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I knock on the door nervously. My hands begin to sweat as the seconds tick by. Nick had convinced me to do this, and I don't know why I let him.

I suppose I felt bad for running away from the apartment and getting hammered. Plus, I brought a stray cat home. I smile fondly when I think of the morning after.

I lay on the couch with the cat on my stomach. She (I had to verify the gender) purrs loudly and it sends tickles down my body.

Frannie has actually adjusted better than expected. They haven't gotten into it yet, thank God.

Nick is sitting on the opposite side of the couch petting Frannie who sits on the floor. My feet lay across his lap. His free hand strokes my leg.

"What about patches?" Nick's strong voice fills the room and I look over at him with a smile. I can't help the chuckle that escapes my throat.

I felt a surge of happiness whenever Nick was near me. I can't explain it. Once we break contact I am fussy, depressing thoughts fill my head. Even with him though, I can feel the thoughts on the edge of my mind; Fighting to break free from the temporary cage. Or maybe I'm just happy because I am still slightly drunk.

"No offense Nick, but that's the dumbest name I've ever heard. Patches, really? Are you five?" I laugh again and continue to pet the unnamed cat.

He fakes a hurt expression "Well I'd like to see you do better. We're not naming the damn thing Oreo."

I look over at him and scrunch up my face. "I wasn't going to say Oreo. What about..." my attention is suddenly drawn to the background noise of the TV. A cartoon woman appears on screen. Her hair is half black and half white. My smile grows wider. "Cruella, we'll name the cat Cruella Devil."

Nick seems to mull it over. It is in fact perfect. The cat is half black and half white separated straight down the middle.

"Cruella….. I like it."

I snap back to the present when I hear movement on the other side of the door. My pulse starts to quicken as the door is opened.

"Amanda, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Liv stands on the other side of the door with a surprised look gracing her features. Noah is on her hip and he stares at me with unfiltered curiosity.

I force a smile on my face and nod "Oh yeah I'm fine. I threw out half my closet last night and I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping…. With me." The words sound foreign on my tongue. Never have I ever asked another woman to go shopping with me.

I hate shopping… unless I'm in the mood for it. Right now I am certainly not.

Liv looks taken aback "Oh, well okay yeah of course! Here take Noah for a second and I'll get dressed. My nanny is off on Saturdays so I hope you don't mind that he comes with us."

She hands me Noah and ushers me into the apartment, closing the door behind us.

For having a toddler her apartment is spotless. A few toys and baby blankets are on the couch but other than that nothing is out of place.

"No that's fine" I have to raise my voice because Liv is already out of the room and heading to change; I vaguely register a response.

I bounce Noah up and down on my hip, he might be the cutest child I've ever seen. I've always liked children. When I was young I used to want a bunch of kids but now I'm not so sure. I don't want to pass on my screwy antics to innocent children.

Then there's the fact that the world is so unbelievably horrible. Would I really want to raise a child in such a place? Expose a bundle of joy to the cruel world? I deal with cringe worthy things on a daily basis, why in the world would I want my child to be exposed to them?

"Sorry about that" Liv gushes as she comes back in "I have a habit of shoving Noah into people's arms." She has changed into blue jeans and a red blouse, brown hair up in a ponytail. It may be the most casual I have ever seen her dress.

She reaches out and I hand over her son. She maneuvers him to her hip like a pro. In a flurry of movement Noah was in a stroller and Liv was by the door with a fake smile that I couldn't read "Ready to go?"

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We shop in silence. I don't really know where to go so Liv drives us to a place and I follow dutifully.

It's a cute little shop that I never would have gone into if I was by myself. The floor is a cherry red mahogany and the walls are a royal blue. White tea lights frame the ceiling of the entire store.

Cheery blonde girls greet us as we walk in. They all fawn over Noah and Liv smiles and laughs along. I don't know how she does that; I would swat them away from my child.

After the girls (there are 3 of them) finish their sales pitch, we start to browse the store. I can tell Liv is holding something back. Every time we speak it looks as though she wants to say more, but doesn't.

Liv is talking as she holds up a black button down shirt "How about this? I know you might not like it at first but why don't you go try it on and….."

I put down the shirt I am looking at and stare her dead in the eyes. "Liv, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so blunt but do you have something to say to me?" My voice comes out harsher than I mean it to but I'm tired of people tiptoeing around me.

"Amanda….." she is at a loss for words and squirms under my gaze. She looks down at Noah as if hoping he starts to fuss to give her a way out. I don't relent.

After a few minutes go by I let out a breath and turn to leave. I feel her grab my arm and rotate me around. I flinch and jump a few feet back. Her touch burns my wrist.

I don't notice that my eyes are wild and my breathing has increased until I back up into one of the sales women.

"Oh sweetie are you okay?" Her straight blonde hair frames her face and her blue eyes peer down at me with a mixture of concern and curiosity. If I didn't know any better I would think we were sisters.

I move a few steps back and smile and nod. She leaves my side unconvinced.

"Amanda" Livs voice startles me as it is right behind me now. Again I go to jump back but this time she has a better grip on my arm and pulls me into a hug.

It's strange, to be hugging my boss as I am now. We have never been close. Like ever.

I stiffen but eventually I concede and melt into her arms. After a few minutes and quite a few stares we break apart and I go to pick up Noah. I feel calmer with him in my arms.

All of a sudden she breaks her smile and looks me in the eyes "He's been following you, Amanda. We found his address and went to pay him a visit but he wasn't there. His apartment was cleared out, completely empty. In the closet was a picture of you taken from somewhere across the street with the words "your move"."

My eyes glaze over as she finishes talking. The world fades in and out of focus. I shove Noah into Liv's arms and fall to the ground. I faintly hear someone shout my name.

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SVU precinct

Monday, June 15th

9:30 PM

"So what do we know about him?" I sit in the middle of the squad room in a rolling chair. We always discuss Amanda's case around 9, after hours so that we don't muddle our other cases. My team huddles around me. Finn is, as always, at my left. Amaro sits in front of me; he was somehow able to keep Amanda at home.

After her fainting spell the doctor has put her strictly on bed rest for the next week. Yeah, like that will happen.

Barba is closest to the timeline we have running and looks very uncomfortable. He continues to shift from foot to foot.

"Patrick Fitzgerald, 25-30, dark hair, dark eyes, likes young blonde girls. All victims report the same story. A guy walks up to them and asks them to dance. After a while they get a drink, feel light headed, get taken into the back alley and raped. "

Everyone mulls over what Finn has just said. Amaro puts on a brave face but you can tell he's fuming on the inside.

"So the first rape was reported 2 months ago. That makes 5 victims in the remaining time. He's escalating." I think aloud and tap my foot. When the tapping doesn't satisfy the twitch I stand up and go to the board.

"We've put a protective detail on Amanda and extra cops in the club. Somehow Max's lawyer got it back open. Whatever. We need to catch this SOB now before another victim pops up." My voice is frustrated.

Amaro stands up and walks to the board across from me. "What I don't get is why all of a sudden we're getting these reports. I mean I'm profiling him as though he needs to rape women; it makes him powerful, alive even. So why did he decide to start now?"

No one quite knows how to answer that. It strikes me strange how none of us had pointed that out before. We all need to take a giant step back and gain some perspective. This is just a regular case.

"I'll get you a warrant to look through his medical records and other confidential files. Just find this guy, and make it quick." Barba struts across the room with his head down. I think he cares more about Amanda than he lets on.

Once Barba has gone silence returns. Everyone's eyes linger on Amanda's picture. It still stings to see her up there. I doubt we'll ever get used to it.

"We need to keep a close eye on Amanda. He's obviously got some obsession with her, newly formed. Maybe we can set up a sting?" Finn crosses over to me. I know he is hurt that he hasn't really been able to see his partner, those two are thicker than thieves. They've talked on the phone a couple times but other than that, nothing. Amanda stays glued to Amaro or her couch. "We could have her go out in public and then come back to her apartment. He probably knows where it is by now."

A shiver comes up my spine when I think about the fact that he probably does know where she lives. I had breached the subject with her but she was stubborn, didn't want to leave her home. I had also talked to her about therapy, which she reluctantly agreed to. She didn't have much of a choice though, it's mandatory.

I nod my head "Okay. I'll demand she has an extra detail, maybe some undercover ones as well" I nod at Nick "don't tell her about the UC one's, she'll flip" I look back at Finn "review all the previous statements and dig into his records when Barba gets that warrant. Nick, follow me."

I turn and leave with Nick hot on my heels and walk into my office. I have to say every time I see my desk and name plate I swell up with pride. But today, I feel nothing.

Nick closes the door behind him as I take a seat behind my desk. He chooses the seat across from me, the one on the right.

"You wanted to speak to me?" I rest my hands on the desk and look straight ahead at Nick. He looks anxious.

He clears his throat and shifts in his seat. "Yeah I did. I was thinking a few days ago about how this is all going to play out. IAB is going to toss us if they ever find out. Both Amanda and I, our shields will be taken and our training will have been for nothing."

I listen and nod my head. I think I know where he is going with this but I don't want to get ahead of myself. My heart starts to beat faster.

Again he shifts in his seat uncomfortably. "I want to transfer to homicide. It's the only outcome I can see that would work. I love it here I do, but Amanda loves it more. She belongs here, she needs to be here. I worked homicide before and loved it so I don't mind. I hope you understand."

I hesitate for a few seconds before I answer. "I get it Nick, I do but I also hope you understand what you're saying. You would be leaving SVU. Now I can get into contact with the homicide captain but I want you to really think about what you're willing to do."

In all reality I don't want Nick to leave. For one we're short staffed, but I know that's not the real answer. I would miss him, deeply.

This time it's his turn to nod as he stands to go. "I will, thanks Liv." He smiles and heads towards the door. Right before he reaches the frame my phone rings and I hold up my hand to stop him.

"Benson" I curtly say as I answer the phone.

My blood runs cold. I have to stifle a reflex gasp.

Nick peers at me from the other side of the desk and rounds it to lightly touch my shoulder out of concern. I can tell he is confused and a little worried as I hang up the phone and sink down into my desk chair.

"We have another vic."

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"H2O" Club

Upper East Side

Monday, June 15th

10:30 PM

Cop cars flash as I hop out of mine and take off running towards the back alley. Déjà vu hits me like a truck and my steps stagger slightly but I keep running.

Of course my outfit really doesn't help my case. The one time I put on heeled boots and a leather jacket to walk Frannie because I was feeling it this comes over my radio.

They are not going to be happy when they see me here. Not that I have ever really cared about that.

My heart starts pumping as I get closer to the scene, and not because of the running.

I flash my badge at the officer in front of the scene but I don't need to. He recognizes me instantly and stares at me wildly. As if saying "Are you crazy? Why are you here?

I guess it is a little crazy. I should have stayed home. Oops.

I walk into the back alley and fight to stay calm. A young girl is getting checked out by the paramedics; she is sitting in the back of the ambulance and talking to Liv.

Finn and Nick are interviewing a witness, maybe her friend.

As I slowly walk closer to the girl I am disgusted. Her blonde hair and blue eyes have betrayed her in the worst way possible. There are bruises up and down her arms, but not on her face. He must not have been as violent with her.

Smart son of a bitch switched clubs.

I hold my breath as I stealthily try and walk past Nick and Finn without them seeing me. They are to my right, the ambulance is straight ahead.

Of course it doesn't work; I was an idiot to think it would. I hear both of them say "Amanda" with more than a little surprise lacing their voices.

Before they can pull me to the side I shuffle ahead and stand by Liv's side.

"It's alright Bethany, it wasn't your fault." Liv turns her eyes to me and they are wild. She doesn't say anything though, can't in front of the victim. I'm sure I'll hear about it later.

Bethany is crying silently into her hands. She straightens back up and looks over at me. Her eyes silently ask who I am.

"Hi Bethany, I am detective Rollins. Is there anything I can get for you, anyone I can call to meet you at the hospital?" I ask her with the nicest tone I know.

Her eyes immediately pop open when I reveal my name. I can tell she didn't listen to anything else that I said.

"You're Detective Rollins?"

I nod my head confused.

"Amanda?"

Again I nod my head.

She begins to cry as she looks at me. "I'm so sorry. He said… He said…." Her cries stop her from being able to speak.

I grab her hand and squeeze it for support. My own tears threaten to spill over my eyes. "It's okay Bethany you can tell me."

She nods and lets out another sob before continuing. "He said that I was good…. But not as good as you. He said that he's coming for you… Again."

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I watch as Amanda grabs hold of her hand.

I can't help but smile, two of my girls together. A surge of happiness makes its way down from my head to my toes.

I was delighted when I saw Amanda running from her car. Doubt had filled my head that she would be here since she had been put strictly on bed rest.

But nothing can keep her down, my girl, she's a tough one.

Part of me wanted to pull her into an adjacent alley and finish what we started. But no, I am much too patient for that.

I need to get rid of him first. Nick Amaro. What a pest.

Or maybe I should just take her. I haven't really worked out what I want to do yet.

All in good time.

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This ones a little shorter, sorry loves. I've lost kind of my drive to write which is why it's taking me longer to put up a chapter. I am trying to at least put up one every week though. Love you guys, reviews really help!