Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. If I did, Mayuri would DIE

it took me a while but here it is, sorry about the delay. Also, here is a little extra content I forgot to post the first time.


"So…" Uryuu looked incredibly worried as he stared at Nemu, and although she didn't show it, she felt just the same way. Soifon, who had begun hanging around with them (to their great displeasure), took a break from feeling sorry for herself long enough to see the outcome of this most crucial moment in the Quincy and Nemu's relationship. She would probably start crying again after it was over.

"Well…" Nemu looked around at Uryuu and Soifon, she saw Unohana walk slowly into their little group. She was smiling serenely, giving off the aura of care and trust that seemed to just be a part of her. She gave Nemu a reassuring glance that told her everything would be fine. Now she was ready to tell them all the news.

"Yes…" said Soifon. She couldn't help but wonder how Mayuri would react to the whole incident. She really doubted he would take it well. There was no doubt that the poor girl would get the shit beat out of her either way. She let out a small sigh. It was probably best not to tell him. In fact, the less that madman knew about what his daughter was doing, the better.

"I'm not pregnant." Uryuu was obviously relieved, Unohana's expression hadn't changed at all, and Soifon looked disappointed. As the Quincy embraced his girlfriend, she spoke up.

"The two of you got lucky, Quincy-san," she told him. "Some mothers say the only way to get a man married is to use pregnancy as a trap." As everyone gave her a strange look, tears welled up in her eyes.

"Really stupid mothers who are even meaner when they're not drunk." She ran away crying.

"Well I hope the two of you have learned your lesson," Unohana told the young couple sternly.

"And what lesson might that be?" asked Uryuu.

"You do the nasty before you get married, yo' ass gon' burn."


Ichigo woke up, horribly confused. He really hoped that he didn't just sleep with Yoruichi. Not only would it ruin his love life, it would really make things awkward between them, something he was afraid of. Of course all his hopes were squashed as soon as he realized he wasn't in his hotel room, and Yoruichi walked out of the bathroom after a quick shower.

"Mornin' Ichi. You want breakfast?" When had she started to call him Ichi? This was just like a bad dream. A really awesome bad dream.

"It's okay if you don't," she continued, "but we gotta figure out what we're gonna do today. I mean it's a beautiful day, have you ever tried surfing? I think we should do that. Ooh and I'd love to try this restaurant called Escupimos En Su Alimento. I forgot what that means but I've heard the food there is just delicious. Now that you're my boyfriend you're gonna hafta start paying for me, you know that?"

"Wait, what!? I'm your boyfriend?"

"Oh, you thought that was just a one night stand, didn't you? Nope the two of us are in a long term relationship now. Oh, and I forgot to mention, you have one of Soifon's Homonka on your shoulder." Ichigo examined the butterfly-shaped mark, and realized he was in way over his head.

Everyone met for breakfast as usual. Except Yoruichi took Orihime's place next to Ichigo and almost contantly had her arm around him.

"So you just kind of dragged him into it, Yoruichi-san?" Chad asked tentatively.

"Yeah, he'll learn to love me. But he didn't need to learn anything for last night! My God Ichi the way you performed I could almost swear you weren't a virgin!"

"Yoruichi-san, ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?"

"No, Uryuu. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

Orihime looked at Ichigo with a pained look on her face. She let out a sigh. If this is what would make him happy than who was she to interfere.

"Orihime," Yoruichi said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "if you look at Ichi like that again I will personally ensure that you die in the most painful way possible, 'kay?"


Toushirou Hitsugaya was sitting alone. Things between him and Hinamori had been terrible lately, and he couldn't talk about it with Matsumoto because apparently he had broken her heart. He wasn't alone for long, though. Shunsui Kyouraku sat down on the bench next to him. He was dressed almost like he would have in soul society, wearing a sombrero and a pink shirt with a pattern similar to that of the cloak that he never took off.

"Got a problem, Toushirou?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Well that's too bad, 'cause I'm gonna talk about it. You broke both Hinamori's and Matsumoto's hearts without even realizing what you did, right."

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"Trust me, you look like you could use some help."

"For the last time I told you—"

"Trust me."

"Fine."

"Looks to me like you have to choose."

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't comfort them both. If you try they'll both get really mad at you and talking to either one will be impossible. This is also a decision that you have to make carefully. I know you think you should go to Hinamori, but I would suggest otherwise. She's a lot stronger than you think. Trust me, if she can get over Aizen, she can get over you."

"You think…"

"It was really obvious."

"What about Matsumoto?"

"That's the thing. You know Matsumoto thinks of herself as a beautiful woman. Getting guys has never been difficult for her. Then you came along and, well…"

"Effectively crushed her self-esteem."

"Exactly."

"Thank you, Kyouraku, you've been a big help."

"Well when you've been chasing women as long as I have, you're bound to learn a thing or two about them. Nanao-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" and with that the unusually helpful Kyouraku ran off after the woman he loved, leaving Hitsugaya to wonder whether he should take his advice to heart.

He had finally made up his mind. Now to get up there and do something he knew he was going to regret. He opened the door and walked inside. There she was, crying silently but crying nonetheless.

"Matsumoto…" he began, "I've been thinking and… well… let's go out tomorrow, just the two of us, how about it?"
"Oh taichou I'd love to!!!!" Matsumoto was happier than he'd ever seen her. Ever.

"So what made you change your mind?" she asked.

"You did." He technically wasn't lying, but it wasn't what she thought.


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