A/N: In no particular order, little snippets of crazy. As before, reading the posted sections under Lovehammer Inc may help with understanding these.


Angron stared down at the little girl. "Mortarion has a daughter?" he asked.

"I am Mortarion," the girl stated in a monotone.

He looked at Persephone who nodded in confirmation. "Ah." Angron scratched his head for a moment and them picked up Mortarion by the scruff of her neck and placed her on Persephone's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" the Senshi asked.

Angron held up his helmet. "Pictures," he explained, setting the optical sensors to record as he aimed them towards the pair.


In theory Angron was supposed to let Horus go through the humiliation of fighting youma in a short skirt. He wasn't very good at that part though: for one thing he wasn't sure why the skirt was supposed to be embarassing - it was basically a kilt and he'd worn those for years since they were easier to repair than trousers. Also letting someone else do the fighting was boooooring.

In this particular case Angron dived headlong off the side of a building, bungee rope trailing behind his feet, skirt riding 'up' his thighs in a way that would have embarassed a real girl (and that gave Nefer nightmares). The carefully measured rope slowed Angron to a halt at precisely the right height behind the youma.

He quickly wrapped his brawny arms around the monster and roared in delight as the tension in the rope dragged them up the side of the building. He used the youma as a cushion against the friction of the brickwork, which didn't seem to do it any good.

When they came to rest, perhaps halfway up, Angron deposited the stunned and somewhat abraded youma on a window ledge while he bent at the waist, reached up and grabbed the rope with one hand and unknotted it from his ankles with the other.

"Who are you?" the youma demanded, somewhat hysterically. Being grabbed like that seemed to have knocked their customary arrogance out of it for the moment. "What do you want?"

"I'm Sailor Angron!" Angron replied cheerily, although he kept his voice down a little, just in case Horus noticed him. It was amusing watching Sailor Horus quarter the streets looking for the missing youma with increasing paranoia. Maybe this was what Night Haunter found so... entertaining. "You're going to be my special friend."

The youma didnt know exactly what that meant but judging by the look in the bizarre Sailor's eyes, it was time to whimper in terror. Ignoring this, Angron lashed the end of the rope around the youma's ankles and began climbing the building side, hauling the rope and youma up behind him.

He was quite oblivious to the hundreds of photos that were taken of his barely covered rear during this process and would remain oblivious since Fulgrim considerately hunted down and punished the perpetrators before the photos were placed on the internet.


It had started out quite innocently. Two Blood Ravens had happened to be present when Persephone needed extra pairs of hands to carry the lamps she'd just purchased.

Then they got lost and called in a Thunderhawk to carry the three of them back to orbit.

It was, admittedly, an error of judgement not to explain to the pilot that they were taking Lady Persephone back to Primarch Mortarion's flagship and not to the Blood Raven Battle Barge.

That did not justify the Death Guard launching a boarding action to rescue their little sister though.

"My brothers," the Chapter Master observed solemnly. "I'm beginning to worry about our reputation."


"...and when the patient woke up, his whole skeleton was gone and the Doctor was never heard from again." Fabius broke into cackling laughter.

Solomon paused and then also chuckled. It was a fairly amusing story, after all, gruesome though it was.

After a moment the Apothecary leant forwards on the operating table, holding Eidolon's primary heart in his free hand. "Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license."

The Sergeant's chuckle cut off but before he could enquire there was a chirping from inside his ribcage.

"Archimedes!" Fabius glared angrily at the servo skull. "No!" The semi-intelligent device lifted itself out of the wound and scooted away on its anti-gravity propulsion. "It's filthy in there," the apothecary shouted after the device. "Ugh. Machines!"

Solomon considered his fellow member of Legion III's bedside manner rather eccentric at best. But this was the first time he'd ever contemplated his chances of running away from him. They weren't good. His injuries were severe: a mere mortal would long since have died.

Jamming the heart onto a many-pronged cybernetic implant of some kind, Fabius reached for one of the many invasive looking medical contraptions above the table. "Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage but I'm fairly certain yours -"

There was a sudden squelching sound and Fabius shut up.

"What was that noise?"

"The sound of progress, my friend," Fabius replied, turning around to a cabinet. "Ah, perfect." He returned with the heart - at least Solomon presumed it was the same heart. It looked... larger. "Where was I? Ah, there we go." He held it up again. "Come on... come on..." He burst out laughing as the organ began to beat in his hand.

"Oh. That looks good." Solomon was not happy at how surprised the Apothecary seemed to be to be saying that.

"Should I be awake for this?"

"Well... no. But as long as you are..." The Chief Apothecary dropped the heart back into the chest cavity and plunged his hands in after it. "Could you hold your ribcage open a bit? I can't seem..."

Solomon screamed as Fabius twisted the heart into position, less from that than the fact one of his ribs had come away in his hands.

"Oh don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back."

I'm never letting this lunatic treat me again, Solomon pledged privately to himself.


Persephone deployed her deadliest weapons: big, pleading eyes. "Please."

Mortarian's counter was a non-committal grunt that wasn't agreement or refusal.

"Oh go on," Sanguinius prodded him. "Say it."

"I will if you will."

Sanguinius's eyes grew slightly panicked. Persephone turned her puppy-dog eyes upon him and the leader of the Blood Angels folded faster than a pack of cards. "Alright, but no recording this." He glared discreetly over Perspehone's head at Mortarion. "And you go first."

Mortarion's mouth worked as he built up some phlegm. Sanguinius and Persphone moved out of direct line. Their brother was something of a perfectionist. "Lets get dangerous," he spat, to Perspehone's applause.

Then he smirked slightly at Sanguinius. "Your turn."

The winged Primarch shuffled forwards, looming over Persephone and then leant down to look at her, holding out his hand, two fingers crossed. "Repeat after me: This world!"

"This world," she repeated obediently, trying not to giggle.

"Is Made Of!"

"Is made of!"

"LOVE AND PEACE!"

"Love and Peace!" she squealed and then hugged his leg for a moment before returning to Mortarion's lap.


The wedding had come as a surprise to the imperial family. Invitations had been sent out with calculated speed so that the majority of them would only barely be able to arrive in time, and had been terse to the point of bluntness: the wedding would take place whether they were there or not.

The invitations hadn't even named the bride.

Admittedly, secretiveness was not entirely surprising when coming from Alpharius.

The vast cathedral-like wedding hall was filled with guests from around the galaxy. Perturabo calculated on first entering that at least half were agents of the Alpha Legion in disguise. He had only revised the numbers upwards since that moment and had only been persuaded not to teleport himself and Tekhne back to his flagship when his wife reminded him that with so much of the imperial family in one place the level of security might have some point.

The first ten pews on either side of the aisle were reserved for the imperial family, placements calculated partly on the basis of Legion number and partly on seniority, so Lion El'Jonson and Alta were prominent in the first pew on one side and Serenity and Horus effortlessly dominated the other front pew.

The Emperor had not yet arrived, but a particularly large chair had been set aside from him. He had arrived, among the latest to do so, and had immediately been drawn aside by Alpharius. The rest of the family could only hope firstly that this was in order to meet the bride and that secondly the Emperor would form the desired impression of said bride. Whether the desired impression was favourable or not tended to depend on how fond the individual making the wish was of the youngest Primarch.

The other notable absence (at least among those attending - Guilleman had sent sincere regrets that as he was on the other side of the galaxy he would not be able to arrive until at least a week after the ceremony) was Angron. He was certainly present - his equerry was visible among the other high officers of the World Eaters. Of course, the fact that Kharn was swallowing sedative pills as if they were candy was a touch worrying...

At some unseen signal, the music paused and then segued into a more formal note, signalling the beginning of the ceremony. As those gathered ceased conversations, a side door opened and Alpharius entered, wearing not his armour but a ceremonial uniform in the violet and blue of his Legion. Towering at his side was Angron, wearing a formal white tunic, crimson jacket and a kilt of blue and white tartan. (Thora grabbed her husband's ear just before he was about to unleash a mocking wolf-whistle at the sight of his brother's bare calfs. Whatever she then whispered into his ear had him pale).

When they took positions indicating that Angron was acting as aide (or 'best man' in some traditions) to Alpharius, heads began to turn towards the back of the chamber where the great doors were slowly swinging open.

The Emperor entered, the bride upon his arm. The bride was veiled and wore a long white dress while the Emperor, as majestic as ever, seemed totally unperturbed. Only the more psychically astute - Magnus and Ira for example, could tell his emotions were in tumoil. Horrified disbelief was Magnus' later theory. Ira countered with her own belief that the Emperor was trying not to laugh out loud. Their debate would eventually last all through the night and end, during breakfast, with a negotiated settlement that both theories were probably correct.

Eyes widened as vision keen beyond mortal levels dissected the identity of Alpharius' chosen bride. Reactions varied - Lorgar fainted, Fulgrim tutted disapprovingly and Azmina smugly noted to herself that she'd won a bet with Sanguinius.

The magistrate - a local official visibly emoting utter terror in playing a prominient role in such distinguished company - cleared his throat as the Emperor escorted the bride to the front of the chamber. "If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in matrimony, you are to declare it."

There was a pregnant silence.

A number of the imperial family considered strongly the option of raising objections on various grounds that they were fairly sure would be upheld. For one reason or another, they decided not to.

These reasons were:-

The Emperor was participating, thus at least tacitly approving.

Angron was glaring challengingly at the rest of the room, daring them to object.

Raising an objection would be a terrible, probably irretrievable insult to Alpharius.

For most of them, however, the most driving reason was the tears of happiness and radiated approval of Serenity. The Anima was emoting so much support for the wedding that Alpharius was actually not shooting suspicious glances in her direction, an unprecendented situation.

Lorgar probably would not have been swayed by these factors but he remained unconscious, propped up by Kor Phareon in a pretense that nothing unusual had happened in that pew.

When the silence grew too long (as determined by Angron turning his death glare upon the magistrate and opening his mouth to speak, that unlucky soul spoke swiftly: "Primarch Alpharius of XX Legion, the Alpha Legion, do you take Omegon, also Primarch of the Alpha Legion, to be your spouse...?"