Beep. Beep. Beep.
The jagged and shattering death knell woke me from a serene sleep. Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating; it wasn't really jagged and the only shattering it did was as the source of my evaporating dream. The memory of my dream faded and with it went the happy feeling in my stomach that meant it was a good dream. And, I suppose I wouldn't describe the insistent beeping as a death knell.
I rolled out of bed and stumbled my way to the dresser, pulling out my bikini and short denim shorts, feeling more awake with each passing second. The alarm didn't scare the crap out of everyone this time and I theorized that it was because we now knew what sound it made. Instead of falling out of bed, Fin sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Emma and Lo stirred and sat up, yawning at exactly the same time.
My smile grew as I slipped into my swimmers. Day three of resort life and we were already setting up a morning ritual. "Ready to surf the office?"
Emma jumped up, excitement replacing her previous fatigue, "Absolutely." I watched her run to the dresser to grab her clothes and laughed.
"In a hurry?"
"I just don't want to waste any time," She said.
Fin jumped up and followed Emma's example, "Yeah, I want to have as much time to surf as I can before we punch in."
At the top of the stairs we met Broseph, Reef and Johnny, who obviously had the same idea as us. Greetings were exchanged as we made our way down the stairs, grabbing our surfboards and following the path that led us to that legendary surf spot. The office.
It really had been worth all the horrible – and fun at times – tests we had to do. I stopped on the white sand beach and stripped off my denim shorts, deciding not to bother wearing them on the way down anymore. Everything about this place was pristine and perfect. The sun-warmed sand, the liquid blue crystal waters, the swell of double overhead waves. The beach was completely empty of tourists and guests. This was our secret place – our sanctuary.
I ran to catch up with the others, not even noticing that shouts of happiness escaped my lips and mingled with their voices. Cool water lapped up my legs and splashed on my body as I dived on my surfboard and paddled out to a wave. It felt good. Natural. This morning and afternoon tradition of surfing was becoming a part of me and I knew when this summer ended, I would be sad to see it go.
I surfed with a passion, throwing out tricks and taking note of the familiar tense and release of my muscles as I systematically preformed each one. With surfing hard comes the feeling of exhilaration as I successfully landed those tricks. And like all forms of exercise, adrenaline also pumped through my body, making me feel unstoppable and untouchable. My body easily fell back into the same rhythm that it has had memorized since I first began surfing six years ago.
I glided across the waves the air and wind pushing my ridiculously long hip-length hair out of my face and the corners of my eyes watered a little. As I spun my board around I saw Emma and Lo sitting on their boards in the shallower water, away from the waves. Emma waved and I started to move toward, wanting to be a part of their conversation. Fin obviously had the same idea and in less than a minute we were sitting together.
I looked at them, these three girls who had become my friends in the short span of three days. Fin, with her crass and fiery attitude whose presence made me braver and outspoken. Her attitude had rubbed off on me and I felt louder and less yielding. Lo, with her spoilt demeanor but nevertheless generous and approachable disposition. She may be a millionaire's daughter, but she was a millionaire's daughter who saw the importance and irreplaceable company of good girlfriends; something I was beginning to see. She was the epitome of the word 'girlfriend' and through her I saw what it was to be a friend. And Emma, with her sweet goodness and innocence that gave me something to be protective of. Her 'younger' persona and inexperience she displayed through the workings of life made me step up and show her that she had it in her to be herself to be confident and not look to others. Her wide brown eyes made it hard to deny her anything and I would probably always think of her happiness before my own. She would find it soon, I would make sure, but for the time being I would be her leading light.
Distantly I wondered if they saw the effect they had on me, if they realized how important they were becoming to me. I could be myself with them.
I trailed my fingers in the water and watched it ripple outwards. It amazed me that something so powerful and uncontrollable could be affected by such a light touch.
"This is the sickest beach," Emma said in awe.
"And the best part; no tourists," Fin added. I never realized before how strong and loud her voice was. "Hey Lo, is that your brother?" Fin pointed to the shore.
Before I even realized what I was doing, my head whipped around to look where she was pointing. The morning light outlined his body and the camera in his hand as he filmed Reef surf.
"You mean the AV club president? Ty is obsessed with making surf videos; he wants to make a career out of it or something. He's such a nerd," Lo said but I couldn't tell if it was ridicule or pride in her voice.
His camera was expertly trained on Reef as he sliced through the water. What was his draw to recording people surfing rather than being the surfer in the water himself? I couldn't imagine trading my surfboard for a camera, even as an extra hobby like what Ty did. I would end up leaving the camera on the beach and racing into the water. Then a thought flashed through my mind; a camera's film is the memory and the lens is the mirror. Maybe the camera was just a metaphor for wanting to show the world the passion of surfing, taking not just the act of surfing itself, but what surfing was really about. And then I understood it.
"Aw, I think it's cool. It's like there's more to him than just a cute smile and nice eyes and a killer tan," Emma said, trailing off dreamily.
"Ew!" Lo said to her. "That's my brother you're drooling over."
"So, are you going to hang in the line-up until he notices you or are you going to go catch some waves?" Fin asked.
I laughed to cover my sinking feeling. Okay, I'd admit that I felt a connection to Ty. I felt comfortable around him, and I felt an impulse to be near him. In the short amount of time I'd talked to him, it just felt natural. So yes, I liked him, more than I should. The funny thing was, Fin was right; he was oblivious to the looks he got from girls – he was just too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice. I liked him, but so did Emma, that much was clear. So, when it came down to it, whose happiness was more important? I wasn't selfish but I wasn't selfless either. Selflessness was the act of giving up something you wanted in turn for someone else's happiness. The Dalai Lama XIV said "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." Liking Ty would be hurting Emma. I wasn't self-deprecating but was it wrong to want your friend to be happy. Especially when previously in my life real friends had been hard to come by. I could curb my interest in him. That was the good thing about having only Fin suspect something – you could pretend otherwise. And it wasn't like I was in love with him, like my life depended on having him as my boyfriend. I wasn't about to let a minimal attraction come between Emma and I. I'm not saying it would, but why do I have to risk it? Emma's friendship is important to me. It would just be easier if Emma was alone in her pining for Ty. Not that I pine anyway. And soon enough, Ty would realise how great Emma was.
But that doesn't mean I can't be friends with him. Or talk to him. Friends talk, don't they?
"They look a lot bigger out here than they did on the beach. Why do they call this place the office anyway?" Emma asked nervously.
Lo and I looked at each other. "Because if you bail…" I said.
"…You're gunna get worked," Lo finished.
"Hard," Fin added. Emma grimaced nervously and Fin started making chicken sounds at her.
"Okay, okay," Emma said before paddling to a wave. We sat there and watched her, seeing what would happen.
She made it about half way up the wave before her board slide out from under her feet and she was thrown in the water.
"Ohhh," I said, wincing for her.
"Worked," Lo said.
"Totally worked," Fin agreed.
"Ladies," Reef said as he passed us on his board. He flashed a grin at us and I couldn't help but notice it was mainly directed at Fin. Hhmmm.
Emma's head burst through the surface of the water beside us and she spluttered, coughing up water, "Did he see me?"
"Fortunately, no," Fin said. "Come on, we still have time before work."
Emma and Lo followed her out. "I think I'll head back to shore," I called to them. They waved in acknowledgement and I paddled back until the water went up to my hips. I hopped off my board and tilted my head back before dipping under the water, pulling my hair back. Grabbing my board, I walked for the shore.
I walked across the sand and plopped down, letting the sun's rays dry me. My hair hung in stringy tendrils down my back, the shorter parts curling on my shoulders. My father had shown me pictures of mum, before she was pregnant with me. She always had long spiralling tresses that reached her lower back. It was why I could never bring myself to cut my own hair. And once I became accustomed to it, cutting it off would mean cutting off a part of me. It was another connection to my mum and I embraced it as my own.
The sun reflected off the water and I watched Fin, Lo and Emma surf, or in Emma's case, attempt to surf. She was getting good though. I didn't even notice Ty until he had sat next to me and snapped the side panel of his camera shut.
"Hey," He said.
"Hey," I smiled back. We sat there in comfortable silence before I blurted out, "Why do you film people surfing?"
He looked at me, surprised. "You know, I think you're the first person to ever ask me that." I lifted my eyebrows at him. He shrugged his shoulders before continuing, "I can't explain it, I just want to capture what surfing is. I want this camera to store what surfing really is. It's…I can't explain it."
I nodded at him, "I know what you're trying to say, I think."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Surfing isn't a sport and anyone who thinks that is wrong. When people call it a sport, it takes away the personal and sometimes subtle interaction people have with the natural environment. The sport of surfing is actually the reverse of surfing and the media has distorted the essence of what it is. Competitions, competitions, competitions, all the time. Surfing is not a lot of things; it's definitely not dry or clear-cut, it's not comfortable or organised, it's not easy or predictable. Real surfing doesn't have people organising you, it's one of the most immersed -in-nature activity you can do. It's solitary and addictive and full body and full on senses and it can be dangerous.
Real surfing is about the wave. About the shape of the wave, riding the wave, feeling the wave, dancing with the wave and being a part of the wave. Surfing requires you to be at home in the water; you have to be able to feel what's going on around you. The natural peace of the water, it's sounds, it's movements, the hypnotic sparkles when the sunlight shines on it. It's about being as much as one with the sea as you can be, to flow with it. That's what surfing is. And I think that's what you try to capture when you film people." I said, surprised at myself.
"That's exactly it," Ty smiled. Then he ruffled my hair, "Who knew you were so philosophical."
"Not me," I laughed.
"Do you think I could record you saying that?"
"I don't remember what I said," I laughed again. It was true. All of it had just come rushing from my lips, I didn't even think about what I was saying. Out on the water I saw Emma, Lo and Fin start to make their way to the shore. "I have to go," I told him. "I don't want to be late for work."
I got up and walked to the edge of the sea, watching the foam circle my ankles. I looked up just in time to see Fin splash water at me, drenching me down my front.
I looked at her. "I just got dry," I complained.
She laughed at me, "Come on, we're going to be late."
We walked back to the dorm, chattering happily. It was cooler surrounded by all these trees; they blocked the heat from the sun and only some of the rays were able to filter through and reach the grass on the path.
I grabbed a towel that hung over the wooden railing of the porch and dried myself off as best I could, glaring at Fin who didn't even bother to look remorseful. We raced along the path to the resort, hoping we were running late by Bummer's watch.
Thanks so much for reading!
Let me know what you think. :)
