leader: Yeah, I realized the problem with Elliot's reaction when I reread the last chapter and tried to fix it in here, but failed miserably. Ah well, it'd be made up for in chapter 8, you'll see.
Chapter 6
When Casey woke up, she was in Olivia's arms. Oh my god. She jerked away, quickly sitting up, leaving Olivia staring at her for a second before sitting up as well. "Good morning. You were drunk and passed out."
"Liv, what- what on earth-"
"I thought I should try, to see if it would help." The ADA stopped mid-retort, watching her nervously with anxious eyes. "You didn't move or say anything. I think you didn't have the nightmare last night."
Casey blinked in surprise, her eyes widening as she hesitated, unsure of what to think. "I... thank you, Liv. That's probably the first time since..." Olivia nodded, not needing her to finish. "Thanks."
"It's not a problem. That's why I'm here... Casey- who is Danny?"
She stiffened at his name, her eyes turning cold as she jumped up and turned her back to Olivia. "How the hell did you find out his name? I told you not to look for him! I told you-"
"Casey, Casey, calm down, sweetie, calm down! You told me last night, honey- you were drunk, and you were talking, and then you just used Danny when you were talking about it."
Casey turned back to face her, looking at her nervously. "I... I what? I told you?" Olivia nodded in earnest, and Casey swore, slapping herself hard across the face and hissing through clenched teeth, "Damn it!" She made to slap herself again, but Olivia caught her hand and held it down.
"Casey! Stop it! What the hell are you doing?" The ADA pulled her hand free, this time punching herself in the stomach as she stormed out of the room. She managed to punch herself again before Olivia grabbed her and pinned her arms behind her back. "Hey! Hey, Casey, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I screwed up again, Liv, I'm only giving myself what I deserve, now let go of me!" She struggled to get away, but Olivia refused to let go, and Casey shouted, "Liv, I told you, let me go!"
"No! Not until you stop hurting yourself!" It was clear Casey was on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, but Olivia- "Damn it!" Casey kicked her in the shins then made a run for it; Olivia jumped forward and tackled her to the ground. "Casey, stop! Stop!"
It took over a minute for Casey's thrashing to turn to sobs and her pounding fists to turn to trembling hands. Olivia let go of her immediately and pulled her into a hug, letting the ADA lean her head against her shoulder, her body shaking as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'm s-sorry," she forced out between frantic breaths, pulling her knees up to her chest and tightening her hold on Olivia.
"Shh. Just breathe, Casey. Just breathe." The ADA looked like she was trying hard to concentrate on just that, but she simply couldn't catch her breath. "That's it, in and out, in and out- come on, with me." Casey tried to time her breaths with Olivia, and, gradually, she had calmed down enough to get slowly to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes. When it looked like she was close to normal, Olivia got up as well, watching her carefully.
After the incident at the courthouse several days ago, Casey's doctor had told Olivia several things she should watch out for that were results of the ADA's reaction to the sedative- self-harming was one of them. She was about to say this when Casey turned away in shame and shook her head before starting to talk.
"I'm sorry, Liv… That's just something I do now. Whenever I make a really stupid mistake or screw something up, I start hitting myself- I deserve it, so..."
Well, it was a good thing Olivia hadn't started talking first; then Casey probably wouldn't of admitted she'd been hurting herself for a while now... The more time that went by, the worse Casey seemed to be getting.
"No- no, Casey, you do not deserve it! Everyone makes mistakes! Why do you think that you should get hurt whenever you make a mistake?"
She shook her head, trying to find the right way to explain. "No, it's not like that... it's not mistakes like I forget to sign a form or something, it's whenever I do something really big, like let a rapist go free, or whenever I think I'm letting you guys see signs of my assault... Whenever something like that happens or if, instead of dealing with what happened, I just try to continue the denial- hitting myself either prompts a breakthrough or a breakdown. Either one helps me, or it's at least a change from what's normal now. It's just... I don't even know, Liv."
Olivia sighed, running a hand slowly along her cheek. "Casey, you have to stop this. Hurting yourself doesn't solve anything, and you certainly don't deserve it. Besides, Casey, you didn't make a mistake. Just because I know his first name doesn't mean anything."
"Liv, I don't want you to look for him. He... He'll..."
"Its okay, Casey, I won't- but just say the word and I'll arrest his ass and haul him into the precinct after beating him to hell and back. But, unless you want me to, I won't look for him. But you've gotta stop beating yourself up about this, okay? Well, no pun intended…"
They both chuckled humorlessly before Casey hesitated, then said uncertainly, "... okay."
"Morning, Detective. Don't take your coat off, you and Stabler have a rape victim down at Mercy General; name's Allison Crawford. Munch and Fin have already got the crime scene."
Olivia nodded at the captain and waited by the door for Elliot as Cragen headed to his office, knowing full well what the detective wanted to talk about and having no idea how to avoid it. "Hey, Liv."
She stiffened by how cold his voice was, surprised, then said, "Hey. Let's go." It was clear by the look in Elliot's eyes that he wanted to bring it up, but he wasn't sure how. By the time they made it to the squad car, he was driving her crazy with his useless small talk, which he only used as a distraction when he wanted to discuss something personal. "Damn it, just spit it out already, Elliot!"
He sighed, shaking his head. "That obvious, huh?" Olivia nodded, and he grimaced before explaining. "Fine. Frist of all, I know you promised Casey, but how the hell could you not tell me?"
"What the- El, I thought you forgave me for that yesterday!"
"I did- yesterday. But that was when I was still so shocked about Casey being raped- I was more concerned about her. But how could you just keep this a secret?"
Olivia groaned inwardly, silently berating herself for ever telling him in the first place. "Look, Elliot, I've only known for a couple of days, and my first reaction wasn't to go run and tell people, especially after I promised Casey I wouldn't. She doesn't want sympathy or pity, she just wants to get better, and for that-"
"I had a right to know!"
"A right? What right do you have to know?" she asked softly, even though she knew the answer. "You're not her boyfriend or husband; you're not related to her-"
"She's family all the same, Olivia! And I understand why Casey wouldn't come to any us in the beginning and why you were the one she eventually opened up to, but I'm your partner. You should of told me."
Olivia sighed, trying to get him to understand. "El, Casey asked me not to tell anyone, and that includes you. Now that you know what happened, I can tell you some things, like how she's doing, but the things she's told me are still private and I'm not going to betray her trust."
Elliot grimaced, shaking his head and keeping his eyes on the road. "Well is she any better?"
Olivia groaned and glanced at him, shaking her head. "Better? Please, she's the opposite of better." Elliot waited for her to elaborate, inching through Manhattan's morning traffic impatiently. "We talked last night. She was drunk, so she didn't think before she spoke, and told me that she's started blaming herself. And this morning, when I told her everything she'd said, she started trying to hurt herself. Apparently, that's been going on ever since the rape. I think I convinced her to stop, but... well, if thing's have gotten this bad in the time she's had to deal with this alone, I think we're lucky she came forward, even if only to me."
They spent the rest of the ride in silence, Elliot only speaking again when he had to ask the nurse where Crawford was. They both hesitated outside her room, steeling themselves, then went in.
Their victim was wide awake, with only a dark shadow on her jaw to show for the horror she'd been through. She was staring at the wall, but looked up at the detectives as they came in. "Um... hi. I'm Allison. Um, Allison Crawford. Are you those detectives the nurse called?" Neither Elliot or Olivia could answer. They just stared at her, shocked.
Their victim was a dead ringer for Casey Novak.
Her red hair was few shades darker than Casey's and was a few inches longer. Her eyes were slightly wider and just a hint lighter, but they were an almost identical green to Casey's. Her skin wasn't as pale, either, but it was close. Even sitting in bed they could tell she was tall and thin- just like Casey.
Everything was just like her.
"Uh... who are you?"
God, even the voice was like hers.
Elliot recovered first. "Oh, I'm sorry- I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner, Detective Benson. Would you mind telling us what happened?"
Allison looked between the two detectives uncertainly before starting her story. "It was my ex boyfriend… Danny Garcia. We've only been dating for a couple weeks," she said in a soft monotone. "I broke up with him, but when I went home, he was waiting for me. I don't even know how he got in, I could of sworn I locked the door, but…"
Shaking her head, Allison focused on the detectives and tried to see something else besides the images of the assault flashing through her head. "He told me that I was wrong. That we were meant to be together. That he would show me…"
Both Elliot and Olivia knew where she was going, but that wasn't what they were worried about.
Olivia hurried to her side, asking urgently, "Listen, Ms. Crawford, this is very important. I need to know two things: did he cut his initials into your skin, and when he was done, did he say anything?" She should have been a hell of a lot gentler with a rape victim, but right now, that wasn't important. She had to know, and she had to know now.
Allison stared at her in shock before managing a shocked nod and stammering, "He... he said that, when I was ready, I was supposed to call him. That's all he said before he left. But how did you know about the knife? I didn't tell anyone..."
Elliot and Olivia stared at each other, horrified, before the latter murmured, "I'm on it."
"Court is adjourned, we meet back tomorrow at eight am sharp." Casey sighed in relief, sitting back down in her chair and starting to gather all her files together when Olivia ran to her side.
"Casey! Casey, we have to talk."
"Olivia- what on earth are you doing here? I thought you had to work?"
Olivia just shook her head, grabbed Casey's briefcase and papers for her and walked off at a brisk pace so fast it was almost a run. "I have to talk to you in private now." Casey hurried after her as she went down the crowded hall, searching for an empty courtroom.
When she finally found one, Olivia pulled Casey inside then stood in front of the door, shutting the door and turning her fiery gaze on the bewildered ADA. "Olivia, what the hell is this all about?"
"Danny Garcia! That's his name, right?"
Casey stared in shock, then shouted, "I told you not to do this! I told you not to ever go looking for him! How dare you-"
"I didn't go looking for him, Casey, the only reason I found out his full name is because he raped somebody else! Someone who's tall, with red hair, green eyes, pale skin. Someone who's now has the initials D.G. in her skin. Someone who heard him hiss, 'Call me when you're ready.' He raped somebody else, Casey."
Casey froze, staring at Olivia, disbelief and fear in her eyes. "He... he what? He raped somebody else? No... no, he couldn't of... oh god. He raped somebody and I could have stopped this all by just telling you in the first place."
"No- no, Casey, no, don't think like that, this isn't your fault, come on-"
"Oh yes it is! Brooklyn SVU asked me five times if he raped me, and every time I lied and said no! And now, because of that, another woman was raped. How the hell could I be so stupid?"
Olivia quickly tried to comfort her, grabbing her hand and saying, "Case, you're not stupid, you were scared and ashamed, you didn't do anything wrong- come on, don't be like that-"
"I'm pressing charges. I don't care about justice for me; I have to help this other one no matter how much it hurts because everything she's gonna go through is all my damn fault."
She blinked, then hesitantly approached the ADA and asked softly, "Casey, are you sure? You don't have to. We can get him on Crawford's case alone, we don't need you to-"
"I'm doing this, Liv. I have to... I'll be at the precinct in an hour. Don't tell anyone what happened. I... I don't want to, but it should come from me." She turned abruptly and rushed out of the room, leaving Olivia staring after her, utterly confused and stunned.
Coming up next: Casey puts herself in danger and Garcia is arrested. Feedback please.
