A/N: Alrighty an update. I have a few things to mention before you continue reading the story so please bear with me. The first thing is the length of this chapter. While writing this there were so many scenes I wanted to put in the story and a lot of them fell into the following chapter. As a result this chapter is quite long. Very long in fact. If you have to rush out the door to go to work in fifteen minutes time (you know who you are lol) I suggest you start reading when you come home because we are sitting at an 18,000 word count here people.
The second thing is that I would like to point out I am not a medical expert. Like Jake I have zero experience when it comes to pregnancy and cancer treatments. I have changed a few things to fit the story but mostly I have tried my best to make it as accurate as possible. However I have had to use the internet aka Google for my research so I'm sure there will be some mistakes. I also have very limited experience with babies and children under ten years old. Truth be told they scare me a little lol. So I am apologizing in advance if there are any medical or child development mistakes.
Thirdly I have noticed that quite a few other fics have a sound track for them. I have a set of songs that I listen to basically on repeat while I write that remind me so much of this story and I was wondering if you guys would like me to share that with you. Don't worry it's not a complete emo fest either. Let me know either way. If yes then I will post another discussion entitled Soundtrack and have a list of songs plus You Tube links so that you can watch the film clips. If no then I will keep it to myself and dance in my computer chair as I write lol.
Fourthly I would like to give out a few shout outs. This chapter is for Taylor'sLizzie who was born on a Thursday and reviews epically. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, I really appreciate them. This is also for Tamfan who has made me feel so welcome on this site. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, you are fantabulous. I would also like to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story. Your opinion is so powerful and it is so wonderful to hear from you all. I know I've said it before but you all deserve to hear it again. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. It makes my day when I see such kind words. This is my first story and I know there are mistakes with the spelling and grammar (partly because I am without a Beta and also because I suck at grammar) so thank you for being patient with me. Also I apolgize for the crappy lay out of the last chapter. I accidently pulished it before editing it.
Ok enough of my boring blubbering. Go and read and enjoy it :D
Chapter Five
Thursday
I wiped my oil stained hands on my work pants and sighed. I was trying to avoid the fact that the engine in front of me needed a complete overhaul and I couldn't be arsed doing it. This is why they pay you the big bucks, my mind snickered. I was just about to resign myself to having to work solely on this car and not on any of the others that were back logged in the garage's car lot when a familiar voice called out.
"Jake you here man?" Embry's voice echoed through the garage.
"I'm up the back!" I yelled from under the hood. I heard Embry approach but I didn't move from under the vehicle. What the hell have these people been doing to their car; I wondered, my fingers sliding over the excess oil and grease that coated every part of the engine. I felt Embry's body heat as he stood next to me. He let loose a low whistle.
"Damn that thing is fucked," he commented, peering into the engine bay. I pulled back and reached up, slamming the hood shut.
"Yeah tell me something I don't know. Pass me that," I said pointing to a bunch of oily rags behind him. He grabbed one and tossed it to me.
"How come you're not at work?" I asked, snatching the rag out of mid air.
"Got the day off," he bragged. Lucky bastard, I thought. It was only Tuesday and I couldn't wait for the weekend. I was seriously considering abusing my Alpha rights and rearranging the patrol schedules so I could spend the whole weekend with Bella.
"What can I do for you Embry? If you're here to try and get Thursday night off you can forget it, you already had last Wednesday off," I told him, wiping my hands on the rag, moving toward the deserted office. I was the only one in today so I didn't have to worry about being overheard about pack business. Embry didn't reply and I glanced over my shoulder at him. Normally Embry is as cool as a cucumber, never rising to anger or letting small things stress him out. So it was unusual to seem him fidgeting with a random spanner he had picked up and staring at it like it held the answers to the mysteries of the world.
"Are you all right?" I asked, turning to face him and leaning against another car, stuffing the oily rag into my pocket. Embry just shrugged, turning the spanner over and over in his hands. I glanced down at his hands, noticing the tremble in them. Embry was nervous.
"Hey what's up? You're staring at that spanner like it's going to reveal Angelina Jolie's phone number," I joked trying to break the mood. Embry cracked a small smile before tossing the spanner into the wrong draw of my tool set.
"You know I don't go for Angelina now that she's got a million kids," he said, running a hand through his short hair. He leant against the driver's side door of the car I had been working on, crossing his ankles in front of him. He looked up at me with a grin.
"Speaking of kids though I heard you knocked Bella up," Embry said crossing his arms over his chest.
"How'd you know that? Did Bells tell you?" I asked, shocked. I had managed to keep Bella's pregnancy out of my mind while phased, but only just. We had only told Charlie and Billy two days ago, but hadn't gotten round to letting the pack in on the secret.
"No I went round to Billy's when you weren't at your place. He mentioned it when I asked where you were," Embry replied and I held back a frustrated sigh. My father was worse than a nineteen year old with a black berry and an addiction to face book when it came to gossip.
"It was a bit of a surprise," I admitted.
"Billy said you two were going to keep it," Embry said after a long pause. His face was carefully kept blank and for a moment it reminded me of the days when he was in the pack and I wasn't. He had changed overnight, becoming a complete stranger to me who just so happened to be wearing Embry's face.
"Yeah we are," I replied, my brows coming together in a frown. I still wasn't sure that was the best idea but I had promised Bella I would support her.
"Are you sure that's wise?" Embry asked, echoing my thoughts. He unfolded his long arms and rested one hand on the hood. I watched as it dented the metal a little. I pointed at his hand and he glanced down and stopped accidentally damaging the already ruined car.
"Not really, but what else can we do?" I sighed, walking over to inspect the damage. It was just a little dent I could pop it out later.
"How did Charlie take it?" Embry questioned, shrugging away from the car.
"Ok I guess. He did say it was a good thing we were already married or he would have been busting out the shot gun," I chuckled at the memory. Charlie's face had gone from white to red to purple and then back to white again all in the space of half a minute. I had thought he was going to bust the vein in his forehead from the pressure.
"Drama, drama, drama," Embry said shaking his head. I laughed at him.
"You watched Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen?" I guffawed, my sides shaking.
"Hey you knew where the quote was from, so don't laugh at me," Embry pointed out and I quickly stopped snickering. Embry turned his back to me and all of the joking fell away. His hands were twitching nervously again. He didn't turn around when he spoke.
"Jake I've been thinking," he said quietly.
"Did it hurt?" I quipped and he spun around with a frown on his face.
"Real funny asshole," Embry scowled, flashing me the finger. I laughed and waved my hand at him, gesturing for him to continue. Embry bit his lip and waited a moment before speaking.
"I think you should tell Bella about Cullen," He said seriously. The stranger Embry face was back on again and I sighed. I brought a dirty hand up to my face and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes.
"Embry-" I started wearily, having had this conversation before. He cut me off before I could continue.
"Seriously Jake, she's gonna be pissed when she finds out. She deserves to know and you know it," Embry explained his logic flawless. I opened my eyes and glared at him. I didn't need another lecture from him on how to deal with my relationship.
"I know that," I snapped.
"Well why haven't you told her?" he demanded irritably. I rolled my eyes at him. I had already told him why no less than five times how was he not getting this?
"Because she's pregnant and sick and I don't want to add any more problems," I explained sarcastically. Embry scoffed and shook his head.
"I don't think that's it. I reckon you think she'll take one look at the leech and jump back into his arms," he accused. I winced, Embry's remark hitting a little too close to home. First and foremost I didn't want Edward around Bella because I knew it would upset her. I could admit freely that she had loved him at one point in her life and a visit from and ex is never fun at the best of times. But this wasn't the best of times and I couldn't stand the thought of Bella getting sick again as a result from an avoidable emotional upheaval.
But that wasn't my only reason, although I didn't like to admit it, even to myself. Edward made me feel more than a little insecure. He had years on me, heaps of money and bloody Aston Martin. I knew Bella didn't go for the material good but still, he could offer her more of that world than I ever could and that fact bugged me. Plus she had loved him. She had left me without a backwards glance when he was in trouble in Italy and a small part of me was worried that if she had seen the face I had seen in that hotel lobby she would leave me for him. Again.
"So what?" I said defensively. I crossed my arms over my broad chest and tried to play it cool. I was pretty good at hiding what I was feeling; at least on the surface but what Embry had said had rattled me. I could tell him wasn't falling for my show of bravado.
"You should trust her," Embry told me gently. His stranger face was gone now and he looked worried.
"I do trust Bella. I trust her with my life dammit," I growled at him.
"Well then it shouldn't be hard to tell her about the leech then. You said yourself you didn't want any more problems but I guarantee you this will blow up in your face," he said. I shrugged and looked away.
"You know I'm right," Embry's voice was so soft I barely heard him.
"Yeah I know," I admitted. Embry gave me a sad half smile.
"You will do the right thing," he said confidently. I glanced down at him in surprise. Embry used to be the most irresponsible and reckless of the pack. Always out until four in the morning, coming home with a different girl each night. Since shaking up with Nadia, Embry had changed. Matured I guess. It wasn't a bad thing but it was still a little hard to get used to.
"Why do you even care?" I asked him.
"Because I'm your friend," he said simply. He punched me in the arm on the way past me.
"Besides if you don't tell Bella then I will," he yelled over his shoulder as he walked out of the garage.
"Do it and I'll order you to clean every surface of my house with a tooth brush!" I hollered at his retreating back. I heard him laugh at my threat but I decided to drop it. I knew he was right but dammit I wished he wasn't.
My jaw cracked loudly as I yawned. I rested my hands on the cool tiles of the bathroom sink and studied my face in the mirror. My hair was getting long again; I needed to get Bella to cut it for me soon. I rubbed a hand over my eyes, the dark circles even more prominent today than yesterday. I grabbed the small can of shaving foam and my razor. Being a werewolf sucked for quite a few reasons but none more irritating than having to shave daily. If I didn't, I ended up looking like a homeless person in less than a week.
I rubbed the foam over my cheeks and neck, stubble prickling my fingertips. The constant patrols were killing me, plus having to work like crazy to save up as much money as I could. I closed my eyes for a moment and rested my forehead on the mirrors glass. I felt like I was asleep on my feet. Her scent arrived before she did and I opened my eyes to see Bella appear in jeans and an oversized shirt behind me. She leant against the door frame, her eyes worried and her over thinking face on in full force. I picked up a little towel and placed it on my bare shoulder using the mirror to keep eye contact with her.
"Did you just get back from patrol?" she asked, her voice echoing off the bathroom walls. I nodded and brought the razor to my cheek. Bella sighed and shrugged away from the wall. She grabbed a hold of my arm and stepped up onto the lip of the bathtub. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Give it to me," she said holding out her hand. I placed the razor in her palm and turned to face her, wrapping my arms around her thighs so she wouldn't fall. She rested her knees on my stomach and gently she scraped the razor over my cheek. She used the towel on my shoulder to wipe off the blade. It was a rare sunny day and the early Saturday morning sunlight flooded the bathroom from the window behind Bella, making her look like she was glowing.
We stood in silence as Bella ran the razor over my jaw and I found my eyes closing again listening to her breath, her heartbeat. It was like a lullaby to me. If I strained my ears I could hear the small thrumming within her. I ran my fingers over her thighs as Bella tugged on my hair softly, asking me without speaking to tip my head back. I bared my neck to her, my hands roaming higher now, circling her waist.
"I spoke to Embry the other day. He stopped by after patrol so I made him something to eat," Bella told me quietly.
"Mmmm," I hummed in response, not really paying attention to what she was saying. Bella's fingers on my chin turned my head to the left, and then ran along my jaw checking for missed spots.
"He mentioned something quite interesting," she continued.
"What was it?" I asked my voice croaking. I hadn't spoken since early last night having being in wolf form the whole time. Bella didn't answer right away; threading her fingers through my hair and pulling my head back again, running the razor slowly up my throat.
"He said you have the pack on red alert because Edward had been around," Bella said causally. My eyes snapped open and I dropped my jaw to look at her. My chin bumped her hand and she dropped the razor. It clattered to the floor splattering my legs with shaving foam.
"He did what?" I spluttered angrily.
"Jake you made me cut you," Bella scolded, grabbing the towel and pressing it to my neck. I hadn't even felt the sting of the cut and I didn't worry about it. It was most likely healed before Bella had even pulled the towel from my shoulder. I frowned at her as she applied pressure to the tiny nick.
"I told him not to say anything," I muttered under my breath. Bella peeked beneath the cloth before pulling it way from my neck and putting it back on my shoulder. She gestured to the razor on the floor.
"What did he say?" I asked as I bent down, snatching up the razor and shoving it into her hand.
"Just that Edward had been seen around Forks. Are you going to behave so I can finish?" she asked me. I tsked at her before letting my head fall back again, staring up at the white ceiling. I felt the cold razor blade on my neck again and addressed the roof.
"I'm going to kill Embry next time I see him," I grumbled. At least he hadn't told her about Cullen showing up on our honeymoon.
"No you won't," Bella told me calmly "Turn to the right for me."
"Yeah I will," I assured her, tipping my head in the direction she wanted.
"If you do then I will be even madder at you than I already am. And I'm technically holding a weapon right now Mr. Heals-Fast," Bella told me flatly, her fingers a little firmer on my jaw. I glanced down at her through my eye lashes. Her features were still and calm. She ran her fingers through the front of her hair, pushing it off her face before returning them to my chin.
"You don't look angry," I told her. Her eyes flickered up to mine for a second but her gaze turned away, concentrating on scraping up the last slivers of shaving foam.
"Trust me I am," she assured me. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. It was time to partake in an ancient male ritual, practiced and perfected over the ages; groveling.
"Bells, I'm really sorry. I know I should have told you but I didn't want to upset you. You were finally starting to get better and I was afraid if you knew Edward had been around you would have gotten distressed about it," I told her, my hands running up her slim arms reassuringly. She pulled her arms out of my grasp.
"When I was dating Edward he used to do this thing that really annoyed me. He used to lie to me because he thought that it would protect me. I seem to remember you getting in an argument with him in the school's parking lot saying that you would never do that to me," Bella's voice was sarcastic and stinging.
She grabbed the towel and wiped away the last of the shaving foam from my face. She clutched onto my shoulders and jumped down from the bathtub. I watched as she tossed the dirty towel onto the vanity and wash out the razor under the tap. She was frowning and her fingers shook as she snapped the plastic cap back on the shaving foam can. I was in deep shit and I knew it.
"This was different. I only did it so you wouldn't get hurt," I told her lamely, knowing she probably wouldn't buy it. Her eyes met mine in the mirror. I was in no way prepared for the next words that came out of her mouth.
"You know sometimes it really shocks me just how much you and Edward are alike," she whispered, shaking her head sadly. I felt my mouth drop open and hastily I closed it.
"I'm nothing like that blood sucking leech," I ground out, trying to keep control of my temper. Bella turned around and glared at me, her hands planted on her hips.
"Yeah well you sound just like him Jake," she accused, her voice rising sharply with anger. She brushed past me and I followed her out into the hallway. I grabbed her arm and turned her around to face me. She struggled and I let her go but by that point I had no control over my temper. And I completely lost it.
"What was I supposed to do? I was scared ok! I was scared that if I told you, you would get worse again. Do you know how much it kills me to see you wasting away because of the chemo? Forgive me if I didn't want to ruin the one time you were starting to get better," my voice exploded with anger, and it echoed off the walls of the hallway. Bella threw up her hands in exasperation.
"That's not fair Jake! You knew I didn't want to start chemo, I did that for you and now you're blaming me for the side effects?" she yelled at me, her hands back on her hips and her face defiant.
"I never said I was blaming you! You're putting words in my mouth Bella," I hissed at her, my hands coming up and pulling on my hair.
"This isn't really about chemo Jake and you know it. You felt threatened when Edward came back here, admit it," Bella snapped her beautiful face twisted with fury. My anger increased tenfold at that remark. She always thought Edward would hurt me, never thought I could take care of myself, despite how many vampires I had destroyed.
"Like fuck I did! I can take the blood sucker down any day!" I snarled, bending down so my face was inches from hers. She backed up but I followed her. She pressed her back against the wall and I placed two big hands on either side of her head, trapping her with my body.
"That's bullshit Jacob," She screamed at me, pushing on my shoulders. I didn't move. I was so mad my whole body was shaking.
"What are you saying I can't take him? Gee thanks Bella, nice to know you have faith in me," I ground out sarcastically. Bella's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"This isn't about you 'taking him' you idiot. You thought if I saw him again I'd dump you for him didn't you?" Bella screamed in my face, her eyes flashing. Embry was a dead man. I would kill him slowly for this.
"Well can you blame me Bella? Lord knows you did it before!" I roared at her.
"I can't believe you would say that to me. You talk about me not having faith in you, well it's a two way street Jacob," Bella yelled so loudly I though my ear drums would burst. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"I never said I didn't trust you!" I exclaimed violently, one of my hands curling into a fist and slamming into the wall. It went right through the plaster board and Bella jumped. She looked away from the new hole in the wall and glowered at me.
"Oh really Jacob? "Lord knows you did it before' huh? If that's not a lack of trust then I don't know what the fuck is," Bella's words dripped with sarcasm. It was a sign of how angry I was that I barely noticed Bella dropping the f-bomb. She pushed on my shoulders again and I moved back. She turned away from me marching toward our bedroom. I followed her and watched her grab her little over night back, stuffing random things into it.
"Where are you going?" I asked her, feeling a flutter of panic in my chest. Bella glared at me and snatched up her car keys from her bedside table.
"Home!" Bella snapped, storming past me zipping up the bag as she went. I reached out for her arm but she shrugged me off. I followed her down the hallway. Shit! This was spiraling out of control. I overtook her in the den, forcing her to stop.
"This is your home Bella," I said gently. Bella scowled and ducked past me, slipping past under my arm. Tears were rolling down her face now.
"I'm not staying here with you being such an asshole!" Bella screeched at me over her shoulder, slamming the front door into the wall with the force she used to rip it open. I followed her out onto the front lawn
"You can't go to Forks Bella. We still don't know if Cullen is sneaking around or not," I begged, my voice sounding more than a little desperate. Bella turned on her heel and strode up to me. She stopped inches away and poked my bare chest with her finger. She always did that when she was mad.
"I don't need you to protect me from him," she hissed at me, stabbing me with her finger with each word. My anger came flooding back and I threw my hands up in frustration.
"Fine! Go! See if I care," I growled at her. Bella turned on her heel again and stormed across the lawn. She threw the over night bag through the window before climbing up into the cab of her truck.
"Call me when you're not being such a dick," she yelled at me, slamming the door of the truck with a loud bang.
"Only when you stop being such a bitch," I hollered after her as she took of, flying down the street the fastest I had ever seen her drive. I turned around and went back inside, slamming the front door behind me.
I killed The Rabbit, pulling the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. I made my way slowly through the slush of dirty snow toward the little red house that used to be my home. I trudged up the stairs, not bothering to take off my boots before pushing the front door open. Glancing into the den I was not surprised to see Dad parked in front of the TV. He looked up when I came in and flashed me a smile.
"Hey son," he said in his deep gravelly voice. I collapsed onto the small loveseat next to him.
"Hi dad."
I stared at the game on the television while dad talked at me. I say talked at me because I was barely paying attention. It was really crap at home without Bella around. I had tried calling her an hour after she had driven off but I kept getting her voicemail. The next day I had tried again with no success either. I decided to back off and give her some time but I was missing her like crazy.
"Ok, what's wrong with you?" Dad asked, muting the television. I must have looked like shit if dad felt the need to mute a football game. I watched the silenced football players run around on screen for a few moments before answering.
"I had a fight with Bella," I told him, looking away from the screen. Calling it a fight was an understatement. The next door neighbor had come over ten minutes after Bella had bailed to make sure everything was ok. He had been about to call the cops because of all the yelling and door slamming.
"Ah the joys of marital bliss," Dad chuckled, turning his wheelchair around smoothly to face me.
"You're not helping dad," I muttered, turning back to the silent television. Someone scored a touchdown and the crowd started jumping around a cheering. Dad smacked my boot with his hand and I looked up at him.
"So has she been giving you the silent treatment or something? I remember when you were younger; nothing could make you grumpier than if Bella Swan ignored you," Dad asked, his eyes still sparkling with humor. It was bugging the hell out of me.
"Black," I snapped at him.
"What?" Dad shook his head at me, confused.
"Her last name is Black now dad. We got married remember, you were there," I told him sarcastically, sitting up on the tiny sofa. Dad raised his eyebrows at me and for a moment I felt like I was sixteen again and thought he was going to ground me for my cheek.
"Wow she really did a number on you," Dad said seriously, his brows coming together in the exact way mine did when I was thinking something over. My mom had always told me I looked exactly like my dad when he was my age. She had shown me pictures and she was right except for one thing. I had my mother's smile, everyone always told me that and the evidence was in the photos. It felt nice to know I had something from her, even if it was only a smile.
"You have no idea," I snorted, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees, my face in my hands.
"Well go back home and apologize for what ever it is that you did," Dad suggested. I heard the squeak of his wheelchair as he maneuvered it closer to me.
"What makes you think it was my fault?" I asked, raising my face from my hands. Dad looked like he was going to start laughing again.
"It doesn't matter if it was your fault or not Jake. I was married for 22 years before your mother died and if I learnt anything it was if you piss off your wife you get on your knees and grovel regardless of who was to blame," he said with a chuckle, reaching out and patting my fore arm. His hand was calloused and rough on my bare skin from working wood all of his life. Dad had taught me how carve wood when I was little but he was a master at it.
"That'd be hard for you," I joked, tapping his wheelchair with my knuckles. Dad laughed and I felt myself smile along with him.
"So go back home and apologize, it'll work out," Dad said reassuringly. I winced and looked away from him.
"Bella's not at home. She's been staying with Charlie for the past three days," I confessed, glancing back at Dad with a guilty look on my face.
"How is it you've only been married for less than two months and she's already moved out?" he sighed incredulously.
"I dunno, because I'm an idiot probably," I said, putting my head back into my hands.
"What did you fight about anyway?" Dad asked curiously.
"Edward Cullen showed up on our honeymoon and threatened to turn her into a leech," I muttered. The thought of that still flooded my veins with anger.
"And she got mad at you for that?" Dad asked, surprised. I lifted my head and shook it.
"Well no. I didn't tell her the blood sucker had been around and she sort of found out through the grapevine," I admitted. That grapevine being Embry who was now doing double patrols for a week. I felt dad's large hand smack into the back of my head.
"Ow what was that for?" I asked, running my hand over my head even though it didn't hurt. It was still human habit to say 'ow' when someone hit me despite the fact that I didn't feel any pain at all.
"You're an idiot. Why wouldn't you tell her?" Dad berated looking at me like I was insane.
"I know, I know. I was just…stupid I guess," I admitted
"Well go round to Charlie's then. If I were you I'd start off with that 'I'm an idiot' line," Dad advised me seriously but his eyes were laughing again.
"You reckon it's a good idea? Maybe I should give her some more time," I asked, screwing up my face with uncertainty.
"Don't be a chicken and go Jake," Dad huffed, rolling his eyes at me "Seriously she's tiny what is the worst she can do to you?"
I gave him a doubtful look. He had no idea what Bells was like when she was mad. Plus she was angry and pregnant and that made it twice as terrifying. Hormones were most definitely a bitch. Yes she barely made it to my chest when we stood next to each other but still angry Bella was scary.
"Go now," Dad ordered me, pointing toward the front door.
"Fine!" I conceded, pulling myself off the couch. I stomped my way over to the front door waving over shoulder as I went.
"If you two make up then you owe me," Dad said, following me out onto the porch.
"Sure, sure," I agreed, pulling the little silver car keys out of my pocket.
"I meant it; you have to mow my yard for this one," Dad hollered at my retreating back. I was glad I wasn't facing him so he didn't see the smile across my face.
I parked The Rabbit in Charlie usual spot and glanced through the windows at the familiar white weatherboards. I got out slowly, not bothering to lock the car door. I don't know why I didn't go to the front door, making my way round the side of the house instead. I grabbed a low branch of the tree I used to use every night when I would sneak into Bella's room and pulled my self up effortlessly. Bella's bedroom window was open of course. I slipped in with a small thud.
Bella glanced over her shoulder at me, sitting at her old desk with her ancient computer humming loudly. She arched a brow at me, turning in her chair to face my way.
"You know we have a front door. You could of have knocked on it and I would have let you in," she explained stiffly. I gave her a small smile before sitting down on the bed.
"Guess I felt like being sentimental," I joked softly, gesturing toward the open window. Bella didn't say anything, her eyes wandering over me as if she couldn't believe I was here. I didn't realize how much I had missed her until she was back in my frame of sight and my eyes ran over her features greedily. I mean I knew I had missed her but I didn't realize just how much until right then. My hands ached to touch her but I stayed on the bed.
"I've missed you," I told her and she dropped her gaze, worrying her lower lip.
"Yeah same here," Bella whispered. I decided to take dad's advice and slid off the bed. I grabbed her hand and knelt in front of her. Even though she was sitting on a chair and I was on the floor I was still slightly taller than her.
"Look, I know your still mad but hear me out ok?" I asked her and she nodded. I took a deep breath. Show time.
"All right, I know I should have told you about the le-Edward being about. I know I shouldn't have lied to you and trust me I regret it. And not because you caught me lying but because I deceived you and I shouldn't have and I'm really, really sorry Bells. I was an idiot and I've been going crazy without you. I'm so sorry," I told her seriously, my fingers rubbing soothing circles on her skin.
"Thank you," Bella said softly. She placed her free hand on my shoulder and nibbled on her lower lip again.
"Its ok," I told her, giving into my desire to touch her by running my fingers up her arms and over her shoulders.
"No its not. I shouldn't have blown up at you too Jake. I was just so mad but it was no excuse to start screaming at you like that. I'm sorry Jacob," Bella said with sincerity. I gave her a little smile and she mirrored it.
"You don't have to say that," I said but she shook her head at me.
"Yes I do. I took it too far and I shouldn't have yelled at you," Bella insisted.
"Thanks," I whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth. Bella turned her head and kissed me softly, sweetly. She pulled back after a moment and her hand on my shoulder reached up, playing with my hair at the nape of my neck.
"So what exactly happened with Edward?" she asked me. I had known this would come up and had told myself in the car to be one hundred percent truthful with her. I hoped she wouldn't freak out or be scared. Or worse, be tempted.
"He showed up in California-" I started but Bella cut me off.
"What?" she said in disbelief. I held up a finger. Bella reached up and grabbed my hand, twisting our fingers together and placing them in her lap.
"Let me finish. He showed up at our hotel you know that day you asked me to get some drinks? Well he had been sneaking around Forks and he had picked Charlie's brain so he knew where we were. I ran into him in the lobby," I confessed watching her face closely. Bella was like an open book and I could see the worry in her eyes. But what surprised me was the fury I saw in them too.
"I can't believe he did that!" she exclaimed angrily "He promised me he wouldn't ever butt in on our relationship."
"Well he's a vampire Bells, you can't trust them," I told her as if it wasn't plainly obvious.
"That's not very nice Jake," she scolded me, rolling her eyes.
"I'm just saying," I muttered. Bella snorted a little laugh. Her eyes widened suddenly as if she had just figured something out.
"Let me guess. Those men who were repairing the wall and the floor near the elevators the day we left, that was you two?" she summarized.
"Uh yeah it was," I admitted, trying my best not to look too guilty. The leech had deserved to be thrown around like that though. He didn't just cross a line he bloody well danced over it and I couldn't just let that slide. Bella gave me a disapproving look.
"Don't look at me like that he threatened you!" I exclaimed.
"Edward would never threaten me Jake," Bella sighed.
"He also said he would never butt in on you and me but we both know he didn't keep that promise. And he did threaten you," I pointed out.
"How?" Bella asked her face curious. This was the part I had been dreading. Once upon a time nothing would have made Bella happier than to hear that Cullen wanted to change her. I was certain that if everything was fine in our lives just now, she would never let him change her. I knew she loved me and she knew I would fight tooth and nail to stop her becoming a vampire. I had done it before and I had won. But everything wasn't fine at this moment in time and death was a powerful manipulator.
"He said he could fix you, make the cancer go away by changing you Bells," I told her making sure to keep my voice carefully neutral.
"Really?" Bella asked with incredulity.
"Yeah," I whispered. Bella dropped her face forward so I couldn't see it. She didn't look up at me for a long time and I started to panic. Maybe she wants to change; maybe she sees it as a real option? The thought of that hurt me, the possibility of Bella being anything other than she was now made my heart ache. Bella was silent, her dark hair brushing against our clasped hands.
"Is that something you have I dunno…maybe considered because of the whole, you know…" I trailed off, my voice jumpy and full of nerves.
"Dying from a terminal illness thing?" Bella supplied raising her head to look at me. Her face was soft and calm and she was smiling at me just a little.
"Yeah that," I gulped, squeezing her fingers with mine.
"No Jake," Bella answered, shaking her head gently. I felt my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I would of thought she would have at least have thought about it, maybe considered it but just hadn't told me.
"Really? Not even once?"
"Would you still want me if I was a vampire Jacob?"
"You know the answer to that," I said with a grimace. Bella kissed me gently and reached around with her free hand, her fingers dancing over my cheekbones.
"Jake I would rather spend only one year with you than become a vampire and have you hate me for all time. That wouldn't be living and I just can't live without you Jacob. So no, becoming a vampire has never once crossed my mind since I found out about the leukemia or since I choose you. That part of my life is well and truly over. I would never do that to you, hurt you like that," Bella told me, honesty ringing in her every word.
"Well that's good to know," I sighed and felt my shoulders relax. I hadn't realized how stressed out I had been about the thought that Bella might still want to change until that pressure was gone. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
"You don't have to worry about me leaving you for him either you know. Can't you tell that you're the only one I see?" Bella breathed earnestly against my cheek, kissing it once she stopped talking.
"All I see is you too Bells," I whispered, letting go of her hand and wrapping my arms around her. Her head dropped onto my shoulder and she snuggled into my embrace. She fit in my arms so perfectly, as if they had been made for the sole reason to hold her and protect her.
"Come back home?" I murmured in her ear, kissing her hair.
"I thought you'd never ask."
I ended up mowing dad's lawn when the snow cleared but I didn't care. It was definitely worth it.
"Bella let me in. I'm sure it's not that bad," I pleaded, banging my fist on the bathroom door.
"It's horrible. Go away!" Bella wailed through the door. I sighed and lent my forehead on the door. Even though Bella had stopped treatment the inevitable had finally happened. I had woken up this morning to long locks of Bella's hair strewn on the pillow and Bella locked in the bathroom refusing to come out. I didn't know if this was just a reaction to finally losing her hair or the fact that her hormones had to be going nuts with the pregnancy but I was at my wits end about what to do.
"Bella I don't care if you have lost your hair," I told her reassuringly.
"Yes you do! How could you find me attractive when I'm bald? And soon I'm going to be huge and fat. Huge and fat and bald!" Bella sounded hysterical. This was getting ridiculous. I knew it would be hard for her to loose her hair but it just did not matter to me if she was bald. I could look past that.
"Being pregnant is not fat," I told her but Bella just sniffled. It was time to pull out the big guns.
"Bella are you listening to me?" I said loudly to the door.
"Yeah," she hiccupped.
"If you don't open this door in five seconds I'm going to kick it down," I threatened. I heard Bella's breath catch in surprise.
"What?" she gasped.
"One," I said nice and loud so I was sure that she could hear me.
"You wouldn't," Bella's voice squeaked from the other side.
"Two."
"Oh come on Jake," she pleaded, her heart rate picking up. I didn't let her deter me.
"I'm serious Bells. Three!" I warned her, stepping back in preparation.
"Jacob don't you dare!" Bella yelled through the door. I had to bite my tongue to hold back the laughter that wanted to spill out of my mouth. I managed to swallow it down so I could keep counting.
"Four!"
"All right! I'm opening it, but don't you dare laugh at me," Bella yelled and I heard her scrambling to unlock the door handle.
"Bella I would never laugh at you," I told her as the lock clicked open. It hurt me a little that she thought I would make fun of her. Bella's face appeared in the small space she had made between the door and the doorframe.
"I know you wouldn't Jake. It's just really bad," she told me.
She opened the door slowly and let me in. I kept the door open and glanced down at her. She had a towel wrapped around her head and wasn't looking at me. I reached over and slowly undid the fluffy blue towel. She didn't stop me but she grimaced as it fell away completely. Bella had only a few clumps of hair left at the base of her neck but it was so thin it didn't look like they would be sticking around long.
"Its hideous. I look like an alien," she muttered, big tears spilling out and running down her face. I caught them with my thumbs and forced her to look up at me. I lent down and kissed the top of her now hairless head.
"Bella you are beautiful to me. Hair or no hair, fat or thin, it doesn't matter to me," I assured her gently, smiling at her.
"You don't understand though," Bella mumbled.
"Hey I have plenty experience with being different. I'm a werewolf remember?" I joked trying to make her smile. It didn't work.
"I know but its not the same. Before people didn't know I was sick but now they will just have to take one look at me and they will know. It's like a walking billboard that says 'Look at me I have cancer'," she said sadly. I had known this day would come but Bella had been so strong through out this whole illness, so sure of her self and me that I wasn't prepared for this kind of a reaction.
"Ok fine," I said slowly, pulling out of her arms. She looked up at me confused but I turned away from her and opened up the vanity drawers, grabbing the black handled scissors. I needed a hair cut anyway. Bella's mouth fell open when she realized what I was going to do.
"Jake don't!" she gasped. I ignored her and started hacking at my hair with the scissors cutting it as close to my skull as possible. Bella stared open mouthed as I quickly snipped as much of my hair off as I could. When I had got as much off as possible I ran my fingers over my skull brushing off the excess hair. It wasn't exactly even but it was almost like a buzz cut. I turned around to face her.
"Now we can be billboards together," I told her with a shrug. Bella's mouth was still wide open and she seemed to suddenly become aware of the fact, snapping it shut quickly. She looked as if she was debating something within herself for a moment before turning her back on me.
"Will you cut off the rest of mine?" she whispered. I stepped up behind her, kissing the top of her head again. Carefully I scooped up the last few remaining clumps of hair and snipped them off as close to the skin as I could.
"All done," I told her and she turned around to face me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body into mine. I could feel the beginnings of a small hard bump pressing into me and Bella laid her head against my chest. I ran my fingers over her head and tracing her neck over and over. Her arms around my waist tightened. Slowly we began to rock together in time with our breathing. I don't know how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes or days but it didn't matter one bit. I could have stayed like that for the rest of my life. We only broke apart when we heard a banging on the front door.
I heard the front door swing open and several voices float through the house. Bella pulled back and with a nervous look ran a small hand over her head. I pulled the hand away and kissed it.
"Come on," I whispered gently, pulling her arm and she let me lead her through into the den. Paul and Jared were sprawled on our couch and had turned the television on. Embry was raiding the fridge and Quil was chugging apple juice out of the bottle.
"What makes you guys think you can just waltz into my house like you own it?" I asked them and they all jumped guiltily. When Quil looked up at me his eyes went wide and he sprayed apple juice all over the kitchen work bench. No one said a thing as their eyes darted back and forth between my shaved head and Bella's.
"You're gonna clean that up right?" I asked Quil causally, fighting to keep the smile off my face. It was so hard to not start laughing at them. Bella's arm went round my waist and I draped a long arm over her shoulders. Paul got up off the sofa and walked over. He looked from Bells to me, his whole body relaxed and at ease.
"Bella you look really good today," he said honestly and gave her a rare smile. I grinned at Paul and felt unbelievably grateful to him for complimenting her. Paul was no stranger to controversy and I was glad he was trying his hardest to make Bella more comfortable.
"Thanks Paul," Bella said smiling back at him. It broke the ice and the other three came up. Quil still had the apple juice in his hand.
"Do you mind if I…" Embry trailed off holding up a hand. Bella shook her head and Embry gently touched her skull. She blushed a bright red but the smile stayed on her face.
"I think its pretty cool Bella," Embry told her letting his hand drop to his side "Lots of models have bald heads you know. I bet you start a trend."
"So did you cut yours off to match?" Jared questioned me. I nodded at him and glanced down at Bella. Her cheeks were still red but she was laughing at what Embry had said. She glanced up at me and I kissed the top of her head again gently. Suddenly Quil started shaking with laughter. He was bent over double and was pointing at me.
"You have no hair!" he gasped, laughing so hard that tears leaked down his face.
"So what?" I asked defensively.
"You remember when you let your hair grow long? And then your wolf coat was super long too. Well now you have no hair!" Quil explained practically screaming with laughter. I shook my head in confusion before it dawned on me what he had just said. I had no hair. Paul caught on before I could defend myself.
"Oh my god you're going to be buck naked when you phase!" Paul crowed. He grabbed a hold of Quil and they were both shaking so hard with laughter it looked like they were going to phase. It took about two seconds before Embry and Jared had joined in as well. I looked down at Bella for support. She had a hand over her mouth and I could just make out the sound of her giggling like mad over the guy's laughter.
"You guys all suck!" I hollered over the noise but all it did was make them laugh at me even more.
(For the record I wasn't completely naked when I phased later that night. But I did look like one of those dogs that had been clipped way too short so that you could see their skin through their fur. The pack never let me live it down. They even gave me a new nickname: Naked Jacob.)
We sat in the small dark room and I fought the urge to fidget. Bella was lying on the hospital bed and her shirt was pulled up to reveal the some what large bump that had seemed to appear almost over night.
A door at the far side of the room opened and I was a little blinded by the bright light that flooded in. A woman with long blonde hair and wearing a white coat came over to us; Bella's all too familiar chart in her hand.
"Good morning Bella, my name is Pandora," she said sitting down on a little stool next to Bella's bed and opposite me.
"Hi, this is my husband Jacob," Bella said quietly, pointing to me.
"Nice to meet you Jacob. Now this is your first child correct?" she asked, studying Bella's chart.
"It is," I told her and she looked up at Bella.
"And I understand you've been undergoing chemotherapy for leukemia. So today we are going to just check and make sure everything is going well. How far along are you?" she asked soothingly. I felt a prickle of worry at the thought that something could be wrong with the baby. Dr Tikvah had said that Bella had not received chemo since falling pregnant as her last dose was two weeks before our wedding but I guess there was still a chance that something could have gone wrong.
"Um I'm about twenty weeks I think. Right Jake?" Bella asked looking at me and I could see the worry in her eyes. I shuffled my chair closer to Bella and she reached out to take my hand. Bella played with the white head scarf that was wrapped around her head.
"Yeah that sounds about right," I said looking at the technician hoping it was right. Because I really did not have a freaking clue. Pandora smiled at me knowingly. She picked up a bottle of blue jelly that looked like the stuff you rub on your skin when you were sun burnt and squirted it on Bella's tummy.
"Oh that's cold," Bella's gasped and the attendant smiled.
"Sorry I should have warned you," she said and picked up the ultrasound sensor. We watched as Pandora fiddled with what looked like a big television set to me.
"All right are you ready to take a look at your baby?" she asked, still watching the screen. Bella nodded and I quickly copied her. Pandora turned the screen around a bit so we could see it better before sliding the ultrasound sensor over Bella rounded belly.
The first few images were grainy and hard to make out. Pandora slid the sensor over Bella's tummy expertly and gave a small sound of satisfaction when the picture changed on the television. At first I wasn't sure what I was seeing. Slowly I took in the round shape of a head, the line of a jaw and even a little bump of a nose. The image jumped a little and two perfect lips opened and closed like the baby was yawning. Suddenly with shocking clarity I realized what I was seeing. I was staring at my child's profile. I heard people talk about certain times in their lives where they were just stunned into silence, unable to move or even think. That's what I felt like now. All that was running through my mind as I stared at the fuzzy screen was that that was our baby. Our baby. Bella gasped and the image changed, a tiny hand jerking across the screen.
"Bella the baby is waving at me," I mumbled my voice sounding strangely far off. Bella laughed and her hand ran up my forearm.
"That's what it looks like. He always starts kicking when you speak to me Jake. I think he likes your voice," Bella whispered. I looked down at her and she was wiping a little tear away from the corner of her eye. Pandora swiveled the scanner over Bella's tummy again and the profile disappeared.
"There's the baby's feet," Pandora told us her finger tracing over the image of two little feet on the screen. I could even count the toes. Knowing Bella was pregnant was one thing but seeing that black and white image was certainly another. The reality of the situation came crashing down and I was unimaginably grateful that Bella had stood firm on keeping our child.
"And if we go this way, see that fluttering? That's your baby's heart," Pandora said gently smiling at us. Bella's hand tightened in mine and I squeezed back. I watched the fluttering of the tiny heart and listened hard. The small thrumming inside Bella matched the fluttering perfectly.
"Holy shit," I muttered, dumbfounded. Bella laughed and Pandora grinned at me.
"Would you believe me if I said I heard that at least five times a week from prospective fathers?" Pandora asked me. I just nodded my head mutely my eyes glued to the screen. I was in a state of shock, absolutely floored by the images on the screen. My dad had always said to me that I would understand the unconditional love a parent had for a child one day, and he was right. I did understand it now. That baby was ours and I would do absolutely anything to protect it. Bella had owned my heart for almost my whole life but now that little black and white image of a baby had wormed its way in too. Our baby.
"That's our baby," Bella whispered at the screen, mirroring my thoughts. I looked up at her and she smiled at me. I lent down and kissed her gently.
"So far everything looks good with no obvious abnormalities. You were right about being at twenty weeks," Pandora said, winking at me. I breathed out a nervous laugh.
"So he hasn't been affected by the chemo at all?" Bella asked apprehensively.
"From what I can see here, no. Of course there is a risk seeing as you were receiving chemo only a few weeks before conception so I'm going to order you another scan for four weeks from now," the attendant explained, her attention on the screen. Bella and I both breathed a sigh of relief at the same time and Bella let loose a small giggle.
"Now you mentioned before you think it's a boy. Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" Pandora asked us, turning away from the screen. I looked down at Bella and shrugged. I didn't really care if it was a boy or not. My only worry was that if it was a boy then it would carry the werewolf gene. Because I was Alpha, any male children I had were all but guaranteed to have the gene and consequently phase when they came of age.
"Sure, sure," Bella said, rising up on her elbows to have a closer look at the screen. Pandora had to move the sensor around a fair bit and it took almost five minutes to finally get the angle she was looking for.
"Ok here we go. Sorry to disappoint but it looks like you are having a girl," Pandora told us softly. I couldn't tell exactly what was happening on the screen but I felt a rush of warmth at the attendant's words. A girl. A daughter. I was going to have a daughter. I glanced down at Bella and she was smiling.
"You're not upset it's a girl?" I asked her. I knew she had been hoping for a boy. She shook her head.
"She's beautiful," Bella said in awe gazing at the screen. I looked back up and saw that the baby's profile was on the screen again. My daughter's profile.
"Of course she's beautiful she's got your genes," I teased Bella.
"Hey I reckon yours won't hurt either," Bella told me, a watery smile on her face. I knew she meant that she didn't care if our baby had the werewolf gene and I felt a rush of love toward Bella and her unfailing acceptance of me.
The appointment continued for another thirty minutes while Pandora measured the child and did a lot of other complicated looking things with her big television. When we left she gave us a tape of the ultra sound and some shiny pictures to keep. Bella framed the one of the baby waving and hung it above our bed.
Bella's body glowed in the low light from the single candle burning on my bedside table. Her head scarf was on the floor and her naked limbs tangled with mine. I ran my fingers down her bare back and kissed her temple. Bella's bump pressed into my side and she looked up at me from my shoulder with large brown eyes.
"What about Tiffany?" she suggested.
"I hate that name. There was a girl in my class called Tiffany and she used to push me around," I told her with a grimace. The room lit up a bright white for a moment and seconds later a low grumbling of thunder filled the room.
"You let a girl beat you up?" Bella giggled, her eyebrows raised.
"Hey I was six and she was huge ok. Besides my dad taught me to never hit a girl thank you very much," I huffed haughtily. The rain was coming down hard and thick now and I could hear it pattering loudly against the roof.
"Ok fine what do you like?" Bella asked, walking a pair of fingers across my chest.
"I dunno. Jessica?" I offered.
"No way," Bella scoffed.
"Why not?" I asked, pretending to be hurt at the way she just tossed my suggestion aside. Bella wasn't fooled and smiled at me.
"Don't you remember Jessica Stanley? She was like a complete bitch to me in my last year of school," Bella explained.
"I don't think I ever met her," I said slowly trying to think, which was quite hard post-coital.
"Yes you did, she was at the beach party when you told me all of the tribe's scary stories," Bella told me. I tried to think back to when I had met Bella at that party. All I could remember was the way Bella had lent into me and fluttered her eye lashes. I tried harder and vaguely remembered a brown haired girl who had tossed snide remarks over the bonfire.
"Oh yeah. You're right she was a bitch," I agreed as another crackle of thunder sounded.
"Told you," Bella said with a grin. The candle flickered just then, making inky shadows dance across her body.
"Hmmm….maybe Christine?" I suggested.
"Nope. What about Natasha?"
"I had a pet mouse call Natasha once," I told her laughing at the memory of scaring the crap out of my mother by hiding Natasha in her sock drawer. I had gotten grounded for a month for that one.
"Who calls a mouse Natasha?" Bella asked me, her face screwed up with laughter.
"Well Rachel named it and I had to just roll with it you know," I told her seriously.
"Uh huh," Bella hummed disbelievingly.
"It's true! Hey you know what I like? Hope," I said, sliding down the bed so we were face to face. Bella draped a leg over my hip and thought it over.
"Hope is nice. I was about to suggest something but I dunno how you will feel about it," Bella said, her eyes a little fearful.
"What?" I asked her, kissing her nose softly.
"Well I thought we could use your mother's name," Bella said apprehensively.
"Sarah?" I asked. I hadn't though of using my mother's name for our daughter but I liked the idea of it. I reached out and placed my hand over Bella's hard bump, my fingers running gently over it.
"Yeah I like Sarah. I like Hope too. What about Sarah Hope Black?" Bella suggested gently. She looked up at me and I stopped brushing my finger tips along her skin. Some how when she said it aloud like that it felt right. I smiled at Bella and kissed her forehead.
"Sarah Hope Black. I like it," I whispered against her forehead.
"Really?" Bella asked pulling herself closer to me. I held her snug against my chest. It was a cold night but a light sheen of sweat coated Bella's body. I had kept my promise to keep her warm and the winter air couldn't touch us here in our bedroom.
"Yeah I do," I told her honestly.
"Ok so we have a name," Bella concluded with a little smile.
"Now we just need a shit load of crap like diapers and a crib and a pram," I mumbled.
"We will figure it out," Bella promised.
"Hey do you think she will like cars? I could teach her how to fix up an engine," I asked, excited about the idea. A little fantasy played out in my head in which a little girl who one second looked like Bella and the next second looked like me ran around our garage. I would show her all the tools and exactly how to use them.
"Maybe. I think she will be a reader like me. I'll have to make sure she gets all of my books as she gets older," Bella said with a far away look in her eyes.
"I could get her car books," I offered and Bella laughed.
"I'll definitely show her my cook books so she can feed you when she gets older," Bella teased, poking my tummy. We both left out the fact that more likely than not I would be the one who would teach our daughter things as she got older. I kissed Bella gently and she moaned against my lips. I pulled back and she smiled lazily at me.
Bella pulled herself up and lent over my body, blowing out the candle. She lay back down next to me and I wrapped my other arm around her. I felt myself being lulled into sleep, too tired to worry about money, changing tables and the idea of raising a daughter alone just now. I was almost under when I remembered something.
"Hey Bells?" I whispered keeping my eyes closed.
"Yeah?" she said groggily.
"Did you mean what you said at the ultrasound the other week?" I asked her quietly, listening to another deep rumble of thunder off in the distance.
"What thing?" Bella sighed, sounding like she was mostly asleep.
"About how she starts kicking when ever I talk?" I mumbled.
"Yes Jacob." Bella whispered and I could feel her smile against my chest.
"I'm going crazy having to stay in bed like this," Bella complained but I wasn't having any of it.
"Hey blame Dr. Tikvah not me. She is the one who ordered you onto bed rest" I told her, placing the breakfast tray over Bella's lap. Bella pushed the scrambled eggs around her plate moodily. I stood up and shrugged into my work shirt. Bella was glaring at the food in front of her.
"Bells you have to eat honey," I told her gently, not bothering with doing up the buttons of my shirt for now.
"I know but it just makes me feel so sick," Bella sighed. I waited patiently while she scooped up a forkful of scrambled eggs and popped them into her mouth. She chewed slowly but her face made it look like she was eating dirt. I grabbed the glass of orange juice that was in danger of sliding off the tray and placed it on Bella's bedside table. There were about ten big bouquets of flowers around the room from Emily and Renee but most of them had Charlie's hand writing scribbled across the card. A few were even from Bella's students. It made our bedroom smell like a florist.
Three weeks ago Bella had passed out at work and had been rushed to the hospital. She had complained of break through bleeding and stomach cramping to a co worker but had fainted before the ambulance had arrived. I had started strapping my phone to my leg when I phased and rushed to the hospital from patrol only just remembering to pull my shorts on before I burst through the doors demanding to see Bella. The nurses seemed wary of a seven foot tall, mostly naked Native American guy screaming at them so I had been forced to sit in the waiting room for almost two hours before they would let me see her.
Dr. Tikvah had been there that day seeing another patient and had popped by. She was not an OB/GYN but she was Bella's regular doctor and so she had been the one to sit down and tell us what was going on. She had said that Bella's body was just too weak from the fighting the cancer whilst trying to care for the growing baby at the same time. Dr. Tikvah had explained she was surprised Bella had gotten to thirty weeks before any serious problems like this had arisen. Basically we were told Bella could miscarry if she didn't stay on bed rest. Pandora had come up to Bella's room and done an ultrasound and luckily there seemed to be no damage to the baby.
I was crushed that this had happened. Bella had been doing so well and Dr. Tikvah had even been suggesting that she go back on a low dose of chemotherapy now that she was so far along, but of course that was out the window now.
"I reckon I could go to work. I could get a swivel chair and teach from that," Bella told me, ignoring her eggs.
"Bella if you keep trying to move around you could miscarry. Do you want that?" I asked her not bothering to be gentle. She had to understand the seriousness of this.
"I know that Jake. I'm not a child. I just hate being cooped up like this," Bella mumbled, waving her hand around our room. I had brought the television through for her and a huge stack of books from her personal library but I could see where she was coming from. I knelt on the bed and kissed her gently.
"I know Bella. I know you hate it but you only have a little while to go and then you can deliver," I told her. I didn't mention that she also only had a little while until she reached the end of her time that the doctors had given her. The double meaning of my words hung in the air and Bella kissed me again, desperately this time. I kissed her back, trying to pull as much of her sweet strawberry taste into me. I pulled back and we were both short of breath. I swallowed the hot lump in my throat.
"Don't go in today. Please I just…I need you here Jake. Please," Bella begged me, her fingers running through my hair. It had grown back quite fast because of my werewolf genes. I had offered to cut it off for Bella but she had said no. She had told me she had missed the feel of it when it brushed against her skin so I had kept it for her.
"I only have two more days to go and then I have almost six months worth of paid leave saved up," I told her gently. Bella pouted at me, her fingers in my hair. It was hard to resist her when she was like this. All of my instincts were screaming at me to stay with her and hold her but I knew I couldn't.
"Emily is going to be round before I leave to keep you company. And Renee said she was going to come over this afternoon," I told her, untangling her hands from around my neck. Bella sighed and went back to pushing her food around her plate. I kissed her forehead.
"I know you are sick of this but in two days I will be home all the time. The guys have offered to take over my patrols for me as much as possible but I'm thinking of cutting everyone down. I haven't seen Cullen since he showed up at the hotel," I soothed her, kissing her forehead again once I had stopped talking. Bella leaned into my touch.
"Ok fine. But when you are off work then you have to spend the next week in bed with me," Bella said with a little grin. I smiled back.
"You make that sound like a bad thing," I teased, smoothing out a wrinkle in her red head scarf. I heard a knock on the door and stood up quickly. Bella reached out, grabbing my hand and held on for as long as she could as I stepped away from the bed, our fingers desperately trying to cling to each other.
I could see Emily through the screen door, a big pot of something in one hand and Terry tucked into her side in the other. The pot smelt delicious but I knew that Bella most likely wouldn't eat what ever was in it. She had a hard time keeping anything down. Dr Tikvah had been talking about setting up and IV drip in our bedroom so that Bella's body would get the nutrients it needed. I hoped it wouldn't come to that but it was starting to look like that was going to be our only option soon.
"Hey," I said to Emily as I pushed the screen door open. Terry waved at me as Emily walked past. I grabbed him out of her arms as Emily sat the pot on the small round table. Terry was three and a half now and running all over the place every time I went over to Sam's. Sam had told me that three year olds were a flat out nightmare. He said that every time he turned around Terry was into something he shouldn't be, eating something gross off the floor or destroying anything he could get his hands on by throwing out the window to see 'if it could fly like a pretty birdie'. Most recently the flying experiment had been used on Sam's brand new cell phone, which had been smashed to pieces when it clattered onto the wooden porch outside the window.
"How is she today?" Emily asked me setting down the large black bag that she had slung over her shoulder. I assumed it was full of Terry's stuff. Emily had taken me on a completely terrifying visit to the mall in Port Angeles last week to stock up on baby things. Emily and I had gotten pretty much all of the essentials but I had had to endure almost seven hours of 'Jacob isn't this outfit so cute!' and 'Look this matches the comforter set and the changing station!'. We had also managed to find a crib which had been frustrating as all hell for me and Charlie to construct in the spare bedroom. Dad hadn't helped at all by relaying the instructions. He kept telling us to put the wrong bits together and everyone had ended up yelling at each other. Bella had had to come through to break it up.
"She's ok. Still not eating too well but I'm hoping that just because it's so early. She always seems worse in the mornings," I told her. Emily nodded and pulled Terry out of my arms. Well tried to anyway; Terry clung onto my arm as if it would save his life.
"Come on Terry, Uncle Jake has to go to work now," Emily said.
"No! Uncle Jake should stay and play," Terry cried.
"Its ok. I've got to say goodbye to Bella anyway," I said, shifting Terry to a more comfortable place in my arms. I don't know what I had done to make this kid love me so much but when ever I was around he made a beeline for me. The only exception was when Claire was there too.
"Ok I'm just going to set up his play pen so yell if you need me," Emily told me and I turned away from her making my way up the hallway with Terry. Bella looked up when I came in and smiled at us.
"Well you boys are certainly handsome together," Bella laughed. Terry copied her, laughing as well but my eyes narrowed when I caught sight of Bella's basically full plate shoved onto the bedside table. Bella caught the look but pretended not to. I sat down on the bed and Bella reached out ruffling Terry's black hair.
"I was just coming through to say good bye before I left," I told her. Terry had twisted out of my arms and was running his little hands over Bella's rounded belly.
"Auntie Bells why is you're tummy so big?" he asked seriously, still rubbing her belly. Bella smiled at him. Terry lifted up his shirt and compared his tummy with Bella's, touching hers and then his own. I chuckled at him.
"Because I'm going to have a baby," she told him, pulling down his little shirt, hiding his tummy.
"Is that why you don't have any hair as well? Daddy said it went away," Terry asked with childish innocence. Bella met my eyes over his head with a worried look.
"No Terry. Bella is sick that's why she lost her hair," I told him, pulling him back onto my lap. Terry seemed to think that over for a second.
"But now you get to wear a scarf like a pirate! Pirate Auntie Bells!" he squealed and Bella laughed with him. Emily came into the room just then and sat down on the other side of the bed.
"Come on Terry we have to let Uncle Jake go to work now but I'm sure he will play with you when he gets back."
"Mommy did you know Auntie Bells is a pirate?" Terry told her, crawling off my lap and over the bed toward her. Emily looked at us in confusion. Bella tapped her head scarf and Emily smiled in understanding. I stood up and lent over the bed kissing Bella's mouth softly. Her cool fingers tugged on my work shirt and I looked down realizing I still hadn't done up the buttons.
"I'll be back at five," I promised her, buttoning up the shirt swiftly.
"I'll miss you," Bella sighed.
"Me too Bells."
"That's mine!" Seth hollered, lunging at Jared who had stolen his hotdog. They both fell to the ground in a scuffle. I couldn't figure why those two always stole food off each other but at every pack gathering there was at least one argument between them over food.
"Ok, ok break it up you hooligans," Billy yelled at them, poking them both with the stick he had been using to spear his hot dogs on. Seth scrambled away from Jared with half of his hotdog. The other half was in Jared's mouth. Bella laughed next to me from the big chair that we had pulled out of Emily's house for her to sit on. We were having a huge bonfire to celebrate Sam's birthday and everyone was here. All of the council members were strewn about with the pack and even Charlie had shown up. Renee was going to come too but Phil's mother had gotten sick and she had had to fly back to Jacksonville at the last moment. The only other member missing was Leah.
"Ok I reckon we should hear from the birthday boy," Emily yelled over the noise and Terry clapped loudly in her lap. Everyone voiced out in agreement and Sam stood up with a beer in hand. Since he had stopped phasing he was basically human. It still took quite a bit but if he pushed it Sam could get absolutely wasted. I was a little jealous, I'll admit.
"Thanks for coming guys," Sam started and everyone cheered and clapped. Paul threw an empty beer can over the fire and it smacked into Sam's arm. Sam glared at Paul but everyone else just laughed. I reached out into Bella's blankets absentmindedly, my hand resting on the huge bump protruding from her stomach. I smiled when I felt a little kick under my hand. Bella's hand wrapped around mine.
"You guys have been awesome, sticking with me through some really hard times," Sam said, not going into details as Charlie was still out of the loop on the whole 'we are a giant pack of werewolves that protect you pale faces from vampires' side of our lives.
"My dad skipped out when I was like seven and since my mom passed I had felt really alone. But you lot have really become like a family to me. So thanks," Sam continued.
"Are you gonna go all chick flick on us and start crying?" Embry asked loudly. I snorted with laughter, some of the beer I had just swallowed foaming in my nose. I coughed and spluttered and Bella reached out patting my back.
"Shut up Embry," Sam scowled but it did no use. Everyone was laughing now. Claire was giggling as well although I don't think she understood what was going on. She was sitting next to Quil drinking out of a hot pink Hannah Montana cup. Terry kept wriggling in Emily's grasp and I knew if she let him go he would run right up to her. Claire was going through a 'boys are gross and I hate them all' stage so it was probably best that Terry stayed away.
Kim had brought out a cake and everyone started singing a very off key version of Happy Birthday. Seth, Brady and Collin sung the rude version of the song and Quil yelled at them when Claire stared asking questions. Kim was cutting up the cake and Paul handed me two plates. I gave one to Bella but she shook her head. Bella had been eating better since Dr. Tikvah had basically threatened her with an at home IV last month but I still thought she should eat more. The weight she had gained before falling pregnant had fallen away and her cheekbones were sharp again. I didn't bother with the plastic fork and took a huge bite of the chocolate cake.
"You should have some Bells. It's full of chocolately goodness," I told her with my mouth full. Charlie and Billy, who had cracked open the beers a good four hours before the party had started overheard me. They both started laughing and singing the words "It's full of chocolately goodness" over and over. Bella rolled her eyes at them but took a small nibble of the cake.
Emily put Terry to bed not long after that and very soon after Terry had been put down Claire started nodding off next to Quil. Quil scooped her up and took her inside Sam and Emily's house to the spare bedroom I guessed. Brady had brought a CD player and Embry got up and pretended to do a rain dance around the bonfire. Dad started yelling at him for being disrespectful.
Bella was laughing with me as we watched dad try to navigate his way over the bumpy ground to hit Embry with his hot dog stick when I felt the huge muscle spasm under my hand from Bella's belly. Bella gasped, clutching her stomach. I jumped up, dropping my beer on the floor.
"What is it are you ok?" I asked her, pulling back the blankets. Bella didn't answer me she just let out a strangled moan. The CD player shut off then.
"Jake, something is wrong!" she wailed, her knuckles white as she gripped her belly. Emily rushed over, placing her hand on Bella's pregnant stomach. The whole party had gone dead silent, the only noises were coming from Bella and all of them sounded painful.
"I think she's in labor," Emily said in a hushed voice. Dread flooded through my system. Bella looked up at me with panic in her eyes. I had never really thought about Bella giving birth before and now it felt way too real and way too fast. We had been told that a c-section would be best for Bella because the doctors didn't think she had the strength to deliver naturally but we were not supposed to go in to get Bella induced for another two weeks.
"No I cant be! It's too early!" she gasped reaching out and clutching my hand. I reached into my pocket with the other and tossed my keys over the fire at Embry.
"Go and get the car now!" I yelled at him and he scrambled off into the darkness.
"Jake I think we should call an ambulance," Sam said appearing next to me. Bella let out another cry of pain and I was hit with the sudden rich, dark smell of blood. Emily gasped and I looked down. The front of Bella's pants were stained a deep red and that stain was growing at a rapid rate.
"No way, it will take too long!" I told him, kneeling down next to Bella. The pack members had scattered, moving things out of the way, calling the hospital to let them know we were coming. Bella's face was deathly white and she gripped my hand with bruising force.
"Put your arms round my neck I'm going to carry you to the car Bells," I told her trying to keep the panic out of my voice. Bella reached out to me, her skinny arms wrapping around my neck. I slid my hands under body, trying my best to ignore the warm wetness. I stood up as smoothly as I could trying not to jostle Bella but she cried out anyway.
"Jake it hurts," she moaned. I saw headlights flash and realized that Embry had driven the car round the back of Sam and Emily's house. I strode toward it as fast as I could without hurting Bella further.
"I know honey, I know. We are almost there," I told her, my voice cracking as we made it to the car. Charlie dashed in front of me, pulling the door open. I knelt down and gently placed Bella in the backseat. She bit her lip in an effort to keep the pain inside but I could see it on her face and hear it in her throat. I sprinted around the car, ripping the other door open and sliding in next to her. Sam appeared at the window.
"Charlie has given me the keys to his cruiser so I'm gonna go first with the lights on," he told me. I couldn't speak so I only nodded at him. Bella was leaning into my chest, clutching onto my shirt. She was shaking and I wrapped my arms around her.
"Its ok, were ok. The baby will be fine, you will be fine. It's all right," I told her and Embry threw the car into reverse and floored it. Sam pulled out in front of us in Charlie's cruiser the lights flashing brightly in the darkness.
"What if she is not fine?" Bella moaned, clutching her stomach as we sped down the main road out of La Push and towards Forks. I kissed Bella's forehead, refusing to think of the possibility that tonight could end horribly. I wouldn't let that happen.
"She will be fine. You'll see. I bet she looks like you," I told her trying desperately to distract her. Bella didn't reply and I felt another contraction ripple through her body, forcing another pained moan from her lips.
"Embry cant you drive any fucking faster?" I yelled and was suddenly hit with déjà vu. This was almost exactly the same thing that had happened went Emily went into labor except for one thing. Emily hadn't been bleeding out when it had happened. The back seat of The Rabbit was slick with Bella's blood. The smell of it filled the tiny car and made my head spin.
"I've got my foot to the floor," Embry ground out, following Sam through a red light. Bella's hand went limp in mind and I looked down. She had her eyes closed and her head was lolling with the movement of the car.
"Bella?" I said, tracing her face, leaving little bloodstains on her cheek. She had passed out cold. The fifteen minute drive to the hospital seemed to take hours, days. I kept whispering in Bella's ear hoping she would hear me. I promised her over and over again that everything would be all right and not to be scared because I was here and I would protect her. I whipped my head around as the car fishtailed into the hospital's emergency bay. Charlie's cruiser was there and the front doors were open, lights still flashing. I pushed the door open, racing around with above human speed to the other side of the car. I pulled Bella into my arms as Sam came out of the sliding doors with a group of doctors and a gurney. Embry appeared at my side then slamming the door shut. Charlie rushed over to us.
"Why isn't she awake?" he asked me, panic saturating his voice.
"She passed out in the car," I said but I was addressing the doctors in front of me. They helped me get Bella onto the gurney. One doctor started asking me questions but I brushed her off following the others who were pushing Bella inside. They were shouting about needing an operating room.
I followed them down the white hallway, Embry at my side. They stopped before a set of swinging white doors that had "Authorized Personnel Only" stamped across it in thick black writing. One of the doctors came over to me but I ignored him going straight for Bella, holding her limp hand.
"Sir we have to take your wife into surgery right away," the doctor told me but I wasn't listening. All I could see was how pale Bella's skin was and how bright the red blood that stained the sheets looked. Her heart was hammering and so was the baby's.
"Sir you need to sign the consent for an emergency c-section surgery. If you don't do it your wife will die," The doctor told me and I finally woke up to him. I looked at him and he was holding out a little clip board covered in fine printed paper.
"What?" I whispered. Bella couldn't die yet; she still had a few weeks left on the clock. The doctor rested his hand on my forearm and spoke slowly to me.
"Sir your baby is showing some major signs of distress. We need to get the child out now or both the baby and your wife will die," he told me, shoving a pen into my hand. I gazed at it and found the long line I was supposed to sign on. I quickly scribbled my name, noticing the blotches of blood my fingertips left on the paper.
"You have a few moments if you want to talk to her," the doctor said taking back the clipboard. One of the other doctors was talking into a phone on the wall telling someone to clear an operating room. I picked up Bella's tiny hand again and dropped down onto my knees next to her head. She still had her eyes closed. I kissed her lips, relived to find them still warm.
"Don't you give up on me," I told her, kissing her cheek "You keep your heart beating for me Bella." I swallowed hard, kissing her mouth again before the doctors told me to move back. I stumbled onto my feet and tried to follow them as they pushed Bella through the white swinging doors.
"Sir you can't go in there just now," the female doctor who had been asking me questions before told me. Like hell I couldn't, I thought pushing past her. I wasn't leaving Bella's side. I felt Embry's arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back.
"Jake you have to let the doctor's do their jobs now ok. They are going to look after Bella," he told me, pulling me away from the swinging white doors. Every now and then I could catch a glimpse of the team of doctors running down the hallway with Bella on the gurney.
"Embry she needs me," I told him, fighting to get out of his grip. Embry gripped on tighter refusing to let me go.
"Sir I know you are worried but you need to let us fix her. We will let you know if anything happens the second it happens. But if you go in there you will make it harder for us to help your wife," the female doctor told me. I felt my shoulders slump in defeat. Embry didn't let go of me. Numbly I let the doctor lead me into a little room with a few chairs scattered about.
"We will call down with updates on your wife regularly ok?" she told me soothingly and I collapsed into one of the chairs. My whole body was shaking. All I could see was Bella's panicked face and all I could hear was her cries of pain. I felt my eyes heat up and tears spill down my cheeks. Embry was sitting next to me but the female doctor was gone. He had his cell phone out and I could hear him speaking to someone, but I couldn't follow the conversation.
"They have taken her into surgery. I don't know, it doesn't look good..." I tuned Embry's voice out. I couldn't stand to listen to it. I kept staring at the blood on my hands fighting the urge to throw up. Bella had to be ok. I wasn't ready for this just yet. I couldn't loose her yet, I wouldn't survive it. I needed her, she was my soul mate. How could I go on without my soul mate?
The door to the private waiting room burst open and Charlie came in followed swiftly by Sam. Embry told them what was going on but I barely heard him. I felt Sam's hand on my back, patting it reassuringly and I realized then I was still crying. I wiped away the tears furiously. I don't know how long we waited in that tiny room. Charlie got up and started pacing nervously; glancing at the door every time he walked past it. I couldn't look up from my blood stained hands.
The door finally opened and I was surprised to see Taraja. She crossed the room quickly and pulled up a little chair next to me. I felt my shoulders shaking. I couldn't take this waiting; it was going to break me. I just needed to know if my Bella was ok. I dropped my head looking at Taraja's feet instead of her face.
"Jacob, they got the baby out. She is a healthy seven and a half pounds and has a real set of lungs on her. Bella is still in surgery but she is stable. They had to perform an emergency hysterectomy. They are just closing her up now but she is going to be fine," Taraja told me, her hand on my arm.
"What?" I gasped looking up at her. I was so sure she was going to tell me that Bella had died, the shock that she hadn't took a few moments to process.
"Bella is going to be fine Jake. And if you clean up a little I can take you upstairs to meet your daughter," Taraja told me with a big smile. I stood up as soon as she finished speaking. Charlie followed me out of the tiny waiting room but Sam and Embry had to stay behind for now. I was shown a small bathroom and quickly washed my hands and face. I looked at my reflection and tried to spot a difference but I couldn't. I was different now, despite what the mirror showed. I wasn't just Jacob, the werewolf and the husband. I was Jacob the father now. Jesus I was a father. I ripped the bloody shirt over my head and pulled on the blue one I had been given by Taraja. It was way too small and the arms looked like the might rip at any moment but I didn't care.
I left the little bathroom and was lead upstairs. Taraja took us to a long window and stopped in front of it. She lifted her arm and pointed to a small, clear crib with the words "Baby Black" on the end. All I could see was a mass of pink blankets. Charlie had his nose almost pressed against the glass. Taraja pushed an intercom button and with a loud buzz the door at the end of the glass opened. She gestured for us to follow her.
"Take a seat," Taraja whispered, pointing to the large stuffed chairs in the corner. I sat down in one and Charlie took another and both of us watched as a nurse I didn't know pushed the little plastic crib with my last name on it toward us. The nurse scooped up the bundle of pink blankets and put them gently in my arms. I looked down at the face of my daughter for the first time.
Her hair was as black as mine and dead straight. She had a lot of it sticking out from under the pink beanie the nurses had put her in. She had my coloring too and it exactly matched my fingers that gently touched her soft skin. She turned her head at my touch, the two perfect lips I had first seen on the ultrasound opening with a sucking sound. She had my strong nose as well, perfectly straight. But Bella was in there as well. She had Bella's small frame and pouty lips. Her face was arranged in the same way Bella's was too, with wide spaced eyes and a perfectly rounded chin.
"She's beautiful," Charlie's breathed next to me and I nodded in agreement. I couldn't speak just yet, my whole world captivated with the tiny creature in my arms that had so perfectly captured my heart. One of her little hands came up and I touched it gently. She opened her tiny fist and little fingers clung to mine with a strong grip. I gasped when she did this, my little girl holding on to me already.
"She is definitely one of the cutest babies we have ever had come through here and that's saying a lot," the nurse I didn't know said, gesturing to all of the cribs behind her. She had a clip board in her hand and she sat down in the chair next to me.
"Do you and you're wife have a name picked out?" she asked me.
"Sarah Hope Black," I told her not looking away from the bundle in my arms. I saw the nurse put pen to paper in my peripheral vision. Taraja's bleeper went off then and she silenced it quickly. She strode away from us to use one of the wall phones.
Sarah stretched a little in my arms, her tiny fingers still gripping mine. The beanie slipped and I quickly pulled it back into place. I could stare at her for ever, she was just so perfect. I kissed her little head and breathed in the wonderful scent of her. I heard the phone click back onto the receiver and Taraja came over to us.
"Bella is out of surgery and is awake Jacob, she is asking for you," she explained softly. I looked up and Charlie stood next to me, leaning down and pulling Sarah out of my arms expertly. I was sad to see her go but I wasn't sure I was up for the task of walking and carrying her just yet. Charlie held Sarah for a few moments, studying her face before gently placing her in the little crib.
"Can Sarah come too?" I asked standing as well.
"We will bring her down to you shortly. Bella is only just out of surgery but I will make sure she meets her daughter before she goes to sleep," Taraja told me. I let her lead me out of the nursery but I kept looking over my shoulder as I left. It felt like I had left part of my heart behind.
The journey to intensive care was quick. It was only one floor below the nursery. Every room in here had blinds and they were all shut. I followed Taraja into the last room at the end of the hall and felt my breath catch. Bella opened her eyes as we came in. Charlie walked around me, grabbing a hold of Bella's hand. She smiled at him and I slowly came into the room, sitting down on the hard plastic chair next to her bed.
Bella was still pale as a sheet and her head scarf was gone. She had an oxygen mask over her face and was hooked up to several different machines all of which beeped and buzzed at the same time. Her now flat stomach looked strange to me; I had gotten so used to the bump. I ran my fingers along her cheek and she pulled the oxygen mask off her face. I was about to protest before she reached out, pulling weakly on my borrowed shirt. I leant down and kissed her.
"I heard you," she whispered, her voice rough.
"When?" I asked her softly, not understanding. I was so grateful that Bella was awake and whole and speaking to me. The half an hour in the waiting room had just about killed me. My mind had kept torturing me with images of a scared Bella dying alone. I had promised her I would never leave her alone when she needed me and I was thankful I hadn't broken that promise.
"You said to me, 'Keep your heart beating for me' so I did," she croaked and I looked at her in shock. She smiled at me, a cold hand tracing my face. I kissed her again and was flooded by her sweet strawberry taste. My heart was aching from all of the emotional highs and lows but they were all worth it so that I could be sitting here, feeling Bella's lips under mine.
"Have you seen her?" Bella asked us both her voice wispy and I pushed the oxygen mask back on her face.
"She's beautiful Bells," Charlie said holding her hand tightly.
"She is perfect honey. Healthy as a horse," I told her kissing her hand.
"Or a wolf," Bella laughed. Charlie looked at her in bewilderment but I didn't bother to try and reassure him, hoping he would just think it was the medicine making Bella act funny.
"They are going to bring her up soon," I told her and she smiled at me. I hoped it would be soon because Bella looked unbelievably exhausted. Her eyes drooped and her hand was limp in mine. Charlie excused himself after a few minutes saying he had to call Renee and let her know what was going on. Bella and I didn't talk after he left, we just looked at each other saying more with glances that we ever could with words. I heard the rattling of wheels and looked up at the doorway. The nurse from the nursery was there and she had the plastic crib in front of her.
"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" she asked Bella, parking the crib next to me. I noticed it had Sarah Hope Black on the end now instead of Baby Black. Bella nodded and reached out her arms as the nurse lifted Sarah from the crib. The nurse placed Sarah in Bella's arms and whispered to me that she would be outside if we needed anything. She back out of the room quietly, closing the door behind her.
I watched Bella's eyes dart all over the little face in front of her, her mouth a perfect O behind the oxygen mask. She brushed her pale fingers along Sarah's cheek gently. I stood up and sat on the edge of Bella's bed, wrapping one arm around Sarah as well. I wiped away the tears that had escaped from Bella's eyes. She reached up, pushing the mask off her face again.
"Oh Jacob she's perfect. She looks just like you," Bella gasped in wonder.
"I thought she looked just like you," I told her. Sarah opened her mouth in a perfect little yawn as if to tell us that she didn't care who she looked like. I smiled at Bella and she grinned back. I lent down and kissed Bella's perfect mouth. Sarah was perfect, Bella was perfect. Everything at this moment in time was absolutely perfect.
We became a family on a Thursday.
A/N: Yup there is two today. I just wanted to add this down the bottom so there would be no spoiling of surprises. Ok let's get stuck into it.
Number One: I am from Australia so I don't know when American football is on the television. Here in Oz we have our footy season in winter so I'm just following that, so that is why Jacob and Billy are watching football on the TV in winter. Oh and I don't think you guys use the word 'hooligans' so if you don't it basically means 'idiots'. And Jakes new nickname is actually what I call the movie New Moon to my friends.
Number Two: Baby name! I decided on Sarah because I thought it would be nice to honor Jake's mother but I decided to put in Hope for a completely different reason. You see I'm obsessed with double meanings and so every single OC in this story no matter how minor they are all of their names mean Hope in one form or another. Just so there is always a little bit of hope around Jake and Bells.
Number Three: I am aware that Bella should have had an ultrasound before the twenty week scan where they find out they are having a girl. But I didn't want to have to put two ultrasound scenes in and I really wanted Jake and Bells to see their baby together for the first time and find out it was a girl then too. So that is why Bella received her first ultrasound at twenty weeks.
And finally I finished this chapter on ANZAC day. For those of you who don't know it is the day that Australia remembers and pays homage to our fighting men and women from the past and present and who have paid the ultimate price so that we may live in peace. Lest we Forget, ANZAC day 2011.
