Chapter 7
Torturous Talks about Testosterone

Sage reluctantly followed his Uncle into the study which adjoined the parlor, hoping that the man was not going to begin on the same thread he had been on for the last week.

Severus sat down, lightly placing his mug onto the desk.

"Now, Sage, I must again remind you of my expectations while Miss Granger is with us."

Sage groaned loudly, falling into the chair behind him.

"Given that your testosterone is likely in such abundance that it will override any other chemical within your body, you need to take care to let yourself give in to any of your lesser desires. You will conduct yourself like a gentleman, there will be no closed doors or sneaking away. You are involved in a very delicate relation, which is also very new."

"Uncle," he nearly whined, "Why do we need to go through this yet again?"

"Because we must... Now, while I fully understand certain...feelings...you must be having, as it is perfectly normal for males of any species..."

Sage groaned again deeply, resting his hand in his black hair on the side of his head.

"I will try to dissuade you from acting upon them as of yet, since you are far too young to be acting upon them, as is Miss Granger...although I understand that it is very difficult to ignore these impulses..."

"Oh Merlin," Sage muttered under his breath. Then he thought, 'this is worse than the last three times!'

"Don't you 'Oh Merlin!' me, Sage. Do you think that all of this is enjoyable for me? I'd rather not think about whatever you may want to be doing with Miss Granger, or anything that you have already done for that matter!" He said snidely.

"No, sir," he answered, "I expect it's about as enjoyable for you as it is for me."

Severus raised an eyebrow at the sarcasm, but let it pass in order to continue on with his lecture.

Sage raised an eyebrow back testily, shaking his head.

"The point is, Sage, that I will not have her parents sending me Howlers or anyone banging on the door trying to cut off some of your more important anatomy."

Sage winced considerably at this statement and fought the desire to close his legs together.

"Now that I have your attention. You will not use said part of your anatomy. You will not be doing anything of the sort in my house-."

"Enough already, sir, I get the picture," he said, pleadingly. Sage wanted nothing more than to go back out into the parlor and forget that the entire conversation even ever occurred. Especially since he had no plans to do anything of the sort when his Uncle was within miles of him. The thought of getting caught by the man was enough of a deterrent. The most he had planned was to sneak a few kisses, or maybe a good snog.

Severus leaned over the desk, the tips of his fingers resting on the top of the dark wood.

"I'll continue when you start listening, or you can be rude to your guest and prolong the affair."

Letting out another low, torturous groan, Sage waved a hand at him to continue, quite certain that if he opened his mouth, he wouldn't get out of the room anytime in the near future.

Narrowing his glare and pursing his lips tightly in seriousness, Severus appraised him with his black eyes.

"While I do not condone such relations before marriage as tradition dictates, I understand that is rather unreasonable. When the time does come, and I stress that you both should be of age, you will take responsibility and appropriate preventative measures. I will not have great nephews or nieces out of wedlock, nor do I fancy underage parents because I will not be changing any nappies anytime soon."

Sage paled in shock, "Uncle, for the sake of the Gods! I'm not an idiot!" He cried out, exasperated with the lecture.

"Hormones and growing into sexual maturity can make you into the worst sort of idiot. You will begin thinking with the wrong head."

Sage pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling utterly uncomfortable. I cannot believe he just said 'head', he thought, finding knots in his stomach.

"If you cannot figure out on your own the spells you need to know to prevent conception when you are going to...ask me...I'd rather have that than...the alternative."

"I think I can figure it out on my own, sir," he answered, his skin crawling at the idea of talking to his Uncle about the intricacies of romantic relations. I certainly will not be asking you.

Drumming his fingers on his desk, Severus continued, "I believe Miss Granger will keep a level head about this. She is a sensible girl. I also know that you care enough about her that her wishes about...getting closer...will keep you from doing anything impulsive."

Sage fought the desire to roll his eyes thinking, So now I am unsensible... What exactly does he think I am going to turn into, a walking erection? Has he not thought that maybe I might have some nerves about 'getting closer'.

"Now, I believe we are through here. However, do not forget what we've been talking about or I will be forced to have this discussion yet again."



Hermione sat on the couch nursing her mint tea as Sage and Professor Snape walked out of the room. She exhaled softly, it wasn't quite as nerve- racking as she thought it would be, visiting Sage. Surprisingly enough, she found that Professor Snape was very different from how he was at Hogwarts. He was still stoical and snide and sarcastic, but he wasn't mean or intimidating. At least... he wasn't as intimidating as he was at Hogwarts. She was still a little on edge around him.

Her ears picked up voices coming from the study and she turned her head to hear better.

She blushed considerably, feeling the heat on her cheeks. Professor Snape was talking to Sage about sex!

Hermione couldn't believe it. The Professor was talking to Sage about testosterone and, er, feelings. She giggled, 'feelings?!?' I guess it is different for boys... Mom just told me that it was a special gift to be given to the person who will become a special gift to your life. She chuckled again. This was so funny.

She turned all the way around in her seat to see if she could hear more.

For the next few minutes. She alternated in between giggling and blushing uncontrollably. It was utterly embarassing knowing that Professor Snape was actually thinking about her and Sage's private life! He also seemed to think that there was much more going on than there really was, which was also embarassing in and of itself.

One fleeting thought made her pale considerably. She was relieved that she wasn't in there as well!

Author's Notes

WOW, thanks for all the reviews guys! The next scene wasn't quite where I wanted it yet, so I stopped with this so that I could post. I was beginning to fear Vanyaria Darkshadow's spamming capabilites!

anothermadeupaddressI've.never.met.vanyaria.com – Ahhh Spam! I was working all day today, so this is the first time that I have gotten to the PC. Little taste of what is to come!

Ibk – glad that you are still out there reading! Zthanks for dropping me the note

Not Vanyaria – THERE IS SAGE AND SEVERUS SEX TALK MERCHANDISE??? Do I get a cut of the profits, lol?

Oihane – you make me blush! Glad youa re anticipating the sex talk. What were your fav lines in this chappie?

Dave – Sorry about the chapters being short, but unless everyone wants to wait at least a week for me to write longer chapters, they have to be short. About 5 people spam me or otherwise harrass me if I don't post quickly, so yup, I have to make concessions. ;-) Snape and Hermie will have more interaction nexrt chappie. Sage doesn't have an evil mind yet.

Linden – SNAPE HAD ROAST DUCK! Does that make you feel better, lol? This chappie is for you, girl. I'm sending my sympathies to you! I hope that this chapter brings a smile to your sad face and few giggles as well. I KNOW 500 reviews on Merlin! Celebration!

SevHermioneSnape – Thanks for reading the story. Hope you like the sex talk! Let me know what you think. The code of arms thing was a typo. I have no time for betas, lol. I work 2 jobs and train horses!

Lucius and Snape Rock – Sorry about the cliffies, lol. Thanks for dropping me a note. I wasn't trying to be evil!

Diaphanous – Good to hear from you again! I am glad that you are still reading. I hope you like the rest of the sex talk.

Ramona - ;-) I used to be happy with 2 or 3 reviews, but with 30 something people having me on there favorites list, most of whom never ever review, you get a little flustered, lol. ( Let me know if the sex talk lived up to what you thought it would be.

Aellyr – You can't have a heart attack because how the hell would you be able to finish your story! When will you update BTW. I can't wait!

Allicat – Snape's estate is pretty grand. It lends itself to the entire pureblood tradition hoopla, etc. I hope Sev made you laugh in this chapter too. It wasn't easy to write!

VD – the family does have magnificent taste, doesn't it? We both know how you feel about the two Snape men. With your diligent reviewing, maybe I can arrange for you to take Hermione's place. I mean, you are my oldest reviewer!!! Your spam gave me a good laugh. Sorry I kept you waiting. I posted ASAP, I swear!

While you are waiting for my updates... I suggest any of these author's stories...

Vanyaria Darkshadow
Linden Winter
Aellyr
Elssha
TwilightsMuse

Tell them I sent you (see next chappie for more reading recommendations!)