"Did you ever notice. I've been ashamed, all my life. I've been playing games. We can try to hide it. It's all the same. I've been losing you, one day at a time. Bleeding, I'm bleeding. My cold little heart. Oh I, I can't stand myself"
Michael Kiwanuka (Cold Little Heart)
The ride on the jet couldn't have been more awkward. Since Achelois had to ensure Loki's whereabouts were going to keep being a mystery from the Mad Titan, she had to focus solely on her spell and magic in order for it to last more around her and him rather than around a specific place (that being the area where her Temple is located). What was left was to stare at each other, dreading what was about to come, or hope for the outcome of all of this. Once they arrived, Loki offered his wrists to Steve, who stared up at the God of Mischief astounded. The god in question shrugged.
"Whatever makes them feel safer around me…And that it seems as you all have this under control" Loki explained, he smirked at Clint's glare "Which you do have in control" Natasha's lips curved upwards for a second before she monotonously said:
"Don't push it"
"I can't help it" Loki said innocently, prompting his older brother and Bruce to laugh.
Achelois exhaled deeply before opening her crimson eyes, she nodded at her friend who eyed her preoccupied whether she was feeling drained from conjuring such powerful spell. The Moon Goddess made her way next to Thor, both would walk side by side to Loki, in case anyone attempted to attack or kill him. The group proceeded, leaving the vehicle a strong gust of frigid wind hit their faces, the loud sound of jet engines and men shouting orders. Loki let out a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly. The cold didn't bother him, it actually soothed him, he tried to keep his emotions in check. As he opened his emerald green eyes, he was met with the sight of glares and astonishment. He turned to his right, his brother gazed frontwards bravely, holding his hammer tightly as if anyone who dared trespass the limit imposed by the group would find themselves hit across their faces with the weapon. To his left, his best friend, Achelois allowed her eyes to explore their surroundings, her pose demonstrated determination and rigidness. For a brief moment she turned to him, and smiled when found his eyes already trained on her. Loki offered a small smile, before both nodded at Tony and Steve who were in front of them.
"Alright, I guess it's time" Tony said, motioning for the Avengers to enter the base.
As they were nearing to Fury's office, the man met them halfway, glaring at Loki and Achelois. The goddess considered returning the hostile greeting, but decided against it. Whether people are annoyed by it or skeptical, she is peaceful foremost than violent, so she nodded softly. The leader raised an eyebrow, inquisitively.
"I take it he was with this woman?" Fury questioned, entering the meeting room to the left. The group followed cautiously. Achelois sought Natasha, the unfamiliarity with the place made it too hard to trust the man even for a bit. The spy nodded, analyzing every wall, every camera, every corner. Fury stopped in front of a heavy iron wall, opening slightly.
"This is the interrogation room. There are seven guards in there, ready to kill you should anything go awry"
"Um…Actually Fury, we need to discuss some matters with you" Bruce said, as respectfully as he could "About the theories me and Tony gathered before we left-"
"I'll listen after he is properly handled" Fury said, fully opening the door. The room was poorly illuminated, and the guards were about Steve and Thor's size, all holding massive guns pointed to the sole metal chair in the chamber. Loki bit his lip, before stepping forward.
"Brother, you don't have to" Thor whispered.
"What can they do to me that I already haven't gone through, Thor?" Loki asked, grimacing at his sibling "We need to be careful how we handle all of-"
"Restrain the woman as well" Fury interrupted the hushed conversation, forcing the brothers to glare at the man before them. Achelois stepped back once, frowning at the guards that entered the room behind them.
"It's not necessary to arrest her as well" Steve protested, raising a hand towards the men who were about to touch the sorceress "Son, step back from her" For a minute the guard hesitated, along with the other two. Fury shook his head, annoyed.
"You don't work for Captain, you work for me" He said with a final tone "Take her to the interrogation room from the west wing, away from here. They might be plotting"
"Okay, first of all, if they were plotting you think we would be stupid enough to keep them together?" Tony intervened, trying his best to keep his cool "I'm pretty sure you noticed there are two geniuses, a top soldier, and the best spies in the world in this team you put together. Plus, a god, someone who lived longer with Loki, and longer than all of us. We know our shit, okay? Leave Eve out of this"
"Inspiring, Stark" Fury commented "But we have to be a hundred percent sure of this, a day of research isn't enough to gather all there is about her, or him" The leader gestured to the guards. Two of them grabbed Achelois' arms, while the other was about to place a muzzle on her lips. The goddess cursed in Portuguese, before kicking the man in front of her on his crotch. This settle chaos throughout the room. The seven guards that were in the interrogation room came to aid, the Avengers all attempted to solve the problem without violence, but when punches and kicks were thrown, along with guns aimed at them, there was no discussion. Loki tried to stay close to Achelois among all of the fight. She punched a man to the side as he was about to shoot her friend, but as he was falling he was able to throw a knife on her shoulder, her whimper echoed in Loki's ear. He tried to keep it peaceful, but seeing his friend getting hurt couldn't pass by idly. He broke free from the weak shackles, he shouted:
"That's enough!"
The room stopped. When Bruce saw Achelois holding her shoulder he kneeled down close to her, asking if she needed help with anything regarding her potions. Natasha glared at the guard that stabbed the goddess, which made him cower behind his comrades. Loki frowned at Fury, his fists were green with magic. The man had the massive gun Agent Coulson had used on him trained to his head. The God of Mischief caught Clint's eyes, the Hawkeye shook his head, knowing Loki wasn't called Silver tongue for nothing. Loki tried to calm himself down, he saw that Bruce was helping his friend with her salve, the mixture already healing the bleeding wound.
"I'll be fine, love, don't worry" She said, accepting Bruce's hand to help her get up "A stab wound won't kill me" Achelois winked at him playfully. As much as he was happy she was okay, she still felt pain over nothing but a foolish quarrel.
"Look, I understand your apprehensiveness towards me. It is granted, there is no one denying that. However, if Eve wasn't a powerful being, if she was one of yours, she could've been seriously hurt" Loki said to Fury, who stared at him emotionless "If you had listened to what your team were about to say, they have information regarding me. But most importantly, they have the knowledge of a common enemy" Fury titled his head to the right.
"Common enemy? You're trying to blame someone else for your actions?" Loki rolled his eyes.
"Whether you wish to believe me or not, Thanos will come for your planet. And the many that will die might as well be the amount of your pride. I didn't want to kill all those Midgardians…I didn't want to destroy your planet. But I do want to help now. You just have to be aware that I am here, and I'll at least try to fix what Thanos made me destroy"
"And technically, I have a share of S.H.I.E.L.D. My father was one of the founders, my vote on the council may have more value than the ones from those cowards. Just need you to back us up on this, and they'll have to accept it" Tony helped Loki's argument. Fury seemed to consider the option, he stared at Achelois once again.
"Who is she? Your wife?" Both Loki and Achelois looked down, embarrassed. The Avengers smiled at their reactions.
"I am a longtime friend. Currently, I have a Temple in Brazil…" Achelois answered, allowing Fury to connect the dots.
"The magnetic field?" He asked intrigued.
"Our arrival from Asgard caused that, maybe the conjuncture of the transportation and the shield I had around the area might've released powerful unknown energy to your sensors"
"Are you like Thor and Loki?"
"Yes, I am a Moon Goddess. And a sorceress" The leader nodded, training his eyes on Loki once more.
"Keep him here the night" The group let out a disdainful sigh "Me and Stark will discuss the situation with the council, and when it's over you take him to the Stark Tower" That called their attention "However, until I can fully trust on him, I will demand constant vigilance. Hawkeye and Black Widow will be my eyes" Loki exhaled, relieved "Now, though, I need every intel you have on Thanos"
.-.-.
A night in the cell Fury had made him stay was nothing compared to where Thanos had him imprisoned. Loki made it out fine, a little shaken up, but fine nonetheless. As they were heading to the tower, he stared out the window of the helicopter. The damage he had inflicted on the town, and the people, he felt disgusted with himself. Thor patted his neck, breaking the self-destructing trance he was in.
"You're about to make it up for it, Little Brother" Thor said "You were not in control, you have to remind yourself that. You're not a monster, Loki. There are good parts about you, and what Thanos did was lock them away, no one would've done differently if their good parts had been discarded the way yours were. I guarantee you" Loki was surprised at his brother's display of wisdom.
"Thank you, Brother" Thor simply smiled.
Once they were all inside the Stark Tower – and Tony reassuring Pepper that Loki wasn't going to hurt them. The group was exhausted from the full last couple of days they had. Pepper was the one to show the new additions to the team their rooms, while she did not fully trust Loki, the conversation she had with Thor and Achelois had allowed her to rethink everything. The God of Mischief initially had no problem falling asleep, it was only in the middle of the night the night terrors consumed his shattered mind. The memory of betraying his people, of discovering his true heritage. In the end, what made him cry out loud was to relive letting go of Thor's hand. He wished he could go back in time and warn himself to overlook Odin's actions, to don't step on the darkness over what he cannot control. Loki woke up to heavy hands shaking him by his shoulders. The dark haired man jumped scared at the sudden touch.
"...Thor?" Loki whispered, cleaning the remaining tears falling from his eyes "Did I awake all the others?" Thor sat down on the bed, shaking his head.
"Don't worry about it, Brother. I don't think you disturbed their sleep" The room fell into a deep silence. Thor's gaze was set on his joined hands, his mouth curled in a frown "You...called for me. That's why I came" Loki looked up surprised at the revelation "If you don't mind me asking, Brother, what were you dreaming about?" Thor said, treading carefully as to what approach he could use to talk about Loki's feelings. His little brother seemed annoyed at first, but the sight of his big brother at least trying, it made him want to try as well. Loki remembered Achelois' words about how this is healthy, talking about unfinished business and interrupted feelings.
"It was about my betrayal" The big brother perked up at the fact that Loki was in fact sharing the dream with him "How I hated being lied to, and feeling as if that was the final blow to show how insignificant I was to Odin. The word "monster" repeating over and over in my head when I discovered I'm Jotun" Thor bit his tongue, not wanting to interrupt, but desperately wanting to reassure Loki that being a Jotun doesn't make him a monster "Yet, none of that hurts more than the moment I let go of your hand. The look Fa-Odin had in his eyes" Loki frowned sadly and enraged "Just filled with disappointment and hopelessness. He gave up on me, he didn't mind seeing me dying. In this dream, however, I did not want to let go, I screamed for you to pull me up…" He trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
"Brother, you can tell me. I won't be mad or sad" Thor noticed Loki couldn't meet his eyes.
"You didn't pull me up, you said it was a good riddance to the family and to Asgard, then you let go of my hand" Thor's eyes widened.
"Loki...I need you to know that there wasn't a day I didn't ponder about how I could've helped you. There wasn't a day I didn't remember how suffocatingly terrifying it was to watch you fall. I couldn't do anything to save you, and I…" Thor choked on his words, breaking into sobs as he hid his face from his little brother. Loki watched perplexed, he patted his big brother's shoulder hesitantly.
"Thor, there was nothing you could do" Loki bit his lip, closing his eyes tightly, not wanting to admit what he was about to say "I wanted it...Those were my actions, in the end the consequences came from that decision -my decision, no one else's" Thor grabbed his brother by the neck, pulling him to a tight hug. Loki let out a startled huff.
"I will never neglect you again, Loki. I'm terribly sorry for all of this, I should've-"
"Achelois says is never wise to ponder on what should have been" Loki interrupted, Thor pulled way eyeing his brother inquisitively "As hypocritical as it is having something of this nature coming out of my mouth, the past is the past. You can't let the guilt swallow you whole, Brother. Especially when I had my part of committing those hurtful mistakes, I also feel extremely guilty and ashamed, but never for one minute assume that my actions are your sins" Thor smiled at Loki.
"You're right, Loki. From this day forward, let's focus on what it can be, rather than attempt to change what it is already done" Loki assented "I am glad you are able to think more clearly now, Brother" The God of Mischief raised an eyebrow at the statement.
"I suppose so…" Truth was, he felt the pain of admitting his mistakes and confronting the complexity of his emotions, that was why he couldn't see the progress he made. The brother heard a soft knock on the door, followed by:
"Loki, Thor, may I come in?"
Thor smirked to Loki, who hit him with a pillow.
"Yes, Achelois" The door opened, revealing the woman in question. She smiled at the siblings, genuinely happy of seeing them together and close.
"Well, you two seem cozy" Both men straightened their backs, and didn't meet each other's eyes "I am glad you are getting along again"
"We are as well!" Thor answered enthusiastically, making Loki roll his eyes, and Achelois chuckle.
"I'm afraid I heard Loki scream, but it seems as though Thor had it under control" The sorceress smirked knowingly at her friend, who narrowed his eyes understanding what she had done.
"Yes, he did, in fact, helped me" Loki said "Thor, if you want to go back to bed-"
"I shall go, Brother. I'll leave you two to be" Thor teased, making his way to his chambers quickly. Loki groaned annoyed at his brother's antics.
"Is he trying to kill me?"
"That is his hidden power, the ultimate teasing his little brother endlessly ability" She said in jest, sitting close to him, much like Thor was "Are you really okay now, Loki?" Achelois asked, concerned.
"Don't worry, I'm okay" Loki assured "Thor actually cried more than me, but we talked about it and hopefully it won't be a problem again"
"That is great news! While I am sad he cried, I am glad he didn't try to hide how painful it is from you. Your bond used to be like this" Loki nodded, laying down once again.
"It surprised me, though, seeing him cry" Loki commented, playing with his blanket absentminded "I never thought I would be able to console him ever again" He motioned for his friend to lay as well. She followed his actions.
"I am so proud of you" Achelois whispered. Loki turned to her.
"Why would you be?"
"These are enormous steps you are taking, love. You haven't noticed, but you're proving to yourself that forgiveness can come to you. Even from your own self" She caressed his cheek lovingly "Have you thought of what you want to do yet?"
"About the destruction, you mean?" He asked ashamedly "I can't come up with anything without feeling as if I will simply worsen the situation" Loki held her hand between their bodies.
"How about me and you do what we used to in the old days?" Achelois offered, her crimson eyes twinkling with nostalgia "The good parts of the past can be revived, after all. We can help using our abilities to heal the injured, and fix the buildings. What do you think?"
Loki remembered the days they spent side by side helping others, the happiness they felt whenever a potion worked successfully and their patients would walk away perfectly healthy and thankful. The times he was kind to others, he wouldn't feel completely worthless or like a shadow. He met the sorceress' eyes, capturing the hope and determination, saving the little inspiration he gathered, turning into courage.
"Let's do it"
Author's note:
Hi y'all, long time no see once again. 2018s been a crazy year. I know it's a small chapter, but I really want to continue this story. I hope you all forgive me for the delay, I won't even waste your time explaining all that've been happening, just want you all to know I will try my best to post at least sooner than months apart!
Thank you for leaving a review Lily! I am so glad you're liking the story! Thank you to all the people that favorited and followed as well!
Have a good one, folks. Hopefully I will be back December, but if not: Merry Xmas and Happy New Years!
Jeonsa xoxo
