Zeitgeist
Chapter 7- Talk With The Totem
The driver took off his sunglasses and peered at the entrance of Loonyland the moment he parked and stepped out of his TransAm. He had felt what he would call a presence near the gate as he drove by just a few moments ago, though he wasn't quite sure what it was. In the best possible situation, he hoped that he might have sensed it, but thought better of it. His line of work was rarely that simple, and this would probably be no exception. He could sense this place...this Loonyland...was a place of power, and his quarry would use this fact to its advantage.
The man in the sunglasses sneered.
All this time on this world he had quite enjoyed the feeling manipulating the invisible ways where the slightest nudge of thought, memory, or feeling could hold sway over any man. He played this game better than anyone, because he was the only one who knew the rules.
Such was not the case here, and it irritated him greatly.
He took a look at the compass he had removed from his dashboard, a deceptively cheap looking small black ball with white letters floating in liquid not unlike other compasses on the road. The only difference being the liquid holding the ball was the color of blood. The letter N bobbed to and fro, pointing toward the general direction of Loonyland, though not as directly as the man in shades would have liked. Putting the compass back in his pants pocket, the man pulled out a what looked to be a handful of office cards and started to shuffle through them impatiently. Picking one, the man put the rest back into his pocket and placed the card between his hands. Closing his eyes, he hummed a barely audible mumble. He opened his eyes and inspected the card again. Satisfied, the Man with No Eyes put the card into a separate pocket from the rest, and walked up to the entrance of Loonyland.
Waiting in line at the ticket counter, the man in shades studied his surroundings. The bright colors, the jolly recorded music, the sugary smell...the cheery atmosphere seemed to mock him and he could feel a rage building up in him. But now was not the time to get impatient, for he was too close to his goal, and it was wise for him to pay attention to protocol. Even him. Even here.
"Hello! Welcome to Loonyland! How many tickets, please?" said the bubbly young girl in the ticket booth.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the man in shades, with a smile that, to the ticket booth girl, seemed to crawl upon his face. "I'm not here to buy a ticket. I was wondering if you had a supervisor or a general manager or proprietor I could talk to?"
"Um...is there a problem, sir?" said the attendant.
"No, not at all. I am a dealer in...rare merchandise. Antiques and the like, you understand. I was curious if your supervisor would know of any memorabilia that he would be interested in selling."
"Uh...yeah," said the girl dumbfounded. She gestured to her left. "Well, there's a gift shop over there just past the big Loony statue, sir."
"Haaa..." heard the girl through the man's smile, though it to her it sounded more like a growl. "Is there someone I could talk to? Please," said the the man in shades bemusedly.
"Umm...okay. Lessee..." babbled the confused girl. "Could you please step out of line and wait over to the left, sir?" she asked as she picked up a phone in the ticket booth.
"Of course," the man replied.
The girl talked on the phone briefly and hung up. "Someone will be out shortly, sir," she told him as she started to sell more tickets to her line of customers.
As he waited, he pondered his plan. Memorabilia. As good as a place to start as any, the man in shades thought. Items considered precious, yet hidden and unused. It would be logical, but would he be right?
"Hello!" said a cheery voice coming from a portly man in a bright red suit that reached out to shake the shaded man's hand from behind a park guardrail. "I am Mr. Leonard, General Manager of the park. Tracy tells me that you were interested in buying some...antiques?" asked the cheery man confusingly.
"Memorabilia. Yes," said the the man in shades. "You see, I represent... a party that has an interest in amusement park memorabilia. Old posters, playbills, advertisements...things of that nature."
"Oh, I see. Oh my. How curious," said Mr. Leonard, as things became more clear to him.
"Yes. And I was wondering if you would have any items that would fit that description."
"Hmmm...Did we make an appointment with you today, Mr...?" coaxed Mr. Leonard.
"Guile," the man responded as he handed Mr. Leonard his "business card". "You may call me Mr. Guile. No, no appointment. I was driving upstate for an auction when I happened to notice your advertisements along the highway and...always keeping my eyes out for a rare find...I thought I would stop in and see if I could pique your interest."
"Uhhh...right," Mr. Leonard said, sounding a bit torn.
"Understand that my benefactor will pay most generously for such items," hinted Mr. Guile.
"Well, we do have a few things on site...hanging in and around the offices. You would have to talk about purchasing them from the owners of the park, however. And I'm sure they would have a much better selection for you..."
"Oh, I understand completely. I was just hoping to take a peak at a sample..."explained Mr. Guile.
"Is there any way we could set up an appointment? As you can see, we're very busy, this being opening day and all. Perhaps we can call the owners for a formal presentation?"
Mr. Guile knew where this was leading and his jaw tightened. He reached up to adjust his sunglasses; letting his eyes peer over the frames. His eyes appeared to shiver with a low red glow. "I am quite pressed for time, Mr. Leonard," said Mr. Guile in a low steady tone. "I would have to see what you have immediately." He adjusted his glasses to hide his eyes again. "If you please," he said with finality.
Mr. Leonard, for reasons unknown to him, felt a sudden need to help this man. He reasoned that the park's affairs would take care of themselves for a while. His eyes brightened as he smiled warmly in a welcoming gesture. "Oh, why not?" guffawed Mr. Leonard. "Would you like to come this way?"
Mr. Guile paused slightly, oddly glancing around in all directions for a brief moment. "Only if you invite me," he said in a droll tone.
"Well, c'mon in then! Welcome to Loonyland!"
A wide smile crept across the man's face, showing his immaculate, bright white teeth. "Thank you, Mr. Leonard. Thank you," Mr. Guile said, mouthing his words as if there were drops of venom seeping from his mouth.
Mr. Leonard, inexplicably, shuddered.
Kevin slowed as he closed to about 20 paces from the bridge that unofficially separated Loonyland from its newer cousin, FantasyLand. The determination that he felt just a few minutes before seemed to leave him as he got closer. He stopped and took a breath as he stared to the right of him to see the Dungeons and Dragons ride in full operation. From this distance, he could make out Reggie guiding fairgoers onto the ride, the coasters taking off, and the dragonhead lighting up. All in perfectly normal fashion.
He would go over there, he would ride that stupid ride, and that would be THAT! And would prove once and for all that all the weird experiences...all the weird feelings that he had felt were all in his head. It was what he was telling himself.
He didn't believe it.
What he did believe was if he crossed the bridge, somehow this strange fixation about riding the ride would be too strong to overcome. Crossing the bridge meant entering another place that grabbed a hold of you. Another realm.
Realm? The word struck Kevin with the sense of odd trepidation. He remembered Mr. Leonard saying something about it. At the same time, Kevin replayed what Josef had said in his head over and over.
"One amusement park with two themes. A dreadful mistake."
"Couldn't agree with you more, Josef," he said, allowing himself a small chuckle. Still, he had noticed that he was feeling slightly light headed, and was sweating again.
"Ooooowalawalawala!" Kevin heard coming from his left. He turned abruptly in surprise, only to relax as he recognized the sight in front of him.
Standing by him, wildly flapping its hands (which were supposed to be wings if one was picky about such things) was Loony, the park's mascot. The large bird suit the poor employee was wearing had a red vest and polka dot bowtie, modeled after the park's uniforms. The oversize head had a large beak and eyeballs that had pupils bouncing around comically in different directions.
Loony goofily trotted around Kevin, as if trying to mock Kevin's rather depressing mood. Kevin, feigning ignorance, finally gave in. "How's it goin', Loony?" Kevin asked with a weak smile.
"Ooooowalawalawala!" replied the mascot.
"Hey, that sounded pretty good," Kevin commented. Leaning forward, Kevin whispered to the side of Loony's head. "Is that you in there, Jamie?" Kevin asked quietly.
"Nope. Guess again," replied the mascot in a cartoony yuck yuck voice. The voice was very good, Kevin thought. Exactly like the silly radio and TV ads he's seen.
"Benny?" Kevin asked, thinking of another employee.
"Nope nope nope...you're getting colder, buckaroo!"
Kevin was stumped on who it could be, and there was something else. The voice seemed to come out clear, instead of muffled like a voice should be when spoken from inside a big stuffed Loony head.
"Wanna guess again? I think you should! Ooooowalawalawala!"
It was then that Kevin noticed Loony's beak...it was moving up and down in sync with the voice. The mascot was somehow actually speaking through its beak!
"How're you doing that?" Kevin asked, studying the mascot's features.
"Me? Oh wowee wow. I got news for you Kevywevy. I'm not doing it...you are!"
Kevin paused for a moment, thinking Loony was telling a lame joke. "I don't get it. What's that supposed..."
"So here we are! Two little birdies! One loon and one chicken! Bok bok!"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, if you're going to hop on the Dungeons and Dragons ride, you might wanna get goin'!"
Kevin was so shocked by this last comment his mouth was agape and had a hard time getting words out. Finally, he sputtered, "What did you say?"
"Yep yep yep...now would be a good time to get a move on. Big black clouds a comin'...don't wanna get caught in the rain. Ooowalawalawala!"
Kevin felt the mascot's breath on his face coming out of its mouth; smelling like fish and cotton candy. He saw the mascot's eyes, darting andalert. Lifelike.
"Y-you...you're real." Kevin croaked.
"Real enough," deadpanned the mascot.
"Who are you?" Kevin asked with a hint of anger. "What are you? How did you know I was going on that ride?"
The mascot sighed, sounding like a man gargling mouthwash. "Y'know, did you ever think maybe your life would be a lot easier if you just stopped asking questions and just go with the flow?" the mascot yucked in an impatient tone.
"I don't believe this!" Kevin belted.
"Yeah, I know. That's part of the problem," said "Loony."
"You're a cartoon character!" Kevin yelled.
"Tell me about it!" replied the mascot. "A flaming bird, a giant wolf...heck, even a talking frog I can understand...but this?" Loony seemed to check himself out, his hands, his clothes, like someone trying on clothes for the very first time.
Kevin glanced around at the other fairgoers walking by as the strange apparition talked. The patrons never took a second look at Kevin or "Loony." It was then that Kevin fully realized he was getting that weird sickly feeling again as the world seemed to blur and slow down. Everything seemed to grow quiet to Kevin's ears. Except for Loony.
"And what's with this silly bowtie? I tell ya...!" Loony ranted.
"Are you doing this to me? Are you the one making me feel dizzy?" Kevin asked desperately.
"Oh, golly. You people can be thick as a brick sometimes. Weren't you listening? I'm not doing anything...you are!"
"Me?"
"Well...okay, with a little help. I mean, this is all pretty new to you. That's why you feel so icky. I told ya...you should relax, ride it out. You'll feel better."
"Who's helping me?" asked Kevin, showing his disdain for the term.
"Eh, more of a what, actually." The teenager noticed Loony's big marble like eyes peered down at the flyer still in Kevin's had.
"This? This...piece of litter is doing this?" Kevin asked.
"It's kinda complicated. Let's just say it's adding gas to your engine, if you know what I mean," answered the mascot.
"How can this piece of...?"
"Listen kiddo," Loony interrupted, "I don't wanna be a spoilsport or anything but we really don't have time for twenty questions. C'mon! Shake your tail feathers! That ride's a waitin!"
"So? Why do you want me to go on it?" asked a frustrated Kevin.
"To give you answers to all those annoying questions that are filling your head, trust me on that Kevy. Just trying to buck you up, kid. After you cross that bridge, I can't help you."
"Why?"
Loony let out one of its sigh-gargles again. "Walking across that bridge makes you feel like going through someone else's underwear drawer, am I right? Ooooowalawalawala!'
"It...it never did before," Kevin said haltingly.
"But the ride was never there before, and you can sense what it's doing. You're in touch with this place, kiddo. It's all you," Loony said, in what would pass as a serious tone coming from it's cartoony voice.
"It is?" Kevin asked, a confused smile crossing his face.
"You ever really wonder why you've always felt so at home here in the park? You're in sync with it, always have been. Of course, that never really meant much, until now."
"That's..that's..." Kevin stuttered.
"Ptttthh! Alright! You want me to prove it to you?" the mascot asked.
Kevin nodded awkwardly.
"Relax, kiddo. Relax, close your eyes, and tell me the first image that pops in that confused little head of yours."
Kevin looked at Loony doubtingly.
"C'monnnn...you can trust this bird," goaded Loony.
Kevin snickered but closed his eyes and relaxed anyway. At first, he felt just silly, but as he breathed in and out, he could feel a ringing in his ears and his mind's eye being guided in a way he could not understand. For a brief time, his senses, oh so subtly, seemed to spread out. Sound,scent, and sight, all jumbled together, like Kevin was trying to vainly listen to every conversation set in the entire park of Loonyland.
But then, a single image came into focus and a scene played out in Kevin's mind. Kevin grimaced.
"I see...there's a frog...wearing a big ying-yang medallion," Kevin said.
"Uh huh," the mascot blurted.
"Wait! No! It's a man, wearing frog head. Or...good grief! It is his head! It's a man with a giant frog head!"
"Hehe...go on," replied Loony.
"He's standing in water and he's talking to someone. He's clutching the medallion...he seems upset with it. He's...wearing armor, for crying out loud!"
"Hah! Okay, you can open your eyes now."
Kevin opened his eyes and snapped his head like he had been woken up from a trance. He looked at Loony in disbelief. "What just happened?" Kevin asked.
"Just feeling those good vibrations, kiddo. Getting a feel of what's going on in the park, just like you always have, only bigger!" Loony spread its arms in a bold gesture.
"Going on? I just saw some yellow knight with a head of a frog! How can I be 'in touch' with that!"
At that moment, Kevin could almost see Loony make out a sly 'I-have-a secret' smile from its cartoony birdlike features.
"Now," Loony leaned forward to talk softly in Kevin's ear. "Look behind you."
