Anya rocked Carina in the cradle her father had sent to her from her home on the planet and while she felt much stronger physically, her heart ached and yet felt more alive than ever with the realization that she was now a mother to this magnificent being. Under recommendations from Beverly she had accepted a cabin for a few days so she could be monitored for her post-delivery care. Anya was very aware that the doctor had provided the space for them for more than that singular reason, but the thought of returning back to the colony at the moment didn't appeal to her. Kyle would be in every corner of that house… Anya felt her throat constrict and her breathing became shallow and she took a deep shuddering breath. A beep at the door alerted her to a visitor.

"Please come in!" Anya called out and the door opened and Deanna walked in.

"Counselor Troi! I would say that I was surprised to see you, but really I'm not." Anya greeted and the two women hugged in a comfortable way. "I don't suspect that you're here for a refresher in astrophysics are you?" Anya asked to start the conversation.

Deanna smiled and looked seriously into Anya's eyes. Deanna had sought Anya out while she studied for her senior bridge tests to help her figure out her gain a stronger understanding of astrophysics, and although Deanna held skills in so many areas, she had been been hopeless, but Anya had worked her hardest and Deanna had managed to get through.

"I don't find I need it all that much, but I do remember some of it." Deanna admitted and with Anya's nod welcomed Deanna to come and look in on the baby.

"She's beautiful." Deanna sighed as she saw the perfect child resting quietly.

"Yes, she's gorgeous. So wanted, and waited for." Deanna looked at the child and felt nothing but calmness from her. Anya on the other hand was very guarded, and Deanna wasn't surprised at all. Anya had always managed to control her emotions when she was on edge.

"You aren't here to see Carina are you?"

"No, you've been through a lot… I just wanted to make sure you getting the support you need."

"I don't even know what support I do need." Anya shared.

"Well, what do you think you need?" Deanna asked as she sat down on the couch so she was able to see both the sleeping baby and the distressed mother.

"I don't know…" Anya started. "I feel all jumbly inside, not one emotion is stronger than the other they are all strong... I just can't seem to even figure out what I should be feeling. I have so much sadness, and so much happiness at Carina. I miss Kyle horribly, I have lost some of my students, and other community members that their places in my life will be empty without them. Although most of my family and the crew here on the Enterprise are all trying to be helpful. I shouldn't feel lonely, but I do…" Anya sighed and looked out the window at the stars. "I forgot at how calming these stars are too. Now that I have returned to the Enterprise, the longing I have to return to this life has returned as well. Yet, I know I'm needed at home."

"You chose to return home after you met Kyle didn't you?"

"Kyle wanted to live on a planet. He had never been given that opportunity growing up. Returning back to my own colony made the most sense since we were needed as teachers and Kyle's musical talents would be encouraged and befitted. Now with Kyle gone, I'm not sure if I would be needed as much, science isn't as important, plus we have interesting thoughts on motherhood and not working..." Anya sighed.

"You wouldn't be teaching with Carina now?" Deanna asked. She understood that in the past mothers stayed home and nurtured their children and didn't work until they were older, but a lot of those philosophies had changed over the years, and shifts and working habits had changed to help parents work as well as be there for their children, it was part of the reason Starfleet had built the Enterprise the way they did.

"I'd be encouraged to remain home for at least a year and be there for Carina. Before Kyle… It wasn't such a bad thought. I was going to work on my research and finish my publications while I stayed home and Kyle continued to teach. Now… I could still do that… Yet the house we have is filled with memories of Kyle..." Anya looked back to Deanna her eyes finally filled with tears that had remained locked up for days. "I just miss him so much already… I don't know if could live in a place that would remind me of everything that I've lost!" Anya sat quickly down onto the chair near her and buried her face in her hands and started to sob. Deanna was relieved that she had cracked while she was still with her. Deanna moved to be closer to her and held her while she mourned the loss of her husband. A few hours later, Anya still very fragile but less unstable said goodbye to Deanna and turned back to looking after her newborn.

"Come in!" Anya was still sitting with the tea she had made cold in her hands when the door rang again. She was pleased to see Geordie and Duncan as well was with him.

"Why I wasn't expecting to see both of you today!" Anya welcomed.

"Commander LaForge has been very accommodating with me today Ms. Thatcher. He's given me a tour of several areas on the ship and looked over my application for Starfleet. He has also given me a few pointers to make is stand out with the admissions department." Duncan paused for a minute before continuing. "I was hoping that maybe you could tell me your story."

"I suppose you deserve it…" Anya went and encouraged them to sit down.

"So, you and Commander LaForge met on Earth?" Duncan asked.

"Well, yes…" Anya started. "Duncan, you don't know this because it wasn't all the important to many people on the planet. The reason I know Geordie so well is that I am a Starfleet Officer." Anya shared.

"I'm confused. You've been teaching since you came home. Your parents always said that you were doing research on Earth before you came home."

"Well I was on Earth for several years studying and then I applied to Starfleet and was accepted. When I finished all my training on Earth I took a position on a science vessel called the USS Drake... When the Drake was damaged during a mission, I was transferred to a Star base where I continued to work until my next assignment. Which was to the Enterprise. I worked with all these people that you've met over the past few days. I worked in the Astrophysics Lab, the Botany Lab, and was even assigned to engineering on several occasions." Anya shared.

"Then why did you come home?"

"I met Kyle..." Anya shared. "He was trying his hand at teaching here on the Enterprise actually when we first met. It wasn't quite his thing, but we had met by that time and fallen in love. Then when the elders sent out a request for teachers on Bruderholf, Kyle and I talked it over and decided to return together and teach."

"Yet you were happy here on the Enterprise?" Duncan asked with surprise.

"Yes, I was." Anya admitted. "Yet, I was very happy with Kyle and starting our lives together on Bruderholf was very appealing as well.

"So when you said that you had resources, and new when the last person to apply to Starfleet you weren't kidding because it was you."

"Yes, I have been the only one so far that I know for sure. A few others have tried, but they dropped out or started to pursue other things. Although I'm very sure that this choice you are making is a good one, and I believe that you will be very successful." Anya encouraged.

"I am too..." Duncan agreed and Anya smiled sadly. "What are you going to do now?"**

"You my insightful friend, have just asked the questions of the day." Anya sighed again.

"Are you thinking of coming back?" Geordie asked as he finally put the pieces together.

"I have an appointment with Captain Picard tomorrow morning." Anya nodded.

"What about the Bruderholf? You'd leave just like that?" Duncan asked.

"I wouldn't be teaching for a year Duncan, you know the rules. I've been thinking that maybe I will spend my leave here on the Enterprise, and see how things go. I have to talk with some people first so please this is all to be kept quiet." Anya reminded and Duncan nodded.

"I will keep it quiet until you are ready to share it publicly." Duncan shared and Anya smiled with appreciation.