though he couldn't help but think it did him well. A little cockiness and honesty on Tuesday, and his words had definitely made an impression on her. Maybe. Fuck it, he didn't care if they had or not. If he wanted her back, then he was going to have to do whatever it took to get her.
Turning the corner, he immediately spotted Two-Bit's old car parked up ahead. It was another few seconds before he noticed his buddy laying slumped against the side of the car, in obvious pain.
"Fuck." He quickened his pace, dropping to his knees next to Two-Bit once he reached him. "Two-Bit? Hey, buddy. Wake up, man."
He was awake, but barely. Steve shook his arm with one hand while the other lifted his face to get a better look. He hissed in a breath at the damage, remembering when Johnny had been hurt. It wasn't that bad, but he didn't think he'd ever seen Two-Bit this hurt before.
"Two-Bit?" He shook him again. "C'mon, man."
"Stevie?" His eyes opened blearily.
Steve let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "What the hell happened?"
Two-Bit groaned as Steve helped him to his feet. "River Kings."
"Where're your keys?"
"Dunno. They threw them somewhere."
Steve sighed. They were only a couple of minutes from Soda's, but Two-Bit could barely stand by himself. Throwing one of Two-Bit's arms over his shoulder, and his own arm around Two-Bit's waist, he led them down the road. He'd go looking for Two-Bit's keys later.
"Came outta nowhere, man," Two-Bit said. "It wasn't even fuckin' dark and they start this shit."
"What'd they do?"
"Rammed into the back of my car." Two-Bit sighed, carrying a bit more of his own weight. "I know I should've just kept drivin', but I think I'm a little soused. Didn't even think about ignoring them."
Steve just nodded; it had never been uncommon for Two-Bit to start drinking early on a Friday.
"They were on me as soon as I got outta the car. There were only three of them, but they got me pretty quick … threw away my keys and beat the shit outta me." Two-Bit shook his head. "The one day I don't bother carryin' a blade."
"Anything broken?" Steve asked, realising he probably should've asked sooner.
Two-Bit laughed. "Just my pride, buddy."
XXXXX
Sneaking outside seemed like the best idea. Anna felt terrible for Kathy, who was trying to quietly break up with Two-Bit in a corner - though Anna couldn't even figure out why Two-Bit was at Buck's when he was hurt the way he was - and surprised by Soda, who had been flirting with Anita all night.
Pushing her windblown hair out of her face, she immediately turned around the side of the building and leaned against it. The memory of kissing Steve in that exact spot coursed through her, and she tried to ignore it the way she had been ignoring Steve all night. After the day she'd had, she decided being dramatic and calling it a miracle he hadn't seen her slip outside was okay.
He was confusing her and she didn't like it. Nor did she like the fact that his words had been ringing in her ears all afternoon. Not his promise of seeing her that night, or his claim of jealousy, but the words she'd been avoiding for days now.
You know things ain't over between us - never have been.
And glory, he was right.
She had tried to kid herself that all there was left between the two of them was anger, hurt, and a history. That was all bull, though, and she knew it. It didn't matter what had happened in the past, there was definitely still something there. She felt it, constantly. She couldn't help but think that her refusal to think about those words had just been her putting off the inevitable. Things had never been over between her and Steve, and she had a feeling she'd always known it.
It didn't matter, though. He might have left her alone for months, just like she wanted him to. He might have broken up with Evie, just to keep what had happened between them the night Dally and Johnny died private. He might want to fix the mistake he'd made by getting back together with Evie in the first place. But none of it mattered. He'd still cheated, he'd still gotten back together with Evie, and he'd still said horrible things to her last week.
And, she was dating Henry. They'd only been dating this last week, but they had been out a few times and she was definitely dating Henry - who she'd barely thought about all night. That was Steve's fault. Steve and his stupid words of being jealous and wanting to fix his mistake and things not being over between them …
She sighed. She had a feeling she would never feel right about Steve again. She wasn't sure what right was - she knew she wanted right to be indifferent, but she didn't think it would happen. The way he looked at her, staring at her so intently … it wasn't supposed to be that way. They had broken up and she was supposed to hate him.
She didn't hate him. In fact, her anger was fading more and more everyday. Especially since slapping him last week. But the worst part of it all was that there was still a part of her that wanted him, and despite dating Henry, that part didn't seem to be getting any smaller.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she pushed away all thoughts of Steve. What she really wanted was to go home, but for now, had to be content with being out of Buck's.
"Hey." Steve's voice floated toward her, and she slowly opened her eyes.
She didn't greet him in turn, but didn't tell him to get lost either. She should have, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she just watched him. He started toward her, away from the noise in the parking lot, and just as she had many times before, she forced herself not to run.
"Whaddya doin' out here?"
She shrugged. "Nothing."
"Ain't you cold?"
"No."
They were silent, and Anna realised it wasn't uncomfortable that she felt around Steve. It should have been; after everything that had happened, uncomfortable sure seemed like the right thing to be feeling. Instead it was just tense and hard and unfair.
"How's things with Phillips?" he asked.
"Things with Henry are just fine."
Steve scowled, but said nothing else. After a few moments, Anna spoke up.
"Have you thought much about Millie?" She told herself she was asking because she was curious, not because she cared.
He shrugged. "What's to think about. She didn't want me to know."
"But you do know. You could go see her if you wanted."
He seemed to actually consider her words. "I guess."
More silence fell again, and Steve continued to watch her. Blushing, Anna looked away, those damn memories of him and Buck's and kissing were spreading like wildfire over her skin. After taking a few breaths, she looked at him, only then realising how close he was standing. He was right in front of her, only inches between them, and her heart thudded. He shouldn't have this kind of affect on her.
"I've missed you," he said, voice so much huskier than she liked.
Her eyes widened. That wasn't Steve. Just like when he had confessed to being jealous, he was coming out with all these words that sounded like feelings … without someone else doing it first. She looked into his eyes, and there was no mistaking the way he was looking at her. Her heart melted. She had tried so hard to forget about him …
Forgetting was hard when she couldn't stop loving him.
"You've missed me?" Her own voice was soft, confused. She hated herself for wanting it to be true.
Steve lifted his hand, catching a piece of her hair between his fingers. Her breath hitched. She should push him away, tell him to get lost, give into her urge to run. How the hell did he do this to her?
She kept her gaze on him, letting his closeness intoxicate her and letting him charm her with a simple touch. He'd always been able to do that to her, and months of not being together hadn't changed it. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes when he dropped her hair and lightly ran his fingers over her cheek.
"Yeah, I've missed you," he said again, a whisper from right in front of her. She could feel his warm breath on her cool skin, and involuntarily shivered. "And I'm gonna get you back."
Her eyes fluttered open. He was smirking at her. Not a nasty smirk, but a soft, possibly cocky smirk. She tried to glare, but all she could do was watch him lean forward. He was going to get her back … he wanted her back?
He was still leaning closer, and she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to. His fingertips felt rough but gentle against her skin, and she took a shaky breath. He was going to kiss her, she knew it. What was completely messed up about it, was that she was going to let him.
Bustling laughter floated toward them and Anna pulled away. She blinked, coming to her senses and feeling a fresh wave of self-hate flow over her. She couldn't let him do this to her. He had hurt her too damn much.
"I have to go," she said, not looking at him.
She slid away from him, and pushed past Two-Bit and Soda, who had interrupted them.
Two-Bit laughed as she walked away. "Sorry, buddy. And with the way Anna's been gettin' around lately, you probably would've gotten lucky had we not turned up."
She turned, just in time to see Steve throw a punch into Two-Bit's unbruised cheek.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
A/N: Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. This will be my last update until the new year - Good Fic Day - so I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!
