Title: Death Running Through Your Veins

Disclaimer: I own NCIS... Yeah right, would be nice if I could put that above my stories, don't you think?

Summary: Ziva has returned to NCIS and everything should be back to normal… The reality is that nothing is as it was.

Warnings: Deals with self harm/cutting.

Chapter seven: Peace for all

'You are leaving.' He sounded just the slightest bit surprised. That she would leave eventually was not so strange, he just did not expect her to leave today. She must have started packing when she left NCIS a few hours before him, this morning she had not yet started.
'Yes, I am going home. I think I will be alright now.' She sounded sure of her own words and he knew they were true.

When he had taken her home from the hospital they had decided that she would move in with him for a while. It seemed the best solution, as she felt more secure of herself with someone around.

But when he said she could not go to work the next day she ignored him for the rest of that week. She understood his point, but that did not make her accept it with a sign of resistance.

Every night she would sit at the top of the stairs of the basement; she would not say anything, just watched him. The third night he mentioned her down: you do not need to talk when you are sanding a boat, you are just to listen and look how to do it. She would help him sand his boat, in silence.

She knew he was watching her. He watched her sand the boat, as he would do the same. Once he just stood in the doorway when he got home. How long she did not know, she knew he was there, but kept on sanding.

She felt bad about what she was doing to him. He took her in , let her stay at his house, took care of her and she ignored him. It made her feel guilty; and she only knew one way to let that guilt out of her head. He saw the blood on her sleeve when he returned from work that day.
'Ziva, you know why you are staying here.' She looked at him from the other side of the boat. She nodded.
'Then talk.'
'I felt guilty not talking to you.' Her voice was raspy from not using it.
'You stay here, so you can talk to someone. Eventually that will make you feel better. You know that right?' He looked at her. She swallowed and went back to the sanding.

From that moment she talked. Whenever she felt bad, they would sit down and talk. It relieved her, as she never realized how good it felt when you do not keep secrets, but share them. He understood why she actually did not want to talk about it. Somalia had truly been horrific, the more he knew, the less he wanted to know. Being able to forget completely would probably be better than having to life with it, but there was nothing to choose. She went through it, she survived and she would have to life with it. And talking about it was the way to do that.

When she started talking to him again, he soon aloud her to go back to work again.

Talking and working, things going back to normal: slowly the look in her eyes changed. From haunted it went to peaceful control, like it had been before.

At first he did not dare ask, but after a few weeks she confirmed his thoughts. Cutting was no longer the only way to deal with her memories. She had excepted them and could put them away when it bothered her. She could not promise to never do it again, but she could say she would try and that is what she did.

At work the change in Ziva was just as good, DiNozzo for once being smart and never bringing up that night in the basement certainly helped. When she started working again, the two of them teasing around and bugging McGee quickly resumed. Everyone noted the change: of course Ducky and Abby noticed immediately, but it was so clear that even McGee and DiNozzo saw it too.

Only, opposite to Ducky and Abby, they did not dare to say it out loud, as Ziva's old spirit coming back also meant she was a dangerous Crazy Ninja Chick again.
Seeing things go back to normal calmed Gibbs, this was his team, the way it was supposed to be.

When they got home from work, they would sand the boat. Some times in silence, some times talking. Seeing her calmly work his boat made him smile, she was going to be alright. All she needed was time.

She had been staying at his house for three months when he found her bag all packed in the hallway, the moment he came through the door.

'Your leaving.'
'Yes, I am going home. I think I will be alright now.' A smile was on her lips.
'I am sure you will be.' He looked into her eyes. The smile had not reached them, there was some fear in her look.
'My door is always open if you need to talk. Never doubt that.' The fear disappeared and he smiled too when he embraced her. He never thought he would ever have his old Ziver back. But he had. Maybe everything was, finally, back to normal.

A/N: I hope you liked my story. I would love to know when you did: REVIEW! You will make my day.