A million thoughts raced through Uma's mind. She could barely process the words she was reading. Her eyes stared at the papers in her hands as she read and reread the sloppy handwriting. Her first mate's confessions. The only sentence her brain seemed to be able to comprehend was that he didn't think she cared about him. That and the fact he had a brother she never knew about. He complained about his sisters all the time but he'd never once mentioned Thomas. The two ideas kept repeating themselves in her head over and over again, like an endless loop.
Why would he ever think I didn't care? How could he even think that? I do care! More than he could possibly imagine.
There is no way in hell I'd ever kick him off the team. I need my first mate just as much as he needs his captain. He's Harry Hook; my Harry Hook. I love the boy.
God, I'm such a horrible captain. He may be my first mate, he's still a crew member and I should've realized sooner something was off. This is my fault.
If only I've acted sooner.
I may not say it much, or like ever, because we are on the isle but Harry, I love you and Gil. I love both of you. I feel this everyday and I never want to see you unhappy. I would do anything for you to smile again.
Of course, Uma had always known Harry had the crazies in him. She knew he had secrets, just like they all did. She knew the dark haired pirate was wild, unpredictable and slightly off-kilter. But that was just what made him himself.
She wished she could make herself walk the plank as punishment for being so blind. How, in eight years, could she had never thought to ask how he was doing? She remembered the first time she'd seen him act a little strangely. It was six years ago, during a night storm much like the one he nearly drowned during a few months back. He had assured her he was fine and she had let it slide. She didn't follow up on it like she should have. Uma felt guilty about it; she should've done some digging. That's what any good friend (she wasn't his captain yet) would've done immediately after the slightest change in behaviour.
I really do want to help him. The only question is how? There aren't exactly any doctors around here... Sure we all know a thing or two about healing physical wounds but that's only because we don't have a choice. We know nothing of mental health. I know nothing of mental health. If only we lived on the mainland! We'd be able to ask some sort of specialist for help.
"I..." she opened her mouth but closed it almost immediately after, unsure of what to say. What could she possibly tell him after reading about the hallucinations, the family troubles and his drunk-ass dad?
Meanwhile, Gil was having trouble keeping the tears from falling out of his big brown eyes. The sensible boy's heart physically hurt him, like a hand was squeezing it inside his chest. He couldn't wrap his mind around what Uma just read. Without bothering to ask Uma for consent, he approached Harry to free him. These thoughts ran faster than lightning inside his head as he undid the knots.
Harry... he's broken. It was my job to protect him; to protect him and Uma. I failed him... them. Harry's lost it now. Uma's trying to stay strong but I know she's hurting inside.
How could I not realize he needed to know we were family? I assumed he knew but maybe that's just me? I don't know anymore, sometimes when I talk too much he says I see things others don't. Maybe it was a hint?
I should've helped him out. Bad Gil. If only I knew what was going on. Uma would never leave him and neither would I.I love him. And Uma. They are my favorite people in the world, I'd do anything for them.
Harry stayed quiet the whole time, looking defeated as his head hung low, no signs of cockiness present in his features any longer. He stared blankly as Gil untied him. He didn't move until his hands, then his upper body were unrestrained. The young boy dragged himself down the stairs and to the lower deck were his cabin was. He made it to his bed in a zombie-like trance.
Harry slumped onto it, facing the wall, his knees hugged up to his chess. His breathing was faster than normal, muttering a few incoherent words under his breath. The poor boy was hearing things again.
Usually, he wouldn't react in front of his sea goddess and his ray of sunshine but what was the point? They already knew, so Harry didn't bother to hide anymore.
"You will die." Said one of the voices in his head.
Harry whimpered. He rocked back and forth slightly.
"You are worthless." Whispered a raspy voice in the back of his mind."Pathetic.""A loser.""No one loves you."
Harry wanted to cry now. A single tear ran down his cheek and he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the voices. Behind him, he felt mouvement and tensed up. He protested weakly: "No, stop. Stay away from me."
Gil cuddled next to him. "I'm so sorry." The muscular blond kid apologized, even tough his friend's problem had nothing to do with him. On the isle, those words were never, ever heard.
If they were, it was either mockingly or jokingly; all a lie. Never truly honest. This time however, the genuineness in Gil's voice was so strong the only way you couldn't hear it is if you were deaf. He held Harry tightly in a side hug, which meant he was doing another rare thing for the isle: hugging.
Uma squeezed herself into the small spot between her two boys. She rubbed Harry's back in circles and leaned her head against his shoulder. The three of them stayed like that for a while, enjoying the peacefulness and comfort they brought each other.
Harry began to relax under Uma's comforting touch. Uma, leaning into her first mate, kept rubbing his back and kissed his neck slowly. And right next to them, Gil was wearing a more serious look in his eyes than he ever had before. He looked over Uma and Harry, his arm rubbing Uma's leg.
"Guys, I can't." Announces Harry abruptly, getting up to leave. The voices in his head were getting louder and louder. They were practically screaming now and Harry couldn't take it. He took one last look at his friends. His wonderful Uma, with her dark eyes and beautiful hair. She was gorgeous but Harry didn't only love her for her looks. He loved that she was a confident and passionate leader who was simply amazing. He would surely miss her. And Gil. His adorable Gil, with his blonde hair and brown eyes. His childlike innocence was what made him so unique in the isle that destroyed childhoods. He was always so positive and happy and Harry hated himself for wanting to leave him. They were his best friends, his lovers. But he had enough and he needed to go.
He turns around one last time upon reaching the door. The young boy offered his final goodbyes. Uma and Gil stared at him in a stunned silence. "Uma, it was an honor to be yer first mate." He looked over at Gil and smiled sadly. He added softly: "Goodbye my sunshine" He turned on his heels and left without even glancing back, his heart pounding in his chest.
As if a spell was suddenly broken, Uma regained control of her body. "Harry!" She exclaimed, rushing after her best friend and lover who was leaving the boat. Gil followed her quickly, worry in his eyes. She grabbed Harry by the sleeve and dragged him forcefully back down to the room and pushed him onto the mattress.
She takes his hand into hers and looks straight into his blue eyes. They are filled with sadness, regret and crazinesss as well as fear.
"Harry." Says Uma gently. "Me and Gil would never leave you. We can help you. You don't have to be afraid."
Harry hesitantly glances over at Gil who gives a thumbs up and nods vigorously in sign of his approval to Uma's words. Harry turns back to Uma, the hopeful question for real? shining in the back of his eyes.
Uma nods and open up her arms, ready to welcome his body in for a tight embrace. Harry leans into them and loses his composure. Gil sits down next to him and Harry starts crying onto Uma's shoulder.
"U-Uma." He sobs. "I-I see 'em bloody crocs all the time. It's so horrible, ah just don't know what to do." He paused and pulled back a bit. He mutters: "It would be easier if I just died, you know."
She pats his back a little awkwardly and let's him cry into her chest. She was a little startled by his loss of composure. His words about dying... that was a scary thought and Uma wasn't sure how to deal with them. As soon as her first mate had started shaking and sobbing, she just wanted to hug him and hold him tightly forever. But for his sake, she'd have to stay strong. She'd never actually seen him cry before. She had comforted children often, other members of the wharf rats too sometimes. Even Gil came to her all upset from time to time. But Harry? Never.
He hadn't even shed a tear when he fell from the crow's nest and broke his arm (he says he got pushed off but now that Uma knew the truth, she suspected he had been subject to yet another hallucination).
Gil however felt a different emotion. He too had heard Harry's words and they left him angry. He pulled Harry away from Uma. "You are not killing yourself. Understand?" He yelled harshly, fury in his eyes. His fists were clenched tightly. He didn't want to lose Harry. He was mad at him for thinking about suicide. Gil remembered his mother, Loretta... He wanted to cry at the thought of the woman but instead, he shaked a shocked Harry. "Understand?"
"Y-yes." Answered Harry, eyes wide. He had never seen Gil so angry. Gil calmed down and sat on the bed. Harry sat between his legs and leaned onto his chest. Uma curled up next to them and rested her hand on Harry's lap. "Good boy." Said Gil calmly, gently running his hand through Harry's short and messy hair. He pulled Harry's head backwards and kissed his forehead. "Because I could never lose you."
Harry hated that he was being so weak, so pathetic. He couldn't help it. He cried his heart out and decided, for the first time in almost a decade to give his trust to someone. Ever since a young age, he was taught that Please and Help were signs of weakness. His father told him the weak ones died. To survive on the isle, one must never show their flaws and only let people see their strongest sides. It took a lot out of Harry to stutter the dreaded P and H words, along with a third forbidden one.
"P-please. Help me... loves."
His captain nods seriously and kisses his soft lips. Gil wraps his arms around Harry and pulls him tighter into his warm embrace.
Exhausted, the dark haired pirate gave out a loud yawn. A worried expression appeared on his face as he turned wide eyed towards Uma and Gil. "Don't leave me..." he pleaded in a sad and worried tone, trying to fight off the sleepiness. He was afraid his friends would leave him while he slept.
"Shh." Hushed Uma softly. "We'll be right there when you wake up."
"Yeah, we're like family." Added Gil, smiling. "More than that even. We are lovers and we aren't leaving you, we promise." Concluded Uma, pushing the covers down. Not entirely reassured but unable to fight any longer, Harry let his eyelids close and fell asleep quickly. Uma and Gil tucked him in gently, adoringly staring at his resting figure.
Not wishing for Harry to wake up in the middle of the night and find himself alone, the two pirates decided to bunk with him. Gil went to Uma's room and grabbed a few extra blankets. They huddled close to each other, watching Harry carefully as he slept.
Uma and Gil sat in silence, both lost in deep reflexion. The blue haired witch wondered how to address Harry's problem while the blonde boy simply worried about his friend.
Uma had many plans but none of them seemed to fit for what she needed. Realizing she didn't have much of a choice, the girl sighed.
Her plan was very risky and it would take a certain amount of time to set everything up. But if it worked, her and her crew would be in Auradon in no time. Then, she could get help with Harry's problem.
It was an awful thing really, to ask your enemies for help. It was a real blow to their pride and the VKs, especially the pirate ones, had quite a bit of ego.
But for Harry, Uma was ready to do absolutely anything.
Thanks for reading! Any form of comments or reviews are alsways appreciated.
Part two of this story will be posted around December 21! Keep your eyes open for a story called Neverboys.
