Chapter 7
A/N: I am officially the worse "fan-fiction-writer-whatever-we-call-ourselves" ever. I know I am late and I cannot stop being guilty about it. I am a horrible person, and will probably be getting even more horrible because of exams coming up (fun. -_-)
I went to bed early yesterday because I heard that we were doing the simulations again today. Which I wasn't looking forward to, and I realized as we the line to who has to go in got shorter and shorter, I got even more anxious. There's got to be something wrong with me, and I'm sure it has something to do with that Divergent thing, right? I'm not sure whether I want it to be or not. When Amar finally calls my name, I get up and walk into the room, making sure all my nerves vanish from my face. We go over what I have to do and how this all works. When he said "Are you ready?" I told the lie that had been on my lips since this morning. "Yes."
"Great, okay. Good luck." And it began.
There was wind all around me and I couldn't see anything. When I finally got my hair out of my face, my father was standing in front of me, and there was a gun in my hand. It was the same simulation as the day before. This can't be right, aren't we supposed to see some of our fears this week, and then all of them when we do our fear landscape later? I heard the click of a gun next to my head and that voice I hated but couldn't put my finger on.
"Do it." she whispered. Her voice icy cold and full of malice. Despite the wind, I can here her perfectly.
"No." Not this time, I can change what I did before. Be better, and be brave. I will not shoot him again, end his life when he would never end mine.
"He goes, or you do, it's up to you." I wanted nothing more than to turn around and to punch the smile I can hear on her lips. And this time, nothing was stopping me to do so. I turned around and took the back of my gun and smashed it against her face. She fell to the ground. Her hair stuck to her face even though the wind was trying to move it out of the way, I couldn't see her face. But the rest of her was tall and slim, wearing business clothes and high heels. I took deep breaths, and before the simulation, I spit on her.
I regret not turning to see my dad's face to see his reaction, even if he wouldn't have been proud.
When I woke up gasping, Amar was ready. He handed me a glass of water right away. While gulping it down, I stared at him, expecting to see a fake smile and a phony 'Good job'. But instead, he was frowning. Maybe that was good, I'd finally get answers. It was he who spoke first.
"We need to talk." He said sternly, as if it was my fault that the simulation had repeated itself.
I know. "Okay." He got up from his chair and walked out of the room from the side door, not waiting for me to catch up. The side door, well, this couldn't be good, but it's not like I thought it was going to be. I followed him out the door and he stood there pacing, and he stopped when he saw me. He made sure no one was there when he said "You're Divergent."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said. 'Tell me more' I thought.
"Emma..." He was pulling at his dark hair now. "Listen to me, what I am about to tell you, you can never telling a living soul, ever, unless I tell you too, which I never will."
"Okay..."
"You are Divergent. You're different. Your mind is different from others. When you did your Aptitude test, what did you get?"
I wanted to tell him that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, but I could tell he wasn't in the mood for sarcasm. "Inconclusive."
"Exactly! You aren't like the others. You brain is stronger, and therefore, unset for only one faction. You're made for more. You can do different, things. Powerful things. Dangerous things!" He stepped back a little, looking like he got a little carried away. "Like how you hit that woman in your simulation, normal people can't do that, but you, you can. There are other Divergent, but not many." All I could here was "not normal, not normal" It should of scared me. That I was something more powerful that anyone else. It didn't.
"What about my simulation? Why was it the same one as last time?"
"I don't know. I'll look into it, but I have never heard of it happening before." He looked down the dark hall we were in "You should go. They'll be wondering what's taking so long. Don't worry about it, just don't tell anyone."
"Promise." He attempted at a smirk but it was obvious that it was not even half-hearted.
"You don't seem like the type to go off telling me anyway." And he turned around and walked back into the simulation room, from here, I could here him calling the next name on the list.
I walked into the Pit and heard loud outbursts of screams and laughter all around me. I was looking for my quiet place to sit and watch. I kind of find it peaceful to watch war, makes me feel grounded. Apparently, Tobias wanted to quiet place to sit too, because he was walking around looking dazed. "Hey! Tobias!" I call out, waving my arms and waiting for him to look my way. Right when I was going to call after him again, he turned around and saw me, looking a little relieved. He came to stand in front of me, staying at a respectful and polite distance away. Damn Abnegations.
"Looking to be alone?" I asked him, my lips turning up a little at the sides. He nodded and didn't say anything. "Me too. We can be alone together." And against Abnegation customs, I grabbed his hand, in front of everyone though no one was actually paying attention, and ran to the chasm. I could feel his body tensing and hand tightening around mine.
"What are you doing?" He yelled, over the loud waves of the chasm. I turned around to look him in the eye, we are the same height.
"Trust me. Do you trust me?" I asked, not having a clue on what his answer will be. He just nodded and I turned around. I grabbed his hand tighter and walked to the edge of the chasm where the hard rocks were. I carefully put my foot on one of the rocks, and I could feel Tobias trying to pull be back. "Don't worry." I whispered "I've done this before." I didn't think he heard me, but then he relaxed, only a little, and I knew that he did. I took another step and another and he followed closely behind me. I could feel his heat despite the cold splashes on my clothes from the chasm. When I finally got to the rock, which was now my rock, I sat down, letting go of his hand. But he must've been caught off guard because he almost fell off and I grabbed it again. He gave me a half-hearted smile and sat down beside me.
"There. What do ya think?" I asked, looking at him expectantly. I would be lying if I said my heart didn't flip a little. I could help but wonder if he was Divergent like me. If was something far-fetched to hope for, and was probably bad to want it anyway. Tobias' voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Not very quiet." He said, looking down and smirking now. "But...I like it."
And we didn't say anything else. We rested our backs against the wall and I closed my eyes, letting the water spray against my ankles and shins. And letting my heart thump to the pulse in Tobias' palm. If only for a little while.
