I don't like doing things that hurt other people, but sometimes that has to happen in my job.

I don't like being taken away from my friends or the feeling that passes through me when a bullet hits the flesh of a human.

I especially don't like the feeling of lonelyness that goes through my body when that person drops to the floor and doesn't get up.

It makes you feel like a monster, even if the feeling is only felt for a split second.

I never want to be able to count those seconds up and feel like a monster for more than a minute.

Because I would go insane.

I can't decide if my love or my job comes first because they are mixed.

I know I can't but I want to at least try to protect those that I care about.

It hurts so badly when I know somebody was hurt and I could have prevented that.

The world is not mine to hold in my hands and I know I am acting like that when I try to save everybody that I can.

But my friends make sure I know it was not my fault, even though some of the time I feel like it.

My friends and my coworkers are great. They are, for the most part, level-headed and there for me.

I love most of the un-bloody parts of my job and I wouldn't ever quit.

I think about the horrifying parts of work and it sends chills down my spine.

The wars, the deaths, the blood, the skill; everything it takes to scare a person is right under my nose; clear as day.

Just because I've had some pretty nasty pictures in my head doesn't mean I can't be a girl and dream about things.

I have wishes, too.

Would you be the strong person I need? Would you still listen to my day and have the courage to smile and tell me it's alright? Would you be able to grab my gun even if it was stained with blood and pull the trigger if I were in danger?

Would you protect me like I would protect you?

I am a woman that doesn't sit and wait for the fair to come to me. I go to the fair and bring everything with me.

I am Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I live for the rush and the feeling of doing my duty and saving a life.