Well, my people! I'm sorry for not updating sooner... No reason this time, just being my lazy self! Okay, my birthday was on Thursday and I celebrating! I'm 20 now! And I got the Fullmetal Alchemist pocket watch and pendant and a folding dagger; it looks like a dragon claw! They're awesome! As for this Tuesday, I was buying the new Evanescence CD, The Open Door! It is awesome! People, you have to get it!

Anywho, back to the FiFi!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor any of the songs that appear on this chapter. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling or whoever wrote them and performed them. OKAY!

Two Romeos and a Juliet

by: K.L. Bloodfang

Chapter 7: Hogwarts Idol

Dumbledore paced back and forth in his office. He had been doing this for nearly six hours straight. And why had he been doing this for so long? Simple: he was BORED! He wanted some excitement at the school; he couldn't take it anymore. Problem was, he couldn't think of a way to make things more exciting.

Then something clicked and a light bulb appeared over his head. It quickly turned off though; muggle objects don't work inside Hogwarts grounds you know. Anywho... He called both Prof. Snape and Prof. McGonagall to his office, hoping the three of them could come up with something fun. Minutes later, both feuding professors where sitting inside the old man's office.

"Something the matter, Albus?", asked Minerva.

"No! Everything is peachy peach!", answered Dumbledore, as he was about to eat a lemon drop. Snape took if out of his hands before he had the pleasure though.

"Sorry, professor, but I think you have had too many happy candies today. Now, if there is nothing wrong, why the hell did you called us here for!", said Snape, eating the happy candy himself.

"OH YEAH! I'm bored! Think of something entertaining! I want something to happen at this school. Something that the students can participate in and, in turn, entertain me as well!", said the old man twirling around.

McGonagall and Snape thought deeply at what the professor had asked them. Something the students could participate in and at the same time entertain him. They thought and thought and thought, and still nothing. Until suddenly, too lit candles appeared over their heads. Dumbledore look at the candles and pouted. 'How come I only get stupid light bulbs and not candles?'

"I got it! A talent show!", said Minerva.

"Better yet, a singing contest! That should keep us entertained for a while! What do you think, Albus," said Snape. Dumbledore smiled and nodded really, really fast.

"Alright men! To the Great Hall!", the senile, old man yelled.

The three of them ran to the Great Hall and burst through the doors, scaring the hell out of the students. All the kids look at them in bewilderment for all of them had ear-to-ear smiles in their faces. SCARY!

"I have great news, my duckies! Hogwarts shall have a singing contest this Sunday! Anyone that wants can participate! The winner will receive a kiss from Harry Potter! Also he will also be judging and picking the winner," said Dumbledore smiling. The students roared in excitement, all swearing they would win the kiss. Harry just looked confused.

"Professor, how come I have to judge and kiss the winner?", asked Harry.

"Simple, we voted and you lost," answered Albus grinning. Harry nodded and smiled again.

Both Draco and Hermione couldn't believe their luck. A singing contest and the winner got a kiss from the man of their dreams! It was perfect! They had to win the contest. So, to assure it, they got their best friends to perform as well! Blaise was more than happy to sing in front of people again; it was Ron the one that was skeptical, but a good threat by the bushy-haired girl made him agree.

Sunday!

The contest day had arrived and everyone was excited. A giant stage was erected in the middle of the Quidditch field. Those that weren't performing stood on the stands cheering and screaming for their friends to win. Harry sat on a red and gold throne at the side of the stage, where he could see and hear the performance the best. Then, Dumbledore appeared on the stage, wearing a blue tuxedo with little golden stars on it. (Talk about fashion sense)

"Welcome everyone, to the first ever, Hogwarts Idol! Today is a very exciting day, where many hope to win the kiss from the most wanted bachelor in the whole Wizarding World! Anywho, lets get right into it, shall we? Our first performer is a very handsome young man, also very wanted at Hogwarts. Please put your hands together for the Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy!"

The school roared in applause. Soon, a light appeared in the middle of the stage. Draco wore a green, silk button shirt and tight, black leather pants. His hair has loose and kinda wet. In other words, he looked yummylicious! Behind him, stood Blaise, who wore the same outfit as Draco, except his shirt was silver. Soon music started playing and the boys began singing.

Blaise: Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

Draco: I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete

Blaise: Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am
swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby my baby it's written on your
face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

Draco: I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete

Blaise and Draco: I don't meant to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete
Incomplete

Once again, the crowd roared and applauded. Their performance was amazing! Harry stood up and gave them a standing ovation.

"That was amazing, you two! Incredibly sung! An amazing start to this contest", said Judge Harry. The boys got off stage and Dumbledore walked in again.

"Incredible performance! It will be a bit hard to top, but our next performer will surely do her best! Her brilliant mind is only challenged by her grace and beauty; please welcome, Hermione Granger." Another roar from the crowd and the light turned off.

In the middle of the stage was Hermione, wearing a pink bra and low-jeans. Her hair was straight and she had Crookshanks on her shoulders. Around her were Parvarti, Lavender, Ginny and another girl that looked a lot like Ginny, except a bit older. They all wore tight jeans and short shirts. 'Its time for all of our training with Dreema-sensei to show its fruit! We're doing this for you, Dreema-sensei!', thought Hermione. Then, the music started playing and Hermione singing:

Hermione: I know I may be young, but I've got feelings too.
And I need to do what I feel like doing.
So let me go and just listen.

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl.
Well did you ever think it be okay for me to step into this world.

Always saying little girl don't step into the club.
Well I'm just tryin' to find out why cause dancing's what I love.

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)(Do you like it)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)(This feels good)

I know I may come off quiet, I may come off shy.
But I feel like talking, feel like dancing when I see this guy.

What's practical is logical. What the hell, who cares?
All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there.

I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it.

Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,
(Are you ready)
Leaving behind my name, my age.
(Lets go)

(Like that)
(You like it)
(Now watch me)

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
Panting

I really wanna dance, tonight with you.
(I just can't help myself)
I really wanna do what you want me to.
(I just feel I let myself go)

I really wanna dance, tonight with you.
(Wanna see you move)
I really wanna do what you want me to.
(Uh Uh Uh)

Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,
(I just wanna dance next to you)
To another time and place.
Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,
(Are you ready)
Leaving behind my name, my age.

I'm a slave for you. (Take that) I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)
I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it. (Baby)

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
Panting

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)
Panting

I'm a slave for you. (Here we go now)
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave for you. (Here we go) I won't deny it, (Yeah)
I'm not trying to hide it.

(Like that)

Again the crowed cheered wildly at the sexy performance by the Gryffindore girls. Harry stood again and applauded as hard as he had with Draco's performance.

"Wow! That was amazing girls! And also, very brave and kind of you, Ron, to help Hermione with her performance like this! Well done, Ron!" Yep, the Ginny look-a-like was Ron. Can you even picture him dancing like Britney and keep a straight face? Anywho...

"Another great performance! Way to go, Gryffindore! Now is time for our staff to show what it can do! This next performer is better know as that greasy-haired, crooked-nosed Slytherin villain. Please welcome, our own Potions Master, Severus Snape, to the stage!"

The students just stood with their jaw-dropped in shock. Snape was going to sing? In the middle of the stage stood Snape, wearing a black cloak and he had a microphone in his hands. Yep, he was going to sing. Alongside him where Lucius Malfoy, and Crabbed and Goyle Sr., also wearing black cloaks. Now, everyone was scared.

"You all know me as eternally-stick-up-my-ass Snape, but that is about to change! I will show you, the true me. HIT IT!" Music began playing, and the four men shed their cloaks to reveal, to the horror of the whole school, pink, lacy robes. Then Snape began singing, with a wide smile on his face.

Severus
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Boys
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

Severus
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

Boys

La la la la . . .

Severus
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

Boys
La la la la . . .

Severus
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

Boys
What mirror where?

Severus
Who can that attractive girl be?

Boys
Which? What? Where? Whom?

Severus
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

Boys
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

The entire school was in shock at having watched their most feared professor prance around in pink, lacy robes. Harry applauded with tears in his eyes.

"That was amazing professor! Very inspiring performance. I bet we can all learn from you!" Then he and Snape hugged.

"That was...weird. Anyways! On to our next singer. She is a very wonderful woman, kind and caring. She maybe strict, but she is a great teacher. Give a hands of applause to Minerva McGonagall!"

The students clapped, hoping that their dear professor wasn't wearing anything pink. And she wasn't! She wore a red and gold wedding dress! She laid on the ground of the stage, microphone in hand. (Now, people, picture Madonna's performance of this song on the MTV's VMA's.)

I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you

I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine

Gonna give you all my love, boy
My fear is fading fast
Been saving it all for you
'Cause only love can last

You're so fine and you're mine
Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
Oh your love thawed out
Yeah, your love thawed out
What was scared and cold

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
With your heartbeat
Next to mine

Oooh, oooh, oooh

You're so fine and you're mine
I'll be yours 'till the end of time
'Cause you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
I've nothing to hide

Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
With your heartbeat
Next to mine

Like a virgin, ooh, ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
Can't you hear my heart beat
For the very first time?

Again, the students were shock-struck. Many even fainted! Even Harry didn't knew what to say. Dumbledore walked out again, this time with bits of toilet paper inside his nose. "AMAZING, MINNY! Simply amazing! Anyways, on to our next performer. You all know him as our lovable, resident werewolf. Kind, caring and also naughty when the time is right, please give a hand of applause to Remus Lupin!"

Those that had shaken off the previous image of Minny rolling on the ground clapped enthusiastically. Surely Remus was saner than those other two, right? Wrong! Remus walked out wearing a black dress, knee-high black boots and lots of black eyeshadow and mascara and purple lipstick. (Don't ask, I had a dream last night where we was dressed like this and was singing this song, so it must be done). He then began singing, in a very sad tone.

Stay low
soft, dark, and dreamless
far beneath my nightmares and loneliness
I hate me
for breathing without you
I don't want to feel anymore for you

grieving for you
I'm not grieving for you
nothing real love can't undo
and though I may have lost my way
all paths lead straight to you

I long to be like you
lie cold in the ground like you

Halo
blinding wall between us
melt away and leave us alone again
humming, haunted somewhere out there
I believe our love can see us through in death

I long to be like you
lie cold in the ground like you
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you

You're not alone
no matter what they told you you're not alone
I'll be right beside you forevermore

I long to be like you, sis
lie cold in the ground like you did
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you
and as we lay in silent bliss
I know you remember me
I long to be like you
lie cold in the ground like you
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you

By the end of the song, the entire school was in tears. Everyone felt so sad. Remus cried uncontrollably on the ground asking why he had been taken away. Then a voice spoke.

"But Remus! I'm not dead!"

To be Continued!

That's the first part of the talent show. It is WAY too long to write on one chapter! Anyways, can anyone guess all the songs in here? Remus' will be the hardest! More crack songs next chapter!

Please read and review!