Chapter 6

Why Not

Sara was very lucky she only had morning lectures that day. She'd spent the better part of the afternoon and into the evening sipping coffee and marking. Intermittingly seeing students with questions.

"Miss Sidle," came a deep voice followed by a knock on her door. Sara looked up to see her smiling TA.

"Jake." She forced a smile on her lips as he closed the door. "Can I help you?" She folded her hands on her test papers.

Jake leaned over her desk. "We have that tutorial tomorrow… and I was wondering if we could prep. At your place," He gave her a sly smirk, his eyebrows wiggling.

Sara sighed and looked down. "Jake- I have a lot of work to do tonight." She looked up at him seriously.

"I'm your assistant-" She held up her hand cutting him off, she didn't need this, not now.

"No really, Jake, not tonight." She pinned him with a hard look until another knock sounded at her door, causing her to jump slightly.

"Come in." She called her glare on her TA's, still.

"Sara?" Gil's voice was soft.

"Gil." She looked past Jake, to the man in the door way. He was nervous looking, hand fidgeting with themselves and his eyes fixed on Sara's

"Is this…" He trailed off noting the young man in the room, his hands moving between them, wondering if he'd walked in on something. He hoped so.

"No, this is my TA, Jake. Jake this is Doctor Grissom." She introduced them watching as the men shook hands. "Jake was just leaving." Sara motioned him to the door, hoping he could take a hint.

Jake narrowed his eyes at the older man but nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow… Sara." And with that, he left.

Gil quirked an eyebrow at her. "Do you always use personal names with your help." He'd her suspiciously.

Sara nodded. "I like a friendly environment." She shrugged, lying slightly as she sat back in her rather large brown faux leather chair.

Gil thought for a second before accepting her answer. "May I?" He motioned to the chair after closing the door. Sara nodded and put her pen down, curious as to why exactly he'd come.

He sighed and looked down at his now folded hands. It was now or never. He had felt terrible about the way he'd dismissed her. "Sara, I'm sorry-" He began.

Sara held up her hand and cut him off. "No Gil, I should be. I shouldn't have expected you to forgive me. Especially after what I did, how I left. I'm sorry I wasn't thinking." She said softly, her voice sincere. She was sorry, so very sorry for more than just expecting him to forgive her. She was sorry for leaving like she had, or… leaving period.

Gil nodded his head slowly, she was right, but he had to ask her. "Do you… Do you regret it?" He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

The question came slight from left field for Sara. But, as if rehearsed she answered, speaking surely and calmly. "I regret leaving the way I did. I don't regret leaving though. I was so…"

"Not Sara." He finished in a hushed whisper, he understood. Gil had watched her day in and day out. Watched as Sara slipped further and further away from him, only to be replaced by this woman he didn't know. "You looked so… blank all the time. Like the light was gone." He whispered, finally catching her gaze with his own.

Sara bit her lip gently. "It was." She answered. "I felt so lost, that not even you could have helped me. I watched myself hurt you everyday, and I couldn't do it any longer." I loved you too much. "I had to leave, and I knew you'd stop me and I wasn't strong enough to say no, so I ran." She shook her head, looking down. Sara hadn't at all intended to tell him this, she honestly hadn't expected him to bring it up.

"I could have come." His voice barely audible at this point, eyes back to the floor, staring at it intensely.

Sara shook her head sighing. "I wouldn't have recovered. I need to be alone, work things out in my head." She answered as gently as possible.

Truth was, if he had him with her, she would be just as bad now as she was two years ago. Sara needed away from Vegas, she needed that space. He had been too much of a reminder of the nightmare she'd gone through. She knew deep down, they wouldn't have lasted if she kept up the way she did. There was no chance.

"I'm sorry I… was hovering over, you." His words caused Sara to wince.

"Gil…" She sighed softly, a frown clear on her delicate features. "You were concerned, you never were hovering, and I just needed to figure things out." Sara said honestly, leaning forward.

Gil stared into her chocolate eyes for a second before nodded. He understood, of course he would.

"Gil, would you like to go for coffee before my tutorial tomorrow?" She asked, sucking in a breath, waiting for his answer.

Sara watched as he thought, she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head and she got nervous, almost positive that he'd shoot her down, again. Why not? I would.

"Eight o'clock? The Starbucks across the street." He said surely, offering her a small nod. Leave it to him, to make the plans.

Sara couldn't help but smile and nodded quickly, shock evident on her face. "Yes, eight," She laughed gently, placing her pen in the holder.

He stood, her smile infectious, it always had been. "I should get going then…" He pointed over his shoulder. "Yea, me too," She stood as well, packing up her stuff.

Gil walked to the door but stopped just short of the exit. "Good night Sara." He turned to look at her one last time before he went home.

"Good night Gil, sweet dreams." She smiled and watched as he turned, leaving her alone in her now silent room.

I probably don't deserve that…


To Be Continued...

It's a bit of a filler chapter, I know. Hope ya'll liked it :D. Thank you to my beta 3

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