Chapter Seven: Flightless Bird
A/N: Yes, yes, it's not exactly the title of the song. It's just half of it in fact. But I'm going to use the other half for the next chapter. For those of you who don't know, the song is "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron and Wine. I listened to the Wedding Version of this song for this chapter.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the song featured here, nor the manga/anime Naruto.
Summers in Konoha has always been… lazy.
Outside, the leaves flutter like emerald crisps, cicadas sing in a round chorus, and Sakura sighs and lies down on the hardwood floors of her new room. New because she's never really stayed long in this part of Sasuke's house… She's always stayed in his room.
But anyway.
Her bags are unpacked, clothes hung in the closet, and new blankets laid on her new bed.
New, new, new.
Except she didn't feel new.
No, around here, she feels like an old ghost, come home at last.
Although she's never had any illusions of coming back here, here in his house of all places (okay, maybe, yes, but just to show how much she's changed, immune, stronger), it incensed her how even after six years, she still knows in what cupboard he kept his coffee. Or which floorboards creaked when you stepped on them.
There are even times she can barely leave her room in the silly fear that she'd just be absorbed by the rest of the house, like she belonged.
But it's not all her, she thinks. Some of the… fault, had to dwell with him too.
Maybe this all just means that it's him that hasn't changed in the last six years.
Maybe. Probably.
She turns to lie on her side so she can look at the very much open window, with the hot and lazy summer wind going in and blowing her new white, lace curtains all over the place.
Sasuke's not changing at all, is that a comfort or something to be sad about?
Her years in Suna, other than the extension of her medical knowledge and experience, had given her a backbone she's surprised to have developed. A little fairy princess of a girl is never going to be taken seriously in a big city, not without learning how to wear stiletto heels and stomping on a few people's toes she isn't.
And she's had to fend for herself out there, no Naruto or Sasuke to keep the lechers at bay, or Ino to stress-eat some Hot Fudge Sundae with. She's learned how to survive.
But most of all, she learned that she was enough.
Strong enough to get through medical school, all the while restarting her whole life. Competent enough to command the respect of her professors and peers. That she— Sakura, just Sakura, was enough for someone to want to spend their life with. Maybe even forever.
Gaara-kun…
And that was something that she had to figure out soon.
What about Sasuke though?
Had nothing that's happened affected him? Not even the things that have happened to them?
Images of forehead taps, feathery, long lashes, and rare smiles that might as well have just been quirks of the lips paraded around her head.
As Sakura stands up to leave the room, she tries to push down how absurdly hopeful that made her feel.
"I can't believe how incredibly stupid this— you, are!"
Sakura peruses the little, laminated menu, thinking of maybe ordering lemon tea with a lot of honey. "I know piggy."
"I saw it coming from a mile away."
"I don't even know how it escaped me."
"… So have you jumped Sasuke yet?"
"Ino!"
Putting a hand over her best friend's mouth, Sakura is wondering whether the stupid idea was temporarily moving in with Sasuke, or telling Ino about it. Seriously, the blonde had no filters. Reminding her of another blonde she knew.
Turning to the raven haired heiress by her side, she had to ask, "Hey Hinata-chan. Any news on the Naruto front?"
"Y-yes. I'm planning on telling him tonight, we're going out for dinner… And then, whatever Naruto's reaction may be, I'm telling my father tomorrow."
Sakura smiles. Hinata had never been the most outspoken when they were children, always in the background, always in the shadows. Maybe her being around Naruto had some positive impact on her life after all. Aside from the baby girl she's soon to birth into the world that is.
See, change is good, Sakura affirms.
New is good.
"Hey! Don't think you're getting away with this easily forehead! Answer my question."
Sakura doesn't know what to tell Ino. Her reactions could range from an innocent and firm 'no', to an outraged 'how could you even think that piggy?' All of it would be true, it's not like she intended to start things up with Sasuke when she asked if she could move in… It's just that, well, he offered.
Ino groans and rakes her fingers through her hair. "Silence isn't what I want to hear from you Sakura."
"Then what do you want to hear Ino? I can only take this one day at a time; I don't exactly have a plan. I only came back here for Hinata…"
It doesn't escape Sakura's notice the way her friends look at each other, or how they don't say anything else afterwards. But honestly? She didn't really have the presence of mind to prove herself to them.
Maybe they wanted to hear her say that it was a mistake that she ever went back to that house, back to Konoha. 'Cause she's beginning to think that it was.
Did they want her to say that she was in over her head? 'Cause yes, she most definitely is.
Or maybe they wanted to hear how much Sasuke didn't affect her one bit, that he didn't know how to get under her skin anymore…
"Does your boyfriend at least know?" Ino asks her when their orders come in.
Does Gaara know she's living with her… Sasuke? What was he to her? What were they even back then?
"Gaara knows I'm with a friend…"
She sighs. Okay, even that one sounded wrong to her. She looks at Ino, wagging her finger at her like she's a child, and Hinata, smiling at her without judging.
"Wouldn't it be better to tell Gaara-san before he finds out another way, Sakura-chan?"
As always, Hinata is a well of wisdom.
With how busy Gaara's been with the renovation however (and she knows how focused he can be) it'd be a surprise if she could get a word in.
Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to drop by…
"Sasuke, you like her don't you?"
She remembers that he didn't answer her… but did he do anything else?
That afternoon, he sat at the edge of the window sill, side towards the cool glass, but he was looking out. Out there, to her who danced under the setting sun.
Classes had ended, and for some reason or another, she and Sasuke had stayed back. And she sat in her seat, and Sakura remarked how he was there, but still untouchable. It felt like there were three people in the room instead of two, because of course she was here (there)—in his subconscious and seeping out from his thoughts into the air.
Asami.
Did he say anything else then?
But he didn't really have to. She could see it in the way his eyes were probably following her. Asami was going further and further away, and Sasuke was leaving with her.
She remembers that he didn't answer her… and that there was nothing that she could do.
Classroom 4-7.
Whenever Sakura thought of the good ol' days, she thought of highschool and this room specifically. It really is true, they were the glory days of youth. And for Sakura, it was the time before practically everything went to shit.
Oh, it was starting to head there. But she could at least pretend then that it was never going to happen.
She still remembers which seat was hers. She sashays to the front of the room, to the chair at the very middle, and sits. The chair, as the others, is already rickety and coated in a thin layer of dust. But she could still make out the faint scent of resin and the words she had scribbled on it in boredom.
Naruto is (lame crossed out) awesome!
Wanna go to the mall later Ino-pig?
Sasuke... no baka!
Sakura loves (furious scribbling to hide a name)
The gang, as they had (lamely and lazily) called themselves, were always in the same classes since elementary, except for the elder Hyuuga, his girlfriend Tenten, and the ever energetic Lee. The rest, if she closed her eyes, she could still see as they were back then.
Shikamaru would of course be dozing off in the back, with Chouji eating a bag of chips in secret. Ino-pig would be sitting beside her, sometimes even attempting to sneak a look in her test papers. Hinata would be on the other side, studious as always. Kiba and Naruto would be in another row, arguing about who's better at whatever testosterone-fueled activity. Shino would be right beside them, in case it ever broke into an actual fight. Again. And Sasuke, he would be…
"Kaka-sensei!"
Sakura starts when someone slams the doors open. A shock of blonde hair, blue eyes, and a messy, untucked shirt. "Naruto."
"Oh… hey Sakura-chan."
They stare at each other for a good few seconds, unsure what to say next. Based on their last meeting… well, things weren't too good. And Naruto looked awkward as hell, he couldn't even look her in the eye. So of course she's anxious when, for some reason, he decides to walk towards her, and sits on the chair besides her.
"Sakura-chan… I'm sorry for being an ass the other night."
She thinks back, to the Naruto of her memories. In her mind, he was always loud, and boisterous, and smiling, and just laughing. This Naruto, silent and even hesitant, she doesn't know if she's comfortable with him. He's changed too, and she doesn't know if she likes it.
But then, that's the price she pays for leaving for six years, she guesses, to barely even recognize one of her most cherished people.
Sakura takes his hand in his, trying to communicate forgiveness, trying to communicate an apology of her own. And to her delight, he squeezes her hand back.
"Hey. Why were you looking for Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura wipes at the tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes, unknowingly.
"Oh well, you know…" Naruto sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. "Can you keep a secret Sakura-chan?"
At that, her eyebrows scrunch together. "What are you planning Naruto?"
"Hinata and I are going out to dinner tonight… And I'm going to ask her to marry me!"
To say that she was shocked… she knows that her mouth was wide open, and the way Naruto smiles lets her know that it was the expression he hoped. "Oh my god, Naruto I'm so happy for you!"
She encircles Naruto in a hug, dragging their chairs together, the steel legs scraping across the floor. In the back of her head, she wonders what lucky stars were present when Hinata was born. Silently, she thanked each one of them. The girl really did deserve all the happiness in the world, and if Naruto was what made her happy, then so be it.
"But wait," Sakura says when she finally lets him go, "Why are you looking for Kakashi-sensei?"
"Because I'm kinda nervous Sakura-chan. Maybe he has some advice for me. I know to all of you I'm the ultimate model of awesomeness," Sakura rolls her eyes at that, seems some things stay the same, "But I feel like I'm minutes away from breaking into hives! Even the teme had to give me a pep talk! Can you imagine?"
Could she imagine that his bestfriend for maybe all of eternity, no matter how emotionally constipated, would want him to be happy? "Come on Naruto, give him some credit. Remember when he took the fall for you when you tee-peed Mizuki-sensei's house?"
"Oh yeah. They wouldn't have let me graduate junior high if I'd been caught."
"Exactly. Sasuke cares for you, dummy."
Naruto smiles, silent, but he looks at her from the side, like a kid eager to share something. "He cares about you too, you know."
"Yeah… maybe."
Did she know that? Sure she and Sasuke have been (had been?) friends for so long and there were some really good times back then, wasn't there? But with how messed up it all turned out in the end, she just wasn't so sure anymore.
"Don't sugar coat it Naruto, tell me, how is he? Has he… changed?"
"Well…" Naruto presses his lips together into a thin line, and proceeds to tell him how a year after she left, he finally got fed up and just kicked Sasuke out of the house, justso he'd at least go out. The gang had thought he'd just continue drinking all over town but for some reason, he got a job at the police station. "And now the bastard's captain."
Sakura thumbs the crossed out name on her chair. "And… and he's okay now?"
Naruto hums, deep in thought. "I think that's something you'll have to see for yourself Sakura-chan. Have you two at least talked?"
Talk? He was barely home, as he'd promised her when he first offered her a room. But she couldn't help but feel that he was trying. For one, they weren't getting on each other's' nerves. And he'd always tell her if he'd be out late or ask her if she needed anything.
But most of the time, it felt like he was just there, occupying space.
And Sakura doesn't know how hectic being head of police could be in a town like Konoha, but she'd be naïve not to think that he's not avoiding her in the littlest bit.
Or maybe he's out gallivanting with that red head nurse.
Sakura wonders if she should ask Naruto about this Karin girl, his supposed cousin. But she shakes her head and leaves it, and Naruto, alone. She has a red head of her own to find, one who's walking around and working to renovate and redesign the building.
A thought pops into her head as she wanders off. If this place looked any different, would her memories of it be just as powerful?
She finds Gaara in the school's faculty room, all by himself and drowning in musty old blueprints.
"You need any help there mister big-shot architect?" She approaches him, trying very hard not to laugh. Honestly, he's never been a good team player, always has to do things by himself.
He gives her a smile when she takes the last of the papers off his head. "And how can I repay you for your kindness, m'lady."
"How about that date you promised me?"
"Sakura, why are you hiding under the table?"
Said woman looked up from her menu. She wasn't technically under the table… she was just slumping low enough so she couldn't be seen.
"Well, you said you wanted to meet my friends. See those two in the table by the window?" Sakura points to a blonde sweating out of his suit, and a dark haired girl whose face was as red as a tomato. "My bestfriend and his girlfriend."
"Ah. The man who cried because of you the other night." Gaara goes through his menu and smiles at Sakura's antics. "And we're here because…?"
"Well he's going to propose and she's going to tell him she's pregnant," Sakura whispers to him as if it was answer enough. And it was. With Gaara, he always seemed to know what she was thinking before she said it.
And that scared her a bit.
"It seems like you're not the only one who thought of spying on them," Gaara remarks.
When Sakura looks around, she notices for the first time that Ino and Shikamaru were on another table, wearing shades (at night?), Tenten and Lee posing as waiters, and Neji, playing the piano in the middle of the room.
In a word, they all looked too shifty to be natural.
"Yeah… My friends can't really grasp the concept of private moments sometimes."
"Oh, I'm sure."
Sakura looks at Gaara seriously. Another person might have taken offense at being asked on a date just so she could spy on her friends. Hell, she herself would have been annoyed. But maybe, she smiles and ribs the red head good naturedly, that's why Gaara was good for her.
"Kami—! You're pregnant?"
From where they were, she could see Naruto stand up and knock over a glass of champagne. He didn't look mad, just stunned. Definitely more shocked than she was this afternoon. The rest of the room seems to have stopped and looked on at them with bated breath.
"H-hai Naruto. I'm only telling y-you, you don't have to m-marry me or anything."
"Are you crazy woman?" Naruto scrambles to the carpeted floor, where the champagne had fallen over. Ah, of course he would have gone for the old put the ring in the champagne trick.
"Of course I'm going to marry you," he takes Hinata's pale, trembling hand in his and slips the ring on, "And I'm not going to take no for an answer!"
When they, finally, embrace, Sakura releases the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.
After Naruto proposed, the whole gang started coming out of the woodwork. She didn't even want to think about the health code violations Chouji, Kiba and Shino probably committed before they came out of the kitchen. What the happy couple probably thought was going to be a quiet and private celebration, immediately turned into an engagement party.
And Sakura thought it was as good a time as any to finally introduce Gaara to the gang.
Not because Sasuke wasn't there, of course— or so she tells herself.
It definitely made things easier though.
Now that the excitement had gone, and Gaara had decided to turn in for the night (because he had a big day tomorrow and he should at least try to sleep this time), Sakura finds herself alone at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch, and thinking… thinking of where her life was going.
It's a curse she supposes. One of your friends gets married and you immediately start wondering if you'll die an old maid.
Years ago, with Sasuke… well there was never really a "with Sasuke." All there was, was a stupid girl in love with a boy who was still in love with someone else. A plan for marriage wasn't really in the works. Oh, but she hoped alright.
And now, with Gaara, who all but offered the world to her… for some reason, it's her who was running away from that possibility. She could reason it's because she still hasn't gotten over the hurt; she's just taking it easy. Guarding the botched up patch job she called her heart.
But she'd already decided it was time to move on with Gaara, hadn't she? It definitely looked like Sasuke's wasted no time in that department.
"You look deep in thought."
Speak of the devil and he shall come.
"I thought you weren't going to show, Sasuke."
He was still in his uniform, sans the coat and tie. Was that a smudge of lipstick on his neck?
Sakura grips her glass and looks away. Whatever, it definitely wasn't her business.
"The dobe would have talked my ear off if I hadn't."
"Yeah, sure."
"Well aren't you chipper. I heard you were parading your boyfriend before I came here."
She hates it that she blushes at that. Why would she? She isn't hiding anything. "I didn't parade him Sasuke. He wanted to meet the gang, so I introduced him. Too bad, you should've arrived earlier so—"
"Are you happy Sakura?"
Is she happy? What kind of question was that?
She looks at Sasuke, listlessly eyeing the glass the bartender just gave him, and she can only guess at what he was really asking her.
Are you happy with him?
Are you happy with how things turned out?
Are you happy now?
All of it left a bitter taste in her mouth. So ignore it she will, like she's done for the last six years.
"Why do you care Sasuke?"
He chuckles and whispers something in her ear before he leaves.
"I've always cared Sakura."
Sasuke asked her once, why she bothered to come when all the others had stopped.
"Why do you care Sakura?"
The funeral had been weeks past and he had snapped and snarled at any and everyone who even dared to drop by and check up on him, including her. Ino, Shikamaru and the rest of the gang had long given up. Even Naruto.
So why indeed?
It's not like he acknowledged her presence at all. Most of the times, he just slept through everything, natural or alcohol-induced. And those were days she was grateful for. Because there were bad days, dark days, when he'd throw fits, smashing everything he could lay his hands on.
It was like he was just possessed with the need to destroy.
And afterwards, she would hold him as he was wracked in sobs, hold him as if she could keep him together and keep him from falling apart. Because those days, it felt like it was the only thing she could do.
So why?
"I've always cared Sasuke."
The next day, Sakura wakes up feeling cold.
It felt like it had rained after she'd fallen asleep and everything's just covered in a blanket of cold.
And lethargy.
And yawns.
But oddly enough, it was refreshing.
Bones pop as she gets up. She had to make plans. Now that Hinata was getting married, did she still have to stay in town?
Sakura wandered off to the kitchen to make a sandwich, headphones in place, and she hoped to high heavens that Sasuke had already left. She didn't know if he had come home before her, she hadn't bothered to check. What he said, it still unnerved her.
But of course, when had Sasuke ever followed her expectations.
She nearly drops the butter knife when he comes into the room, wearing nothing but his pajamas. She's blushing because he caught her dancing, she tells herself, not because he's topless. And because they at least have to be civil, she smiles and greets him good morning.
Sasuke… he really is a presence unto himself. Anywhere he goes, he seems to just command the attention. And as hard as Sakura tries to ignore him, she can still feel his every stride in the room. Feel the warm heat of him when he brushes near.
Maybe it will always be like this for her, for them. Sasuke will always affect her simply because of who he is. And what he is to her…
So that's it, she thinks absent mindedly.
She never thought it would be easy, hell she never even thought it would be possible, to forget Sasuke. And even after six years, after all her wanting for change, some things just never will.
But that doesn't mean she can't still try to move on.
Right?
"Sakura, you're blocking the coffee maker."
Sakura is brought out of her musing when she feels a pair of warm hands on her waist. She stiffens at the contact, still on edge, but she smiles as she turns anyway. Because she can do this, and maybe someday, nothing Sasuke does will ever matter to her.
Except when he moves her from the counter, she makes the mistake of looking up at him. At those deep, dark eyes.
And even before his lips tentatively touch hers, she knows she's already lost.
A/N:
And I am back lovelies!
Thanks a lot to all the people who reviewed and I really wish a lot more of you had an account so I could reply personally. I love all your reviews, you make me really feel confident! So spread the love guys!
And special thanks to Meemy-chan who got me to write my ass off!
Good gravy boat, did Sasuke and Sakura just kiss?
Reviews are very much appreciated. What do you guys think of the Gaiden by the way? The fandom is just bouncing off the walls!
