Moonlight on Masks

A collaboration by Kilerkki and Nezuko, Prince of Rats

This is a collaborative work, but there is no way for us to both publish it without being in violation of the rules here. Nonetheless, all the work is equally shared, as should be all praise and criticism.

Additional material, including character analysis, discussions, etc, can be found on out livejournal community:

moonlit-anbu . livejournal . com

This is a work of derivative fiction based on "Naruto" by Kishimoto Masashi.

Chapter 7: Zen-master

Kotetsu swung in the doorway between kitchen and living room, watching Izumo vacuum. "It's just Yuugao and Hayate and Anko," he said. "Not like we're expecting some daimyou to come in here, or photographers from Chic and Stylish." He picked up a plum from a bowl on the counter and ate it happily, plum juice oozing unheeded down his chin.

"Yeah, but it's Yuugao," Izumo reminded him, shoving the vacuum briskly under the legs of the couch. "If she sees things out of place, she'll tidy them. She can't help herself. And as amusing as you think that is," he added, eying his roommate, "the object of the game tonight is to observe the, uh, subjects in their natural environment. Not to show Hayate exactly how neurotic Yuugao is."

"So you admit you're matchmaking?" Kotetsu laughed and straightened a couple of out-of-place magazines on a side table. "Or are you still pretending like Yuugao's crush is utterly innocent, and all about how 'totally amazing' her captain's jutsu was?"

Izumo grinned. "Not matchmaking. Not yet, anyway. Just natural curiosity, y'know?" He ran the vacuum over the center of the floor once more and turned it off. "I've heard lots about him from her, and pretty much nothing about her from him—you know what the last few poker nights have been like. He's barely talked. I figured if we get 'em together we can at least see for ourselves what's going on—if anything is."

"You think him not talking is a sign?" Kotetsu asked, and unplugged the cord from the vacuum, tossing it to Izumo with a practiced underhand. "I mean, he's like that a lot. I don't know why we keep playing with him, really. Guess it's cause he has the decency to lose some of the time."

"You beat him when you cheat," Izumo reminded him as he began to wrap the cord. "I never do." Which was why he and Iruka always insisted they keep the stakes low. The games were far more about the company than about the winnings (or losses), anyway.

He glanced at the wall-clock as he trundled the vacuum off into its spot in the little storage room in the back. "Eight-twenty. You told Yuugao to show up at eight-thirty, right? And everyone else at quarter till? Did Iruka say whether or not he was going to come?"

"Iruka's being boring and staying home to grade papers or something," Kotetsu said with a sigh. "He's turning into an old man before our very eyes. That Academy job is ruining him." He finished his plum and flicked the pit at Izumo. "And I don't only win when I cheat. Sometimes I win fair and square. Besides, like Genma says, it's not cheating if you're a ninja."

Izumo caught the plum pit one-handed without even looking. Paperwork ninja he might be, but he was still a Konoha chuunin and a damn good one at that. "Too bad about Iruka. Do you think we should invite anybody else—create a smoke-screen? Yuugao might suspect something if it's just her and Hayate and Anko and us. Though Anko's a pretty good distraction on her own," he added thoughtfully.

"Anko's a good distraction. She'll keep things lively," Kotetsu said. "Besides, I got good beer. We'll get everyone a little mellow, feed 'em that salsa stuff you made. And then I'm totally taking home the pot tonight, cause Hayate will be distracted by having Yuugao there."

"Gods, I hope so." Izumo wandered into the kitchen and dumped the plum pit into the garbage can. "They both need to get laid. I know it's been years since Yuugao was actually dating anyone—probably not since she made jounin. And Hayate's almost as bad. Do you even know when his last girl was?"

"He had that girl from the bakery last fall," Kotetsu said, and sprawled gracelessly on the couch, propping his feet up on the table. "I think she broke it off 'cause she never knew when she was gonna see him." He looked up at Izumo expectantly. "Get me a beer, will you? Anyway, that's why I always say stay away from the civvies."

"So their schedules work together, and Yuugao's a hell of a lot more impressed with him than she was with that chuunin punk." Izumo grinned as he pulled a chilled can out of the fridge and tossed it from the kitchen door. "Obviously, they're perfect for each other." If only relationships really did work like that... He and Kotetsu had spent about as many years looking after the skinny girl with the huge dark eyes and the long purple hair as she had spent tagging after them and insisting that she was looking out for them as well. As it turned out, she was often the one to turn the tide when Izumo and Kotetsu got in over their heads—but not years nor skill nor rank would ever keep Izumo from thinking of her as the little sister neither he nor Kotetsu had ever had. The little sister they wanted to see happy, at any price.

Of course, if they could amuse themselves while doing so... On with the show!

There was a noise. Not the sort of noise that would make anyone alarmed. Not even the sort of noise that would make most ninja sit up and take notice. But Kotetsu heard it, and he recognized it. Footsteps outside their gate, the subtle creak of the aged hinges. "She's here," he said, and popped open his beer. He made sure to sprawl extra sloppily across the couch, so Yuugao would have something to complain about. He was a good friend like that, after all. Thoughtful. Considerate. "You gonna let her in?"

Izumo rolled his eyes at Kotetsu but headed for the door. He opened it just as Yuugao's hand lifted to knock, and he grinned at her exasperated expression. "Hey, Yuugao. Good of you to share your day off with us."

"I'm here because you two asked me to be," she pointed out, as he stepped back to let her in. She toed her sandals off in the entry-way and added, "Kotetsu said there would be food." A casual wave to Kotetsu; a slight, predictable, narrowing of the eyes. "If you're going to prop your feet up on the table like that, you should wash them first."

"I'll have you know my feet were licked clean by Izumo himself," Kotetsu said, and lifted one foot into the air, towards their guest. "And there is food. He made those chicken skewer things with the hot sauce."

Yuugao winced involuntarily; Izumo laughed and shut the door. "Shut up, Ko, that was private," he said fondly. Yuugao was the one to roll her eyes, this time. She padded barefoot across the floor and sank into the couch on the side Kotetsu wasn't occupying, curling her long legs up beneath her. She'd dressed nicely again this evening, Izumo noted, though he sincerely doubted it was for any practical purpose; as strenuously as Yuugao might deny it, he'd noticed long ago that she enjoyed looking pretty and usually dressed as stylishly as the occasion would permit. Probably, having spent the majority of the last few months confined to uniform, she had jumped at the opportunity to dress up again.

"Ko told you Anko's coming over, right?" Izumo asked casually, palming a handful of salted nuts from the bowl on the table. He dropped down to sit cross-legged on the floor by Kotetsu's knees and added, "We were thinking maybe of teaching you to play poker again."

Yuugao looked as if she couldn't decide whether to be thrilled (presumably at the prospect of their friend's appearance) or apprehensive (at the poker?). "Ryouma-senpai's been teaching me, too," she said. "I do all right as long as we're playing with our masks on. Shut up, Kotetsu. When is Anko showing up?"

"Few minutes. We figured we'd give you time to pick the best spot to ambush her," Kotetsu said and grinned. "So you're playing poker with your ANBU buddies and not telling us about it? I'm sure I can speak for Izumo in this: We're hurt. Deeply hurt." His face took on a look of abject sorrow. Gods it was fun to tease the girl.

But all teasing aside, if she was playing cards with Ryouma... maybe this wouldn't be the first time she'd played the zen-master?

"You'd be hurt worse if you actually thought ambushing Anko was a good idea," Yuugao observed, thumping Kotetsu lightly with a throw pillow. "And I'm not actually playing yet. Ryouma-senpai somehow got this idea that I couldn't be on Squad Six and not play poker, so he roped Shou-senpai into helping teach me. It's mostly just been these past few days, since we got back from the mission." Something flickered in her face. Izumo, watching her keenly, traded a significant glance with Kotetsu. She'd told them only a little about her first ANBU mission, other than a vivid description of Hayate's amazing ninjutsu, but it was clear that something had changed; she'd never mentioned spending much time with Ryouma and Shou before.

"So Hayate hasn't been involved?" Izumo asked, digging a little deeper.

She shook her head. For a moment the lightest trace of a flush touched her cheeks. "Ryouma said he'd clean me out if we played him before I knew what I was doing."

The flush was probably just at the memory of her weakness—Izumo had long ago learned to be wary of Yuugao's absurd sensitivity about her perceived shortcomings—but he could still hope!

"No kidding," Kotetsu said. "He completely bankrupted Anko last time we played." He gave a low whistle. Anko was gonna be out for blood tonight, which made for good distractions. Definitely good. "Sounds like your buddies Ryouma and Shou are looking out for you." A thought struck him and he gave Yuugao something approximating a serious look. "You replacing us, Shorty?"

"Replacing you?" Yuugao's brow furrowed in momentary confusion; then it cleared. She thumped Kotetsu again, harder. "Idiot. They're my teammates, not— Not like you guys. Thank heavens," she added under her breath.

"You're asking for a beat-down, little sister," Kotetsu said with a wide grin. He set the pillow right and took a long swallow of his beer. "Anyway, we'll help you with your poker game. You'll be beating the pants off those ANBU guys in no time."

"Hush, Ko," Izumo commanded. "Strip poker should wait until at least the next lesson."

This time Yuugao threw the pillow at him, but it was worth it to see the rising blush in her cheeks.

Of course, it couldn't exactly end there. He threw the pillow back, and Yuugao uncurled enough to kick at him, and then he caught her ankle and Kotetsu went for her ribs. Izumo got a knee in the jaw, and Kotetsu just barely avoided a broken nose from her head-butt, but the odds were against her—and they'd been doing this for years. Within a moment all three of them were rolling on the floor, banging into the coffee-table and couch, in a full-fledged tickle-fight.

They wouldn't have heard Anko even if she had knocked. Izumo only looked up when the door slammed and a cheerful voice inquired, "Did we decide on tickling instead of poker? Yo, Yuugao!"

"Anko!" Yuugao said, breathlessly. "Help!"

"Girls against boys!" Anko exclaimed delightedly, and tackled Kotetsu.

"Ank—!" Kotetsu's greeting was broken by a startled yelp as the hyperactive woman went for a headlock. "Damn, woman!" he grunted, twisting to get free. He hooked a leg around her ankle and tried to sweep it out from under her, crashing into the coffee table and upsetting the bowl of nuts Izumo had set out as part of the poker snacks. "Give a guy a chance to—" his words were cut off again when Anko used some obviously sneaky and underhanded trick to pin him with his face to the floor.

Damn special jounin chicks and their damn tricks.

"You can let me up now," he told the floor, and watched another pistachio roll under the couch.

With Kotetsu distracted, Izumo didn't have a chance; Yuugao writhed and squirmed and ended up kneeling on his chest with his hands pinned around his own throat. "Thanks, Anko," she said gratefully, giving the other young woman a swift smile. "They need a little reminding of their manners every so often."

"You're the ones sitting on people," Izumo pointed out. "I think I've changed my mind about feeding you."

Anko was up in a flash and sitting on the arm of the couch, legs crossed and eyes dancing. "What's for snacks?"

"Well for starters, there's the salted nuts you spilled all over," Kotetsu complained, tugging his t-shirt back into place and running a hand through the wild brush of his hair. The gesture made not one whit of difference to his appearance, but it made him feel like he'd put some effort into straightening himself up a little. "And since you spilled 'em, you get to pick em up." He handed the bowl to Anko with a grin. "There's a couple under the sofa," he said helpfully.

Anko eyed him narrowly. "I out-rank you," she suggested.

"Unfortunately," Yuugao said, stepping off Izumo at last and picking up a handful of scattered nuts, "we're not in the field." She dumped the nuts into Anko's bowl and raked her fingers through her long hair, restoring it far more effectively than Kotetsu had managed with his. Izumo sat up and tugged at the hem of her lacey white blouse. "Strap showing, Yuugao-chan."

"Hey, you shouldn't have told her that!" Anko complained, as Yuugao quickly tucked her bra-strap under the shoulder of her shirt. "Wasn't the whole point—"

Izumo threw an almond at her. Yuugao looked suspicious for a moment—and then far more suspicious, as someone knocked on the door.

Kotetsu left Izumo to run interference with Yuugao and went to get the door. "It's the zen-master!" he said delightedly, and stepped back. "And uh..."

"I hope you don't mind I brought a friend," Hayate said. "You remember Sakamoto Genta, right?"

"Right," Kotetsu agreed and stepped back to let the two men in. "So... Everyone's here. The more the merrier." That was an interesting little wrinkle. But it probably wouldn't hurt. He gave Izumo a quick wink.

"Thanks," Genta said, and stepped through ahead of Hayate, who was carrying the beer. "Hayate said it was gonna be an open poker game and..." he stopped and his smile grew wider, crinkling his eyes up into little slits of happiness. "Yuugao! Hayate didn't tell me you played cards. I suppose it's a requirement on his team, eh?"

As Kotetsu watched, Hayate did the most stunningly un-zen-master-like thing he'd ever seen of the other man. He froze mid-step over the threshold and nearly dropped the beer.

Oh yeah, this was gonna be perfect, Kotetsu thought, with a wide grin of his own. Absolutely perfect.

Izumo kept his eyes on Yuugao as Kotetsu opened the door; the whole point of the evening was observing her (and Hayate's) reactions, after all. The shock in her eyes was potentially a good thing; the look of utter betrayal that she cast down at Izumo probably wasn't. He smiled hopefully at her and climbed to his feet. From here he could see the faces of their new guests—and Hayate's was brilliant. Izumo wished devoutly that Kotetsu had let him invest in that camera last month.

The other ANBU captain wasn't a problem; Hayate had brought him to poker night once or twice before, and he'd been good company and an easy conversationalist. He'd make Anko's smoke-screen even more plausible. Although... Sakamoto Genta was well-known to be gay, wasn't he? So what was Yuugao thinking when she saw him showing up with Hayate? Damn, if she retreated into her shell now...

Fortunately, not even Yuugao could ignore a direct question. "I don't play, exactly," she said. "But Ryouma-senpai and Shou-senpai have been teaching me. Apparently it is a requirement."

Her eyes darted to Hayate, and then away. Izumo traded delighted grins with Anko behind her back.

"Don't worry, we'll make sure we play for low stakes while you get your feet wet," Genta said and cast a puzzled look at Hayate.

Kotetsu slapped Hayate on the back and took the beer in a smooth motion. "Come on in. I know you're not afraid of girls, Hayate."

Hayate seemed to recover his composure a little, for his look softened and he smiled at Yuugao. "Hi Yuugao. I didn't realize you knew these card sharks."

"Don't even bother pretending," Kotetsu said, and laughed. "You're the card shark. You're gonna go easy on us tonight, right?"

"I always go easy on you," Hayate said and finally kicked off his sandals and stepped up into the room.

Kotetsu pulled a couple of the beers free from the sack, which he handed off to Izumo. Hayate looked like he could use one, and it was only fair to start getting Yuugao sloshed as well. Well at least a little tipsy. Less panic stricken anyway. He offered a beer to each of them while Izumo did the same for Genta and Anko.

Anko took the beer, but she still looked rebellious. "You went home with half my paycheck last time we played," she reminded Hayate. "How is that going easy?"

"It could have been your full paycheck," Yuugao said. "It's your own fault for betting so much." Despite her deliberately casual tone, her eyes were still wide with shock; she kept sneaking glances at Hayate, as if she didn't quite believe it. His appearance, Izumo wondered, or his...appearance? Come to think of it, Yuugao probably had never seen Hayate out of uniform before. His loose-fitted, faded jeans and white tee-shirt weren't exactly the height of style, but it was a change. (And better than Genta, who was wearing baggy board shorts in a red on faded red flowery print, and a bright yellow shirt that said Assassins Do It From Behind.)

Diversion time, Izumo decided. "Anko, you're still cleaning up those nuts, right? Ko, come gimme a hand in the kitchen?"

"Sure," Kotetsu said and made sure to bump Anko on his way past her, so that some of the nuts spilled again. "Oops, sorry."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be, buster," Anko snapped, grabbing a handful of nuts and shoving them down the back of his shirt.

"Ooooh cheating!" Kotetsu said, and danced out of her way and into the kitchen. But the diversion he could see Izumo had wanted was accomplished. Hayate and Yuugao were both staring at him and Anko like they were idiots.

Genta laughed and took a sip of beer, then got on his hands and knees and starting retrieving lost nuts. "You must have gotten started on the beer before we got here," he said and handed a fistful of nuts up to Anko.

Hayate looked for a moment like he wasn't sure what to do with himself, then set his beer on the coffee table and dropped to the floor to help gather the scattered nuts as well.

The kitchen was set at right angles to the living room, meaning that unless Izumo stood right in front of the pantry and peered around the wall, he couldn't see what was going on. But he had very good hearing, and so he could catch even Yuugao's lowered voice protesting, "Taichou, you don't have to do that—"

"Still calls him Taichou," Izumo murmured to Kotetsu. "Bad sign."

"Yeah," Kotetsu agreed, and poked a finger into a bowl of sauce for a taste. "But did you see Hayate's face? That was fuckin' awesome! He was about to pop a boner just looking at her."

"He's seen her out of uniform before, hasn't he?" Izumo pondered over this for a moment. Well, there would have been the days of the ANBU trials, on which she probably would've been wearing something practical for combat. And...possibly the day of the initiation, with probably the same results. Certainly nothing like the dark red, silky skirt and the lacey off-the-shoulder white blouse Yuugao was wearing tonight. Thinking about it objectively, even Izumo had to admit that Yuugao looked pretty damn sexy. Maybe there was hope.

"Yeah. You shouldn't have adjusted that strap." Kotetsu giggled and opened the fridge, pulling out the plates of chicken skewers they'd prepared before. "I just sauce these up and put 'em on a pan to broil, right?" he asked. "He coulda dressed a little nicer. Unless she goes for that white tee-shirt look. Not that we told him," he added. "And oh man, Sakamoto might as well wear a neon sign saying 'I sleep with other boys.' We gotta make sure she knows Hayate's into chicks, not Genta."

"So...ask Sakamoto how things are going with...Oh, shoot." Izumo frowned at the fruit platter. "He's dating someone right now, isn't he?" Kotetsu had to know; Kotetsu knew the dirt on everyone.

"Yeah. Another ANBU guy. You know that guy Hiko who comes in with the new codes once a week? Skinny, kinda nerdy guy? Him." Kotetsu set a row of the chicken skewers on a broiler pan then looked around helplessly. "Where's that brush thing you use for these?"

"Second drawer from the top next to the stove," Izumo said automatically, without turning around. "Okay. Ask Sakamoto how Hiko is, make sure to turn the oven on broil instead of bake this time, try to get Yuugao to loosen up... The beer was a good idea. Maybe we should go for shots. No, we're going for romance, not a drunken fling. Besides, they've got to work with each other in the morning." He paused. "You're right. I am match-making."

"You totally are," Kotetsu agreed, and started painting the chicken with the greenish sauce. He reached out and casually changed the oven setting to the one Izumo had specified. Broil. Bake. They were both for cooking, right? "Just, yeah, remember that have to work together thing. Cause both of them will kill us if we fuck up here."

"And that would be even worse than them not hooking up." The Obvious Ninja strikes again! Izumo finished arranging crackers on the cheese tray, dusted his hands off on his jeans, and peeked into the living room. Anko was currently perched on the arm of the couch again and regaling the others with a tale of her latest Really Awesome Mission. Yuugao was sitting beside her, quiet, but she'd tucked her legs up underneath her again; presumably she felt comfortable enough to relax at least a little. Genta had taken one of the comfortable chairs against the wall, which left one more chair open—

And Hayate hadn't taken it. He was sitting on the other end of the couch, with at least two feet between him and Yuugao, but Izumo could ignore that. This was progress! He ducked back into the kitchen. "They're sort of sitting next to each other!"

"Really?" Kotetsu looked up from his chicken artistry and edged to where he could see into the living room himself, trailing spatters of green sauce on the floor from the brush he still held in his hand. "Well damn, he is." He gave Izumo a wink in answer to the scowl he got for his carelessness with the sauce. "Course they've got the Gulf of Juunan between 'em. But look at him. He's even kind of sitting back and relaxing."

"Relaxing is good," Izumo said, much encouraged. "Maybe the beer's working. Clean up that sauce, will you?" He nabbed the brush, blinked as he saw that Kotetsu had actually done a pretty good job with the chicken, and set the brush in the sink before he opened the oven and slid the broiler pan onto the first rack. "Ah, no, on second thoughts, just take the cheese and the fruit out there. I'll bring the chicken in a minute."

Kotetsu snapped him a brief salute and picked up the platter of fruit in one hand, the cheese and crackers in the other, and headed back to the living room. "So who needs more beer?" he asked, still holding the plates. "And we're gonna move on over to the poker table now, 'cause Izumo's about got the hot food ready." He led the way to the dining table set on tatami matting on the other side of the room, and set the fruit and cheese down on it.

"I'll take another," Genta said and joined Kotetsu at the table. He selected one of the fruit kabobs and ate the strawberry off the end with a happy grin.

Hayate waited a moment for Yuugao and Anko to precede him. Such a well mannered boy, Kotetsu thought to himself with a laugh.

Anko called for more beer as well; Izumo pulled several bottles from the refrigerator and ducked out of the kitchen temporarily to pass them around. Anko and Kotetsu had already taken their usual seats across from each other at the round table; Genta sat next to Anko, and after a moment's hesitation Yuugao sank down onto the tatami mat at her other side. Hayate seated himself last, between the other two men. The zen-master seemed just a little less sedate than normal, Izumo noted as Yuugao refused more beer and he handed the last bottle to Hayate. And though the arrival of two new players (and the absence of Iruka) had upset their usual seating arrangement... Well, c'mon, Hayate didn't have to sit directly across from Yuugao.

"Chicken'll be out in a minute," he told them cheerfully as he retreated back to the kitchen. "Go ahead and get things started."

"Dig in," Kotetsu said, and happily sipped his fresh beer. "We'll eat a little, then we'll play." He gave Yuugao a little wink. "You remember which ones are clubs and which ones are spades, right?"

Hayate blinked. And the look of zen came into his eyes just a little more. But it wasn't altogether there. "You really don't know how to play cards, Yuugao?" he asked. "I thought Ryouma and Shou were kidding when they said they had to give you remedial lessons."

"It wasn't remedial," Yuugao snapped; she sounded stung. "I'd never played. I figured anything these idiots enjoyed so much must be..." A moment of hesitation, as if she were carefully selecting her next words. "Morally reprehensible," she finished. Anko sniggered.

"Oh my," Genta said with mock gentility. He laughed and took another fruit skewer.

Hayate blinked slowly at Yuugao, and reached for a piece of cheese. "So then you know Izumo and Kotetsu well?"

Kotetsu nearly sprayed beer out his nose, holding back his laugh.

This was something Izumo wanted to hear. He ducked out of the kitchen again, leaning against the wall with his arms folded and his grin bright. Yuugao shot him a dour look. "I've been trying to keep them from breaking their necks—or anyone else's—for the past eleven years."

"She's done a decent job of it," Izumo chipped in. "Except for the last part. I think you were the one who showed us how to break a man's neck with one hand, Yuugao."

"Well there was that time we bailed her out of a beating when she was nine," Kotetsu said. "So it's not a total one-way street." His eyes glittered and he laughed. "Right Yuun-chan? What would you do without your big brothers Ko and Izu?"

"You're patently older than eleven," Genta observed, "so I take it you are not blood siblings."

Hayate looked a little startled. "I think I'd have known that. I've been playing poker with them since I was sixteen."

Kotetsu snorted. "You mean fleecing us at poker since you were sixteen. But it's only cause we let you win."

"Of course," Hayate agreed. "It's charity." He sifted a little, leaning back and definitely taking on a mellower look. Kotetsu was pleased to see it. The beer was definitely working. Maybe he'd actually make some money tonight. And if Yuugao would quit being such a sourpuss, maybe she'd get lucky with her oh-so-heroic captain.

"Yeah, well, hard-working guy like you, we figure you need some breaks." Izumo kicked a bare heel idly against the wall. "None of us are blood-related, though. We met in the Academy."

"They didn't object too strenuously to me tagging after them," Yuugao said, her voice softening. Her eyes met Izumo's for a moment, and she smiled suddenly, properly: it lit her whole face up. "I never really thanked you for that, did I? You two...made those days much more bearable."

Izumo was fairly sure he knew which days she was referring to, and that they weren't just their Academy years. He shrugged one shoulder and smiled back at her. "Hey, a girl who can put up with Kotetsu can deal with anything."

"So you have them to thank for the training in tolerating idiot males that let you decide to make a career of ANBU?" Genta laughed. "Well Hayate, I see what we need to do to recruit more kunoichi. Find the girls that are friends with the boys."

Hayate laughed too. His eyes were entirely on Yuugao, Kotetsu noticed. Damn, Izumo was good at that matchmaking thing.

"Izu," Kotetsu said. "The chicken's gonna burn."

"It's not," Izumo snapped, but he wheeled for the kitchen anyway. In the nick of time, actually—Kotetsu was good with things like that. Izumo rescued the (perfectly done) chicken, piled the pieces high on a new plate, snagged another two beers, and returned to the dining room. "You," he told Anko, setting one of the bottles in front of her just as she finished her second one, "are going to end up sloshed and cleaned out tonight, and no one can say I didn't warn you."

"I'll keep it in mind," she promised, already wrenching the cap off the new bottle. "I have a new strategy, though. If I'm going to lose, I might as well do it when I'm drunk. Makes for better excuses, later. And better stories." She grinned across the table at Kotetsu. "One of these days I'm going to take you up on that strip poker offer."

Yuugao went red again. "I thought you were joking about that," she hissed to Izumo as he set the plate on the table and settled himself between her and Kotetsu.

Hayate went an interesting shade of red, too. Oh so very much not the zen-master tonight. Kotetsu chortled and reached for the chicken. "Anko, I always knew there was a reason I loved you."

"Are you serious?" Genta laughed. "And you know the rumor is that you love Izumo, not Anko. I think he'll be hurt to learn otherwise."

"Oh no, never," Kotetsu protested, keeping an eye on the redness in Hayate's cheeks. That was never there before when they'd discussed strip poker. Or at least not quite so bloomingly brilliant.

"I love Izumo the best, no question. My love for Anko is more of a... a..." He groped for words, then yelped when someone's foot landed a solid kick to the inside of his thigh. "Hey! I wasn't gonna say anything bad."

"It's still not much of a compliment to hear you're second-best," Anko sniffed, settling herself comfortably again. "Speaking of which, Yuugao, you found anyone to convince you you're first-best yet?"

Izumo grinned. Yuugao's blush went crimson. "Anko!" she hissed.

"Guess that means no," Anko concluded cheerfully. "Our company of Devilishly Attractive Single Kunoichi is in no danger, then. You can always join the auxiliary branch," she informed Genta and Hayate. "Izumo and Kotetsu can't because they refuse to answer questions, but Single Shinobi could always use more members."

"Oooh, speaking of rumors," Kotetsu chimed in with a grin at Anko. "I heard Genta hooked up with that hottie Hidehiko from coding all the kunoichi were lusting after. Did you?"

Genta laughed and waved a hand self-deprecatingly. "We've seen each other a few times," he answered. "But I don't know that I'd call it a hook-up yet."

"Pay up," Kotetsu said, holding a hand out to Anko. "Told you he was gay. You should know better than to doubt me."

Hayate grinned, taking it all in. "Don't worry, Yuugao," he said, casting her a warm look. "It's always a little... lively... at poker night."

"That shirt's proof enough," Anko grumbled, digging in her pocket and casting a dirty look at Genta's bright, emblazoned tee-shirt. Yuugao looked faintly scandalized, but at least her blush was fading. She even met Hayate's eyes, Izumo noted with interest. And her bottle was nearly half-empty—about the same level as Hayate's, though she was still on her first.

"It's lively around here whether or not it's poker night," Yuugao pointed out. She selected a fruit kabob and eyed it warily. "Does anyone want the cantaloupe?"

"You don't like melon?" Hayate asked. "I do. Melons are great." He stopped open-mouthed when Kotetsu and Anko dissolved in gales of laughter. "I... I mean..."

"He means, 'Sure, I'd love some of your melons,'" Kotetsu said, and nearly choked he was laughing so hard.

This time it wasn't Anko who kicked him. Yuugao had gone brilliant scarlet again. No wonder she was so tense all the time; her blood pressure had to be skyrocketing from all that blushing. Izumo said sternly, "Leave the pieces you don't want on the tray. Ko, shut up and deal."

"You set up the chips then," Kotetsu said and leaned down to massage his leg. "And damn, woman, you don't have to aim for quite such a vulnerable spot."

Hayate was still trying to regain his composure, using his half-empty beer as the focus for that. Genta patted him on the back. "I'm afraid you walked right into that one, Hayate." He looked up at Anko. "And what's wrong with my shirt? I love this shirt. I got it on a mission to Wave country."

"Nothing's wrong," Anko said, still giggling. "It just says a lot about you. Like Ibiki and his trench coat. Me and my fishnet." She glanced around the table. "Yuugao and her hair."

"My hair?" Yuugao blinked. She was leaning on the table, chin cupped in her hands and fingers spread over her cheeks in an apparent (and fruitless) attempt to disguise the blushing. "Anko, I think you're drunk."

"Possibly," Anko admitted. "Okay, time to start the poker!"

"Oh Anko's not nearly drunk!" Kotetsu laughed. "Maybe a little tipsy." He produced a pack of cards and tossed them to Hayate. "You want to break the seal?"

It was Genta's excellent reflexes that saved Hayate getting struck in the face. The other ANBU captain shot out a hand and caught the deck, while Hayate just blinked. Red-faced. Not looking at Yuugao. Although given the provocation Kotetsu knew he'd given the man, it wasn't that surprising. And look, Yuun-chan was blushing, too.

"Hayate needs another beer," Genta said, and broke the seal on the deck himself. "And if these are marked cards, don't think we won't notice."

"If Ko's tampered with 'em, you have my full permission to deck him," Izumo assured him, pushing himself up and away from the table. He padded into the kitchen and retrieved several more chilled bottles from the fridge. They'd already raced through Hayate's six-pack and were well on their way to working through the beer Kotetsu had stocked. If they drank much faster they'd be out of beer, and he'd be forced to break out the good stuff.

He said as much as he came back into the dining room and handed around the bottles: one each for Hayate, Genta, and Kotetsu. Anko wasn't quite done with her third, and Izumo was about to keep the last bottle for himself until he noticed that Yuugao had set her empty bottle on the carpet beside her. He popped the cap casually and set the new bottle down at her right hand before he dropped into his seat beside her and reached for a skewer of chicken. Yuugao and Genta, he noticed, were the only ones who'd made any real inroads on the food. "Anko wants to get drunk," he observed, "but the rest of you are gonna have to get eating if you don't want to end up actually playing strip poker."

Yuugao hastily took another two fruit kabobs.

"Yeah, eat, Hayate," Genta said, and handed him a chicken skewer. "I don't want to end up holding your head while you puke those beers back up in the bushes."

"I'm not that much of a lightweight," Hayate complained, taking the chicken. He glanced up at Yuugao with a shy sort of smile on his lips. "Don't let them um, bother you too much," he said. "Or tell you too many lies about me."

"Oh it's no lie," Genta laughed. "Hayate's a great guy, and he can usually hold his liquor. But only if you make him eat. Ryouma and Shou will tell you the same thing." He stuck a skewer in his mouth and started riffling the cards, arching and bridging them, breaking them in as he shuffled.

Kotetsu stretched out his legs and gave Izumo a little nudge under the table. So far so good, right?

"So what are we playing?" Genta asked, and started to deal.

a few hours later

The party broke up shortly before midnight, as usual; the ANBU pleaded work in the morning, and although Izumo was quite sure that none of them had missions and that he and Kotetsu were the only ones who actually had to show up to their office before nine o'clock, he was happy enough to say goodbye. As Yuugao lived only a few blocks away, Hayate and Genta had offered to walk her home, and she had accepted with only a token protest. Their departure left Izumo, Anko, and Kotetsu to clean up and analyze the hell out of every glance and every word.

Anko wasn't nearly as drunk as she'd seemed a moment ago, although she'd lost badly enough to make it realistic. "Lots easier to watch what's going on when people think you're drunk," she told Izumo as she helped him tote the crumb-sprinkled platters back into the kitchen. "Course there's more to observe when the rest of 'em are drunk, too. Didja notice Hayate didn't win as big as usual, tonight?"

"I noticed I actually won a little," Izumo said, grinning. Yuugao had, too; beginner's luck, she'd claimed, but Izumo wondered if the causes lay more in her growing interest in the game (and, perhaps, a little leniency on Hayate's part?). Genta had lost a little, as had Kotetsu, despite his steadily more outrageous cheating.

"He may have won less, but he still won," Kotetsu grumbled, and tossed several empty bottles into a paper sack for recycling. "So you think he likes her? He's still the damn Zen-master. Man is he hard to read." He clinked several coins together in his pocket and frowned. "We should have gotten him more drunk. She likes him though. Totally."

"She actually started calling him by name about halfway through!" Anko agreed happily. She swiped her finger through the congealed green sauce on the empty chicken-platter and sucked it thoughtfully. "I don't think she drank enough to invite him in once he gets her home, though. And Genta's there. Damn. One of you boys should've distracted him. Both? I bet he'd've gone for a threesome."

"We wanted to talk this over," Izumo reminded her. "And if Genta knew we're trying to set them up he'd probably feel honor-bound to tell Hayate, or something. Besides—"

"Oooh, we're trying to set them up now?" Anko asked, delighted. "That's much better than just observing!"

"Hey, you know our rule about sleeping with jounin," Kotetsu reminded Anko. "Don't get in bed with people who can tie better knots than you can." He picked up another near-empty and tilted the bottle to drain the last dregs. They were all friends here, right? Although, eww, warm beer. Must have been Yuugao's—she was the one who nursed hers the longest.

"Anyway it's Izumo who's trying to set them up. I'd rather play junior naturalist. So you both agree with my observation then? She's like one of those chicks in the comics with the little hearts in her eyes?"

Izumo stoppered the sink, squirted a dash of liquid soap into the bottom, and turned the tap on hot. "I'm...well, I think you're half-right. I'd bet my hitai'ate that she's got the beginnings of a good crush going, but a good part of it's hero-worship, and if she's aware of it at all she's probably convinced herself that's all it is." He grinned. "You know our Yuun-chan. She can take self-deception to the max."

"I'm more worried about her hang-ups with rules getting in the way, actually," Anko said. She leaned against the kitchen counter, surprisingly serious. "Even if she had Konoha's biggest crush on Hayate, d'you think she'd ever say anything to her captain? And what about him?"

"Zen-master?" Kotetsu reached for the first clean dish and started drying it. "I have no idea. Sometimes he seems like the world's most upstanding citizen—well aside from being a captain in the baby-murder division." He paused, looking up as if the answer were somewhere on the ceiling.

"Nah, I think he'd probably... No wait..." Another long pause, as the dish drying came to an absolute halt. "Maybe Genta'd talk him into it. I heard he used to fool around with a teammate."

Izumo blinked. "That must've been a while ago. Kazuhiro and Masao are about as straight as they come, and Isato was married, wasn't he?"

"His wife's living with her mother now," Anko agreed. "This was two, three years ago, maybe? Right after he got promoted to captain of Squad Three. And it wasn't his own teammate—he was from Squad Five or Six, I think. Honda Asato."

Passing another dish to Kotetsu, Izumo whistled. "Hey, I thought Ko and I are supposed to be the Ninja Who Know Everything. Where d'you come up with all the good gossip?"

Anko's lips curled back in a startlingly feral grin. "I know Asato. Dated his little brother." Her expression was a clear enough indication of how that one had gone.

"Ah," Izumo said, and added hastily, "So, what'd you observe about Hayate?"

"Well, his card playing was off," Kotetsu said, and went back to drying. He handed Anko a clean plate. "Stick this in that cupboard," he told her, nodding at the intended place. "Also he drank more than usual. And ate less. He's gonna have a hangover in the morning."

"He blushed an awful lot," Anko added. "Usually he's fine with the dirty jokes. And it's not just 'cause there were girls there—he never gets embarrassed when it's just me."

"Maybe you're just one of the guys," Izumo said, scrubbing away at the last platter.

Anko made a face at him. "The way I dress, I sure as hell hope not!"

"Wait," Kotetsu said, and looked at Anko critically. "Don't tell us you've been carrying a torch for Hayate all this time and never told us! Poor Anko-chan! And now you've got a rival."

He was just asking to be hit, and Anko obliged. She didn't look terribly upset, though. Yuugao would have belted him, sure, but she would've been blushing like mad while she did it. Anko seemed incapable of blushing. She said coolly, "I could get Hayate if I wanted him. Fortunately for him, I don't. He's a little too..."

"Upstanding?" Izumo suggested.

"Bland," Anko decided. "And short. Now, Morino in T&I is another matter altogether..."

"Short?" Kotetsu sputtered. He stood a scant half a centimeter taller than Anko, and while it wouldn't be fair to call him sensitive about his height—after all Izumo was only slightly taller—he'd had to admit it was kind of cool that Genta was the shortest guy at their poker night for a change. "Hayate's not short. And there's nothing wrong with short guys anyway."

He took another dish and dried it furiously. "Also Hayate's not really bland. I mean, he's not boring like what's his name in mission assignments. And you're out of your mind if you have your heart set on Morino. That dude... Ugh." Kotetsu shuddered and thrust the dry plate at Anko.

"My heart's not set on Morino!" Anko said indignantly. "I just like tall, dark, and, um, interesting. I could go after Namiashi Raidou if you prefer."

"So interesting means scarred," Izumo interpreted, turning off the tap and pulling the stopper out of the drain. "Well, Anko, your selection should be pretty good in this village. Though if you went after Raidou, you might have to fight Genma for him."

"I thought so," Anko agreed. "Anyway, we're talking about Yuugao's love life—or lack of one—not mine. She's interested but may never figure it out. Hayate might be. Or he might have a fever."

"Well whatever he has," Kotetsu said, and took the last dish to dry, "he just better not hurt our Yuun-chan. Cause I'd hate to have to commit treason and kill a superior officer and all that. But if he breaks her heart we have to kill him. Agreed?"

"I'll do it!" Anko chirped. "He doesn't outrank me."

"That's...one solution," Izumo said, rolling his eyes. "I think I'm just gonna hope it works out great."

"Pussy," Kotetsu said, and snapped the towel at Izumo's ass. "You'll step up if it comes to it. Besides, it'd be three against one. He can't be that good."

"Yuugao thinks so," Anko smirked. She shoved herself away from the counter at last and looked around the clean kitchen. "So, when are we doing this again?"

ooo ooo ooo

End Chapter Seven

A cast list, for those struggling with the large numbers of characters we've introduced, can be found at:

moonlit-anbu . livejournal . com / 2063 . html