Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. It belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino, etc, etc. I just enjoy playing in her world and I make no profit from this.

A/N: I'm aware that my Paris had been a little meek so far in the story. It's my interpretation of who I think Paris really is, underneath all of her bluster. I wanted her to be more open with Rory, which is why she has shown her more insecure side so far. However, in this chapter, she gets to be a little bit more like the Paris of the show. I hope you all enjoy.

POV: Paris.

Gilmore Girls

Eternal Flame

Chapter Seven

As Saturday night came closer and closer, I grew more and more nervous. I busied myself in college work during the day, and tossed and turned during the night. Rory was a godsend. Whenever I was feeling scared or anxious, she always seemed to know, and never failed to offer me some words of comfort, maybe even a little hand squeeze. I was beginning to cherish those little touches and every now and then I even let myself believe they actually meant something more.

Rory had to leave for Hartford on Friday for one of her weekly dinners, so I spent the night and early Saturday morning alone. The night was spent in much thought. I started to really consider the ramifications of Saturday night. If everything worked out, I might just end up finding someone special. Of course, that was the most optimistic outcome. It could just as easily turn out to be a complete failure (and yeah, you should know me by now, obviously I thought that was the more realistic result).

But I allowed myself to be optimistic for a moment, and considered the idea of having a girlfriend that was not Rory. I knew that pragmatically, I had to move on. Rory and I were never going to happen. But would it really be fair to that potential girlfriend of my future, if I were to date her when I wasn't over Rory?

When I might never even get over Rory?

Certainly, I thought the entire concept of getting over Rory to be ridiculously impossible. I would always love her, so how could I get over her?

My thoughts went around and around like this all night, until in the end I gave it up. I didn't know what the right thing to do was. I just knew that I would never get Rory. And I didn't want to be alone. I was sick of being alone. So I would do it. I would go to the club and I would try my best to find a girl who would take me - unrequited baggage and all.

I was about to go to sleep when I had a sudden inspiration. Rory wouldn't be home tonight. She would be spending the night in Stars Hollow with her mother. So that meant…

I looked over at her messy, unmade bed, which was full of that wonderful Rory smell. I couldn't help myself. I climbed in between her sheets and pulled them snug around me, burying my head in her pillow and inhaling her magnificent scent. I smiled with satisfaction and, surrounded by Rory's essence, I had the best nights sleep of my life.

Rory got back in the afternoon. We went out for something to eat and then returned to our room to get ready for the night. She had a shower first and while I waited, I fretted over what to wear. When she emerged from the bathroom I went to take a thorough shower myself, washing ever inch of my body several times. She was dry and already half-dressed when I re-entered the room.

I sat on the end of my bed and quickly dried my hair, still puzzling over my wardrobe. Once that was done, I committed myself to finding something to wear, but after several minutes staring at my clothes, everything still looked hideous to me. I had nothing to wear.

Luckily for me, Rory came with the save. She expertly picked out a suitable outfit and then shooed me into the bathroom to change. I wasn't sure about it myself, but I trusted her judgement. She told me I looked great and I finally allowed myself to believe her. I knew Rory would never outright lie to me, so I had to look at least marginally decent.

While she did my make-up, I questioned her about the phone call she had received while I was getting changed. When she told me it was a guy, I experienced the tiny pang of heartbreak I felt every time Rory talked about guys. It was something I had to come to accept as commonplace now, so I didn't let it bother me. I casually asked her if she was dating him and when she confirmed that she was, it was hard for me to hide my disappointment. I quickly asked what he was like to try and cover up my feelings, but that proved to be even harder when she told me a little more about him. He sounded like a jackass and I really didn't want my Rory dating a jackass. Okay, let's face it, I didn't want Rory dating anyone who wasn't me, but seeing as that's an impossibility, I'd at least like her to be dating someone I approved off. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's probably another impossibility right there. I would instinctually dislike anyone who was dating Rory just on that principle.

Then the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable when Jess came up. Rory was dismissive and said she didn't want to talk about him. I assured her that if she wanted to, she could tell me. It wasn't exactly something I really wanted to talk about. I was pretty sure the entire conversation, if it did occur, would be extremely painful for me. However, I was dedicated to being the best friend I could to Rory, and friends should always be there for each other, no matter what.

After that, she deftly finished my hair and we were ready to go. I very nearly had a nervous breakdown driving to the club. I kept myself from going over the deep end by playing with my blouse and twiddling my fingers together. I tried very hard not to think about what I was about to do.

We arrived at the club and after getting myself together; Rory led me into the building. I wasn't paying attention to anything at all. I was just trying to keep myself together as we crossed the parking lot and entered the club. It was dark inside, so it took a while for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I couldn't believe what I saw. It was a lot more crowded than I thought it would be.

I felt my hands start to shake as I stood there, so I clasped them firmly together in front of me. My eyes continued to range the room. Let me explain. I wasn't good with crowds at all. I needed to feel safe inside my own personal bubble, and I never could when I was around a large crowd. So now, confronted with the reality, I felt a typical Paris panic attack coming on.

Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of Rory and the entire club, I dashed as quickly as I could right across the room and into the bathroom at the far side. I barely made it into the nearest stall before I was emptying the contents of my stomach. After a few moments, I felt Rory's hands pulling my hair out of harms way. I was pitifully grateful, despite feeling completely humiliated.

She didn't say a word, just knelt there and held my hair as I vomited into the toilet. I was done pretty quickly, but I stayed there for a while longer just to make sure. Finally, Rory asked me if I was done and I told her I thought so. She continued to reassure me and then told me that we could go if I wanted to. I did and I didn't. I was terrified of going back out there, but at the same time I didn't want to waste all of this effort. In the end, I decided that all this wasn't going to be for nothing, and then asked Rory to hand me my bag. Glad that I had thought ahead and planned for just such an occurrence, I quickly brushed my teeth to get rid of the sick taste in my mouth and then followed Rory back out into the club.

She ordered us our drinks and we sat on stools at the bar and looked out on the dance floor. After a few minutes sitting there, Rory pointed out that we might get confused as a couple. I blushed at the sudden image in my head (Rory and I engaged in a passionate kiss at the bar) and mumbled in agreement. She offered to go sit somewhere else and despite my nervous misgivings, I gave my consent and she left with a promise to keep an eye on me in case I needed saving.

I don't know how I managed to keep myself from having another panic attack as I sat at the bar and took tiny sips of orange juice. Without Rory's soothing presence at my side I felt even more exposed and vulnerable.

After what felt like an eternity, I noticed a gorgeous scarlet haired woman watching me from a nearby table. She smiled at me and got up. I had to really concentrate hard on not throwing up again when she started to approach me.

I lowered my eyes a little and glanced at her through my eyelashes. She was graceful and confident as she walked towards me. I looked her up and down, making note of her impressive, breathtaking thighs and (yes, I'm a pervert) her amazing cleavage. She wore a hot little red dress that fell far short of her knees and really helped exaggerate her extraordinary chest.

'Hi,' she said boldly.

'Uh, hi,' I mumbled, extremely embarrassed. I lowered my eyes even further and felt my cheeks heat up.

My scarlet haired seductress used a well-manicured finger to tip my face back up to meet hers and I felt my blush intensify.

'You having a good time?' she asked me, taking Rory's seat.

'I guess,' I said, words failing me.

She laughed lightly. 'You guess? You're not sure?'

Her laugh pierced right through my embarrassment and I felt my defences spring up in retaliation. 'I'm sure,' I said, coldly, looking away.

I was screaming inside my head, telling myself not to do this again, but her laugh had awoken the old Paris - the Paris who couldn't stand being mocked.

'Oh,' she said, hesitantly, confused. She paused momentarily and I took another sip of my orange juice. 'Sorry, did I do something to offend you?' she finally managed to ask.

There was another pause as I warred with myself. Finally, I managed to grate out a, 'no.'

She sighed. 'Okay, I can tell you aren't interested.'

Panicking, I quickly blurted out, 'wait.' She stopped and stared at me expectantly and I struggled to find the words. 'I didn't mean to be so blunt… or dismissive. I'm… new to this…'

'I see,' she said slowly. Then she stood up and offered me her hand. 'Would you like to dance?'

I took another swallow as I built up the courage to take her hand. Then that was done, and I hesitantly stretched my hand out and placed it in hers. The feeling of her hand in mine was fantastic as she led me onto the dance floor. She pulled me close and I took a deep breath to get past my instinctive need to pull away.

'I'm Alison,' she said, smiling down at me, her blue eyes conveying nothing but warmth.

'Paris,' I said.

'That's a wonderful name,' she observed kindly.

'Thank you.'

'You don't say much, do you?' She was teasing me.

Even so, I still struggled not to revert to form. I shook my head, not trusting my voice at the moment. I might say something I would later regret.

She laughed lightly. 'You can relax,' she said, moving her hands a little along my back. 'I don't bite. At least not without permission.'

I smiled at her joke. 'That's good to know.'

'You've never been to a club like this, have you?'

'Never,' I said, staring at my feet as we moved on the dance floor.

'It's not that bad,' she said. 'Everyone here is really nice. And very understanding. Believe me. We don't judge here, so you don't need to be so shy.'

'I'm not shy,' I argued, my voice taking on a hard edge. I took a moment to gain a little composure and then started talking. 'You're right; I've never done this kind of thing before. Not just here. Ever. I've spent my entire life trying to get into a good college and now that I've succeeded, I thought it was about time I took some me time.'

'That's understandable,' Alison replied, and then asked, 'which college?'

'Yale.'

'That's a great college.'

'I know,' I said proudly. 'What about you? Do you go to school?'

'Actually,' she said, 'I'm a writer. At least I want to be. I work part-time at a nursery.'

'What do you write?'

'Romance mostly,' she replied, 'though I like to add a little mystery to spice things up. I've never had anything published, but I'm working on it.'

'I read a lot,' I told her. 'A lot of the classics, but some new stuff as well. I've read the Iliad a thousand times.'

She laughed. 'I can never get through it,' she said. 'I'm never happy with the translations, so I always give up about half way through. I plan to see the movie though. Diane Kruger is gorgeous.' She gave me a sly wink and I smiled at her.

'I don't know who that is,' I admitted.

'She's playing Helen,' Alison informed me. 'I'm an avid moviegoer, so I like to know who is playing who.'

'Have you seen Mulholland Drive?' I asked.

'Of course,' she said. 'One of the most incomprehensible movies ever made.'

'I love it.'

'I bet you do,' she said teasingly, grinning.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I asked, furrowing my brow in bewilderment.

'You know,' she said slyly, 'a certain lesbian sex scene.'

'Oh,' I sounded, finally getting it, and blushing bright red, 'no, that's not it.'

'Yes it is,' she teased.

'No,' I said, forcefully, fighting through my embarrassment, 'I really do love the film. It's a really brutal look on how love and obsession can twist a person into something horrible.'

'Sounds depressing,' Alison commented.

'I thought you had seen it?' I asked, puzzled again.

'Oh, I have,' she replied. 'I just meant – your take on it.'

'What do you think it's about?'

'I don't think it's about anything,' she said. 'I think its David Lynch being a smart ass. The whole movie is whatever you want it to be, because it's not about anything. That's what I think.'

'So you don't have an opinion?'

'I've never been able to come up with a satisfying answer,' she finally admitted.

'You should watch it again,' I recommended. 'In fact, watch it twice and really think about it. It's really a fascinating movie.'

'I never said it wasn't,' she pointed out. I felt her hands drift a little and her finger brush under my top. She tickled the small of my back and I couldn't help but smile. 'Hi,' she said again, giving me a seductive look.

'Hi,' I replied.

'It's nice to see you open up,' she said. 'You seemed so shy at first.'

I didn't know how to reply to that, so I shrugged.

'Can I ask you something?' she asked.

'Sure,' I said.

'Who was that I saw you with earlier?' I heard a trace of uncertainty in her voice, proving that she wasn't as confident as she made herself seem.

I smiled to ease her fears. 'That was Rory,' I said. 'She's a friend.'

'Are you sure?' she asked me, giving me a searching look.

'I'm sure,' I replied, trying to seem sincere. I wasn't sure how well I did.

'So she's not your girlfriend or anything?'

'I wouldn't be dancing with you if she was,' I said.

'Touché.'

I felt a little guilty not telling Alison about my feelings for Rory, but I didn't want to jeopardize this potential relationship. Things had been going pretty well so far and I was sure telling her that I was in love with another woman would quickly change that.

'How long have you been a lesbian?' Alison asked, out of the blue.

'I don't know,' I said immediately. 'Always – I guess.'

'I mean, how long have you known?'

'A few years,' I said honestly. 'I had a crush on this girl that went to my old school. That's when I first figured it out. What about you?'

'Quite a while for me,' she answered. 'I knew even when I was a kid. It wasn't a sexual thing then, but I always felt a certain kind of pull towards girls.'

'That must have been hard.'

'How so?'

'Just being that young and having to deal with something like that,' I said, unsure now. 'Wasn't it?'

'It wasn't that bad,' she said. 'I was young and I didn't care. I was a little confused about it, so I told my mom, and she was great. She was so supportive and understanding. You see all this drama on TV and in literature, but it wasn't like that for me.'

'My mother would kill me,' I observed.

'You think so?'

'I know so,' I replied. 'I don't get on with her at all. She's always been so controlling and is constantly putting me down. She wants me to be this perfect little daughter, but no matter what I do, she is never impressed. So no, my mother finding out that I'm a lesbian would not be pleasant.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' she said sincerely. 'What about your dad?'

'I could tell him that I'm a terrorist and he wouldn't even hear me,' I said, and yeah, I was a little bitter.

'You're exaggerating,' Alison pointed out.

'Yeah, but the point is valid.'

'So he wouldn't care?'

'He'd be too busy to care,' I said.

'I can't even imagine what it must be like to have parents like that,' Alison said, pulling me closer sympathetically.

'It's fine,' I said, though it really wasn't. 'I get along fine without them.'

'I can see that,' she said, looking me over appreciatively.

I blushed.

'You blush so prettily,' she told me, moving her finger against my skin again.

'Thank you,' I whispered. 'You… you're very… gorgeous.'

You're very gorgeous? Fantastic Paris, I thought snidely, really, top notch flattery.

She smiled at me despite my inept response. 'I'm glad you think so,' she said. 'I was watching you before. I saw you with your friend Rory and I have to admit, I was a little disappointed you were already taken, but then she left you. When she didn't come back, I thought I might have a chance, so I thought, what the hell.'

'I'm glad you did.'

'Me too,' she said. 'I'm having a lot of fun getting to know you. What about you? Are you having fun now?'

'I guess,' I replied, giving her my own version of a teasing (and no doubt clumsy) smile.

She laughed sharply, and then pulled me even closer, right up against her. She was so close I could feel her warm minty breath as she tipped her face down to mine. I looked up at her, caught off guard, my mouth opening. She pressed her forehead to mine and whispered, 'how about now?'

I swallowed audibly. 'Yeah,' I mumbled softly, my heart racing. She was so close. Her lips… so close to mine… her body pressed enticingly up against me… I wanted her to close that tiny distance and kiss me.

But she didn't.

Instead, she moved back and broke the spell. 'So tell me more about Yale,' she said, 'what are you studying?'

'Um.' My mind was having trouble clicking into gear again after being shut down by her flirtatious teasing.

'Excuse me,' a foreign voice invaded the air before I could find an appropriate response. 'Paris?'

The voice belonged to a diminutive blonde. 'Do I know you?' I asked.

'No,' she said, 'I'm sorry for intruding. You're friend Rory is outside. She doesn't feel well. She asked me if I could come and get you.'

'What's wrong? Is she alright?' I demanded, worry dominating my voice.

'I'm not sure,' the blonde girl replied. 'Will you come with me?'

'Of course,' I said before she even finished. I turned to face my dance partner. 'I'm really sorry Alison.' And I was, but Rory needed me.

'That's okay,' she said, but I could tell she was a little hurt by my sudden need to depart. 'Go help your friend.'

I didn't want things to end like this, so I asked softly, 'could I maybe get your number? Or give you mine?'

Alison smiled, brightening her mood considerably. 'Definitely,' she said. 'Do you have a pen?'

'Um,' I fumbled. No, I didn't.

'I have one,' the blonde spoke up.

'Can I borrow it?' Alison asked her.

'Sure.'

Alison took the pen and the blonde and I followed her over to the bar, where she wrote her number down on a plain white napkin. She handed me the napkin with her sweet, understanding smile. 'Go help your friend,' she said, 'but don't forget to call.'

'Thanks,' I said, tucking it into my purse, 'and I won't.'

'Bye Paris,' she said.

'I'll call you soon,' I said, turning to leave with the blonde. As we walked, I asked her, 'what's wrong with Rory?'

'She didn't say,' she replied.

She led me out into the parking lot, where I found Rory sitting on the floor, arms wrapped protectively around her knees. I rushed over and knelt in front of her.

'Are you okay Rory?'

'Hi Paris,' she said, giving me a weak smile, 'yeah, I'll be fine. I just really want to go home.'

'Alright,' I said, offering her my hand. She took it and I helped her to her feet. 'Thanks for coming to get me,' I said to the blonde.

'No problem,' she replied, before turning to Rory and saying, 'I hope you feel better.'

Rory nodded. 'Thanks for sitting with me Dinah.'

'Bye,' Dinah called, as Rory and I crossed the lot to her car.

I opened the passenger side door for her. 'I'll drive,' I told her.

'Thanks.' She handed me the keys.

I got in the other side and started the engine.

'I'm sorry I ruined your night,' Rory said softly.

'Don't worry about it,' I assured her.

'I saw you with that redhead. You seemed to be having a good time.'

'I was,' I replied, 'but don't worry. You're my best friend. I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me. Besides, I got her number.'

'You did?'

'Yeah,' I said. 'I was a little shy at first, but she was really easy to talk to. Her name is Alison. She's nice.'

'She looked it,' Rory said. 'Attractive as well.'

I blushed. 'Very.'

'Do I need to ask if you plan on calling her?'

'I don't think you do,' I said, laughing a little. I was still blushing, but I didn't care. I was euphoric with my success.

'I'm really happy for you Paris.'

'Thanks.'

We settled into a comfortable silence for the rest of the drive.