Bella
Work is stressful, but it's a good stress. Angela's planning company is one of the best in the city so there is no shortage of customers, phone calls, appointments of invoices. Though it's a lot of work it's rewarding and it takes my mind off of the mess at home. Edward has been spending more time there and though this will sound terrible, I wish we went back to the days when he laid out at Tanya's until nearly dawn. And as if his presence isn't enough… he's always talking to me! He's always talking about me and him and sex and it's disgusting and embarrassing. He says wants to fix our marriage but he just doesn't know that I don't. There isn't enough marital duct tape in the universe to repair us. The only reason I'd ever consider going to counseling with him is so that when we are divorced we can be civil to each other for Nessie's sake.
There was so much to do at work that when I'd finally finished it all, it was time to lock up. So I did and I left the files, letter and anything else that Angela would need on her desk, along with a card on her desk. She and Ben were expecting their first baby. I remember when I was pregnant with Nessie. Things seemed so much better then. Probably because they were. Though some part of me wonders if things were really better or if I was just blind to the badness of it all.
I picked Nessie up from school. She was ready to go, like always and she had a million stories to tell, like always!
"…and so that's why I told her that if she was mean to him one more time, I'd put silly slime on the monkey bars to make her fall!"
"Nessie, that's not nice and you could get in trouble for saying that."
"Yeah but she was bullying him! He's a nice kid and she's being mean because he doesn't have a big house. That's not right is it?"
"No, it's not and I'm very proud of you for sticking up for him but you should really tell a teacher."
"Okay. I'll tell the teacher but if she doesn't do anything, I'm putting silly slime on the monkey bars."
I couldn't help but laugh. Nessie is smart, I'll give her that. My little girl. The closer I get to being able to file, the more I wonder how the divorce will impact her. She's crazy about Edward. Yes, he's done me wrong and sometimes his priorities are messed up but I don't want Nessie in the middle of this. I've decided that I would be willing to let her see him once the marriage is dissolved. Not for Edward, but for Nessie. I mean, she's always asking where he is and whenever we go for ice-cream or a cupcake she's always sure to include him.
"Mommy, what are we doing this weekend?"
"Tomorrow we'll go to the park…maybe ice cream if you're good and then for Sunday we'll have to see."
"Is Daddy coming?"
"I don't know. You'll have to ask him."
"Oh…okay. Daddy works a lot."
"Yup, he does."
"We should be billionaires by now huh?"
She's the only bit of comic relief I have during this time.
We got home and as soon as I opened the door I spied Edward, on the couch in his casual clothes with his lap top on his knees and his fingers to the keyboard.
"Daddy! You're home."
"Yeah bug, I am."
"Now stop typing! I have to tell you all about my day."
Edward
Nessie has some exciting days. I have to give her that much. Though I can't really be mad at her for wanting to can that little bully. She's got a good heart. I wish I could take credit for that but I really can't.
After a few minutes of hanging with me Nessie went to put down her school stuff in her room. The weekend is here so that means… I don't really know what that means.
My cell phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out to look at it.
Tanya: are you coming over or what? I'm starting to feel like I'm on the back burner.
I've been trying not to see her as much. I figure a break up will be easier this way. She's lost her appeal. Probably because she expects too much now. I liked it better when she only hoped I'd spend time with her. It was a treat, not a given.
I went upstairs and I happened to walk by the guest bedroom Bella's been staying in. The Beatles were playing and the area around the door smelled like her perfume. I admit that I liked that scent. The smell of it on our sheets was comforting for a while. Until it started smelling like me. I knocked on the door.
"Nessie I said give me a mi…" She opened the door. "Edward?"
"I just wanted to…say hi and ask how your day was."
"Well hello and my day was fine. Why are you home? No hot dates with Tanya?"
"No. I was hoping I could hang with you and Renesmee."
"She told you we were going out?'
"No… but I figured as much."
"You know this won't fix or change anything. I'm just…letting you come along for her sake."
"I know."
Bella looked beautiful. She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt with jeans and sneakers. Her hair was in a messy knot atop her head and the tattoo she'd gotten in college on the back of her neck of a butterfly and her parent's initials was showing. Letting her know she looked nice wouldn't do any good though because she'd just shoot me down.
I turned round to head to my room and Nessie came barreling down the hallway.
"Daddy, what are you doing? Put on your shoes! We are going to Pizza Universe!"
She did a karate kick in the air and fell down. She got up quickly and continued running until she made it into Bella's room. Something tells me I am going to regret asking to go out. I didn't know it was Pizza Universe.
I regret ever asking to come to pizza universe. Everything is glowing, all the controllers are sticky, it smells like burnt pizza and they don't even sell beer. Nessie is having a ball though. She's got so many tickets that Bella and I have resorted to putting them around our necks like scarves. Her favorite games seem to be the ones involving shooting, martial arts of beating the daylights out of poor defense-less mechanics creatures.
She ran back over to Bella after winning another extremely long ribbon of tickets.
"Mommy! I hit the jackpot. Hold my earnings."
"Okay Nessie. Be careful baby!"
Nessie fell but she got right back up and kept running. She's clumsy like that.
This place is definitely for families. All around, all I see are these perfect looking nuclear families and then there's us. We look perfectly nuclear but we aren't. Sleeping in different beds, at each other's throats. I have to admit that it's my fault, most of this… still, I'll never admit it.
Edward made sure the blindfold was still over Bella's eyes tightly. He helped her up the steps of their porch. The porch was attached to their house. The house of their dreams. Six bedrooms, three car garage, four bathrooms and enough space for a pool. It was the perfect space for the little family they'd have in four months or so. A little girl…they were having a little girl.
"Edward where are we going?"
"Hold on! No peeking. You'll love it. I promise!"
He opened the door and then when she stepped in he took the blindfold off. She looked around, mouth thrown open and then she hugged him.
"I love it! It's perfect! Oh Edward, it's home."
"I hoped you'd like it and I know out little lamb will just love it."
"Of course she will… It'll be her home."
Bella smiled while rubbing her belly and Edward knew he'd done something right. He'd bought a house his wife loved. A house for them to raise kids, hopefully there would be more to come.
The house was nearly fully furnished. While she'd been visiting his sister he'd had all of the things in their apartment moved here. Of course, it still lacked decoration.
She sat down on the couch and hummed to herself while looking around the space. She was so beautiful. He got down on his knees and kissed her stomach while she ran her fingers through his hair.
There was so much crying going on in the house that Edward felt like he wanted to join to party and weep. Bella cried all the time and the baby cried all the time! Neither one of them had anything to cry about though. They were sheltered, clothed, fed…what was there to boo hoo about?
He went to work early. His promotion as only a year old so he still had to watch his p's and q's. His secretary told him the rundown of the day. He had to interview a potential employee today.
He sat down and got settled. After going over a few things he got a call from his secretary saying that his interviewee was here. He got together the questions and waited for the person to come in. To his surprise, she wasn't what he'd expected. She was platinum blonde with eyes like ocean water, legs that went on for days and cups that ran over. That alone made him pay attention to every word that left her blood colored lips.
"Hello Ms… H…"
"Call me Tanya, please Mr. Cullen."
He asked her the questions and she answered them easy enough. She seemed smart and before long they were talking cars and stocks. They talked so long that he didn't realize time slipping away. His secretary had to come in to remind him of his meeting. It was like Tanya got him like nobody had gotten him for months. Anything was better than the four months of weeping, he'd endured at home.
Bella felt useless. She couldn't get her baby to stop crying. Day and night it cried. She was here alone with it crying. Even in her dreams, when she got to sleep, she heard the baby crying. Some days she felt like killing herself so that she wouldn't leave her child at the hospital in a bassinet.
There was nobody to help. No grandparents… Well, there was Carlisle but he was busy working. Alice and Jasper lived too far away to babysit and Jessica had little monsters of her own. Edward had to work, and she understood that, but she wished he'd help with the baby.
Bella warmed up the pumped breast milk in the bottle warmer. Nessie cried relentlessly so this moment was no different. Bella found herself sobbing. Sobbing because her ears were ringing, sobbing because she hadn't slept in months. She missed her mother. It'd been two years since Renée and Charlie died in the car accident and she wished her mother was there to give her advice and comfort her. Maybe even tell her how to put this restless, groaning child to sleep. She wished her father was there to cheer her up. Nobody could like him. Mostly she wanted to not feel so damn alone in all of this. She and Edward had promised to share the responsibilities but he wasn't. He was rarely even home. Something about needing to be the first one at work and the last one to leave. She didn't really care. She needed him and she'd told him so. His response was always the same. "Somebody's gotta pay for this house." This house…well, that's certainly all it was. A house.
