Thanks for the reviews-I own nothing!
So remember when I said that Thanksgiving was never significant? Well I take that back, yesterday was definitely one of the most significant days in my short twenty-five years of life. You know the beginning of the story…Lucas and I screaming in my kitchen, our near kiss, Lucas telling me that he's still in love with me. Well, here's the rest.
Flashback
"Everyone go and relax, I'll take care of the dishes", I said as I shooed them from the kitchen. Truth is told I hated doing dishes but I wanted to be away from everyone.
"Are you sure?" Michael questioned as everyone else walked off.
"I'm positive", I said as I kissed him quickly. He nodded his head before kissing me again and taking a seat on the couch to watch the football game. I had put the coffee pot on and had taken the ice cream out of the freezer so that it could defrost before I even started the dishes.
"You want some help?" I heard a voice question. I stopped in my tracks. The song I was humming was quickly forgotten.
"No", I told him curtly. My back was to him; I knew that if I turned around and saw those blue eyes I would be done for.
"Really?" he questioned. I could feel the smirk on his face. He knew how much I hated doing the dishes. I ignored his question and walked over to the sink, grimacing as I picked up a food filled dish.
"Let me help. No strings attached", he joked. I had to stop myself from smiling. It was amazing really, the fact that we could go from screaming at each other one minute to nearly kissing the next to now acting as if none of that had ever happened.
"Fine", I said exasperatedly as I rolled my eyes. He smirked again.
"You are something else Peyton Sawyer", he said quietly. He instantly took his place at the sink. I smiled at this familiarity. Whenever Lucas and I were together and dishes were involved he would wash and I dried. When we were younger and did dishes in his mother's café we usually ended up covered in soap suds and cleaning up water puddles on the floor.
"Dinner was great", he said without looking at me. He took cleaning the dishes way too seriously. Making sure every tiny speck was gone.
"Thanks", I said as I felt myself blush. He didn't even compliment my looks but the thing with Lucas was that he didn't have to. Anything he said to me made me blush. I also noticed the tone he said it in.
"You said that like you've never had my cooking before", I joked. After the whole chocolate chip cookie incident in senior year I made it my goal to become a better cook. I too classes and bought every possible cook book. It all paid off one night in our freshman year when Lucas told me that I had made the best chicken parmesan he ever had.
"It's just been a while", he said nostalgically. I bit my lip and concentrated on the dish in my hand. It had been a while. It had been too long actually.
"Oh it's only been like five years", I tried to joke. I stopped laughing when he put the still dirty dish down and turned to face me.
"Four years and seven months", he whispered. I felt my eyes bulge out. He had it counted down to the months? I did too but he was a boy. Then again he wasn't just any boy…he was Lucas Scott.
I took a deep breath and nodded my head. It was going on eight months pretty soon.
"Four years and seven months", I said aloud to nobody in particular. I also didn't dare make eye contact.
"There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you", I could feel him moving closer to me. I didn't need this now. Michael was here and so was Brooke.
"Luke", I pleaded as I turned to face him. I saw Nathan out of the corner of my eye. He was just about to walk in when he noticed the closeness Lucas and I held. Needless to say he scurried off.
"Peyt", he said pointedly. He knew how that nickname affected me. I shook my head with defiance.
"I told you we weren't doing this", I whispered harshly.
"I don't care", he said matter of factly. He looked at me and crossed his arms. He definitely meant business. I looked towards the living room and noticed that everyone was pretty much occupied with their own things.
"Lucas, we seriously are not-"
"I don't care", he cut me off, "I've been doing things your way for a while. Now were going to do things my way", he said as he pointed to himself. We may not have spoken or seen each other in years but he knew I didn't get talked to like that.
"Who are you to tell me what I'm going to do or not do", I said rebelliously.
"We have to talk", he said as he walked closer. I was making it a point to keep some sort of distance but that was soon running out. I felt myself hit the wall.
"I told you that I still love you and you have yet to say any type of response", he had me cornered now. He placed both hands on my shoulders to make sure that I was giving him my full attention. I was beginning to feel dizzy. I couldn't let this happen…
"I told you that you didn't mean it. Lucas we have a history. Being around each other and being around places that holds memories of what we were is bound to make you think things", I stated as if I had read it in Reader's Digest. He shook his head and laughed bitterly. Without looking at me he walked out of the kitchen. Another minute later I heard the front door close. I knew he had left. I was pretty sure it was the last time I'd see him.
End Flashback
So that was before the real event took place. That's not even the good part yet. That was just like the opening band that plays, you like them and think that they're pretty good but you really wanna see your favorite band. Well, get ready.
Flashback
Right now Michael's out with Nathan, Chase, Jake, and some of the other guys. Lucas might be there but who knows. He's probably home with Brooke. Oh wait their home isn't done yet, they're back in his old room. That's going to supply me with some lovely dreams tonight.
"Stop it Peyton", I said aloud to myself. I need to not think about Lucas. For at least a minute. I know how pathetic that sounds but it's the truth. Ever since he left, without saying anything, he's all I've thought about.
He didn't even say anything back. No backhanded answer. He didn't try to make me talk to him about my feelings. No declaration of his undying love. He didn't even try to kiss me! I feel my lip beginning to quiver. I've lost Lucas forever. He didn't put up a fight because he realized I was right. Before I can fully comprehend the thought of never talking to him again I hear my front door slam shut.
"Michael", I call out uncertainly. Then I reprimanded myself. You're never supposed to call out if you hear a strange noise and you're home alone. I begin to freak out as I hear the footsteps nearing; they're hurried and sound like they have a purpose. The shadow in the doorway has me on the edge of my seat.
"Lucas, what are you-"
"Don't tell me I don't love you Peyton", he yelled as he threw the box on the floor, "For the past…nearly five years that all I've known", he said painfully.
"Luke", I said quietly. I wanted to do nothing more then jump into his arms and never let go. Our eyes were locked and I could see the pain his held. I couldn't help but wonder if mine looked the same.
"No Peyton, if you're so sure that I don't feel anything for you then take a look at all of the things in this box. If you're so sure that I only feel this way because we're together now then you don't know me", he turned around and walked away. I felt myself losing the battle I was fighting. I knew that it wasn't because we were together now, it's because he's Lucas Scott and I'm Peyton Sawyer.
End Flashback
Needless to say that was his famous 'Peyton Box'. I had heard about it in high school but that was through the mouth of Brooke Davis and it wasn't talked about kindly. Seeing that box and knowing that there were memories in there scared the hell out of me but I took a deep breath and opened it. I needed to know that he really did care.
Two hours, a box of Kleenex, and a carton of ice cream later I had sifted through the box. There was stuff all the way from high school in it. The letter I had written him, drawings I had done, pictures, everything. But that was high school stuff; it didn't prove anything to me…that's when I saw them, all the CD's. To most people they would be insignificant, but I knew why they were in there. They were all under my record label. There were newspaper articles and magazine writings all about me. Most people would have been creeped out by that but this was Lucas telling me that he was sincere. That I didn't have anything to worry about.
Okay, now that you're all caught up with recent events we can move on to other things. Like the fact that Brooke Davis has been sitting in my kitchen for the past twenty minutes. Not saying anything, simply staring at her cup of coffee. She had knocked and said that we needed to talk. I was expecting her to scream at me about something pertaining to Lucas. So far, she hadn't done a thing.
"So…" I trailed off hoping she would start talking about whatever she wanted to discuss. After another quiet minute she looked up at me.
"I'm not happy", she said bluntly. "For the past few years, I haven't been happy. I mean I've been happy but not happy…" she continued to ramble on like this. I honestly had no idea where she was going with this conversation. Then I heard the name Chase. I snapped back into the conversation.
"…so basically, last night Lucas and I were talking and we called off the engagement. I love him but I'm definitely not in love him", she said truthfully.
"Brooke", I stopped her rambles so that I could get some insight, "what does any of this have to do with me?" I questioned as I took our mugs to the sink. I could feel her disbelieving stare.
"You honestly don't know why I just told you all of that?" she asked doubtfully. Before I could even respond she spoke again.
"Peyton, Lucas and I are done. We never should have started, but you live and learn right", she tried to joke. I wasn't in a laughing mood. "Listen to me", she demanded and I gave her my full attention,
"Lucas has been lost for a while and having you here, it's helped him be himself again. We're done, there's not going to be a wedding, there won't be any children, no white picket fences…nothing", she exclaimed with a smile on her face. "Not for me and him at least", she said poignantly.
I took my seat across from her and watched as she covered my hand with hers, "I'm sorry it took us all this long to figure things out", she said with a serious face and tone, "but now that we have things figured out, let's make the best of it all", she nudged me playfully. I let myself get swept up in the moment we were having. She and Lucas were done and from the way she was talking, she was going to try and get Chase back. But the main thing that struck me was that Lucas was single. He had truly made the step to show me that he meant everything he was saying. I was about to speak when my cell phone rang. I froze at that all too familiar ring tone.
"Peyton", Brooke asked me cautiously.
"Michael" I whispered. She instantly tensed up, as if he could hear us talking about my former love.
"I need some air", I said quickly as I stood up and looked for my car keys.
"Peyton, what about Michael", Brooke asked as she motioned to the phone.
"I can see him later, he slept at Nathan and Haley's last night", I answered offhandedly. I rushed out the door before she could talk again.
Have I mentioned that I hate my car? I mean I love it because it's been my car since high school, there are some pretty amazing memories attached with this car. But it freaking loves to break down. So now I'm sitting here around the bend, right near River Road, waiting for the stupid tow truck to come.
I had gone out for the drive to clear my head. Lucas and Brooke were done, but Michael and I weren't. We didn't even have any severe problems. Besides the fact that I'm in love with Lucas that is. Sarcasm is an old friend of mine.
Back to the topic at hand. Michael has some very high points. Michael makes me happy. He treats me well. He knows all of my favorite things. He has never broken my heart. He gets along well with all of my friends. There's just one thing…
He's not Lucas.
