Big Island in the Sky
Chapter Seven
CharliesHoodie
-Mini Flashback!-
"What is this, a family heirloom?" Hurley taunted.
"Hurley! I'm serious! Give it back!"
"Did your mummy give you this?" Hurley said in a high-pitched voice, dangling the ring in front of Charlie. Charlie reached for it and Hurley pulled it above his head, out of his reach.
Jack walked by and looked at them curiously.
"Is everything ok, you guys?"
"No! Hurley won't give me my ring!" Charlie yelled.
Hurley shook his head. "Jack, we're fine."
"All right," Jack said, smiling and walking off.
Charlie's mouth dropped open. "Am I sodding invisible?!"
"Practically," Hurley chuckled. "How tall are you? Four eleven?"
Charlie's face turned bright red and he clenched his fists at his sides. "I'm FIVE SEVEN."
Hurley shrugged. "Same thing. It'd be different if you were a chick."
"SHUT UP."
"Hey man, sorry…you know I love you."
"Well, you're FAT."
Hurley's mouth dropped open slightly. "Hey, I just told you that I loved you…"
"And you're still fat."
"And I still have your ring. And you're still four eleven."
Charlie bristled with anger. "Give me my ring!"
"Aw. Charlie wants his ring…what're you going to do, give it to your son or something?" Hurley continued on, laughing. He slipped the ring on his own finger. "It looks better on me."
"HURLEY."
Hurley sighed. "Fine, fine…" He was beginning to feel a little bad now. Maybe it was a family heirloom. He went to slip the ring off his finger.
It was stuck.
Hurley looked over at Charlie's shocked and angry face.
"…Oh no," Hurley muttered.
--
The pilot was tied to a swivel chair. He looked extremely upset.
"That wouldn't have happened if YOU hadn't crashed the plane!" Charlie exclaimed. "My ring wouldn't still have Hurley's skin on it! You know how traumatizing that will be for Aaron when he wears it?!"
The pilot closed his eyes tightly and leaned back in the chair. "How is this my fault again?"
"You crashed the plane."
"Are you kidding me?!" the pilot exclaimed. "You're blaming me for a fat guy putting on your ring of size negative two?"
"I'm not that SMALL," Charlie exclaimed, kicking the wheels on the swivel chair threateningly. The pilot didn't even flinch.
"…Maybe we should be more upset about the plane crashing…?" Shannon offered. "And like, not have him tied up?"
"I couldn't agree more," the pilot growled.
"Aw, Shannon, I thought being tied up turned you on…" Nikki smirked. "Whore."
"…What'd I do to you?" Shannon asked. "And you're the slut! Sleeping with old men! Like, ew!"
"Uh, sleeping with your brother! Like, double ew!"
Charlie stared. "I really missed something? Why are you guys fighting?"
"Like, O-M-G, I don't think they, like, know," Boone said in a fake Valley Girl voice. He hoped it would make people laugh.
No one laughed.
No one thinks Boone is funny. To them, he'll always be the lifeguard that can't swim. And the lifeguard that couldn't perform CPR. Basically, the lifeguard that failed at life.
Boone recalled the first day they crashed, where every chance of him being respected was ruined.
-Mini Flashback!-
He needed a pen.
But he couldn't just stop with one pen (the doctor only needed one, after all). No, he needed MANY pens.
As he walked away from Jack, he reached in his pocket. Hah! He already had one!
He glanced back at Jack and the unconscious lady. Hey, she could wait.
Boone darted off and spotted a man lying on the ground, groaning in pain. Boone stood over him and squinted, resting his hands on his knees.
"DO YOU HAVE A PEN?!" he screamed over the loud engines. A part of the plane was hovering above them, crackling and ready to break off.
"NO!!" the man screamed back, looking up at the piece of wreckage, alarmed.
"YES YOU DO!!" Boone screamed. "YOU WERE SITTING NEXT TO ME AND YOU WERE WRITING SOMETHING DOWN IN A NOTEBOOK."
The man blinked up at him. "I'M MISSING A LEG."
"GIVE ME YOUR PEN!!"
"I DON'T HAVE A PEN!!"
"THE LID WAS DARK BLUE AND THE PEN PART WAS WHITE AND IT HAD 'OFFICE MAX' WRITTEN ON IT!!!!" Boone shrieked, scrunching up his face angrily.
"STOP THE BLEEDING!" the man pleaded. "AND PULL ME AWAY FROM THE WRECKAGE."
"NOT UNTIL YOU GVIE ME A PEN."
When the man only continued to groan and yell, Boone got bored and left.
Hours later, he returned to Jack, about five or so pens in his hand. He had taken these off dead bodies.
Jack took all the pens from him and took off the cap of each one, drawing a little line on his palm and staring at it, discontent.
"This is blue ink."
"…Ok…"
"I wanted green ink," Jack said, his eyes biting into Boone angrily.
"You never said-"
"Have you EVER had a doctor that writes his prescriptions in green ink?"
"No, I-"
"Exactly."
Jack gave him a nasty look and walked on.
--
Boone shuddered slightly at the memory and glared at the pilot. "You bastard."
The pilot groaned. "Why? Why are you doing this?"
Charlie took things into his own hands and slapped the pilot across the face.
The pilot hardly blinked. He stared up at Charlie.
"Hey, can you not do that? It's kind of annoying."
"…It didn't hurt?"
"No."
"…Oh."
"You know what we should do…" Eko said, excited. "Spin him around."
"That's stupid," Charlie said crossly.
"No, it'll make him sick!" Eko explained.
The pilot recoiled slightly, but as Eko went for his chair, he quickly said:
"I don't get sick."
Eko blinked. "How do you not get sick?"
"Only people who don't get sick can be pilots," the pilot explained. "Because if you get sick, you can't fly a plane…"
"…Oh…" Eko said, downcast. "Never mind…"
Everyone stared at the pilot, unsure of what to do with him. But Mikhail was always up for making people suffer.
"We should drown him."
Charlie stared. "That's actually not so fun…"
"You can't DIE here," the pilot pointed out.
"Yes, but we could still throw your chair in the ocean…" Mikhail said, now off in his own little world – a world that basically consisted of people that looked like Charlie. Drowning.
"But we need to make some adjustments first," Mikhail said.
--
"This is a little creepy…" Charlie whispered to Boone. He and the rest of the group were standing back a little, watching as Mikhail stood in front of the pilot, proudly grinning.
"See, look at him now," Mikhail said, presenting the pilot. He was wearing jeans, a DriveSHAFT t-shirt, a bright purple hoodie (Mikhail couldn't find a black one), checkered black and white vans, and his hair was dyed a dirty blonde.
Charlie sighed heavily. Mikhail looked overjoyed.
Charlie was about to ask why Mikhail didn't just throw him into the ocean but Mikhail cut him off.
"Are you guys ready?!" he asked, excited.
"You weren't even on the plane…" Paulo observed. "What've you got against this guy?"
"Uh, name one thing Mikhail doesn't have against the entire race of Homo sapiens," Charlie grunted.
Paulo considered this. "Yeah. You're right."
The group wheeled the pilot down in his swivel chair to the dock and out on the edge. The pilot was in a panic now.
"You guys are insane! You aren't really going to do this! There's no way!"
Charlie shrugged. "It's not like you're going to die. You're lucky."
"All right," Mikhail said. "In you go."
The pilot rolled his eyes as Mikhail pushed his chair forward and it rolled off the side of the dock. The chair twisted slightly, causing the pilot to hit his head against the edge of the wooden dock before sinking in the water.
Shannon cringed and Mikhail grinned.
"…You know that didn't kill him, right?" Boone asked.
Mikhail glared. "Shut up."
"Just saying…because that seems like your favorite past time. Killing things."
Charlie was staring down in the water. Then his eyes slightly widened and he backed away from the edge. "I'm, uh, gonna go back to the beach…"
"What's wrong?" Shannon asked.
Charlie looked at the water nervously and then up at Shannon. "NOTHING. What makes you think something's wrong?!" he ran off the dock and back onto the beach.
"…Ok," Shannon shrugged.
"Multiple personalities," Mikhail concluded.
-LOST-
A/N: I hope that was funny for you guys! I don't know when to end this story. I'm thinking of just keeping it open so when I'm in the mood to write comedy I can, and just do it on my own time without the pressure to finish a story. Right now, I'm working on a more serious story that actually has an outline and chapters set. So I might just keep this one open and add more chapters when I feel like being funny. There's not really a set ending for this story anyway. So it can continue on and on and on…haha. Next chapter we'll probably see Mr. Ethan Rom and Goodwin will probably show up eventually.
Myfanwy 14: You're right. No one likes Ana Lucia except the occasional random freak who actually thinks she's a human being. (Although I will admit I felt sorry for her right before she died.) Maybe I'm not just much of a Tailie person, because I've been excluding Libby as well. I'll have to get them back involved, because I actually do like Libby a lot. And I probably will add in Goodwin. He would be easy to make fun of.
Live Fast Die Never: I'm happy you think my Author Notes are funny. I try! And your Sims thing…sounds a lot like Lost. People die, they cry a bit, and then it's like "What? Someone died? I could've SWORN I saw Boone walking around on the beach the other day!" And, since it's Lost, they probably DID see Boone walking around, standing in the surf, pointing at things creepily, giving me nightmares…it's almost pointless to kill people off, on Lost and the Sims alike. Because no one cares. Oh, and the mopey Charlie thing…that's ok. I moped too. A lot. I was like a bipolar girl with PMS that entire time. But I've gotten over it by writing this story and realizing the Big Island in the Sky is waaaay cooler than the Big Island in the Middle of the Pacific…aka NOWHERE. You know they were almost going to name the show 'Nowhere'? How lame would that be? Instead of 'LOST' coming up in the big bold white letters with the creepy music, it would be 'Nowhere.' And you know how they include the word 'lost' in EVERYTHING the characters say? Instead of them saying 'At that time in my life I was lost' it would be 'At that time in my life I was NOWEHRE.' That would be confusing.
Imzadi: Yes, they do get television on the Big Island in the Sky. And I've never watched Heroes so I have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry! Apollo Bars? DRIVESHAFT RECORD?! Yay. You're my hero!
FebruarySong: Yaaaaay shiny award! I'm getting lots of gifts today. And you're right about Mikhail. In the show, I highly doubt he's dead. He'll probably show up to Desmond and then Desmond will make him suffer. He'll chop off all his limbs and leave him to bleed to death, and then one day he'll just see Mikhail rolling down the beach with no arms and no legs, biting people's ankles or something. I hate Mikhail…why can't Charlie be that invincible? Charlie DID survive being hung. That was good. But I cured my Mikhail-hate by including him in this story and hanging out with Charlie. On my imaginary Island, they're totally BFFs. And about everyone being hot…it's outrageous. Especially Kate. "Ohh I'm Kate and I'm a fugitive! I can't decide on who to love. Jack, Sawyer, or the short guy with glasses. Or the other guy with glasses. Or the short guy without glasses. Boo hoo! Did I mention my mug shot picture is gorgeous?" Mug shot pictures are never pretty!
Missing Whisper: Yeah, everyone thought Tom was the gay character because of what he said to Kate. Maybe his type isn't crazy-chick-with-a-six-pack that could probably take him down with a flick of her wrist. Kate is scary. Yeah, uh, DAIRE SUCKS. I don't understand it either! Every time people come within eight inches from each other on the Island it's like "OH! OH! CLAIRE LOOKED AT LOCKE!! We shall call them 'Coke.'" It's like…is that the drug you were doing when you decided to give them a ship name? Please.
Falafel-fiction: Legendary? Pshhht. What happened to your story?! The one I'm hopelessly addicted to but can't remember the name of it…when Charlie doesn't know who Claire is? Where is that next chapter?! It has the very affect of Lost itself. You're killing me with the wait.
For some reason there was no penname on this review, but you mentioned you wanted You All Everybody on your iPod and that you don't like Daire: No idea who you are. For some reason there's no penname on the review…that's strange. But yes, if you have Limewire (and you kidnap music like me) you can download You All Everybody from there for free! I'm encouraging you to steal. Ahg.
Moonhowler15: Oh boy. I've had a Sims addiction to. And it was not good. I think I've gotten over it, though. I think. I freaking loved that game. And I'm guilty of making Charlie and Claire and putting them in a house together. Haha.
Whats.her.bucket: Haha thanks for the compliment! I try!
Spice of life: Yeah, Harry Potter was surprisingly good despite the fact I was SO confused. I don't think I'll ever read the books or watch the other movies, but for some reason my friends decided to force someone who had no clue about anything Harry Potter to go see the fifth movie…? It didn't make sense to me either.
Alix Zin: Oh, another Sims junkie. That's ok. Who DOESN'T play the Sims? And yes. Driving School almost made me shoot myself, which I think I could've achieved without a gun. It was that bad. Four hours. Six classes. That explains itself.
Xox-emily-xox: Whoa. That's scary…you're worse than I am when I kill my Sims. I never think of BURNING them. Wow. I don't even think Mikhail would think of that! Or maybe he would, considering he's a jerk andihatehimandihopeifhe'snotdeadsomeoneshootshiminthehead. Anyway!
SassyLostie: Yeah, I actually did start to listen to You All Everybody the other day. I put my songs on shuffle and it was the first one so I kinda danced a little to awesome guitar intro and listened to the first few 'verses' (which is: You All Everybody. You All Everybody. Acting Like You're Stupid People Wearing Expensive Clothes……….You All Everybody. You All Everybody…) That's the whole song. That's the chorus, the bridge, EVERYTHING. So after about five seconds I was like "Oh man. This is dorky." And started listening to The Beatles and pretending that NEVER happened.
Jemmz: Oh boy. I think you're like, the FIFTH reviewer who admitted to killing Sims. So you're not alone. I'm guilty of it too. They need to have a support group for it. It seems to be a chronic problem…not like the Sims' families even care of anything.
