****Hello everyone! Getting better. Still sick though. Wash your hands everyone! Here is chapter 7!

This is Rosalie's POV, the month is August, and remember...Rosalie is British.

Enjoy and REVIEW!

PS: i have a four-day weekend from school! YAYYY! So i will be writing, writing, writing! Tomorrow, i will not post because i want to write more chapters to the story so i can keep posting every day. So anyways, enjoy!


LOLAH: spillz! So wanna hear that!

ladybugsmomma: yay! That makes my day!

addicted2svu2010: glad that you're loving it!


Chapter 7:

When we get home, I run straight to my room and grab my diary. I like writing in it. At first I thought it was lame, but now I think its great. When I finish writing, I think about what Janet said. Three meals? I can't eat that much! I'll get fat again. All the dieting I did, everything I gave up. To gain the weight back. No...just no. I'll eat, so Mom can 'rest easy', but I'll purge it up. I have to lose weight, I need to keep going. I feel hidious. Disgusting. I strip off my clothes and look into my mirror.

"Shit, look at all this. This is disgusting. I need to work on my arms as soon as possible, and my stomach. Dear God, my thighs are massive. I can't believe this!"

I can't bear to look at myself anymore. I put my clothes back on and grab my diary again.

*S*V*U*

Lunch. Ugh, just kill me now. Well...it's a salad...but I don't know if it has any calories and fat in it! Mom sits next to me, eating her own salad. She probably doesn't know...or doesn't care about the fat going into her body. I chew on some lettuce, but each time I swallow, my mind keeps telling me: Rosalie that is making you fat. Do you want to be fat again?

"Rosie, Dr. Ragner said you needed to eat at least two meals," Mom says. I peer over to see Mom's salad gone, and mine barely touched.

"Rosalie I'm getting tired of this. I made this specially, now eat,"

"No," I answer firmly, getting up and heading towards my room.

"Sit. Now," Mom demands, following me.

"Leave me alone!" I yell, slamming the bedroom door behind me. I slide down to ground, leaning against the door. Suddenly, I hear muffled crying. Mom's crying. I feel guilty. I didn't want to make Mom cry. Deep down, I hear myself say,

"Rosalie, you should stop,"

I actually want to stop. I don't want to starve myself anymore. I don't want to make myself throw-up. I don't want to live in this nightmare...but in my mind, it keeps telling me to keep going. It keeps telling me that I need to lose weight. I begin telling myself to stop this, but the voices in my head won't have it.

"Rosalie you'll get fat, you'll get fat!"

It gets louder and louder. I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my ears. Hoping it would all go away. Tears stream down my face in anguish. At this moment, I would run over to Mom and have her hold me and tell me loving words, but I don't even know if she gave up on me for being this way. If she doesn't love me anymore.

*S*V*U*

Olivia's POV:

All I can do is cry. Not to get Rosalie to come out, but because I feel like I am the worst mother to roam the planet. Why did I let this happen? I am a goddamn detective! I have dealt with cases of women who developed eating disorders due to rape or abuse. I have seen the signs...but why didn't I even notice this happening to Rosalie? I am a monster. A terrible monster.

Suddenly, Rosalie's bedroom door opens. She comes out and looks at me. She has tear streaks on her cheeks. She opens her mouth, about to say something...but instead she bursts into tears. I go over to her and pull her into a hug. I hold her tightly, crying a little myself.

"Mommy, I'm sorry," she says, between sobs.

"I know, sweetie. I know," I answer. "Shussh, I know it's hard, baby, but you just got to try,"

"It's just so hard!" she wails.

I can feel her pain. My heart being twisted into knots, climing up my throat. My little girl, my pride and joy. My everything. Suffering. It not only hurts her, but its hurting me too. While she is killing herself, I am in the background, watching this happen. Tied up, so I couldn't move. I could only watch.

"Mom...I don't want to do this anymore. Starve myself," Rosalie whispers, her crying turning into hiccups. "I'll go to Dr. Ragner, I'll eat again, I won't throw up, I won't do this anymore...if you promise me one thing,"

I pull away and rub her cheek with my finger.

"What's that?" I ask.

"That you'll love me again,"

I gasp. I am silent and shocked. When I finally regain my voice;

"Rosalie, what do you mean 'you'll love me again'? I have always loved you from the moment you were born! Why would you ever think that?"

"Because..."

"Because why?" I push, wanting to know her answer.

"Because I'm not the daughter you want! I'm not the perfect happy daughter you aimed for. I am this horrible mistake from a one-night-stand which made Dad leave you. I'm not what you wanted! I have this horrible accent, while you have the normal American accent. You are athletic, smart, beautiful...and me? I am the total opposite. I am dumb, ugly, a mistake! I want to be the perfect daughter that is just like you and IS you...so you can love me and not be embarrased anymore,"

I realize now why Rosalie wanted to do this. To be a mini-me. I almost start crying again, but I didn't want to. Not at this moment.

"You are NOT a mistake! NEVER a mistake. I wanted you baby. Right from the beginning. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was the happiest woman in the world! I actually thank myself for meeting your father, because if I didn't, I would never have had you. My beautiful Rosalie. Right from the moment you were born, from the moment I first held you, I loved you more than anything in the world. More than my job, more than Elliot! So you have some differences that I don't have. So you have a british accent and I don't. I don't care! You are perfect to me baby. I wouldn't want anything to change. I will always love you until the stars stop shining,"

Rosalie is quiet. I hug her again.

"You will always be my baby Rosalie. Always,"