Cas ran through the woods until he broke through the tree line into a clearing. He was running from more than what he perceived as Dean's betrayal. Cas was running from Jimmy Novak and his confusing, hormone driven desire for boys and something that felt like a foundationless love for Dean Winchester. Cas questioned how he could feel so strongly for someone after knowing them for only a snippet of time.
When he reached the middle of the clearing the boy tripped and fell into a deep indentation in the earth that was grown over with meadow grasses, milkweed and cold hardy wildflowers. He laid there trying to get his bearings after the wind was knocked out of him.
He looked up just as a streak of light shot through the sky. It went dark as it hit the ground leaving a small crater. A glow began and grew in intensity until Cas had to shield his eyes. Terrified, he flattened himself to the ground hidden by the thick brush.
He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed, "Please God, don't let me get murdered. I need to tell Dean how I feel and kiss him and if all that goes ok I'll ask him to go steady. Also my mom needs me around or she'll end up marrying that creepy orchard guy. Also God, please don't let me get raped. Dean is the only guy I want and I want to do him but I'd let him do me maybe and then it would be ruined…Amen…this is James Castiel Novak by the way…sorry, Amen again."
Gabriel looked down at the petite boy curled up in the fetal position with his eyes shut and he thought how fitting that was. The angel scooped the boy up in his arms, "Open your eyes." Gentle fingers touched the teen's lids, lips and smooth back his bangs.
"Jimmy I won't hurt you I promise. Just listen." He felt lips lightly touch his ear and a low, soothing murmur began. It wouldn't have made sense to anyone except him. The murmur came not as words but angelspeak.
"You were chosen to keep a special being safe. In a way he is as innocent and childlike as you are but make no mistake; this being is a Warrior of God. He may not be the highest ranking angel but he is very important. The Winchester brothers are also special; it's not an accident you were brought together."
Jimmy, still refusing to open his eyes, heard soft laughter. "You can look at me; this isn't Raiders of the Lost Ark. I promise your eyes won't melt."
Jimmy found humor in that despite the frightening circumstances. He recalled trying to melt Brent's face with his stare like in Raiders but nothing happened. He peeked through his fingers and there was Gabriel smirking at him, "Gabe?"
The angel set the teen on his feet, "Surprise it's me. I'm here as sort of a guidance counselor. Jimmy, go ahead and embrace all your strange dreams, they guide you on the right path. Have faith, keep that old time religion and it will serve you well as an adult when Castiel comes to visit you again and takes over this handsome vessel of yours. Also, I'm not that creepy and I'm not going to marry your mom. Still she could do worse, I 'm a pretty good catch."
Jimmy swayed on his feet; his breathing was too quick and his blue eyes were as big as saucers. Gabriel felt for the kid, his life had been one confusing mess and it would get worse before it got better.
Worried he would go into shock, Gabriel kissed his forehead and Jimmy collapsed into the angels arms. He laid him in the grass expecting the Winchester boy to show up any minute. "Sorry kiddo, you won't remember this but the good feeling will be there if you need it even if the memory is just out of reach. I hope it's some sort of comfort for the troubling times ahead."
The angel pressed his hand to the boy's chest; he closed his eyes and tilted his head toward Heaven. A pair of massive, feathered golden wings slowly stretched out from his back. Gabriel enjoyed showing off even without an audience.
He raised his hands in the air over the supine figure in the grass, "For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
He looked down at the peaceful boy, "Your hero is coming Jimmy, I have to go. Be well Castiel and goodbye." The angel vanished leaving one large golden feather as something the boy and then the man Jimmy Novak could hold onto when he needed his faith the most.
…
Dean had his pocket flashlight with him, something a fifteen year old boy wouldn't think to carry around but then Dean wasn't an average teenager. A Hunter was always prepared, John had taught him that.
He followed the trail of broken branches and trampled brush until he stepped into the clearing, "Cas…Cas come out I know you're here. You left a trail a toddler could follow."
He walked the path of the trampled weeds to the center of the meadow and tripped, falling into the indentation left in the ground. He landed next to his friend who was still out cold. Dean shook him, "Cas, talk to me." He took a hand and felt how cold Cas' fingers were.
Dean went into caretaker mode, something he was very good at. He took off his coat and put it on Cas then pressed against him for body heat.
The young Hunter ran his hands over his friends face especially the nose and ears warming them up. He tucked Cas' face in the crook of his neck, "Don't worry, Sammy is coming with your mom. If they don't I'll drag you out of here myself."
…
Angie left Sam at home, he protested being left behind when his buddy Cas and brother were out in the woods somewhere but she didn't want him in danger. She had enough to worry about. The Hunter knew right where her son would run to, the huge state park boarding the school ground. She also knew right where he would end up.
…..
Dean pressed the button on his watch, "I'll give her a few more minutes, then I'll have to get you out but it will be slow going unless you wake up." He bent his head to look at Cas whose eyes were still closed. Dean could see the pretty sweep of dark lashes against his skin and thought how serene he looked.
He felt brave to say what he was feeling since Cas couldn't hear him. "You got me all turned around and I don't know what to do Cas. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, you mean a lot to me."
Cas' eyes fluttered open and at first he was staring up at a sea of stars above him. The next thing he saw was Dean smiling down at him. Dean hugged Cas so tight the teen was gasping for air.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm cold but I feel alright…Dean, did you say something to me? I could tell in my mind you were talking but I didn't understand. I was lost, floating through starlight and it was so beautiful."
Cas reached up and threaded his fingers through Dean's hair, he took his thumbs and gently circled the shell of his heroes ears stopping at the lobes, "I wish you could have been there with me Dean."
Dean hugged him tight again, "If anything happened to you I'd go crazy I swear it."
….
Angie pushed her way through the woods until she hit the edge of the clearing but there was a barrier. It almost looked like a soap bubble, iridescent but impenetrable. It was an honor to see the clearing at all, for everyone else it was invisible and didn't show up on an aerial map of the park. Technically the place didn't exist.
She touched the shifting colors and rested her forehead against it, "Please let me get my boy," she started to cry when it didn't budge, "Please…Jimmy is all I have, I love him, he's my son."
…
An angel appeared at the tree line and began watching the boys interact. This angel wasn't allowed inside but that didn't mean he couldn't destroy the moment. He picked up a thick, dry branch and cracked it in half making a loud, disturbing noise.
Dean lifted his head and let go, dropping Cas flat on his back, "What was that?" He pulled out a wicked hunting knife and shined the flashlight around the tree line but the angel was already gone. The moment was ruined and the young Hunters wall went up again.
….
The barrier vanished for Angie, she stepped out of the tree line and called for them, "Cas, Dean, I'm here. Where are you?"
Dean yelled, "Over here."
Cas knelt back down and felt around in the grass, "Something is here." He plucked the huge golden feather from the crushed wildflowers and tucked it in the jacket he was wearing. It was so long it almost poked out the top.
Curious, Dean asked what it was.
He clutched his jacket a bit possessively, "I'll show you sometime, not now. I need to think."
Dean figured it was just Cas being weird or had something to do with his fall, "Whatever Cas, keep your secret."
….
The drive back was a quiet one. Cas insisted on sitting in back with Dean, he held Deans hand tightly whether his friend liked it or not. Dean didn't protest, he figured it was pointless given the state of mind that Cas was in.
Angie glanced at the pair in the mirror then back to the road, her son had his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean looked worried and Cas looked scared. Something happened in the clearing and it seemed to make things worse instead of better. She hoped it was temporary but with Jimmy it was hard to say.
…..
Cas slid down into the hot bathwater and dunked his head then sat up again. The chill was finally leaving his bones. He remembered why he ran in the first place and tried to block it out again. It crushed him just thinking about Dean dancing with Christy Duiwel.
He decided to get started forgetting all about Dean. A dollop of shower gel and a few strokes later had Cas on his way to a good orgasm. He closed his eyes and tried to think of actors that he thought were attractive.
Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt came to mind, they were starring in the new movie about sexy vampires and he fell in love with the characters just from the trailer he saw on TV.
Cas pictured himself in a vampire sandwich, nude on top of Brad as they made out while Tom played with Cas from behind. Cas never pictured himself as taking it up the butt but for Tom he would make an exception. "Mmm…Lestat be careful I'm a virgin. Oh Louie you are sooo beautiful, maybe I'll put my…"
A knock came at the door, "Cas, are you ok in there?"
His blue eyes opened, he was disappointed to see he was just in the bathroom at home. The fantasy was ruined. "What do you want Dean?"
"Nothing, you were pretty out of it so I wanted to be sure that you didn't drown or something."
"I didn't drown."
Dean stood outside the door feeling kind of stupid, "Oh, good. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
After he heard footsteps leaving, Cas pulled the drain plug. He sat there hugging his legs watching the water go down. He was mad at himself, all it took was Dean showing concern and he was hooked again.
…
Sam came running with his friend Gus. Dean looked the other kid over, Gus was a cutie with spiky hair and big brown eyes covered by thick Clark Kent style glasses. He had target written all over him but Dean saw the diamond in the rough and figured in a couple years when Gus hit a growth spurt he would be a real looker.
Sam draped an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders and smiled from ear to ear, "Dean I'm going to sleep over at Gus' house."
"You didn't ask Angie."
"I called her from the school payphone."
"You don't have clean underwear."
"Who needs underwear?"
Dean couldn't argue with that logic because he thought underwear were stupid, "Ok, go have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
The pair walked off together with Sam's arm still slung around the other boys shoulder. Dean wondered how Sam was confident enough to show affection for a boy in public. He envied his little brother for that.
Cas ran up behind him and slapped Dean on the ass, "Sorry I'm late."
Dean took two steps back from the boy that had no clue about personal space, "Damn it Cas, don't ever slap my ass again."
He took a step forward just to bug Dean, "You mean just in public right, can I slap it in private?" For just a moment Cas looked like a horny predator, and Dean felt a shiver of excitement run through him.
"What is wrong with you man? Your being all bold and crap and I don't like it, now back the hell off."
Brent and Terrence walked by dressed for football practice. Brent catcalled, "Nice ass slap Novak, you better keep your boyfriend on a leash because he's getting pussy this weekend." The nasty laughter carried on the crisp autumn air hitting them both like an emotional hammer.
Dean yelled, "Jealous because no one wants your big, ugly ass? I get more pussy than a veterinarian, so screw you." Actually at fifteen years old, Dean had never gotten pussy before but Brent didn't know that so he felt pretty confident yelling it.
Brent started walking backward to shout his next insult, "Don't you mean cock you fairy?" Brent tripped on his own cleats and fell on his big, ugly ass.
Cas meanwhile was lost in a brief fantasy, "I could see Dean on a leash, down on all fours with his bubble butt stuck in the air. I'd do things to it, I'm not exactly sure what but it would be pretty hot. I know my penis would be involved, I'd…"
Dean smacked his arm, "Cas, I said come on. The bus is going to leave."
…..
Dean sat in the back; he had staked out the very last seat on the left hand side as his territory. His sixteenth birthday was January 24th and he told Angie that he wanted a road test as soon as possible because Dean couldn't stand riding the bus. Of course he wanted to show off the Impala. Dean also wanted to explore Angel Falls and all its little secrets but he needed a license to do that. There was no way Angie would let him drive without it.
He couldn't wait to bring Sam and Cas as his Hunters in training to poke around where they didn't belong. Winchesters knew when a place was off and Dean had that feeling. Angel Falls was strange, he couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly but it was worth investigating.
…
Cas got off the bus first and waited for Dean, on the way up the gravel drive he reached out and touched the back of the young Hunters neck and Dean shrugged him off, "Stop touching me!" He ran into the house slamming the door in Cas' face.
Instead of going inside he went to the workshop and found his mother reloading spent cartridges, she looked up and smiled at him, "Well this is a surprise, did you come for a lesson?"
"No, I just wanted to talk." He sat on the stool next to her and watched Angie for a bit. "Mom when I was in that clearing I felt like I had been there before a long time ago but I don't think I ever have. Am I going crazy? Sometimes I really think I am you know, I hear things, have weird dreams and I feel like there are two people inside of me, Cas and Jimmy. Maybe I have a split personality."
She stopped what she was doing and lifted her goggles, "I think you had a bout of déjà vu. The feeling you've been somewhere before, meant someone or completed an action exactly as you had in the past. It doesn't make you crazy honey, everyone has that happen, it's quite normal. As for feeling like two people, you're fifteen and your hormones are pulling you in every direction. God, when I was your age I was either laughing, crying or pissed off about something. I blamed in on my period."
Cas wrinkled his nose, "Gross, I don't want to hear about my mom's period."
"The point is, being a teenager is the most confusing time ever. You're not a little kid with a simple life and not an independent adult. You just have to hang in there because it gets better."
Cas lowered his eyes and began picking at the threads around a hole in his jeans, "Dean is going to that dance tomorrow night. Mom I hate it, you know I like him right? I can tell you that because you know what I am."
"I know you like boys, any feelings about girls?"
He shrugged, "I don't know, they are pretty and smell good but that's about it. I'd rather have a boy that's pretty and Dean is prettier than any girl in school that's for sure."
She laughed, "Honey don't tell Dean that, I don't thing pretty is what he's going for although between you and me, I agree, Dean is very pretty."
Cas loved having a confidant he could share his feelings with even if it was his mother, "It's his big green eyes and thick lashes and his lips!"
She slipped her goggles back on, "Ok settle down, he's going to that dance and he's either going to love it or hate it. I don't see him loving it but I could be wrong. You should be prepared for that, he might end up with a girlfriend out of this. I just don't want you to be hurt."
"I'm already hurt he's going."
…..
Dean did a spin and held out his arms, "How do I look?" He was dressed in a new chambray oxford Angie got him and a pair of jeans without holes in them. He had a fresh haircut and when he smiled Deans pearly whites were extra pearly.
Cas was slumped on the couch with his arms crossed sitting next to his mother. He sniffed the air and made a sour face, "What did you do, take an Old Spice bath?"
"Shut up Cas."
Angie got up and began fussing with Dean's collar and he secretly liked the motherly attention. "Dean you will the handsomest guy there. What time is she picking you up?"
Dean checked his watch, "Any minute."
….
The doorbell rang and Cas immediately went to answer it shoving Dean out of the way. There was Christy in a pink, cupcake confection of a dress. She frowned when she saw who it was, "Where's Dean?"
Cas yelled, "Dean your date is here, she looks like a wedding cake exploded all over her." He smiled sweetly at Christy, "FYI, Dean has diarrhea." He turned and left feeling slightly satisfied.
…
He watched from the roof hidden by the darkness as Dean opened the driver's side door for her, "Look at that human female with her ugly dress, she stinks of Loves Baby Soft…cheap harlot." Cas wondered why he referred to her as a human female instead of just a girl.
Angie stuck her head out the window, "Stop spying and come watch "Touched by an Angel" with me. I made popcorn."
Cas turned, his eyes were glowing brightly in his anger and jealousy but he wasn't aware of it. Angie was so taken off guard she hit her head on the window and then stumbled back into the room.
Cas crawled back inside and stood there with his head cocked and a confused look on his face, "What's wrong?"
She clutched her chest trying to catch her breath for the shock. After she gained her composure she took him by the hand, "Never mind, come downstairs. Everything is fine."
….
Cas tossed popcorn at the screen, "This is garbage, I don't believe angels are like this at all. I feel like I need insulin just watching her overly sweet, hammy acting. Angels would be warriors not afraid to do what needs to be done for the greater good."
Angie was saved by the telephone interrupting her son's bad mood, she answered and John Winchester was on the other end. They chatted a few minutes and when she hung up Cas asked what he wanted.
"John is going to stop over on his way through next week, his partner took off and he's going to meet up with some other Hunters. He wants to see Sam and Dean, spend the night and get a good meal I guess."
Cas switched gears and now seemed worried, "John makes me nervous, I don't think he's very nice to Dean. I feel sorry for them; I'd rather have no father at all than one I was afraid of. I have a feeling like something is wrong." He grabbed his mother's hand and begged her, "Please don't tell Dean I said that. He's really defensive about his dad and he'd never admit if something was happening. Dean is a very proud guy."
"I won't say anything to Dean but I better not find out that John is hurting him or there will be hell to pay."
…..
Dean watched the scenery whip by the window on their way to the dance, it didn't feel right being there with her but Christy looked pretty and he wanted to give the date a fair shot. Dean knew he'd have one of the best looking girls there. He thought about the day Cas was looking at the poster for the Homecoming dance and asked Dean if he had ever gone to one before. He wondered if Cas was trying to ask him on a date.
"Guys dancing with guys, yeah that would go over like a ton of bricks. Well if it doesn't work out with her I can always go home and dance with Cas...he's a good dancer. Damn it, get out of my head Cas!."
TBC
What Gabriel said was from Corinthians 4:17-18
For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
